Funny / Vikings

Season 1

Episode 1 – Rite of Passage

• Björn drinks an entire tankard of ale in the pilot to show how manly he is. An 11 year old boy downed a whole tankard of alcohol.
  Rollo: Heh. You're looking a little pale there, Björn.
• "So where do you think the Earl's going to send us this time? Those bastards to the East are as poor as we are."
• Floki's like a walking generator of these.
  • Floki jumping out of the bushes and shrieking at Björn with a mask on. And then, Floki's incredibly understated reaction. The juxtaposition of the two creates a great deal of humour. The historical in-joke citing how Ragnar Lodbrok became fearful that sons' combined fame would eclipse even his own is also great.
    Floki: [shrieks, takes mask off] Hello. How are you?
    Björn: ...Well. Thank you, sir.
    Floki: Let me have a closer look at you... Oh, you have your father's eyes... Unfortunately...
    Ragnar: Why unfortunately?
    Floki: It means he will grow up to be like you! And so he will want to do better than you. And you will hate him for that!
    Ragnar: [gets angry and tries to hit him]
• Rollo talking to Gyda:
  Rollo: Your mother was a famous shieldmaiden.
  Lagertha: Was?
  Rollo: [hurriedly] Is!

Episode 2 – Wrath of the Northmen

• Floki's reaction to the storm lashing the Viking longship is both this and in the CMOA page.
  "It's true. Thor is beating his hammer! The lightning is the sparks from his anvil! BUT HE'S NOT ANGRY WITH US! I UNDERSTAND NOW! WHY SHOULD HE BE ANGRY WITH US?! WHY SHOULD HE WANT TO SINK US?!! DO YOU NOT SEE?! HE IS CELEBRATING!! HE IS FULL OF GOOD CHEER!!! HE WANTS TO SHOW EVERYBODY THAT HE CAN'T SINK THIS BOAT!!! HE LOVES THIS BOAT!!! IT'S MY BOAT!!! AND THE GODS LOVE MY BOAT!!!"
  • Ragnar's reaction is funny too;
    "Floki! Get down from there! Don't you remember?! You can't swim!"
  • When the Vikings are facing the monastery for the first time, they begin to march towards it. Floki has to turn around because he was facing the wrong way.
• When they discover a room full of golden treasure Knut expresses confusion why so much would be left unguarded and theorizes that maybe a spell protects the room, Blink-and-You-Miss-It but Ragnar quickly pulls his hand away from a golden chalice he was about to pick up at the mention of a possible spell.
  • Also the vikings expressing confusion at the Christian God, wondering why anyone would worship a dead god instead of a living one like Thor or Odin.
  • Floki finds a room full of books and scrolls, having never seen paper before his first reaction is to try to eat a page. He then finds out that it is highly flammable and happily lights the whole place on fire.

Episode 3 – Dispossessed

• Floki's whooping yell of excitement when they catch sight of Kattegat after returning from Lindisfarne. Gustaf Skarsgård just has so much fun doing this character.
• Haraldsson's tone and expression when he tells Ragnar that he shouldn't expect to keep the plunder he earned. Bonus points for using Ragnar's words against him.
  "You want me to pay you? Even though you've already told me you took these spoils as easily as from... babies?"

Episode 4 – Trial

• Floki's antics at the church at Haxem. First he takes a sip of the blood of Christ, and promptly spits it out on account of it not being to his taste. Much to the Saxons horror, the funniest part is that Floki doesn't know why they're upset and keeps drinking. While all the while, the Saxons are gasping in shock at his sacrilege.
• This exchange at Ragnar's trial;
  Earl Haraldson: You are the wife of Ragnar Lodbrok...?
  Lagertha: I am, lord.
  Earl Haraldson: How extraordinary you managed to be there at the same time.
  • And another,
    Svein: A murder is committed and the only witnesses are a husband and his wife.
    Earl Haraldson: Well, it's unfortunate we can't find out who committed it because they both take credit for it.

Episode 5 – Raid

• This exchange between Ragnar and his son.
  Björn: You must be patient, father.
  Ragnar: [imitating] "You must be patient, father", shut up.

