Funny / Borderlands

Moment pages are Spoilers Off by default, so all spoilers have been removed and all entries folderized. Proceed with caution. You Have Been Warned.

You may not like yourself for it, but you will laugh at Borderlands.

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Main game

• During the intro, if one looks closely at Mordecai when Marcus is making fun of the player characters, you can see him silently giving Marcus the finger.
• Fyrestone's Claptrap has his idle dialogue as him starting to wheel around and spin in place while saying the following:
  Claptrap: Oh, come on, let's get down! Come on, everybody! Check me out, I'm dancin'! I'm dancin'!
• The introduction of your first enemy, Nine-Toes. Bonus point for doing the Crotch Chop, also known as the "Suck it!" gesture:
  NINE TOES
  Also, he has three balls
• Some of the things that Scooter comes out with:
  "'Ey, ah'm Scooter! I's named after mah sister! Hey, get you some wheels!"
  "The Catch-a-Ride near Fyrestone is more busted than my momma's girl parts. Really appreciate you takin' a poke at that. The, uh, system, not my mom."^note Which is even more Hilarious in Hindsight when you play the first game as Mordecai, then you find out in the sequel that Mordy had a thing going on with Moxxi between games. Sorry, Scooter, but your mom's hot.
  "Hey, Scooter says don't walk, drive! My daddy always said wheels were better than heels. Uh, he was paralyzed, though. Anyway, don't walk, drive!"
• This particular line from T.K. Baha, while still at Fyrestone:
  T.K.: I uh, I hate to send you away, you're great company and all... but I, I gotta go take a dump. I gotta take a dump somethin' awful! Somethin' real awful! Oh.. never mind... it's all gone now.
• After completing a series of quests for Marcus that focus on blowing up a bandit named One-eyed Jack's supplies (Because they're not getting them through Marcus, obviously), Pierce gives you a quest to kill Jack himself. Jack is in an area that's easily accessed and has no blockade to keep out cars, allowing you to splatter him before he can get three words off.
• Most of Patricia Tannis' dialog is hilarious when her Sanity Slippage starts setting in, but the following ECHO recording during the mission "Hidden Journal: Rust Commons East" takes the cake:
  "Day 653: Day 653. Today is my birthday. I've been alone for an incalculable amount of time. A convict accidentally crossed over into my encampment this morning, and I allowed him to look about before I shot him in the back several times. I was immediately filled with regret upon doing this, because the human contact, no matter how awkward, would have been nice. I've decided his name was Lesli, and he had a troubled childhood where people would make fun of him for having a girl's name, and the torment eventually lead Lesli to a life of crime and debauchery. There was a tattoo on his bum that looked not unlike the name, 'Patricia'. I might have imagined the tattoo. The experience compelled me to move the Vault key fragment I found so that it can be safe. It's extremely important. So I've given it to the man known as Crazy Earl. He's not crazy. He doesn't like people. The Vault key will be safe with him... I also gave him my underwear."
  • Her comments on the subject of Baron Flynt:
  "After he left he took the artifact and punched my dog, which was the last piece of the Key to the Vault. The artifact, not my dog."
• At the Rust Commons East level, at one point after lowering the bridge, you receive a set of missions back in New Haven from Helena Pearce where you have to deal with the brothers Jaynis and Taylor Kobb. That's not the funny part. That would be when you talk to Taylor's hacked Claptrap, who's guarding the entrance to Trash Coast:
  Hack!trap: Well, I could let you in, or I could stick an electrode up my back panel and call it paradise...
• Some of the game's Anti Climax Bosses, such as Slither. After a two or three quest arc building up the threat of a new Bandit religion based around some powerful thing named Slither, you are dispatched to kill it at the end of the "Altar Ego: Godless Monsters" mission: A bright blue Scythid Crawler with no backup. Even better, Scythids are EXTREMELY weak to melee attacks so you can very easily just punch it to death if you so choose.

