Funny / Kung Pow! Enter the Fist

One of the most slap-happy, lovably stupid movies ever made; of course there's a plethora of notable Funny Moments:

  • The baby Chosen One rolling down a really tall mountain. When he finally rolls to a stop, a passing woman picks him up, says "So cute" and throws him down the mountain again.
    Woman: Bye bye!
  • The effeminate voice on the goon that approaches Chosen One: "Your days are over, mister."
  • The Narrator's speech about two minutes into the movie. Just the way he keeps going on about it.
    I mean, crap, man! Look at that! That's, like, his stomach plug on the ground back there. You don't see that every day. I mean, that doesn't really even seem possible if you think about it — with body organs and cartilage and bones... I mean, I'm no doctor, but that was like one clean chunk!
  • The absurd amount of zoom-ins and zoom-outs at the beginning when Chosen One faces a masked bad guy and his minions. It eventually zooms in on Chosen One's nipple for no reason.
    • At one point, Chosen One does a silly pose during all this.
    • "I need Gopher Chucks!"
    • And for added effect, there's a brief close-up of the gophers being swung around while their high-pitched voices squeal.
  • The karate class's chant: "Our. Sexual. Preferences. Are. Our. Own. Business!"
  • This:
    Wimp Lo: Who's he?
    Man: (mouth moves for a really long time, but no words come out. Finally...) I don't know.
  • This scene:
    Master Tang: He told me that there would be a Chosen One.
    (dreamy flashback)
    Ling's Father: There will be a chosen one. [/flashback]
    Master Tang: Then he told me of its significance...
    (dreamy flashback)
    Ling's Father: It will be significant.[/flashback]
    Master Tang: And then, he killed the dog.
    Ling's Father: Herk, *Massive fart*[/flashback]
    Chosen One: I now officially know TOO much. ...And why are you in bed?
    • "Yes, yes. Play me like a drum."
  • During Chosen One's training, he is seen using a Bowflex. Other highlights: Doing push-ups by blowing the ground (even the narrator is impressed: "I'll have whatever he's smoking!") and doing a ridiculous amount of flips in the air.
  • "Eenie, meenie, miney, mo; I wonder where my glove will go..."
  • The Chosen One's introduction to Ling:
    Master Tang: By the way, my student Ling here will assist you. Be not concerned of her shyness, for it will pass.
    Ling: (smiles shyly at Chosen One)
    Chosen One: (smiles back and gives her a polite nod)
    Ling: (quickly rips open the front of her shirt, flashing her breasts at him, before closing it again)
    Master Tang: There you go!
  • Pretty much everything associated with Wimp Lo.
    Wimp Lo: If you've got an ass, I'll kick it!
    • And Master Tang's reason for keeping Wimp Lo around:
    Master Tang: I must apologize for Wimp Lo. He is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke.
    • "I'm a man too, you know. I go peepee standing up!"
    • "I rock and roll, all day long, sweet Susie!"
    • "Leap that wall, if you're so great!"
    • The entire fight between Wimp Lo and the Chosen One.
    • "Now we'll...learn. WHO'S THE BEST!"
    • Wimp Lo, after he gets kicked in the face: "Ha! Face-to-foot style, how'd ya like it?!"
      • The Chosen One's Deadpan Snarky responses help make that scene:
      "I'm sure on some planet, your style is quite impressive, but your weak link is, this is Earth!"
    • "Oh yeah?! Try my-nuts-to-your-fist style!" *gets knocked to the ground* "Ohoho, ahaha, who's laughing now?!"
    • At the end of the fight: "I'm bleeding. Making me the victor!"
  • The Asian man speaking with a Southern accent.
    Man: (drawl) Chosen One! Master Pain's in town! (...) He's meetin' with the Mayor. Ohhhhhh, 'his is bad.
  • Master Pain tells a joke:
    Master Pain: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? (long pause) ....My ass. (laughs, and everyone joins him. Suddenly...) ENOUGH!
  • "You will now refer to me by the name, Betty!" And everyone just... does. For the rest of the movie.
    • "Easy, we don't want to lose any toes here."
  • The scene where Master Pain Betty shows off his secret skill — the ability to resist Groin Attacks.
    Betty: Towel.
    • Then a scene later, the Chosen One's failure to replicate said ability as he's beaten mercilessly with sticks.
  • This line:
    Ling: Chosen One, I want to help you, but I... I... I... I... I... I...
  • Pretty much any time Ling's dialogue just digresses into her making these high-pitched "WEEE-OOOO-WEEE-OOOH" sounds for no apparent reason. Eventually, she and Master Pain- sorry, Betty, just spend half a minute making wordless noises at each other.
  • Chosen One meets the one-boobed Whoa, and can't take his eyes off it.
    Chosen One: I-I'm sorry?
  • "Ohhhhh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, product placement with Taco Bell."
  • "What's the time?" "Hammer Time!"
  • "At least cover your mouth! We're all going to catch it!"
  • "You'll never make it. Never make it. Never make it. Never make it, never. Don't you see you can't make it?"
  • The chosen one's entire fight with Moon Yuu, the cow.