Episode 7 – A King's Ransom

• Floki lying on the floor and examining the banquet table of Aelle's hall in old Norse;
  Floki: This table is very well made...
  Torstein: So are the women!
• The look of utter horror on the Saxons' face when Ragnar gives them his price. And then, the reactions.
  Ragnar: Two thousand pounds, gold and silver.
  Abbot: What did he say?!
  Noble: How much?!
  Ragnar: [to noble, speaking slowly] Two thousand pounds.
  Aelle: I do not think I heard you properly, Ragnar Lodbrok.
  Ragnar: Hmm. [gets up on his chair and shouts] TWO THOUSAND POUNDS! In weight.
• The Vikings behavior at the feast, they tear into the food before the Saxons say grace — much to the latter's horror, and repulse them with their table manners. Then they stare blankly when the Saxons go about the ritual, and later express their displeasure with the hymns. All in Old Norse.
  Torstein: ... What terrible noise.
  Leif: These people are so strange.
• Floki tries to eat a plate. He then shatters it. And then Arn shatters one with a headbutt. And then they all start breaking things. Ragnar's reaction is pretty funny too;
  Ragnar: Stop it, stop making me laugh. I'm trying to be serious.
• The Vikings reaction when Aelle insists that one of them becomes Christian.
  Aella: I must ask that either you or one of your companions agrees to be baptized into our faith. That way, I can make peace with a friend and fellow Christian, and not an enemy.
  Ragnar: You want one of us to become Christian?
  Aella: Yes.
  Ragnar: [to his men, in Old Norse] He wants one of us to become Christian!
  Vikings: [all laugh uproariously]
  • Before that, Ragnar’s reaction to Aella adding an additional condition to the agreement is to roll his eyes and bury his face in his arms as if to say “Seriously? Can’t it just be a simple ransom?”
• Rollo's baptism in A King's Ransom. It's actually a clever scheme to fleece the Saxons out of money, but it's very clear by the way he behaves even during it that he thinks the entire ritual is stupid. The way he looks at the priest even suggests that he thinks he's a madman.
  "It was a joke. I didn't believe it. I didn't even know what the old fool was saying."
  • Rollo's look of trepidation right before the bishop dunks his head under the water in order to baptize him. Only made more amusing by Clive Standen's eyes going back and forth like a frightened animal, showing that Rollo really doesn't know what the fuck is going on.
  • And then Rollo's reaction after coming out, his body language clearly indicating; "you crazy bastard Christians! What kind of religion does this to people?!"
• When the Vikings take their seats in the hall and start drinking as they wait for the feast, Aelle brings his wife Ealswith and his son Egbert to meet them. Leif tries to make the boy feel at home, but forgets the... differences in how Norsemen and Saxons raise their children.
  Aelle: Ragnar Lodbrok, may I present my wife Ealswith, and my son, Egbert.
  Leif: [to Egbert, offering a mug of beer] Skoal! Drink?
• During the night raid on the Saxon camp, Rollo kicks one of the sleeping Saxons in the head and then throws a torch into his tent, setting him on fire. Just how causal Rollo is about the whole thing is hilarious in a Black Comedy sort of way.
  • Floki manages to defeat the leader of the Saxon army... by tearing out the pegs holding his tent up and dropping it on his head before he can even get out and fight.

Episode 8 – Sacrifice

• Horik going into the temple at Uppsala in the garb of a peasant and rousing the priests awake by throwing a chicken at them. His roaring laughter when they awaken and try to get him out of the temple is only made funnier by his aides' reaction.
  Horik: PRIESTS! [throws a rooster at them] STIR YOURSELVES!! [Hilarity Ensues]

Episode 9 – All Change

• There are a few from episode 9:
  • While being sent to fish, Torstein and Arne happen upon a naked, bathing Aslaug and stare at her. Then the shield-maidens come out and start showing their indignation — their reactions;
    Torstein: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT?!
    Arne: [covers his good eye] I'm blind, see? I can't look at anything!
  • And then explaining this to Ragnar;
    Ragnar: I never knew that fresh fish came stored in salt.
    Arne: Ragnar, we came across her bathing in the river. What were we supposed to do?
    Ragnar: Fish.
    Arne: You didn't see her!
    Ragnar: Oh, I see. The two of you end up with your faces cut and leave me without fresh fish. And yet I must apologize because you had to look at a naked body.
  • And when Ragnar is told that Aslaug expects an apology, he's initially agreeable when he thinks it's supposed to be from Arne and Torstein. Then they make it clear that Aslaug expects Ragnar to apologize, and he's not so accommodating.
    Ragnar: Who is she to put such a high price upon her nakedness?

