Funny / Half-Life 2

Half-Life 2

  • You can derive great fun from throwing things at the officers.
    • Let's see: You've got standard objects like exploding and non-exploding barrels, but there are also things like tires and boxes. And if you're just feeling silly, you can toss paint cans at them!
      • You can also throw toilets at your enemies. You even get an achievement for it.
  • When the teleporter glitches out in "Red Letter Day" and sends you all over City 17, at one point it ports you straight into Breen's office, startling him and making him recognize you. After a few more teleport spots, it briefly drops you back into Breen's office where he's talking to a Combine Advisor on a viewscreen about Freeman suddenly 'porting into his office.
    The first time the player ends up in his office...
    Dr. Breen: *Look up and recoils in surprise* What's the meaning of this? Who are you? How did you get in here?
    The second time...
    Dr. Breen: The man I saw, I'm all but certain it was... *turns to look* ...Gordon Freeman.
  • In a beautiful display of scripted dialogue, shortly before the above teleporter incident, Barney mentions how he doesn't trust it — he still has nightmares about that cat. Alyx tries to ask what he meant, and no one explains it. In fact, they just completely ignore the question and talk right over her. Naturally, she's the first human to ever go through, and she asks about the cat again, very worriedly, as the machine is charging up around her. (Everyone still ignores her.)
  • At one point, a large plug comes loose, causing the teleporter to power down. After Freeman reconnects it, Barney snarks about his MIT education finally paying off.
  • After defeating the giant Antlion Guard in the chapter "Sandtraps", two Vortigaunts are talking in their own language, then stop to apologize to Gordon, saying what they're doing is rude. They then promise to speak English when Gordon is present, unless they wish to insult him. They then immediately resume speaking Vortigese.
  • While almost every other rebel in the game starts gushing about Gordon Freeman on the first sight, there's a particular one in the chapter "Sandtraps" who more or less ignores him, instead grieving over his personal hero named Laszlo, "the finest mind of his generation."
  • Vortigaunts, the somewhat creepy yet incredibly awesome lightning-throwing aliens, apparently speak like stereotypical Southern ministers.
  • Due to programming oversight, if you bring a (friendly) Turret into the teleport room in Entanglement, it will shoot Eli Vance as soon as he emerged from the prisoner pod, dropping him dead for good and stopping the scripted event short. Funny that Alyx would forget to remove her dad's name from the Turret's "enemy list" when she reprogrammed it.
  • After the Combine teleporter explodes as Alyx and Gordon escape Nova Prospekt, they arrive at their destination safely... a week later. Dr. Kleiner is momentarily distracted by the physics questions this malfunction reveals: "Fascinating! We seem to have developed a very slow teleport!"
    • Alyx Face Palms when she realizes that Kleiner has totally forgotten the armed revolution going on outside.
  • The first time you see D.O.G. in action. He gets hit by an APC which seems to take him out... until you see the tank driving backwards down the road with D.O.G. sitting on the hood pounding it with his fists. He then flips the APC over with his feet and tosses it into a group of hapless Combine soldiers.
  • "And if you see Dr. Breen, tell him I said 'Fu-'" *crunch*
    • If you listen carefully, Barney really does say "Fuck you".
  • Throwing a grenade in a sniper nest. If a combine shouting 'Shit!' before ragdolling out doesn't make you at least smile, you might be clinically dead.
  • While most moments involving the G-Man is rightfully terrifying, there is a moment during his ending speech where he walks over to the frozen Alyx and touches her as if he was grabbing a piece of lint off her arm.

