- It's a small one that quickly leads into a tear jerker, but when Stu starts crying with Dil, Didi pulls out a pacifier...and shoves it into Stu's mouth.
- Lil and Phil decide to take Dil back to the "hopsicle" (hospital) for Tommy, but Chuckie thinks it's a bad idea. Then Tommy walks in.
Lil: We're taking Dil back to the hopsicle, Tommy. We're gonna get your moneys back.
Tommy: What?! You can't do that! My mommy and daddy wanna keep him!
Chuckie: [to the twins] See? See?
Phil: Why? All he does is cry and poop.
Tommy: So do you!
Phil: I don't cry that much.
Tommy: Well, you poop an awful lot.
Phil: Oh, look who's talking, Mr. Chocolate Pants!
Tommy: I am NOT a poopie monster!
- At the beginning where Stu demonstrates the Reptar wagon to Drew...and the wagon spits fire!
- Stu speeding his car just narrowly missing the kids jumping inside the mattress truck right in front of him, before he inadvertently causes the truck to swerve and crash through the guard rail and plunge into the forest.
- Then When Stu and Grandpa are at the control tower to see if the Kids are in the plane where the crate is, only to find out the goat is there instead. The pilot and crew has opened up every package and crate on board, finding nothing unusual—except for the goat that was accidentally shipped instead of the Reptar Wagon.
Pilot: I turned this plane upside down and I assure you, there are no children. We found a kid, but he's not the one you're looking for.
[Cue to Stu & Grandpa at the control listening as the goat bleats on the other side of the radio]
- Then Stu & Grandpa resume their search at home
: [looking in the closet
]: Tommy! Grandpa
: [looking under the bed
] Sprouts? Stu
: [looking down the basement
] Dil! Grandpa
: [searching in a cookie jar
] Angelica? Stu
: [searching under the kitchen sink
] Where can they be? We gotta find them! Didi
] Find what?
[Stu bangs his head under the kitchen sink
: Einstein here lost the kids. Stu
lost the kids? Grandpa
[Didi gasps and drops her grocery bag, sending all products rolling on the floor
- Angelica singing "One Way or Another", trying to find Cynthia. It's hilariously hammy of her.
- This hilarious exchange between Stu, Angelica, and Drew
: Hi, Uncle Stu. Sorry to hear your pony's so slow. Stu
: Uh, but we don't have a pony, Angelica. Angelica
: (to Drew
) Then how come you told Mommy that Aunt Didi got saddled with a loser? Stu
: "Loser?" Drew
) He-He... I-I...
(Dil's crying is heard from upstairs
: Excuse me, bro. My tax deductions are CRYING!
(Stu slams the door; Drew opens it again and puts Angelica's things inside
: YOU CAN'T DEDUCT THEM IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INCOME!
(Drew slams the door
- Drew tackling Stu after he finds out he lost the kids.
Stu: YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!
Drew: ONLY 'CAUSE I CAN'T REACH YOUR NECK!
- Everything with the forest rangers Margaret & Frank (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg & David Spade respectively)
- First while the two are driving in their jeep down the forest road;
Ranger Frank: I'm sure you've run afoul of many a scary pedestrian. But out here, we have what you might call...how should I put it? Actual danger.
Ranger Margaret: Danger?
Ranger Frank: Grizzlies that'll rip the top off your car. Bobcats, wolves, wolverines, which are something entirely different.
(Just then, the Reptar Wagon crosses the road in back of them. Margaret turned around and caught a glimpse of it)
Ranger Margaret: And dragons. Aah!
- Later when the Rangers arrive at their station...
: I'm telling you, I saw a dragon. Ranger Frank
: Margaret. Ranger Margaret
: A big green, fire-breathing dragon. I've gotta call headquarters! (rushes to the phone
) Ranger Frank
: While you're at it, you might ask for a new assignment. Say, a city park. 'Cause, you see, out here in the country, you have to be just a little tougher.
