Funny / Tobuscus

To keep this page organized, the entries are divided by which channel/series they are from.

Tobuscus channel (Literal Trailers)

• TRON: Legacy:
  Walking, walking, walking, walking, cut....
  JEFF BRIDGES!
• Shark Night:
  It's Friday, Friday
  Gotta get killed on Friday!
  (last scene)Hot... Hot...
  MURDER MURDER MURDER!
• World of Warcraft:
  Then he tries to scare the statues
  Does it work? Yes, one of them faints!
• Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood:
  Guard says stop / Just kill him with your awesome
  (later)Now act like you didn't do it / They're not buying it
  (later) He's like "shoot me" / He likes feathers / He looks up when / He remembers "ohh I LOVE birds!"
  (later)Kill the rider the rider falls down / Target's still fine
  (later still) Target pulls out his sword then goes to smell his sword / ...Not sure why
• Assassin's Creed: Revelations:
  I am the first X-Man / That joke's ahead of our time / But you're still gonna die/ Who the hell is that guy?/ The second X-Man
• Modern Warfare 3:
  That truck driver really hates his job
  That truck driver also hates his job
  All the drivers and
  all the cameramen hate their jobs
  • And:
    Watch out you're going to hit the flag STOP!
• Skyrim
  Slow zoom on a carving of GANDALF and his friends
  Confused dragon trying to mate with some birds
  The, first, TIE Fighter
  • And:
    VOICE ATTACK! but his voice went too far right
• Mass Effect 3
  If this is all in her imagination her parents are awesome... *Reaper shoots a ship out of the sky* ...and messed up.
  Laser beams of death make EXPLOSIONS OF DEATH
  Zombies with LED bellies give out shoulder massage of death. On the bright side, they're free... But on the bad side, they're deadly...

• Bioshock Infinite
  Slow-motion lasts until you look down, so don't look down... don't look down, DON'T LOOK DOWN! You're lucky there's a blimp! GRAB IT!
• Dead Island 2
  Someone call Scooby-Doo
  How is that relevant?
  Why don't you ask him yourself?
  • Almost any line regarding the "Picture Perfect Fitness Guy". Including the chorus ("Imma jog right until I throw up!").

Tobuscus channel (other)

• "Nugget in a Biscuit". That is all.
• The long-promised "Safety Torch" song, about Toby rescuing some poor kid from imaginary Minecraft monsters by giving him, first, torches to keep them away; second, water to put out the resulting fires; and finally, charging him for them.
• I'M A BIRD, MOTHER[bleep]! I'M A BIRD!
• Grandpa-Tobuscus discovering the Internet;
  "I'm sleepy... whats porn? I'M AWAKE!"
  "Penis enlargement? CAROL, get the chequebook!"
• "Dramatic Song" is designed as a style parody of Coldplay: the gag is that the lyrics are completely mundane but if you listened to it without understanding English, you'd think it was serious and poignant.
  You'd probably think I'm singing
  bout some pretty serious stuff.
  But in reality, I'm singing 'bout
  the lack of stuff I'm singing 'bout.
• "Mini Minotaur".
  Tim-Tim: Stop singing songs about me! You're ruining my life!
• While Toby was at Comic-Con 2013, he spots a guy cosplaying as Ezio so he goes to him and starts singing part of his Assassin's Creed literal trailer. This is the resulting conversation when "Ezio" just keeps staring at Toby:
  Toby: You don't know who I am?
  "Ezio": Uh, no.
  Toby: *bursts out laughing*
• The Christmas Creed song, a parody of "With Arms Wide Open" where Tobuscus laments in despair that someone came in and opened all his Christmas presents.
  • The subtitles also spell everything the way he's pronouncing it rather than the way it's actually spelled, leading to things like "presents" spelled "prayerzones".

TobyTurner channel (Lazy Vlogs)

• His Vlog for International Talk Like a Pirate Day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLe4m5k5kD4
• "I Killed Someone" by reading their letter on his vlog. That is so tragic. But funny.
  • He's killed another person! It's at about 2:50 in the video.
  • He does it again at the beginning of this video.
• "FREESTYLE TOBY DANCE OFF!!"- Toby uses the "Just Create" feature on Just Dance 3 to create the most ridiculous dance he possibly can, then has Gaybuscus/Gabe-buscus try to do said dance. (here)
  Toby: Shoulder spins... and I'm punching myself in the crotch.
• While Toby is vlogging on his iPhone, VanessaHudgens is seen petting his dog Griffin without Toby noticing. His reaction to finding out he missed Vanessa is priceless.
• Any time Toby records a vlog on a rollercoaster, things quickly get hilarious.
  • The third one also includes a separate POV from iJustine, wherein the audience hears Toby more than Justine.

