I mean, crap, man! Look at that! That's, like, his stomach plug on the ground back there. You don't see that every day. I mean, that doesn't really even seem possibleif you think about it — with body organs and cartilage and bones... I mean, I'm no doctor, but that was like one clean chunk!
The absurd amount of zoom-ins and zoom-outs at the beginning when Chosen One faces a masked bad guy and his minions. It eventually zooms in on Chosen One's nipple for no reason.
During Chosen One's training, he is seen using a Bowflex. Other highlights: Doing push-ups by blowing the ground (even the narrator is impressed: "I'll have whatever he's smoking!") and doing a ridiculous amount of flips in the air.
Pretty much everything associated with Wimp Lo.
Wimp Lo: If you've got an ass, I'll kick it!
And Master Tang's reason for keeping Wimp Lo around:
Master Tang: I must apologize for Wimp Lo. He is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke.
"I'm a man too, you know. I go peepee standing up!"
"I rock and roll, all night long, sweet Susie!"
"Leap that wall, if you're so great!"
The entire fight between Wimp Lo and the Chosen One.
"Now we'll...learn. WHO'S THE BEST!"
Wimp Lo, after he gets kicked in the face: "Ha! Face-to-foot style, how'd ya like it?!"
The Chosen One's Deadpan Snarky responses help make that scene:
"I'm sure on some planet, your style is quite impressive, but your weak link is this is Earth!"
"Oh yeah?! Try my-nuts-to-your-fist style!" *gets knocked to the ground* "Ohoho, ahaha, who's laughing now?!"
At the end of the fight: "I'm bleeding. Making me the victor!"
"I'VE GOT SOME YELLOW LIQUID FOR YOUR POPCORN! And it's non-dairy!"
The scene where the chosen one discovers everyone dead in the woods, particularly the repeating sudden zoom-in on his face.
Master Tang: (dying) Listen, and listen well. I really like the band N'Sync. My favorite member is Harpo. I think there's a Harpo; if not, there should be. I will write their next hit, maybe. "A-boom-boom chickie-chickie boom-boom boom-chickie chaka-chaka-choo-choo."
"Just because someone rolls over and goes 'ugh' doesn't mean they're dead!"
The Chosen One's sissy meltdown when he can't figure out how to pull off Betty's caps (and the narration that accompanies it.)
Ling trying to heal the Chosen One's hands after they're injured in training.
Ling: "Is it better now?"
Chosen One: "... You just broke a thermometer over my hands."
The "What they were Actually Saying" alternate Audio track, turns it into a straightforward(untranslated) kung fu movie with some guy walking around saying things that don't make sense even in English.(With Exceptions)
Chosen One: You are the Pie Man. Your pies are known for miles around.
The capper to that scene: "You think that's hot? 'Cause I'll SHOW ya hot." She then proceeds to light Chosen One's hands on fire.