Season 2

Episode 1 – Brother's War

• Ragnar cuddling the baby goat. Just... Where did that come from?
  • And Aslaug's slightly startled reaction to the goat. A first hint of how uncomfortable she will feel later when she and Ragnar's family will have to leave Kattegat and live as refugees.
• Both of the dinners with Ragnar, Lagertha, and Aslaug are hilariously awkward. Between Lagertha and Aslaug trying (not very hard) to find some common ground and failing miserably, and Ragnar tiptoeing on eggshells to not piss off either of these very dangerous and beautiful women, both scenes are Cringe Comedy at its finest. It culminates in Ragnar basically asking Lagertha to agree to permanent A Threesome Is Hot (though her reaction to this is in no way funny).

Episode 6 – Unforgiven

• Siggy attempts to open up to Floki.
  Siggy: Can you keep a secret?
  Floki: [scoffs] No!
• One of the battle scenes, an enemy charges at Rollo. Rollo proceeds to angle his shield just the right way to flip the guy straight over it.

Episode 7 – Blood Eagle

• On off-days, Torstein and Ragnar play a drinking game. It involves getting drunk, balancing more drink on your head, and then chucking knives or shooting bows at each other's upraised shields. If you flinch and cause your drink to fall, you lose.

Episode 8 – Boneless

• A strong dose of Black Comedy when King Ecbert and the Princess are discussing her recently deceased brother.
  Princess Kwenthirth: The Pope already made him a saint! Apparently, he lived an exemplar life.
  King Ecbert: ...Do you mean to say he was not all-together virtuous?
  Kwenthirth: [incredibly nonchalantly] Well, he raped me when I was twelve, so make up your own mind.
  [King Ecbert in Stunned Silence and the resident Bishop chokes on his food simultaneously]
• The subsequent sex scene between Kwenthirth and Ecbert also qualifies. Poor Ecbert can't catch up with the gal.
• When Ecbert orders his soldiers to pleasure Kwenthirth, he mutters to them "Good luck." For their part, the soldiers have gigantic "We get to bang a princess!" grins.

Episode 9 – The Choice

• Kwenthrith, er, examining her new Norse mercenaries.
  • Honestly, her reactions throughout the whole episode could count as a Moment of Funny. Kwenthrith visibly perks up as soon as Ragnar walks into the negotiation hall, and she continues to openly eyeball him (and possibly Björn) for the remainder of the scene. She looks downright gleeful from then on out.
  • At first she's disappointed Ragnar isn't among the mercenaries, but quickly decides she's quite happy with the lot. Finally, she straight up sticks her hand down the pants of one to get a feel for his. . . weapon, and comes away quite impressed, proving beyond doubt that the woman has no filter.
    Kwenthrith: I should like to breed with them. I think we will produce giants.
• Ecbert looking less than pleased by Aelle belly flopping into his bath and kissing him on the forehead.
• When Björn speaks with his father before the battle, Ragnar's wrapped up in a blanket with only his face showing from inside of it. For any viewers who have seen Star Wars, their first reaction will probably be, "Ragnar's a Jedi!"
• Even though the situation is very dire, the expression of Ragnar and his family during the battle. They are all clearly fed up with Horik's behaviour.

Episode 10 – The Lord's Prayer

• After finishing the episode for the first time, Floki's creeper-like behavior becomes rather hilarious during repeat views.
• In the European version of the episode, there is a scene which shows Ragnar in his bed, a very satisfied smirk on his face... the camera then moves to the left revealing first Aslaug sleeping beside him — and then Lagertha.
• Athelstan forcing Ragnar back on his knees to finish the prayer properly.
• The morning after the arrival and victory party, both Ragnar and Athelstan can be seen sitting at the table, heads in their hands, and quite obviously nursing some killer hangovers from the previous night of drinking and partying. Even their posture and facial expressions are similar, which would explain why Björn and Lagertha did most of the talking for them.

