- It's a small one that quickly leads into a tear jerker, but when Stu starts crying with Dil, Didi pulls out a pacifier...and shoves it into Stu's mouth.
- At the beginning where Stu demonstrates the Reptar wagon to Drew...and the wagon spits fire!
Grandpa Lou: Conflabbit! Can't a man work in his own basement without gettin' barbecued?!
Stu: Okay. So, maybe real fire isn't the best idea for a children's toy.
(Drew's shirt is smoldering, Stu quickly extinguishes him)
- Stu speeding his car just narrowly missing the kids jumping inside the mattress truck in front of him, before he inadvertently causes the truck to swerve and roll of the road into the forest.
Pilot: I turned this plane upside down and I assure you, there are no children. We found a kid, but he's not the one you're looking for.
- Then When Stu and Grandpa are at the control tower to see if the Kids are in the plane where the crate is, only to find out the goat is there instead. The pilot has unpacked every luggage, finding nothing unusual except for the Goat that was accidentally shipped instead of the Reptar Wagon
[Cue to Stu & Grandpa at the control listening as the goat bleats on the other side of the radio]
Stu: [looking in the closet]: Tommy!
- Then Stu & Grandpa resume their search at home
Grandpa: [looking under the bed] Sprout?
Stu [looking down the basement] Dil!
Grandpa; [searching in a cookie jar]] Angelica?
Stu [searching under the kitchen sink] Where can they be? We gotta find them!
Didi: [entering] Find what?
[Stu bangs his head under the kitchen sink]
Grandpa: Einstein here lost the kids.
Stu: I lost the kids?
[Didi gasps and drops her grocery bag, sending all products rolling on the floor]
- Angelica singing "One Way or Another", trying to find Cynthia. It's hilariously hammy of her.
- This hilarious exchange between Stu, Angelica, and Drew
Angelica: Hi, Uncle Stu. Sorry to hear your pony's so slow.
Stu: Uh, but we don't have a pony Angelica
Angelica (to Drew): Then how come you told Mommy that Aunt Didi got saddled with a loser?
(Drew gasps; Stu glares at him)
Drew: (nervously) He-He.. I-I...
(Dil's crying is heard from upstairs)
Stu: Excuse me, bro. My tax deductions are...CRYING!]
(Stu slams the door; Drew opens it again and puts Angelica's things inside)
Drew: YOU CAN'T DEDUCT THEM IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INCOME!
(Drew slams the door)
- Drew tackling Stu after he finds out he lost the kids.
Stu: YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!Drew: ONLY 'CAUSE I CAN'T REACH YOUR NECK!
- Everything with the forest rangers Margaret & Frank (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg & David Spade respectively)
Ranger Frank: I'm sure you've run afoul of many a scary pedestrian. But out here, we have what you might call...how should I put it? Actual danger.
- First while the two are driving in their jeep down the forest road;
Ranger Margaret: Danger?
Ranger Frank: Grizzlies that'll rip the top off your car. Bobcats, wolves, wolverines, which are something entirely different
(''the Reptar Wagon crosses the road in back of them. Margaret turned around and caught a glimpse of the Reptar Wagon)
Ranger Margaret: And dragons. Aah!
Ranger Margaret: I'm telling you, I saw a dragon.
- Later when they arrive at their station
Ranger Frank: Margaret.
Ranger Margaret: A big green, fire-breathing dragon. I've gotta call headquarters (rushes to the phone).
Ranger Frank: While you're at it, you might ask for a new assignment. Say, a city park. 'Cause, you see, out here in the country, you have to be just a little tougher.
[Frank sees the Reptar Wagon in his telescope. The wagon floats with the current in the river]
Ranger Frank: AAAH!! THE DRAGON! I JUST SAW IT! I SAW IT!
Ranger Margaret: Where where? (looks through the telescope) Here? Where?
Ranger Frank: I know you rookies can get excited and lose your heads, but veterans like me know the key is to remain calm, cool and collected.
- Later when the adults arrive at the ranger station and discuss the situation, the male ranger is too delirious and hysterical to be of any use.
(the adults enter; panicking; Frank falls from his chair)
Didi: Please! Our kids are lost in the storm! You've got to help us!
Ranger Frank (delirious) : There's dragons out there! I'm a park ranger! Not a Knight at a Round Table! GO FIND SOMEONE WITH A LANCE!
Ranger Margaret: Never mind him. Come with me. (Margaret leaves with the adults, leaving Frank alone, whimpering and sobbing hysterically)
- The scene with the Circus Masters Igor & Serge is pretty funny.
Igor: Serge, you stay here and watch monkeys. I get us coffee.Serge: No, Igor. You stay and watch monkeys and I get us coffee.Igor: Nyet! Monkeys watch you! I GET COFFEE!!(Cut to interior at an ice cream parlor, where both men are enjoying their coffee. Their train is in view through a window as monkeys climb out and on top of the train.)Serge: I think coffee is better in St. Petersburg.Igor: Nyet, it is better in Kiev.Serge: No, it's better in St. Petersburg.Igor: NOTHING is better in St. Petersburg!While the men argue over coffee, the train begins to move'(The men rush out, bumping over tables and other customers. They watch as the train rolls off into the distance)
- Followed by Igor ranting angrily in Russian before throwing his hat to the ground and stomping on it
- When Rex Pester displays the photos of the missing babies getting all their names wrong
Rex Pester: And there you have it! Two sour Pickles... and [displays photos]: Young Tammy, Baby Dale, the twins Bill & Jill, Little Chunky, and poor Amelia, all vanished without a trace....I'm Rex Pester! And I'll be back with more Big Action News!
- When Angelica realizes Cynthia is missing, she leaves the den only to find...
Angelica: Nice try, babies. Now gimme back my...
(gasps upon seeing Cynthia's shoe on the welcome mat)
(pan out to the Reptar Wagon with Dil still holding Cynthia)
- When Angelica gets on the Reptar Wagon and as they approach a bridge
Angelica: After all I've done for you babies, you were gonna leave me and Cynthia—
[wagon's wheel hits missing board on bridge, catapulting Angelica into the air] BEH-I-I-I-INNND!!!.
Phil: I didn't know she could fly.
Lil: I think it's cause she's a witch.
- The scene after the credits... just...the scene after the credits.