[Frank sees the Reptar Wagon in his telescope. The wagon floats with the current in the river
] Ranger Frank
: AAAH!! THE DRAGON! I JUST SAW IT! I SAW IT! Ranger Margaret
: Where? Where? (looks through the telescope, but the wagon is nowhere to be seen
) Here? Where?
- Later when the adults arrive at the ranger station and discuss the situation, the male ranger is too delirious and hysterical to be of any use.
Ranger Frank: I know you rookies can get excited and lose your heads, but veterans like me know the key is to remain calm, cool and collected.
(the adults enter; panicking; Frank falls from his chair)
Didi: Please! Our kids are lost in the storm! You've got to help us!
Ranger Frank (delirious) : There's dragons out there! I'm a park ranger! Not a Knight at a Round Table! GO FIND SOMEONE WITH A LANCE!
Ranger Margaret: Never mind him. Come with me. (Margaret leaves with the adults, leaving Frank alone, whimpering and sobbing hysterically)
- The scene with the Circus Masters Igor & Serge is pretty funny.
Igor: Serge, you stay here and watch monkeys. I get us coffee.
Serge: No, Igor. You stay and watch monkeys and I get us coffee.
(Cut to interior at an ice cream parlor, where both men are enjoying their coffee. Their train is in view through a window as monkeys climb out and on top of the train.)
Serge: I think coffee is better in St. Petersburg.
Igor: Nyet, it is better in Kiev.
Serge: No, it's better in St. Petersburg.
Igor: NOTHING is better in St. Petersburg!
(While the men argue over coffee, the train begins to move)
(The men rush out, bumping over tables and other customers. They watch as the train rolls off into the distance)
- Followed by Igor ranting angrily in Russian before throwing his hat to the ground and stomping on it
- When Rex Pester displays the photos of the missing babies getting all their names wrong
: And there you have it! Two sour Pickles...
and [displays photos
]: Young Tammy, Baby Dale, the twins Bill & Jill, Little Chunky, and poor Amelia, all vanished without a trace....I'm Rex Pester! And I'll be back with more Big Action News!
- When Angelica realizes Cynthia is missing, she leaves the den only to find...
: Nice try, babies. Now gimme back my...(gasps upon seeing Cynthia's shoe on the welcome mat
(pan out to the Reptar Wagon with Dil still holding Cynthia
- Then Angelica bursts out of the house wearing Sherlock Holmes outfit and "enlists" Spike to help her track the babies down. He then sprints away, pulling Angelica in tow by his leash.
Angelica: They took Cynthia, Spike! C'mon! You're gonna be my butt-hound! We gotta search every doghouse, playhouse, tree house and doll house! I want those foogitives back in custardy! (Spike runs off, pulling Angelica in tow by his leash) WHOA! Bad dog! Bad dog! STOP!
- Spike is still towing Angelica across the road. They approach the scene of the mattress truck's crash, complete with tow truck and flares. Spike finds Dil's pacifier on the ground and stops. But Angelica keeps going, and Spike is tugged along on his leash as he and Angelica fall into a ditch in the forest. Angelica is screaming with her landing square on a trunk of a tree, knocking her unconscious. We fade out, then fade back in again once Angelica comes to. As soon as her vision clears, the first thing she sees is Spike, holding her detective hat.
- When Angelica gets on the Reptar Wagon and as they approach a bridge
Angelica: After all I've done for you babies, you were gonna leave me and Cynthia—[wagon's wheel hits missing board on bridge, catapulting Angelica into the air] BEH-I-I-I-INNND!!!.
Phil: I didn't know she could fly.
Lil: I think it's 'cause she's a witch.
- The scene after the credits... just...the scene after the credits.
- This gem from Grandpa Boris as Didi is being checked into the hospital, where Didi is being shown a bunch of specialty birthing rooms.
Boris: In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.
The doctors then show they have a birthing room done up to repeat that exact experience.