The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned

• Marcus' lemony voiceovers to the intro and outro of 'The Zombie Island of Doctor Ned'.
  Marcus: It was a dark and stormy night... on a distant corner of Pandora where few men dare to tread. With the journey to find the elusive Vault behind them, our fearless adventurers set off into the trees of-
  Child: What's a tree?
  Marcus: Oh for the Angel's sake — It's a plant that grows out of the ground really tall.
  Child: Like this? (draws a cactus thing)
  Marcus: No more interruptions! So, they set out into the trees of Jakobs Cove; a land very much ravaged and forgotten by time. It was here that the scientist Dr. Ned, who is totally not Dr. Zed from the last story at all, tried to help all of mankind, but ultimately caused very bad shit.
  Child: That's a swear!
  Marcus: Dude made zombies, okay? You're not the police of me. Pay attention. Okay, so some bad crap was happening and it got really spooky and this is where our story begins...
  Child: Is any of this going to be true?
  Marcus: Yes. Probably a lot of it. You're adopted.
• Ned's Claptrap in the Zombie Island is as hilarious as his other counterparts:
  Ned's Claptrap: *Dancing noises* Everybody's doin' the Claptrap! Ninja-kickin' zombies for the thrill! Chicks and shorties up in my grill! But the alive kind! *More dancing noises*
  Ned's Claptrap: Dr. Ned gave me the following awards this year; 'Most Effective Claptrap in Life-Threatening Situations', 'Hottest Performer of Mid '80s Breakdance Fighting', 'Master Orator', and 'Best Kisser'.
• Dr. Ned's transmissions during the DLC:
  Dr. Ned: I'm baking brownies, you want one? Oh shit, wait. I forgot about me trying to shove you off this mortal coil. Can't be givin' brownies to just any vengeance driven d-wad now can I? Hey, you know if zombies like brownies?
• Ned's ramblings during the mission "Night of the Living Ned", while you're mowing down hordes of undead and Wereskag mooks:
  (After killing the Wereskags): What's Jakobs payin' you? I'd offer to double it, but I'm poor as dirt after spending every cent I had into the recreational use of the undead as money makers. So far, not diggin' my plan in hindsight.
  (After reaching the third bridge): Okay, now you're just getting my dress all a-twitter. If I have to get out of bed and kill you I sure as hell will. Yeah, I'm Echo communicating from bed. So, what?
  (After passing the third bridge): Well, y'got me outta bed, now I'm just pissed off. I love slippers. I live to wear them. Now I'm just gonna have t'kill ya.
• Right after you killed Dr. Ned's regular form, the fake credits that roll afterwards are interrupted by...
  UNDEAD NED
  HOLY F*#KING SHIT!!!

Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot

• A fair few of Moxxi's announcer lines.
  Moxxi: The Horde Wave's comin ta eatcha! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

The Secret Armory of General Knoxx

• The Fast Travel station at T-Bone Junction features a poster for Hyperion Corporation, who evidently are in charge of the planet's customs and border control because, according to the poster's less-than-enthusiastic slogan: "Somebody has to be in charge around here." Bonus points because it doubles as foreshadowing for the sequel.
• The "Wanted!" Poster for each of the Vault Hunters shows their faces. Except Lillith. It's focused a bit... further down.
• Scooter gets some hilarious lines in this DLC as well:
  • His introductory cutscene ends with him telling you in code where you should go next:
  "Act all casual like when I say this. I'm gonna speak in code, so I hope you have the mental capacity to follow. Your 'lady friend' told me to send you to "Moxxi's place" when you stopped by... If you know what I'm saying."
  • After getting the Supercharger during the first mission:
  "Smokin' Jesus titty cinnamon! That is a monster! That's gonna be sweet!"
• There are a few Atlas advertisements that have been vandalised. So, instead of the slogan reading "ATLAS: WIELD THE POWER OF GODS", it reads "ATLAS: WIELD THE POWER OF COCKS!"
• Atlas attack drones will shill their manufacturer's products to you while actively trying to kill you, up to and including expressing their dearest hopes that, in the unlikely event you survive, you will still continue to purchase Atlas products.
• During one of the early missions after exiting T-Bone Junction through the Crimson Tollway exit:
  Moxxi (over the Echo): It looks like you'll need to go through the back door. That's What She Said! HEYO!
  (beat)
  Moxxi: Ahem. Anyway...
• Mr. Shank's accidental transmission during the "Prison Break: Try not to Get Shanked" mission:
  Mr. Shank: Chaz, stop! Oh my God I am so ticklish there! Oh, did I hit the transmit button? ...Oh crap. Uhhh... Hey, yeah, so you're still gonna still try to infiltrate my palace? Death on your head and such.
• Anything the prison Claptrap says before giving him the repair kit while at Lockdown Palace:
  Claptrap: Let me out! She didn't tell me her age! Girls of all ages like candy!
  Claptrap: When I get out of here, some of you bitches are getting stabbed. Matter of fact, I'm going to set the stabbing record on this planet.
  • Even better, after you let it out and it opens the door to a treasure room for you, follow it a bit longer. It rolls into the garage doing the usual Claptrap beatboxing dance routine, then it suddenly rolls under a giant electromagnet and finds itself lifted off the ground and permanently pinned to it.
  Claptrap: Dammit. Just kill me.
• The cutscene where you rescue Athena and she tells you about how she suffered while being held prisoner by the bandits:
  Athena: Your rescue is most agreeable. Thank you. But to be honest, mostly they just wanted to do my nails and talk about boys all the time. I almost sort of liked it here. They were like the sisters I never had because Atlas duped me into killing them — Wow, that got heavy, didn't it?
• After freeing Athena in the Lockdown Palace (and her teleporting to T-Bone Junction leaving you to return on your own), talking to her triggers a mission, "Code Breaker: Analysis" which, upon completion, triggers a conversation between two soldiers, one of which lost the access code to the Crimson Armory:
  Soldier 1: Ice cream day, oh snap, it's ice cream day! Rocky Road, a-la-mode? Oh, I'm in the mode for ice cream day!
  Soldier 2: Oh dear God, what was that?
  Soldier 1: You were recording that? Dude, dude, that is so mean. You are so mean, Derrick. I'm not sharing my ice cream with you. It's Rocky Road, too.
  Soldier 2: Oh, I heard. I just need the access code for today.
  Soldier 1: No, no, no, no, Derrick, it was your day to have the access code. I'm on personal ice cream leave of absence; code 3 dot 5 dot 31 in the manual clearly states—
  Soldier 2: Then where is the code?
  Soldier 1: You had it. I saw you.
  Soldier 2: Oh, no... that is bad. Oh, I screwed up big time.
  Soldier 1: What did you do, Derrick?
  Soldier 2: I might have played hookie to go check out the World's Largest Bullet. I think I left it there.
  Soldier 1: You left the access code, something that jeopardizes all of our lives - that's ALL of them - at the World's Largest Bullet?
  Soldier 2: Yes. Correct.
  Soldier 1: Eh, I got ice cream.
• Also, during Athena's transmissions, she needs to keep them from being identified. This results in them being broadcast in between ads for "Engorge", a faux brand of Penis Enlargement Pills. It's funny enough on its own, but it goes into true CMOF territory when Mr. Shank (who is identified as a "Notorious Ladies Man") is a spokesperson for it, after the player has already learned that he is EXTREMELY gay.
  Mr. Shank: Yeah so this shit is tits, guys. You should see what my bitch thinks of me now! His...Err...Her name is Chaz....Mina....and uh she...

