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Funny: The Thing (1982)

  • Palmer's reaction to the Spider-Head.
    ...you gotta be fucking kidding.
    • It's gets even funnier when it's revealed that Palmer was already an alien when he said that.
    • Hell, Palmer in general.
  • Upon hearing the plan to go check out the Norwegian Camp, Palmer, joint still in hand, offers to take them there. Garry dismisses this offer immediately.
  • Garry, after the blood test.
    I know you gentlemen have been through a lot. But if it's not too much trouble, I'd rather not spend the rest of the winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!
  • Clark's description of the otherwise horrifying Dog-Thing:
    I don't know what's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is!
  • Childs, on multiple occasions.
    I don't believe any of this voodoo bullshit!
    Cut me loose! Cut me loose dammit, cut me loose!
  • When MacReady checks up on Blair, he already has a noose with which to hang himself.
  • For some: (just before MacReady dynamites the Blair-Thing) "Yeah? Well FUCK YOU TOO!!"
  • MacReady pouring his booze into the computer's circuits after losing a round of chess against it.
    Cheating bitch.
    • If you look at the screen and then listen to the move that the computer made, you'll realize the computer's move actually would have let Mac Ready win, but the computer claims the victory anyway. The computer really was cheating!
  • The whole exchange between Nauls and an irate Bennings.
    Bennings; Nauls, would you turn that crap down? I'm trying to get some sleep! I was shot today!
    Nauls: What? Oh, sure! (reaches over to turn the music down and dismissively pulls his hand back at the last second)
  • One from the commentary, during which Carpenter is describing the scene where Mac and Norris find the spaceship, and Carpenter gets distracted by Mac's Nice Hat.
    John Carpenter: Now Charlie Hallahan is going to describe how long this saucer has been in the ice here, and that the backscatter effect has been uh...uh...melting it down. Great hat, Kurt.
    Kurt Russel: That kinda commands the scene, doesn't it?