TobyGames channel

• As a few users have pointed out, watching Toby Games becomes ten times funnier when you pretend his commentary is the thoughts of the main character (especially funny with things like L.A. Noire).
  • Ten times funnier now that he's playing Arkham City. Imagine the incredibly stoic Batman thinking the way Toby speaks. In part 3, he threatens to take Two-Face's coin and pee on it.
• One part of his L.A. Noire playthrough, where he's honking the horn as he's driving to his destination, then when he gets there (in the middle of a horn beep) a cutscene starts, leaving the horn blaring for the entire cutscene.
  • Also from L.A. Noire, he's spotted by a suspect that he's tailing, but they didn't flash him. He wonders out loud a few times how they could have possibly noticed him, right before crashing through two newspaper stands on the sidewalk and then ramming into their car.
  • At some other point, he was interrogating the husband of a Homicide victim. For a long while, he was stumped at whether the husband was lying or telling the truth. Just when he's decided that he was being honest, the husband asks "Can I see my kids now?" At which point Toby immediately chooses "Lie." He was even correct!
    Toby: LIAR!!
• Toby's LP of Skyrim is a nonstop round of hilarity, especially when he actually gets terrified at the skills menu. "I don't want to navigate the galaxy to level up!"
• Skyrim first video, when he names his character, and the followup joke: "Bilbo Baggins.(erase) Tobuscus(Beat) Baggins.(erase)Just Tobuscus"
• Toby improvs a song about a cheating sugar cane daddy in Minecraft: here. Seriously.
• "I CAN SWING MY SWORD!(SWORD) I CAN SWING MY SWORD!(SWORD)"
  • Now animated and metalfied!
• Toby's reaction to a ghast:
  HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
  • He then proceeds to imitate the noise they make and compliment them on their "lovely voice."
• Similar to the above example, his first encounter with a creeper.
  ''*talking about zombies* and by sick, I mean infected, with your- *sees the creeper for the first time* OH NO! You are UGLY! *explodes* OH MY GOD!
• Toby/The Courier's thought near the end of part 41.
  Guard: I've got my eye on you.
  Toby: You have two eyes. Idiot.
• Assassin's Creed: Revelations, episode 1, in which Toby encounters the opening titles, and goes Overly Long Gag on the Overly Long Gag.
  Toby: Ubisoft presents... a game by Ubisoft. And Ubisoft. And also Ubisoft...
• Toby dug a hole to hell beside his house in Terraria. A ridiculous amount of bunnies proceed to commit suicide by jumping into the hole, and Toby nearly has a mental breakdown over it (when he's not hitting on Nurse): [1]
• Also in Terraria, Toby has a Bone Serpent follow him to the surface because he wants to keep it as a pet.' [2]
• In one of the "Kingdombuscus" Minecraft videos, Toby pushes a blacksmith into a fire after learning that a diamond pickaxe costs 2,400 gold coins. He and a few of the guild members just stand and watch as the blacksmith burns to death and almost right after Toby changes his mind and tries to save him, the blacksmith dies.
• Parts 31, 32, and 33 of his Minecraft videos are a textbook example of From Bad to Worse. In Part 31, Toby drowns in the water near his house when he forgets to surface for air. Then, because his bed was obstructed, he doesn't respawn in his house and has to find where he died, a problem made worse due to his No Sense of Direction. In Part 32, Toby is forced to turn the game to peaceful mode as he dives for his items, almost drowning again in the process. Having spent half the video looking for his items, he goes off to bed... and dies because it was obstructed, losing his items and being teleported away from his house again. Part 33 is entirely comprised of him trying to find his house.
• Crysis 2: "You, with the life. Lose it."
• This fan-made video of one of Toby's stranger Minecraft ramblings, in which a little zombie asks for brains for Christmas, then Santa gets into an argument with the zombie's mother.
• In "Worldbuscus 1.2", a situation very similar to Part 31 plays out. Toby attempts to build a drawbridge for Fortbuscus...while underwater and covered in ice. He drowns. And then he ends up back at his original spawn point, from which he always has trouble finding his house. AND THEN HE GETS THE "SAVING CHUNKS" SCREEN.
• CHUNKS SAVING has Toby dying twice in the first 3 minutes while recollecting his items.
• In his recent Zelda playthrough, Toby gives the guy who teaches you how to target things his Grandpabuscus voice.
• In his Minecraft Let'sPlay, Tobuscus falls victim to the ever-classic Enderman Roommate. This goes as well as you'd expect, with Toby LOOKING AT IT upon waking up from a nap. Eventually, it teleports into the lake surrounding his house, and as we all know, Endermen can't swim. Cue Toby mourning his death for five seconds.
• In SNEAKY CREEPER a creeper jumped onto Toby's treasure chest when he was around the corner and couldn't see it. He freaked out when he did.
• In the 200th Minecraft video spectacular, Toby is blindsided by a zombie breaking down his door.
• SURPRISE ENDING has a zombie pushing Toby into the lava at the end. He goes through his usual subscribe speech in a state of utter, hilarious despair.
  • The followup video, SURVIVAL MODE, continues the freakout.
  • After trying to regain some basic stuff for a moment Toby jumps into a small hole in the desert and decides to bury himself in it. He fails.
  Toby: Oh, good, I don't even have enough freakin' sand to bury myself!