Claptrap's New Robot Revolution

• The intro of the DLC:
  • How does the Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap kills Vault Hunters according to Marcus? By trapping them, poisoning them and spreading catty rumors around town (one them being the INAC telling a bandit that Lillith says something bad about his mother).
  • The children listening to Marcus' story chipping in again.
• Some of the lines Mr. Blake comes out with:
  Blake: This is it! The most challenging and most final phase of Operation Trap Claptrap Tap Trap- (tries again) Operation Trap Trapclap... Christ, that's a mouthful.
  Blake: Our intel reports that the enemy is using a nearby factory to rebuild and refit their own Claptraps. This is a clear violation of numerous patents and copyrights held by Hyperion! Also they're constructing a robot army, which is bad as well.
  Blake: Why, why did I decide to wear wool in the desert?
• An optional boss in the "Hyperion Dump" level, the Hyperion 'Super-Bad' Soldier, has some often overlooked and amusing battle cries.
  Hyperion Corporation values your input. Does this hurt?
  Stand down, the customer is not always right.
• Knoxx-Trap's intro. It's crystal-clear that he's NOT happy at being back:
  Knoxx-Trap: I'm back. [beat] Wait. I'm back? [beat] Damn it.
• The return of Commandant Steele as a Claptrapped boss encounter. She picks up from where she left off when she was killed by the Destroyer in the vanilla game, but stops short when she realizes something is wrong.
  "The key works! Soldier, get your team ready to go inside while I finish off ... Wait, where am I? What happened to the vault? WHY IS THIS HOLE HERE?!?"
  • Then, upon the character's death (again):
  Steele-Trap (dying): Please, just kill me... let me die with my dignit- TSK TSK TSK TSK Ooooh, check me out! Yeah! Get down! (dies)
  • In addition, some of Steele-Trap's battle quotes are hilarious.
  Twenty points if you can shoot it through the hole!
  Viva la Robolution! Wait, we're not seriously calling it that?
• Some of Dr. Ned-Trap's battle cries:
  "After I kill you, can I keep your eyeballs? You know, for science."
  "The Doctor is in... your face!"
  "Pour alcohol on the wound. Also in my mouth."
  (dying) "Tell my brother... I'm better looking than he is..."
• Before the final boss battle begins at the Arid Badlands, Claptrap shoots Marcus twice in the back, making him fall over. Before dying (and somehow returning anyway), he raises his finger and weakly says "If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs."

Other/Unsorted

• In order to promote the DLC The Secret Armory of General Knoxx, Gearbox gave the titular world-weary figurehead a Twitter account. He provides some color commentary on a lot of the game's happenings, and sometimes even its exaggerated art style.
  "troops will deploy today if all goes to plan. just met a man named mord-ee-kai. dude, eat something."
• Some of the weapons have hilarious names, to the point that players collect them for that reason alone. Perhaps the best example is the Hyperion "Bitch" sub-machinegun, which — due to the naming system — comes with the funny names: "Hostile", "Violent", "Malevolent", "Relentless", "Ruthless", and "Twisted", all followed by the weapon title "Bitch". Let alone the fact that the red "Flavor text" says "Smack 'em".
• Episode 4 of Claptrap's web series has some backstage arguments:
  Dr. Zed: Hey, Clap, I just need a moment of your time to discuss some script edits, maybe.
  Dr. Ned, who genuinely isn't Dr. Zed with a fake mustache: Yeah, I'm confused, too. Are the zombies mine or—
  Moxxi: [Interrupting] Yeah, the script says I'm going to be wearing a skag-skin bikini.
  Claptrap: It helps the plot.
  Moxxi: But I'm going to be in the Arctic Ruins!
  Claptrap: Nipples are a part of the plot!
  Dr. Ned: Oooh, nipples!
  Ned and Zed: Nice! [They high five]

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