If you think about it, the house Garfield is trapped in has been abandoned for years, which suggests that Garfield is ALREADY DEAD- and his spirit is bound to the place, a strong sense of denial is the only reason he doesn't scream.
"You have no idea how alone you are, Garfield"
It actually gets much worse if one reads the article in the present day (and imagines the year as such) while reading it. Garfield is very big on marking the eponymous cat's birthday, and how old he's getting-his birth year is stated as being 1978 (the year of the comic's inception)- by the late 80's, the 'aging' jokes were starting to be laid on pretty thick at his birthday time as the strips were written in 1989... A cat born in 1978 would be pretty damn old by then- and when you factor in Garfield's weight and general lifestyle, dying before 1989 seems more likely...
But the real horror comes in when you remember that the comic never stopped being printed between 1989 and now, remains in print- and will probably remain so for some time to come. Garfield's still scarfing lasagna and harassing Odie, but any normal cat that was born in 1978 should not be alive in 2012! And the 1989 comic offers a nice Fridgeexplanation for all of it.. It's a perpetual illusion by a long-dead Garfield's ghost...
And this is meant to be PLAYED. FOR. LAUGHS. As davis said... "During a writing session for Halloween, I got the idea for this decidedly different series of strips. I wanted to scare people. And what do people fear most? Why, being alone. We carried out the concept to its logical conclusion and got a lot of responses from readers. Reaction ranged from 'Right on!' to 'This isn't a trend, is it?'" Holy. CRAP.
And to pile on, most cats live 20-30 years. The middle is 25. Take 2012 and take away 25 is 1987. If calculations are PROPER, garfield DIED BEFORE THESE COMICS BY 2 YEARS.
The world record is 38, and the current oldest cat (according to a quick websearch) is 27, but the oldest cat I've ever known was about 17.
Actually, although thirty-four (at the time of this edit) is an unlikely age, some cats have lived longer than that. Eleven also wouldn't have been terribly old for a cat, even an overweight one. Not that that invalidates the theory, though; there's plenty that can kill a pet besides old age. I mean, hey, if we're talking reality, a whole lot of stuff in the food he eats could poison him; tomatoes are toxic to cats, and his favorite food is lasagna...
According to an extra in one of the book collections, Garfield may have "retired to a South Sea island and has been replaced by a bionic duplicate."
In one of the TV specials, Jon wants to take Garfield to the vet because he's been hyperactive. Consider that the cure for hyperactivity in male cats is generally castration. Garfield probably had a legitimate fear of going to the vet.