The apocalypse has come, but who says there can't be anything to laugh about while the world ends?
Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.
The End
- Despite the general uneasiness of the season opener, "The End" provides some genuinely funny moments.
- The mere fact that Brock was apparently pitched a Free Willy limited series that he found absolutely spectacular.
- Followed up by his last words, once the plane he was trying to get to has already flown away.Brock: Coco, do NOT leave me in fucking Santa Monica! (Sees plane flying away with Coco in it) YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!
- Even before that, Coco using their discussed agreement of 'seeing other people' to break up with Brock so she can leave without him is pretty humorous on the dark side.
- The fact Gallant is able to get himself onto Coco's plane by...pointing out she needs someone to do her hair.
- The "Eighteen Months Later" Gilligan Cut.
- When Andre realized what they've been served.
- Andre: This stew is Stu!
The Morning After
- Coco being dismissive of Evie's claim that she's only 52.Coco: You were 52 when Elvis took his last shit!
- In a flashback, Gallant deliberately goes over the top in his flamboyance in order to ruin one of his grandmother's dinner parties.
- Gallant being Too Kinky to Torture, shouting out the names of gay rights activists every time he's whipped. Later on, Venable stops the whipping when it's revealed that Mr. Gallant is a bit too...excited for it to have any effect.
- Coco and Mallory claiming that as millennials they have it worse than the older survivors, since they're so used to having near-limitless choices in just about everything, from entertainment to food to dogs.
- When Mr. Gallant and his grandmother Evie are arguing about her turning him in to Mead, he shouts this at her, oh so hammily.Mr. Gallant: YOU HAVE LIVED!... I haven't.
- When Michael Langdon explains his plans to "cooperate" all the citizens of Outpost 3 and select those worth saving while the others can commit suicide with poison or get eaten by nuclear zombies, Coco asks in an exasperated voice "What is this?! The Hunger Games?!"
Forbidden Fruit
- The cutaway of Coco making Mallory wipe her after using the bathroom because since her nail polish is still wet, she can't do it herself.
- For some Black Comedy, Coco pointing out that the only thing they'd had previously to a holiday celebration was when they had Stu for dinner at Christmas.
- For some more Black Comedy, there's a couple of mutated survivors arguing over the proper amount of time needed to cook a human leg.
- Coco's shock at seeing Brock alive and claiming "I had to put you away with all the other things I loved and could never have again...like sushi."
- One of Venable and Meade's goons, the tall one with a ponytail, turns out to have run a food blog before the apocalypse. Cue her rambling on at length about the apples they've received from the Sanctuary, to the annoyance of her superiors.
- We knew it was coming, but the first thing that Madison says to Mallory, after the latter had been brought back from the dead? Her infamous one-liner.
Could It Be... Satan?
- Without question, getting to see Myrtle Snow throwing shade at the Antichrist and the patriarchal warlocks like it's no big deal was one of the main highlights of the episode.
- Just the fact that March and Queenie have played cards at least 56,433 times... and he's lost all of those hands.
- Madison's version of Hell is being stuck forever in a dead-end retail job where everyone mistakes her for another celebrity and pesters her about it while she's trying to do her job. And what's the first thing she does when she meets Michael Langdon in her hell? Call him a 'snack' and offer him a blowjob.
- The woman that Mead is based off of throwing a fit over a butcher refusing to sell her a goat's head and threatening to sue him for religious discrimination in a flashback to Michael's upbringing. Michael simply kills him after he insults her.
Boy Wonder
- Myrtle rants on the evils of giving "men with hubris" power.Myrtle: Have we learned nothing from Attila the Hun? Herod the Great? Mark Zuckerberg?
- During his test of the Seven Wonders, how does Michael demonstrate Concilium? He makes Zoe and Madison dance together, while conducting with the object he caught when demonstrating Telekinesis.
Return to Murder House
- Madison and Behold posing as a married couple to get into the Murder House. Madison even lies about wanting to have his babies with Behold giving her one of the best "Say what now?!" looks.
- The pair bemoaning their situation.Madison: The council sent me here because they think I'm expendable!Behold: And I had to put on khakis, so it's a hard day for all of us. So maybe just shut up!
- Madison's stunned reaction at being told 36 people died in the Murder House.
- The pair bemoaning their situation.
- Madison's assessment on seeing the Murder House:Madison: What. A. Shithole.
- In a scene that's otherwise a CMoH, Madison awkwardly patting the head of Moira when the latter finds out she's finally going to the afterlife.
