Funny: Ghost Adventures

  • The Birdcage Theater:
    • Aaron freaking out over a taxidermed bison head.
    • Zak trying to find which Soiled Dove's spirit is trying to communicate with them:
    Zak Is it you? *pans over to one photo* You're very beautiful. *pans over to another photo* Is it you? You're...very pretty. *pans over to another photo* Is it you? You're (beat) ...okay-looking.
    • Zak's eagerness in wanting to see - and hopefully capture on film - the apparition of a naked woman.
  • Moon River Brewery:
    • The literal Cat Scare while the guys were looking for old tunnels originally connected to the location.
  • Poveglia:
    Aaron: Something's out there? Just in case. Machete. I'm gonna fuck something up.
    • Also:
    Zak: Murderers and convicted convicts.
  • Ram's Head Inn:
    Zak: I feel something tingly on my inner thighs.
    Witch: She is inside you.
    Zak: Wh-
  • Rolling Hills Sanitarium:
    Zak: (lying on a patient's bed) Does anyone want to come and cuddle up with me? (beat) If you're female?
  • Eastern State Penitentiary:
    • Zak looks though a book of inmate deaths and sees a rather unusual one: masturbation. No explanation whatsoever, just the one word.
  • At the Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Kentucky.
    Nick: It smells like chili in here.
    Zak: It smells like chili? It smells like death in here, what's wrong with you?
  • The Stanley Hotel while interviewing with a witness, who also happens to be a young girl.
    Zak: We don't do that. ("That" referring to provoking one of the ghosts)
    Bailey Kramer: Well, I do.
    Zak stares at one of the cameras, while Nick and Aaron can be heard laughing offscreen
    Zak: I was just being sarcastic.
    • "You see, the great thing about the Stanley Hotel is that you can just walk around and there's elk just interacting with people. You can walk up and talk to them.... And they talk back..... Not really."
    • "They said that originally this little cubby was an aquarium full of trout, but they emptied it out years ago and now it's just a blank panel. So supposedly you can look in and see the ghosts of the trout that were eaten... *looks into full aquarium full of trout* Uh, I don't know, I don't see anything. Maybe you do."
  • "So he tends to not like men in his room, but strokes the hair of women. I see what he means. If a guy walked into my room, I'd wanna push him out too. But if a girl came into my room... Well... That's a different story."
  • Aaron being mistaken for Sasquatch/Bigfoot in the Fort Chaffee episode.
  • The return to the Goldfield Hotel had the gang running into a Clown Motel. Zak walks in, even though he's afraid of both dolls (which were lined up along two of the walls) and clowns. Hilarity Ensues.
    • The hilarity continues when Zak leaves the hotel and gets into the van, only to find that Nick and Aaron put one of the scariest clown dolls in the driver's seat, resulting in him cursing and falling out of the van.
  • The Valentine's Day episode where Zak and Aaron seemed really into the prospect of having ghost sex. The entire episode kept getting more and more ridiculous until the end, where Zak tells Nick and Aaron that he's spending the night in the room where the ghost woman supposedly has sex with guests and is next seen telling cameras to stay out and bringing flowers in. The next morning, he seemingly confirms that something happened.
  • Hill View Manor:
  • Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum:
    Zak: Whoever gets scared first is goosed.
    (cut to Zak being freaked out 3 times)
    • The boys pretending to be wax figures of themselves in the museum, apparently just for kicks and giggles.
    • The opening with Zak, Nick and Aaron dancing with the showgirls.
  • The Sacramento Tunnels episode had the boys take a break at a salt water taffy store. Five minutes of completely random, funny shenanigans take place, including Aaron trying to shoot film and pick candy at the same time as well as Zak and Aaron fighting over taffy barrels.
    • Don't forget the scene with the tour guide. Wanting to catch up on history, Zak meets up with a tour guide who decides to give a LOT of information on Sacramento. The montage loops over much of the information he relays and is made funnier by Zak's confused look and the shot of Aaron asleep on some steps close by.
    • When the random rainstorm blew Zak's umbrella away, he went into the storm chasing after it.
  • This:
    Zak: What state are we in right now? Where are we?
    Voice: Go check.
    Zak (on voiceover): Was this spirit being a smartass?
    • Best part? His tone didn't change from the Lovecraftian-narrator style that he usually uses in the voiceovers.
  • During investigation of the Ancient Ram Inn, the team has Aaron stand in a room where a child was thrown and leave him there to see if he can get the same reaction. As the other two are leaving:
    Zak: Aaron's safety is priority. *as he's barricading Aaron into the room with a wooden plank against the door*
  • The aftermath of the storm during the Hales Bar Marina and Dam episode. The boys go out after the storm to survey the damage, including a flipped over dock that they had been filming near earlier, when they spot a news crew pulling in on the road below them. Zak, in all his infinite wisdom decides to go meet the news team by jumping a water-filled ditch that has power lines lying dangerously close to it. He barely makes it, slips on some mud and lands on his ass.
