- After Neil Patrick Harris steals Harold's car.
Harold: Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?Kumar: Ah... yes. Yes, he did.(Beat)Harold: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
- Harold and Kumar get high and walk out the front door of their apartment:
Harold: Hey, we forgot our phones, should we go get them?(Kumar looks back down the hall and sees they are literally thirty feet away from their room)Kumar:...Nah, we've come too far.
- That random fast food worker. "LETS BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!"
- The following:
Kumar: Dad come on I was just-Kumar's Dad: Daddy is not coming on anything!
- Harold and Kumar's encounter with Leann. "So, are you boys gonna fuck me now, or what?"
- "Shotgun anus!"
- When they find the runaway cheetah and take time out of the night for the three of them to get stoned.
- Any of the scenes with Neil Patrick Harris.
NPH: Yeah, I've been craving burgers too. Fur-burgers!
"Hurry! I'm losing wood!"
- Made even funnier by the fact that he's gay in real life.
- Kumar's dream sequence where he imagines dating, having sex with, marrying, and domestically abusing a gigantic bag of marijuana.
- Their scenes with Freakshow. "I heard everything you just said."
- "Bullets! My only weakness! How did you know?"
- When they discover the extreme sports punks' incredibly lame taste in music.
Kumar: Those guys are fucking posers!
- When they run into Neil Patrick Harris at White Castle, he reveals Harold's car is just outside, and says he'll buy them breakfast.
Harold: Do you realize what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?!
NPH: ... Yeah. It was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. [under his breath] Prick.
Harold: What happened to my car?!NPH: I made some love stains in the back...(everybody stares at Neil in awkward silence)NPH: You'll see.
- After giving money for the burgers, NPH also gives $200 for Harold's car.
- While running from Princeton University security, Harold and Kumar notice Cindy Kim's party isn't so lame after all, and they almost wish they'd stayed.
- As Kumar buys weed from the Princeton University, which ends up costing $80.
Kumar: What kind of a hippie are you?Hippie: What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.
- Kumar tells Harold they should take the hang-glider to escape the cops, saying he used to hang-glide with his father. But just when they're about to hang-glide, Kumar tells him he hasn't really hang-glided before. After crash-landing, Harold strangles Kumar.
- The lead extreme sports guy referring to one of the others as "Extreme Sports Guy #1"