• HOW TO DROWN has the titular incident. Toby digs up out of a cavern to the watery surface...and it's covered in ice.
  • Also Turtbuscusle's death, though it's also sad.
• The Diamond Mining Song, made better by his reaction to finding the diamonds at the beginning.
• Toby discovers that you can't sleep in the Aether.
• In the fourth part of his walkthrough of The Walking Dead...
  Lee: NO! You don't touch that boy, you don't touch ANYBODY!
  Toby: (as Lee continues his speech) YOU UGLY AND YO EYES ARE UGLY-LOOKING TOO! LOOK AT YO UGLY EYES, YO LIPS ARE TOO BIG! YOU GOT A BIG CHIN!
• During the major early plot twist in Assassin's Creed III where Haytham welcomes Charles Lee into "the fold" which actually are the Templars, Toby's only thought is "How did that drunk guy (Thomas Hickey) get into the fold?"
  • Also, a little later, when little Ratonhaké:ton is introduced, which goes from him playing a game of hide-and-seek, to getting knocked out by Templars, then finding out his village is on fire and watching his mother die. Toby's response?
  "That's the worst Hide-and-Seek game I've ever played!"
• In Kingdombuscus, his constant failure to realize that he's the king of the castle he keeps breaking.
  • When Kingdombuscus is under attack, he encounters a destroyed village with people with no mouths and bunnies. Naturally, this gives us the immortal line: "Losing one's mouth is the first step to becoming a bunny!"
• His Limbo playthrough becomes absolute hilarity at the Spider Boss. He dies once, and walks back confident, figuring that he's got this.
  Toby: Clearly, what I was supposed to do is- (spider boss stabs him through the face)
• Watching Tobuscus play surgeon simulator and spilling everything on the floor.
  Toby: (with a Russian accent) Mr. Johnson, did you have plans this weekend?
• In the "DEAD SPACE" episode of Toby playing Happy Wheels, he starts off with a level about the moped couple splitting up and getting back together in the end. He plays through the whole level, going between the two characters as they help each other through, and makes it to the end...only for the woman's head to pop off when she hits the ground wrong. The crudely drawn heart in between the two while Tobuscus freaks out and she bleeds all over the man sells it.
  • Also his death montage in the "SPIDERMAN" video.
  • It's a blink and you miss it gag, but: Zomb-angelists.
    Toby: AND THE LORD SAID: EAT THEIR BRAINS.
• In the Minecraft episode "Skydiving", Toby freaks out when he's consumed by a cloud.
• In an episode of Minecraft, Toby discovered a volcano in one of his mods and gave the lava a Scottish voice. He decides to take some of that lava back to Fortbuscus and build a beacon nearby where he can dump the lava. When he builds up the beacon, he dumps it and pretends that Scottish lava is in pain... only to realize a second too late as he's destroying the beacon to descend it that he's in the way of the lava's fall, leading to him getting killed and losing some of his items at the end of the episode.
  Scottish Lava: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
  • And before that episode, Toby discovers that his world has trouble loading chunks (particularly about half of the volcano) and mistakes it for some sort of Fringe event. He decides to mine down to see what's going on and "leans" on the edge of the error, only for there to be invisible lava right where he leaned, causing him to panic and run back up. The fire stops short of one or two hearts.
• Toby's Filk Song of "Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel from his playthrough of The Evil Within 2.
  Toby:: Hello, darkness my old friend.
  I've come to run through you again.
  (a house appears in the distance) There's a house in the distance... (house explodes) exploding.
  Lily: Daddy, help!
  Toby: There's a little girl in there dying.
  And now she's gone, and it's dark on the horizon.
  And once again, there's no sound... (screen is filled with light) in whiteness.

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