  • When Chosen One fights Betty for the first time:
    "At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about Iron Claws: THEY HURT LIKE CRAP, MAN!"
    • He really should have listened to that one-boobed chick.
    • This scene is also the genesis of one of Betty's catch phrases: "Shirt ripper!"
    • "When you girls are done kissing, I HAVE SOME ASS-KICKING FOR YOU!"
  • "I'll get the Neosporin. (singing) Neo... BA-DA-DA-DA!... sporin!... BA-DA-DA-DA!"
  • Master Tang rubs the injured Ling's Father's chest:
    Ling's Father: No no, please. I have a wound there!
    Master Tang: Come on, don't spoil everything. This works for both of us, huh?
    • In the very next shot, Ling's Father's body is being hauled away to be buried.
  • When Ling is mourning her father's demise:
    Ling: He was my father my entire life. We were friends, I loved him, and now he's dead. Except for his hair and nails, dead. (quacks)
    • Ling keeps taking off and putting on her kimono.
    Ling: TAKE ME, MAN MEAT!... But I don't want you to think I'm a slut.
  • "You must take your place in the great circle of........ ''stuff''."
    • Behold the two symbols. One, over here. The other... over there.
    • "This, is CNN. C..... N..... N....."
  • "Hey, guys. What's goin' on?" (gets punched)
  • The ventriloquists.
    "We are both ventriloquists and now we're upside down!"
    "I swing a bit more!"
    "I swing a bit less!"
    • "On the life of my dummy, I swear this: I'll never tell you where he is."
  • Betty pretending to be a bird.
    Betty: I'm just a birdie too!
  • I'm a great magician! YOUR CLOTHES ARE RED!
  • "Ohhh...chicken go 'cluck, cluck,' cow go 'moo!' Piggy go 'oink oink,' how about you? Gonna be an animal just like you...lemur go *hiss hiss*, ostrich go, 'Peh!' Koala go *click click click click*..."
    • Betty plays "Baby Got Back" as he beats you up. Just ask Master Tang.
  • One of Betty's goons tailing Ling, to the other goons: "You go that way, I'll go home."
  • "Chosen One!" "I'm coming!" (repeated three times) Very well edited.
  • There's an Intermission in this movie. Really.
    Wimp Lo: MY NIPPLES LOOK LIKE MILK DUDS!
    Chosen One: I've Chosen the large tub!
    Master Tang: I'VE GOT SOME YELLOW LIQUID FOR YOUR POPCORN! And it's non-dairy!
  • During Master Tang's fight with Betty, Betty attacks him with claws prompting him to make a choice.
    Master Tang: Okay, so, here were my options: A, Quickly duck sideways, dodge the claw and take him out with a spinning back-kick. Or B, take the claw in the face, then roll on the ground, and die.
    Takes the claw to the face and rolls over
    Master Tang: Hm, should have gone with A.
  • The scene where the chosen one discovers everyone dead in the woods, particularly the repeating sudden zoom-in on his face.
    • And this:
    Master Tang: (dying) Listen, and listen well. I really like the band *NSYNC. My favorite member is Harpo. I think there's a Harpo; if not, there should be. I will write their next hit, maybe. "A-boom-boom chickie-chickie boom-boom boom-chickie chaka-chaka-choo-choo."
    • "Just because someone rolls over and goes 'ugh' doesn't mean they're dead!"
    • "If you're all alive, then surely Wimp Lo... (flies are heard buzzing off-camera) ...Oh."
  • The Chosen One's sissy meltdown when he can't figure out how to pull off Betty's caps (and the narration that accompanies it.)
    • Ling trying to heal the Chosen One's hands after they're injured in training.
    Ling: Is it better now?
    Chosen One: ... You just broke a thermometer into my hands.
    • The capper to that scene: "You think that's hot? 'Cause I'll SHOW ya hot." She then proceeds to light Chosen One's hands on fire.
    • "You have helped me reach the next level. And here, I thought you were just a sadistic psycho-bitch."
  • Chosen One contemplates how to defeat Betty:
    Chosen One: I could leap like a freak and throw in a back-snapping eel strike.... but he'd have a clear shot at my ribs. I could always pretend I'm a bird... but that would just look stupid, and leave my small, sensitive balls completely exposed. The best approach would be to go for both caps at once. [shows Betty striking Chosen One at his chest] No matter what the tactic, they all have a flaw.
    Ling: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO BEAT HIM NOW!!!
    Chosen One: No matter. I have a plan.
  • "THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS."
  • "Enjoy the Paralyzer! (Betty hits Chosen One's right arm, which becomes useless) Another Paralyzer!" (does the same to the other arm)
  • The "What they were Actually Saying" alternate Audio track, turns it into a straightforward(untranslated) kung fu movie with some guy walking around saying things that don't make sense even in English.(With Exceptions)
    Chosen One: You are the Pie Man. Your pies are known for miles around.
  • There's lip flap and delays to the dialogue throughout the film as part the parody, obviously spoofing poorly-dubbed foreign films, and makes for a good amount of the humor. Even the dog isn't immune to it!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/KungPowEnterTheFist