Episode One

  • In the beginning of Episode One, Dog suggests getting Alyx and Gordon into the Citadel by tossing a car (with them in it) across a gap into the building.
    Alyx: Well, Gordon, unless you have a better suggestion...he is a robot, he's done the math.
    *Turns to Dog*
    Alyx: You did do the math, right?
    Dog: *Shakes head no*
    • In addition, if you listen to the developer commentary, you'll find out that this joke started because of a glitch in which Dog's head shook back and forth after Alyx mentioned him doing the math. The play testers loved it so much that Valve made it official.
  • In Episode 1, during the section where you need to shine your flashlight on enemies to have Alyx take them out, turn off your flashlight and there's a random chance of Alyx starting to make zombie noises. If you turn it on soon enough, she'll laugh and say "Gotcha."
    • The Oh, Crap! factor of this is somewhat reduced if you have subtitles on, as it comes up as something to the effect of 'makes zombie noise' in Alyx's pink subtitle colour.
  • In Episode 1, there is a moment where you have to crawl up the air ducts and temporarily leave Alyx behind; however, if you go too far down the wrong path you fall through, in the same room where you started from right in front of Alyx.
    "Oh, back so soon?"
  • Half-Life 2: Episode One. Alyx Vance. "Maybe you should hit it with a crowbar just in case." That is all.
    • When you struggle through some underground passage in company of a very witty Vortigaunt. "Ah-h, no pit would be complete without a Freeman climbing out of it."
      • Also note the exploding minecart and flaming zombie torso that fall down the pit as you climb up. There's no accompanying sounds or anything, just random flaming zombie torso falling down the pit at you.
  • Also in Episode One, Kleiner is making a televised announcement and mentions the benefits of removing the reproduction suppression field the Combine had in place.
    "Now would be an excellent time for procreation! That is to say, in layman's terms, you should seriously consider doing your part for the revival of the species."
    Alyx: Uh, is Dr. Kleiner really telling everyone to... get busy?
    • Even funnier is when, in Episode Two's recap of One, they replay Dr. Kleiner saying "Now would be an excellent time for procreation!" while the city's on fire and Combine are running around shooting everyone.
    • Also in Episode Two, this gets a Callback in an incredibly awkward Shipper on Deck moment from Eli.
    Alyx: Yeah, [Gordon and I] make a pretty good team.
    Eli: Yeah well that's good because well... now that the suppression field's down, we all have to do our... *points to Alyx* part.
    Alyx: DAD! *Face Palms*
  • "Go on across, Gordon. She's waiting for ya! You lucky dog you."
  • When Gordon and Alyx first meet the Combine zombies, she remarks "That's like a... a Zombine, right? Zombine, get it? ... ahkay..."

Episode Two

  • In Episode 2, where you have to help Greggs and Sheckley fight off the Antlions, after Alyx is revived by the Vortigunts and Alyx and Gordon are on their way riding up the lift, Greggs yells "Alright Gordon, be adequate!", to which Sheckley asks him what the hell that means. Greggs simply replies, "I don't know, sounds like something the Vortigaunts would say."'
    • Almost everything Griggs says counts as this. "I think we misunderestimated!"
  • When you enter the Victory Mine, you see these little immobile grubs all over. Because you can easily kill them for health globs and there's even an achievement for getting all them, you'll probably try and kill as many as possible. When you reach Griggs and Sheckly's outpost they say the Antlions don't make themselves too much of a problem so long as you don't mess with their grubs. Whoops.
  • In Episode 2, when infiltrating a Combine-occupied warehouse to destroy an autocannon, there's a particularly amusing scene (even noted by the developers) where a fast-zombie torso is being chased Tom-and-Jerry style by a Combine soldier.
  • While Vortigaunts are nothing new to players of the game, the fact that White Forest has Uriah is unique in that he's wearing a lab coat. For some reason the sight of it is just absurd.
    • Which itself is a Call-Back to when you arrive at Black Mesa East in Half-Life 2, and a tour via elevator reveals Vortigaunts preparing meals… while wearing chef hats.
  • Just after entering the White Forest base, you encounter a training session of sorts, where one rebel is attempting to instruct two others in the use of the AR2 i.e. Combine pulse rifle. One guy listening mentions that he's used an AR3 plenty of times (despite the instructor saying there's no such thing), and boasts about killing Hunters with his bare hands, by which point it should be clear that he's lying his ass off. When the instructor mentions sending him out in the field, he refuses claiming he's just a radio operator.
  • One of the supply caches available after getting the car repaired requires the Gordon to drop a grenade down beneath a hinged floor plate while standing on top of it, the resulting explosion flinging him up to a platform to access a switch to unlock the cache. There is a dead body hanging from the rafters, apparently from somebody who's tried that already and didn't get the grenade in the right place.