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Funny: Curb Your Enthusiasm
  • Fuck you, you car wash cunt!
    • Boy cock girl cock E I E I O.
  • The big vagina.
  • Marty Funkhouser's joke.
  • Anything Leon says.
    • From the last episode of season 8: "Michael J. Fox bout to be Michael J. fucked up in a minute."
    • The Crossing the Line Twice usage of Fox's Parkinson's for jokes, such as giving Larry a shaken soda to spill over himself.
    Larry: Did you shake up that soda on purpose?!
    Michael: ...Parkinson's.
  • Larry being an ass man.
  • Jeff in a neckbrace: "Larry, you have to tell Susie I was in a car accident!"
  • From "Ski Lift" Larry's response to the Jewish women telling him he has to jump off the broken down ski lift because she can't be with him after sundown is a stare and "What are you fuckin nuts?"
  • From "The Car Pool Lane" every scene with the prostitute Monena.
  • Anytime Susie gets pissed off.
  • From the ending of the "Bare Midriff" the scene where Larry prevents himself from falling to his death by grabbing his secretary's fat belly.
  • Larry talking to his reflection.
  • The following:
    Jeff: What happened to you?
    Larry: I fell in the toilet.
    Jeff: How'd you fall in the toilet?
    Larry: I went to go pee and the seat was up.
    Jeff: What does that have to do with you?
    Larry: I pee sitting down.
    Jeff: You pee sitting down?
    Larry: Yeah. Have you ever tried it?
    Jeff: No!
    Larry: It's more comfortable, when you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up, and you get to read.
    Jeff: What are you reading?
    Larry: I'm reading a lot of stuff.
    Jeff: What stuff?
    Larry: If I pee twenty times during the day I can get through the whole New York Times for god sake.
    Jeff: Twenty times?
    Larry: Yeah. Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe I'm learning something!
    • And later:
    Marty: Why do you pee sitting down?
    Larry: Many reasons.
    Marty: You crap standing up?
  • See if this were yours it would say "fucking douchebag".
  • A Holocaust survivor and a contestant from the TV show Survivor having an argument over who had it rougher.
  • Marty's crazy sister Bam-Bam was full of hilarious non-sequitur's in the one episode that she was in.
  • Marty to Larry: "We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago and I said "Larry, would you like to make a toast and someone said Larry David went home to take a shit."
  • Larry's date having an orgasm from the rattling car seat while Larry rambles obliviously about nuts.
    • Later in that episode, Susie ends up on the same seat...
  • "The Doll"
CSI: NYFunny/Live-Action TVDad's Army

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