  • Yes it's in the interests of trying to debunk a piece of evidence that he's gotten of a pair of boards he's set up falling over, but watching Zak jump up and down like a four year old jumping on the bed was hilarious.
  • Pretty much the entire first ten minutes of the Winchester House episode, including but not limited to:
    • Zak, Nick and Aaron's difficulty in finding their way around the mansion
    • Zak sniffing and pretending to lick the wallpaper like something out of Willy Wonka's candy factory
    • Zak attempting to sing Madonna's "Like A Prayer" discernible reason at all.
    • The boys' antics in the shooting gallery, especially Aaron's apparent eagerness to get his hands on a gun.
  • From Bobby Mackey's.
    Aaron: I'm serious, if you hear me yelling or something, something bad probably happened. Come quick.
    Zak: Alright, alright.
    Nick: [walking away] Demanding little guy, isn't he?
  • In the episode where they investigated Johnny Cash's house, Zak reveals his fear of roaches by flipping out. Aaron torments him by lightly stroking the back of his hair, mimicing a roach's feet. It's all played for laughs.
    • Earlier in the episode Zak, Nick, Aaron, Billy and another member of their tech crew engage a group of Jamaican locals in an impromptu soccer game. It goes pretty much how you would expect, with the GAC getting their asses handed to them and Aaron pulling double duty as the score announcer complete with a vaguely Australian accent.
  • The Whitehead Manor had another Info Dump similar to the one in Sacramento. However, this time the tour guide has also written a book about its history. What makes it so hilarious is that Zak has bought one and is having trouble finding which page they were at.
  • Mizpah Hotel:
    Zak: [being chased down the sidewalk by a couple of kids] Guys...I don't have any candy!
    • Aaron absolutely cannot keep a straight face when Zak repeatedly uses the word shaft in reference to the mines.
    • When Nick says he'll be leaving the area, he catches an EVP of a woman's voice. It's not captioned (presumably so it wouldn't have to be censored) or commented on but it's clear as a bell that she called him an asshole.
    • After Aaron politely asks if the spirit controlling the elevator doors can let him out, it does so, and he awkwardly thanks it.
  • Point Sur Lighthouse:
    • Aaron "speaking" seal, followed by Zak telling him that what he just said was a mating call.
    • Zak and Aaron being...supportive of Nick during his bout of seasickness on their boat trip.
    • Aaron in the wheelhouse of the boat sporting a pipe and a sea captain's hat.
  • Execution Rock Lighthouse:
    • Nick and Zak making fun of Aaron for getting sunscreen in his eyes.
    • The fishing shenanigans before the lockdown.
  • Tor House:
    • The dirty innuendos as the guys attempt to navigate the secret passage to the top of Hawk's Tower.
    • Nick and Aaron singling out Zak as the stranger with a poodle referenced in a Robinson Jeffers poem in which the aforementioned stranger encounters Jeffers' ghost.
  • Fort Horsted:
    • The GAC touring the London Dungeon attraction, particularly Zak being put on trial before a mock 18th Century court for crimes against "God, country and fashion" and being accused of being a "French spy...from Vegas".
  • Sailors' Snug Harbor:
    • Aaron coming across and being freaked out by a bush while walking the grounds alone.
    Bush: clearly not paranormal.
  • Yorktown Hospital:
    • Once the crew arrives, they start poking around looking for the Caretaker. Within a few minutes a donkey comes trotting around the corner and everyone freaks out and runs away.
  • Kentucky Slave House:
    • Zak, Nick and Aaron show up for the lockdown in a hearse, complete with Ghostbusters sound-alike theme music, get the crowd gathered outside pumped up...and then Zak takes a tumble down the stairs leading to the cellar.
  • The National Hotel:
    • Zak forcing Aaron out of the spiritualist shop for making an innuendo-laden remark in place that was "pure".
  • In the Black Moon Manor episode Zak, Nick and Aaron are heading into the local library to do some research on their lockdown location. On their way into the library Zak asks a nearby kid if he's going into read some books. The kid's response? "Yes, but I don't know you."
  • Black Swan Inn:
    • During the relic hunt Aaron holds his metal detector up against a tree and says that it's reading as aluminum.
    • Aaron partnering up with the owner's young son, and Zak and Nick comment on how nice it is that Aaron is around someone his own age. Later Aaron gives the shovel and metal detector to the owner's son and daughter and lets them do the work.
    • Zak and Aaron decide to have a snowball fight...with a horse pie.
  • Tooele Hospital:
    • The entire sequence where the guys are on the slopes, since it turns out Aaron doesn't actually know how to snowboard and instead just rides his board like a surfboard down the mountain and predictably goes off into a ditch. Repeatedly. Not to mention all the shenanigans with the Ski Patrol dealing with these three idiots.