- From "Cherry Red":
Stan Coffman (to Detective Goren): You know, you're awfully snoopy!Detective Eames: A lot of people point that out.
(Goren is enjoying his time behind the wheel of the cherry-red 1962 Ferrari GTO)Eames: You have to come out now.
- Also from "Cherry Red":
- From "Chinoiserie":
Eames: George Weems. That's what it says on your SAG card. You look familiar.Weems: I played the plump-and-happy raisin in a snack food commercial. Am I in trouble?Eames: You tell us. You checked into a hotel under an assumed name, forged documents were delivered to your room, and an associate of yours is suspected of murdering a woman.(Weems looks shocked)Goren: You don't look so "plump-and-happy" now, George.
- From "The Pardoner's Tale", Goren and Eames are talking to one of Goren's "buddies" while he's working on a car. Eames casually looks under the hood:
Eames: 351 four-barrel. Who are you trying to outrun?Lewis: Whoa. I think I'm in love.
- When Megan Wheeler's water breaks in "Major Case", Wheeler kind of stands there in stunned silence, not really making any noise. Eames walks into the room, notices the puddle on the floor, and calmly asks "What hospital?" As she's leading Wheeler out she glares at Nichols and Ross, rolls her eyes, and groans "Detectives!" as the two men stand around looking completely helpless and pretend nothing's happening.
- Following a brawl between the NYPD and the FDNY, Logan and Wheeler are called into a hearing before the Police Commissioner. Megan paces nervously as you see her paper-thin disciplinary file, with Logan standing around calmly, his own gargantuan file next to Wheeler's.
Logan: Don't tell me you've never had a departmental hearing...!
- Pretty much anytime you see Goren dancing. From forcing a perp to tango with him in Pas de Dux to his little random dance when he pretends to be a mailman in Prisonernote .
- Hell, Robert Goren in general is just a whole package of funny and awesome. From using a forensics guy's head as a ladder to get a better view of the body, to explaining why he thinks "petite woman are a tight fit for small guys" and this little gem.
- In "Best Defense" when Goren starts imitating a Camp Straight witness, while standing next to the man. Somehow, Eames manages to keep a straight face.
- From "In The Wee Small Hours", as Goren and Logan leave, excited to go bust a poker game at one of Frank Sinatra's former hangouts:
Eames (to Barak): There they go, Ocean's Two.
- In "Vanishing Act", Goren and Eames questioned a drunk has been magician who was on the stage when the other magician was found dead during his act. The detectives took the drunk to the drunk tank. When they come back later, they discovered that the drunk disappeared from the drunk tank and the station with a police officer guarding him.
- On one occasion, Goren and Eames are interviewing a prominent mobster — or, to put it more accurately, the mobster's lawyer is answering all the questions while the mobster stares at a corner of the room completely stone-faced, not even deigning to notice their existence. At the end, the two detectives get up to leave — only for Goren to suddenly pop up right next to the mobster's head:
[The mobster jumps, startled, and looks at Goren in astonishment]
Goren: Made you look.
Funny / Law & Order: Criminal Intent
In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. This is when the Squad has a bit of fun. DUN-DUN!