Funny / The Elenium

  • This classic exchange:
    Anybody: "Whose turn is it to cook?"
    Sir Ulath: "Yours."
    • Turns into a nice little Brick Joke when the rest finally catch on, and decide to quietly leave Ulath to do the cooking from then on.
    • And becomes a Brick Joke yet again in the Tamuli when Kalten, distracted over a personal matter, asks Ulath whose turn it is to cook. Ulath gives the usual answer, and Tynian chides Kalten for forgetting.
  • Berit, in his attempts to impress Dolmant, offers to teach history and manners to Talen. When Talen becomes offended, Berit backhands him out of a saddle, disarms him, and kicks him to the ground. All without losing the smirk on his face.
  • The whole part about Sparhawk and Kurik attempting to break into the house.
    • Especially the naked woman on the roof.
    • And the bit where Kurik comes back and, not sure who he's found, whispers to Sparhawk, "Is that you?" Sparhawk is tempted to hoarsely whisper, "No."
  • Sephrenia's reaction to learning that the phrase "little mother" was used by the entire Pandion order as a nickname for her and as a password.
    Sephrenia: "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
    Sparhawk: "We all thought you knew."
  • Lillias' Large Ham moment, now with Gag Boobs included.
  • One word: RamshornContext 
  • On a related note, Ulesim-Most-Favored-Disciple-of-Holy-Arasham, and the manner of his death.
  • Avin Wargunsson's death and funeral. He's killed by being drowned in a barrel of wine; once he's discovered and removed from the barrel, his entire body is stained- in essence, he was dyed purple. Nobody at the funeral could keep a straight face at the sight.
    • Nor could any of the Knights (or Patriarch Bergsten) when they got word of it.
  • Bevier going undercover in Scarpa's army. He studied as an actor, so he naturally plays a part. Unfortunately, as the narration notes: 'His intent was obviously to appear dangerously competent. Instead, he was achieving the appearance of a homicidal maniac.'
  • Upon discovering that the Undead Knights surrounding the castle will do nothing as long as you don't touch the cornerstones they guard, Talen convinces Berit to push one over. Hilarity Ensues as the entire small army of Undead Knights domino over the entire perimeter of the palace.
  • "The other murderers thought Bersola was crazy. Candor compels us to admit they were probably right."
  • A member of the intelligentsia in Tamul is rather insistent that Trolls don't exist. Ulath persuades him otherwise by having the illusion of a Troll he befriended kick in the door and confront the man.
  • In Domes of Fire, Empress Elysoun wears a very special dress to a banquet- a dress which purposely doesn't have a front aside from a cushion of lace, meaning that everyone spends most of the banquet staring at her tits.
  • The Running Gag that starts when Sparhawk tries to find a ship captain willing to take them to Rendor. Using a tired old story, he claims he's a minor noble who went into debt to impress a rich young heiress. When he found she was hideously ugly, he fled, thus trying to hire said captain to get him as far from the heiress as possible, with her cousins in hot pursuit to try to drag him back for marriage. The story gets more and more embellished with each time Spawhawk's team runs into the sailor. Years later in the first book of the Tamuli, they run into said captain once again. When asked what the situation with said heiress is, he mournfully replies that the cousins finally caught up to him and forced him to marry her... then points out his gorgeous wife, Queen Ehlana.
  • Just about everything involved with Sabre /Elron. One of the enemy conspirators, He's just as inept at being the local Folk Hero as he is at being a poet. The first time the protagonists see him, they're not entirely sure the guy's real.
    Sparhawk: The mask fits. I wasn't expecting the rest.
    Stragen: Unless Sparhawk and I are mistaken, your Grace, we're privileged to be in the presence of a living legend. I think that's Sabre, the masked whatever-you-call-it, making his evening rounds.
    Ambassador Oscagne: What on earth is he doing?
    Stragen: I imagine he's out wronging rights, depressing the oppressed and generally making an ass of himself. He looks as if he's having a lot of fun though.