Season 3

Episode 1 – Mercenaries

• Ecbert declaring his infatuation for Lagertha. At great length. And when Lagertha asks Athelstan what the foreign king's going on about, Athelstan's translation is simply, "He likes you."
  • Poor Athelstan's expression during all this screams 'I am essentially helping this king flirt with my lord's ex-wife. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS???'

Episode 4 – Scarred

• The little private chat between Ragnar and Ecbert during the celebration feast:
  Ragnar: Do you think you are a good man?
  Ecbert: Yes. I think so. Are you a good man?
  Ragnar: Yes. I think so. Are you corrupt?
  Ecbert: Oh yes. Are you?
  Ragnar: Uh huh.
• In a great display of Black Comedy, the reactions of the guests at the feast after Princess Kwenthrith poisons her brother and claims sole rule of Mercia:
  • Ragnar and Ecbert are awkwardness personified
  • Aelle looks utterly disgusted, and makes sure his daughter doesn't drink the wine by slapping her hand down
  • Rollo can barely hide his amusement
  • Lagertha can’t stop rolling her eyes at the whole fiasco.
  • And it is all capped off with a toast where all the guests take a one look at their cups and each other... after which they all decide to spill them on the floor.

Episode 6 – Born Again

• A gem of Black Comedy when Ragnar goes through the trouble of burying the corpse of his friend Athelstan up the mountains, lamenting "The things I do for you" and slapping his arse.
• Also when Ragnar says he has no idea what a martyr was and still don't, while burying Athelstan who reconverted to Christianity and was murdered for it, the irony may make you chuckle if only a little.

Episode 7 – Paris

• When Ecbert is talking to Aethelwulf, he comments that Kwenthirith ought to cease her slaughters and rejoin the alliance with Wessex, or
  Ecbert: If not, we will show her the iron fist, we will invade and we will destroy her, and [starts gesturing wildly] her limbs will be fastened to four horses, her body will be torn apart!.
  [Bishop of Wessex stares at him, shocked]
  Ecbert: ...Or something of that sort. But also tell her we have a repugnance for such matters, being Christians! [blesses himself, Bishop smiles pleased]
  • In fact, just the Bishop of Wessex period. He seems like a good enough man, but he's woefully out of his depth around just about anyone from the main cast and his facial expressions as it repeatedly hits him are hilarious.

Episode 8 – To The Gates!

• It's only funny in a pretty dark way, but during the start of the assault on Paris, Rollo and a young berserker jump off the boat and are standing there while the Frankish crossbowmen fire at them. The berserker gets hit in the shoulder and smiles before he begins laughing hysterically, apparently feeling no pain due to the mushrooms. He continues laughing... and then gets shot again, this time in the head, killing him instantly. So much for that guy.

Episode 9 – Breaking Point

• A Christian missionary gets the bright idea to come to Kattegat to preach Christianity and openly mock the Viking religion. Aslaug offers to test his religion through a trial by ordeal. The missionary is then handed a glowing iron pole, and he calmly walks over to Aslaug and drops it at her feet... then it turns out it was all in his head, and the predictable happens. It's more than slightly amusing to watch his smug demeanor crumble as the residents cackle.
• Earl Siegfrid's execution makes a hilarious turn towards Black Comedy. He asks for someone to hold his hair so the axeman can make a clean cut, but then pulls back at the last second... yanking the hands of the Frankish soldier holding his hair into the path of the axe. Siegfrid's booming laugh as the soldier wails at the sight of the stumps of his hands is priceless.

Episode 10 – The Dead

• When Ragnar jumps out of his coffin one of the Parisian women faints.
  • Also, in a bit of Black Comedy, when he stabs the Bishop in the throat he sticks his tongue out like he's pranking the congregation, or something.
• When Rollo is presented to the Emperor's court, Gisla gives him an epic and scathing "The Reason You Suck" Speech, only of him to respond with the biggest, goofiest smile he has has in the entire run of the show and saying in halting Frankish...
  Rollo: Je vous... salue!^note Lit. Hail to you. Rendered. hello
  • His face while saying that is basically going, "Oh Odin, I hope I said that right..."
  • During her speech the wanderer repeatedly opens his mouth to translate her insults, then thinks better of it and maintains an awkward silence, like "Shit, I better not translate that..."
  • Rollo keeps smiling while she delivers like "I haven't a clue of what she's saying but she looks pretty anyway".
  • The Emperor's hilarious Facepalm while his daughter is insulting her husband-to-be in front of the entire court.