- Ben telling Madison and Behold that he can't talk at the moment because he has to go look out the window and cry while he masturbates. The looks of horror/disgust on the living pair's faces is glorious. And then after that, when Madison says that she feels for "the guy" and wants to help him.Behold: [disgusted] You mean the tear jerker?Madison: Ew, no - the other guy.
- Madison referring to Ben as a "DILF."
- Tate screaming "You didn't spring from my nutsack!" at Michael. It's otherwise a serious, even sad scene, but the way Tate denies Michael as his son is quite... graphic.
- A minor one, but when the Satanists find Michael in Murder House, they immediately start bowing and singing his praises. The camera then cuts to their "Lord," Michael, who has clearly just woken up, looking anything but royal in shorts and a t-shirt.
- Him saying "Who are you?" sleepily while ruffling his hair in the most endearing manner just seals the deal.
- His expression during the first half of the scene can only be described as a mix between "who the hell are these people, I just wanna go back to sleep, man" and "it's seriously way too early for this bullshit."
Traitor
- It turns out Evie is an old witch friend of Myrtle's who can read minds. That leads to her dropping truth bombs on people off their thoughts for some wild stuff such as telling a waiter what panties (or lack thereof) she's wearing.
- In a moment of Black Comedy, especially coming from this series, Baldwin uses his toxin on Ariel, only to evilly laugh and joke that it only worked on females. The fact B.D. Wong has been known to play mad scientists comes across one hell of a hilarious Actor Allusion, as he is clearly channeling Hugo Strange.
- In a beautiful moment of comedic irony, Mallory asking Zoe what the new Supreme is like and if he’s nice.
Sojourn
- Madelyn telling Michael that she has sex with Brad Pitt on Wednesdays and Ryan Reynolds on Fridays, which is later followed by Jeff and Mutt mentioning to him that they have sex with Ryan Reynolds on Thursdays. Just the idea of Ryan Reynolds sleeping with all those Satanists...
- The way Ms. Venable verbally destroys the intern is this and a Moment of Awesome.
- While also a moment of epic, horrific proportions, the reactions of Mutt and Jeff when Michael destroys their prostitute in front of them is pure - and hilarious - Black Comedy.
- When Mutt and Jeff are about to start up the Mead android and cross their fingers for good luck, and Michael reacts in pain. "Oh, sorry, dude!"
- The Whole-Plot Reference to The Last Temptation of Christ. Of special note is the parody of the sequence where Jesus draws a circle in the sand and holds off the demons that are trying to tempt him. In this case it's a pentagram, and he's being tempted by angels who want him to use his powers for good.
Fire and Reign
- Jeff's rant at the very beginning of the episode, which culminates in him screaming about people not turning at intersections when they should turn and throwing his coffee at the wall. Even funnier is that this seems to be what sparks their idea to end the world. The world is ending because of one man's road rage.
- Mutt speaking disparagingly of Michael's hair, and Jeff agreeing, when they both have two of the worst haircuts ever seen on the show.
- The fact that Michael can't come up with any ideas on his own for destroying the world, so he has to crib ideas from Omen 3: The Final Conflict - and Mutt & Jeff (through Ms. Mead) call him out on it, with Michael saying "There's not a bunch of reference material on how to be the Antichrist!" Which makes Mutt and Jeff giving him a Bible to read all the more funnier. Bonus points for Michael telekinetically flipping the pager right to The Book of Revelation.
- Jeff declaring that people are selfish, short-sighted, and only care about instant gratification... and then proving his own point by snorting a large amount of cocaine.
Apocalypse Then
- Mutt and Jeff's full names are revealed: Mutt Nutter and Jeff Pfister.
- Myrtle getting past Ms. Venable.Venable: You might as well ask me to explain your hair.Myrtle: My hair is an eternal mystery, never to be fully understood.
- Myrtle saying that the most unpleasant part of her meeting with Jeff and Mutt is that she has to leave without killing them both.
- The revelation Coco's entire "spell personality" was all based on...Madison.Coco: No, there has to be another way!Madison: Consider it an upgrade.
- Langdon mocks the witches.Langdom: Have you seen the state of the world?Myrtle: It's almost as bad as your dinner jacket. But at least the world can be saved.
- How does Mallory defeat Michael? She goes back in time to 2015 and runs him over with a car. Repeatedly.
- Mallory figuring Madison can "sweat it out a bit" in Hell before she's rescued.
- In a very dark way, yet another Antichrist being born, this time to Timothy and Emily. You just can't stop them, can you?
