"Let's teach you the seven habits of highly eviscerated people."
"I gave you a chance didn't I? Didn't old Rick try to give you a hand? Well I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped. You're fired."
Shortly before Trager appears, Miles can find one of his "files", written after the disaster that wrecked the asylum and let the Variants lose. He describes his murders as "slimming back personnel" for cost savings, admits to being "new to this whole 'doctor' thing", and confirms that "now I can say with absolute certainty that a person can't live without his kidneys."
After Miles kills Trager by trapping him between floors with an elevator, he writes a sarcastic note if you view the corpse with the camera on how to make "Trager Juice."
"Step one: Squeeze."
In the sewer level, if you go into a certain locker, Chris Walker will check the one next to it, see there's nothing inside, close it.... and open it again. Yes, he checked the same locker twice. Because why not.
Miles: I can't believe Father Martin one-upped Jesus Christ himself in shitty ways to die.
Miles: I know I've said it before, but fuck this place. I've still got those fingers left.
There's a brief moment in the game where Miles just barely misses a jump, causing the floor to collapse, also causing him to drop his camera. As you watch it slip through the floor, Miles feebly lowers his arm, as if thinking "Well, shit."
At one point Miles is being flanked by Those Two Bad Guys so he climbs out the window and shimmies across to escape them. Their incredibly deadpan sarcasm is pretty amusing:
They even point out that Miles must think that they're stupid. Even better, they don't bother reaching out the window to grab him or wait around. It's like they're indulging him like a kid! ... Which is also kind of horrifying, but still.
In a rather Gallows Humor sense, upon pressing the elevator button in the lobby at the beginning of the game, a screaming inmate is dropped from somewhere far above you down the elevator shaft.
In Whistleblower, you hear an inmate banging threateningly behind the door in front of you. Open it up and the inmate stares at you menacingly... before turning around and proceeding to hammer his head on the other door.
And you gotta admit, the way Gluskin in Whistleblower decorated his lair can have these moments. Written on the walls are cutesy little sayings you'd find on a home decor sign ("Welcome Home", "Love makes a house a home", "If mama's not happy, nobody's happy," etc.)… written in his victims' blood.
One room is set up like a design studio, and is filled with mannequins... with the decapitated heads of Gluskin's victims speared atop them.
The childish way the Cannibal shouts "mine!" when he spots you might count.
The Murkoff Soldiers finding "Dr." Trager's corpse, mistaking him for another dead asylum staff member that has been molested.
Soldier 1: What kind of sick fuck would do this to somebody? Even took his damn pants. Soldier 2: Tell you one thing: I've seen enough dick and balls tonight to last me a lifetime. Soldier 3: And not all of them attached to a man. Let's wrap this up and get back to the truck.
This journal entry for its spectacular descriptions:
"I'm already beat all to hell, picking broken glass out of my scalp, couple cracked ribs. Nearly killed by a deformed giant, looks like somebody tried to fuck-start his head with a cheese grater. He throws me through a wall, knocks me unconscious. I wake up and some doughy old man with a face like an alcoholic kiddy fiddler in a homemade priest outfit calls me his Apostle. Not a job I asked for. There are words scrawled in blood everywhere. I'm getting an ugly feeling in my gut that the "Priest" is writing them, and for my benefit."
If you're one for Black Comedy, at one point in Whistleblower, you come across a bunch of inmates playing basketball with a human head. Then once you interrupt them, they're indignant about you interrupting their pickup game.