Season 4

Episode 1 – A Good Treason

• Rollo's wedding is one of the funniest moments ever:
  • How Gisla walks into the chapel crying like she's going to be beheaded and the Emperor pushing her head down to the faldstool because she's interrupting the ceremony by standing still.
  • Gisla being carried to the bedroom in an absolutely humiliating Over-the-Shoulder Carry while she kicks and screams. She looks like toddler being put to bed because she's having a temper tantrum.
  • Gisla defiantly spitting on Roland's face as he's undressing her for the bedding ceremony. While Roland has to keep a poker face because she's the Princess, Rollo's amused face is like "I'm liking this woman more and more".
  • Rollo's completely nonplussed reaction to Gisla pulling a knife on him during the wedding night, as well as her frustration at him not taking her seriously as a threat.
  • After she threatens him with a knife and making it clear they will not have sex, Rollo just rolls over goes to sleep. She's hilariously indignant. First, she threatens him to fall asleep while she has her dagger on him, then when she realizes he has fallen asleep, she asks how he dare do so.

Episode 3 – Mercy

• Björn, self-exiled to isolation in a hunting lodge in the middle of nowhere, finds a cask of mead under the firewood. He drinks the whole thing and proceeds to get on all fours and howl at the moon.
  • Making it even funnier, when he wakes up the next day he looks like death warmed over.

Episode 4 – Yol

• Rollo and Gisla retire from the Christmas banquet in the palace to have vigorous and very, very loud sex... while the Emperor her father and the entire court are listening in the banquet hall, looking at each other awkwardly. The crowning moment is the Emperor concluding the scene with a very embarrassed "Merry Christmas!" and toasting.
• Ragnar, hallucinating from Yidu's drugs, frantically paddling a boat. It takes him a while to realize he's going nowhere.

Episode 9 – Death All 'Round

• The entirety of the ceremony bestowing the title of consul to Alfred is made hilarious by the contrast between the pomp and pageantry of the event and the fact that all of this is being heaped on a child too small for most of the clothes he is in.

Episode 10 – The Last Ship

• Rollo realizing that his new Frankish forces have no balls to speak of in a pitched battle, forcing him to skewer the most vocal coward and improvise an awesome and surprisingly poetic Rousing Speech just to get them to fight past the first engagement.
• The exchange Björn has with the man that informs him about the existence of Magnus of Mercia:
  Björn: And you are certain that this Magnus is really my father's child?
  Thorhall: How can I be certain? I was not there at the conception.
  • Which results in a second one as Björn doesn't find it funny at all and gives Thorhall a Death Glare for a few seconds of awkward silence before they continue the conversation.
• Ragnar returns after a long absence from his duties in Kattegat to find three of his five sons waiting for him. Ivar joins moments later. Ragnar's response to seeing his youngest is just a couple of degrees north of insulting, though one could argue that the jest is his way of treating him as an equal to his other sons despite his condition. The delivery is what really sells it.
  Ragnar: Hello, Ivar. There's no mistaking you.

Episode 11 - The Outsider

• Ragnar and Astrid's first interaction:
  Astrid: I'm sure it does not amuse you to hear that my wet nurse told me many tales of your journeys West, and of your bravery, your resourcefulness, and your fame. I think my wet nurse was a little in love with you.
  Ragnar: When can I meet her?
• Ragnar seems surprised and delighted to realize that Astrid and Lagertha are sleeping together. He starts to ask Lagertha about it, only for her to cut him and refer to him as "ex-husband". It seems like a polite way to say "None of your business."

Episode 12 - The Vision

• The dinner with Aslaug and her sons has quite a few good exchanges
  Aslaug: Ubbe, you should have children.
  Ubbe: I probably already have.
  • In a moment that really stands out, when Aslaug is trying to tell her children that they need to have children of their own, she says "As a king's on you can have as many women as you like-". Ubbe and Hvitserk immediately toast one another, delighted that they apparently have her permission to sleep around.
• Ragnar is looking for men to join him in the raid on England, out to avenge the destruction of their settlement there. The man he's talking to informs him that his brother was part of that settlement, he's been wondering for years what happened to it, and now knows that Ragnar knew it had been destroyed years ago, but did not tell anyone. Ragnar has a hilariously awkward expression on his face as he realizes how doomed asking this man is.

