Funny / Kaamelott: Premier Volet

For the series, see here.

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• One of Quarto's Visigoth henchmen jumps in the water after an escaping Arthur... but merely uses his arms to splash about like an idiot, barely even treading water. He's so slow that Arthur has all the time in the world to wait till he reaches the river bank and knock him out with a tree branch.
  Quarto: But... he can't swim?!
  Visigoth #2: Oh no, he can, that's just how he swims.
• Several knights, including Léodagan, have taken refuge in Carmélide, where they tried to take up agriculture... with no success whatsoever. They did so much to the annoyance of Dame Séli, who comments on their "péquenaud" (pejorative French slang for "peasant") looks and rants about them being laughable "resistants".
  • Léodagan wears a ridiculous conical hat, also.
• The Stealth Insults when Dame Fraganan (Léodagan's sister) is visiting the lords of Carmélide.
  Dame Séli: You rarely visit us. Note that we don't complain.
  Dame Fraganan: Visits in Carmélide are like strawberry plants. The more space between them, the better it is.
• At the border between Hispania and Aquitania, we learn Arthur hasn't spoken a word since he was caught. He breaks his silence to yell at the border guard and demands he arrests him and the Bounty Hunter for bringing slaves into the Kingdom of Logres. His and Venec's yelling becomes an Annoying Background Event as the bounty hunter tries to negotiate... and then Venec yells "The Duchess of Aquitania is a whore!" Even Arthur stares at him in Stunned Silence, but it works.
  Alzagar: When he says 'whore', it's in the good sense of the word...
  Border Guard: Book these dipshits.
  Alzagar: Come on, toll keeper, you're seeing well it's provocation...
  Border Guard: Provocation works quite well on me.
• Then Arthur and Venec are brought before the Duke. He cheerfully welcomes them, doesn't treat the insult to the Duchess seriously (which angries her), and even cheerfully asks them which insult they used.
• Later, Arthur is in the bath, angrily telling the duke that he isn't there to oust Lancelot. Then a servant pours perfume in between them, leading to Arthur waiting until she's done to resume ranting.
• Karadoc and Perceval's leadership skills in the Tunnel Network La Résistance is digging. Or complete lack thereof.
  • The reason those two chose to have the resistance dig a tunnel network with tremendous efforts in the first place? They just found the idea cool. No, really.
  • Until Merlin joined them, nobody thought about bringing plans, so the workers dug the tunnels in circles.
  • While Perceval is trying to listen for enemy activity in the tunnels:
    Karadoc: Can you hear anything?
    Perceval: (Suddenly Shouting) THERE'S A GUY WITH A STUPID VOICE WHO JUST ASKED IF I CAN HEAR ANYTHING!
  • Perceval has this gem too when explaining his resistance "tactics":
    Perceval: We put clothes with bright colors on so they think we are venomous.
• The Running Gag of the Burgundians being downright moronic besiegers who can't maneuver their Siege Engines properly, constantly running into each other. That and their colorful jester-like outfits that make them all look like a bunch of clowns.
  Arthur: I didn't train dumbasses... Yeah, I did train dumbasses, but not dumbasses like these.
  • Later, when The Siege begins, we see Léodagan, Séli and Fraganan taking part to it... with their faces covered in warpaints that match the ridiculous colors of the Burgundians.
• The suitors of Karadoc's daughters bragging about their "feats of arms" in La Résistance... which amounts to mild insults against Lancelot's soldiers (which they didn't shout too loudly) and the like. Including shouting their intentions to go to the Resistance, leading to everyone being caught by the Saxons.
• Excalibur (which was put back in the stone) has become a tourist attraction, complete with vendors hawking Excalibur replicas and "miracle healing" salesmen.
• The absolutely incomprehensible game called "Robobrol" Arthur has to win to be allowed access to Excalibur. It seems like Perceval just makes the rules up on the spot. And it can be won... with a mere Groin Attack, courtesy of Guenièvre.
  • Perceval keeps taunting his brother Lamorak about him sucking at this game.
  • Perceval's answer to Karadoc commenting on his brother:
    Perceval: Your brother's an idiot too, doesn't mean we should start an idiot farm.
• Kolaig (the guy on a quest to free Guenièvre and ask for her hand) has a bad case of Complexity Addiction and wants to escalate the tower using the vines like a Knight in Shining Armor would do... despite Arthur making the task easier by neutralizing the guards (which means he can just take the stairs) and crashing through the door. Not only he's very slow, he ends up falling and landing with a *THUD*. In the end, his "quest" was just one big Epic Fail.
  Nessa: I would like to inform madam that madam's suitor has progressed a foot or two towards the bottom.
  • Before that, Arthur and Perceval, who took the stairs, try to break the door. We're treated to a very long shot of thudding noises as the door fails to be broken down in any way. Then Arthur takes over, and it collapses, with Arthur going down for the ride.
• Karadoc (surprise, surprise) nearly screws everything up during the Final Battle by refusing to give the signal to collapse the tunnels, because he doesn't get why he should. Then he does it anyway when his feet get tangled up in the ropes holding the support beams.

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