Episode 13 – Two Journeys

• Björn, Floki, and the rest of their band meet Rollo after years. Rollo introduces his children, and Floki tries to scare them with a Death Glare. One of Rollo’s sons responds by sticking out his tongue, which actually seems to impress Floki.

Episode 14 – In the Uncertain Hour Before the Morning

• Ivar continues the charming banter and rapport he has built up with Ragnar, even while they are imprisoned.
• In an excellent display of Black Comedy, the callous and unceremonial way in which Aethelwulf and Ecbert immediately kick Magnus out to fend for himself after raising him for 14 years, just because he is not useful anymore.
• Ecbert and Ragnar, both piss drunk, pointing out the ridiculousness of each other's religions.

Episode 17 The Great Army

• Ivar comes to see Floki and Helga. When he sees Tanaruz, he offers a compliment that she'll be a fine slave. When Helga informs him that they're adopting her, Ivar is (for once) stunned speechless. He even looks at Floki as if to say "The Hel?" Floki's "Not my idea" expression is equally good.
• Immediately after that, we get this exchange:
  Floki: Its very sweet of you to drag your crippled arse all the way over here to see me.
  Ivar: Why do you think I want anything from you, you spindly legged knock-kneed boat-builder?
  Floki: It's nice to see how much you've matured since I've been away.
  Ivar: Matured? What you think I want to be an old fool like you?
  Floki: The way you behave dear Ivar, you'll never get the chance.
  (Pause. Both laugh and embrace each other).

Season 5

Episode 3 – Homeland

• Astrid retreats to her chamber after the feast. Harald follows, eager for some action. They sit on Astrid's bed and lean in for a kiss, but Harald puts his hand on Astrid's thigh. Astrid promptly hits him in the face. Harald walks back into the hall with a bleeding nose. The hall goes silent and Harald sits down in his throne and assembles a smile and says: "I have no luck with women!" The hall bursts out in laughter.

Episode 5 – The Prisoner

• Björn and Halfdan are given women to keep them company in the night. The next morning Björn asks Halfdan about is night. Then this exchange happens:
  Halfdan: It turns out she, was not a she.
  Björn: [after a long silence] And was that a problem for you?
• The next morning they are told Euphemius, the man they were bodyguarding, was captured and escaped.
  Halfdan: We haven't been the best bodyguards, have we?
  Björn: No, we have not.
• The Vikings when they realize that they've eaten Euphemius. Sinric is horrified and disgusted, Björn is dumbstruck, and Halfdan laughs.

Season 6

Episode 20 – The Last Act

• Even in his dreams, Floki is still being asked by Ragnar to make another boat.

Other

Other

• The Mary Sue's visual recaps of Season 2. Comprising stills from the episodes, it has become so popular it's migrated to other shows too. Running Gags include Ragnar and the baby goat, the shield that looks like a pokeball, Batman's Dad and what Siggy thinks about her situation.
  • Episode 1, Brother's War: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-season-two-premiere-recap/#0
  • Episode 2, Invasion: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-s2e2-picture-recap-invasion/#0
  • Episode 3, Treachery: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-visual-recap-s02e03-treachery/#0
  • Episode 4, Eye for an Eye: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-visual-recap-s2e4-eye-for-an-eye/#0
  • Episode 6, Unforgiven: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-visual-recap-unforgiven/#0
  • Episode 7, Blood Eagle: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-visual-recap-blood-eagle/#0
  • Episode 8, Boneless: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-visual-recap-s02e08-boneless/#0
  • Episode 9, The Choice: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-recap-the-choice-s2e09/#0
  • Episode 10, The Lord's Prayer: http://www.themarysue.com/vikings-visual-recap-the-lords-prayer-season-finale/#0
• The Tiny Viking blog is so popular that Athelstan's official team is called "Team Tiny Viking": http://thetinyviking.tumblr.com/

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