Funny / Garfield

In general:

  • Whenever the talking scale speaks to Garfield.
  • Anything involving the TV.
  • Several jokes involving coffee, such as when it is too weak or too strong.
  • Sometimes, Garfield will burp very loudly.
  • Whenever Jon answers the phone only to find out that Garfield has been causing trouble.
  • Almost any gag involving the Spluts. One particularly impressive one is coupled with Medium Awareness.
  • Many of Jon's pick-up lines, with the crowner being, "Excuse me, I have healthy gums."
  • Whenever Jon has trouble setting up Christmas decorations (such as lights and the tree).
  • Anything involving the refrigerator and the mutated abominations that come out of it.

Specific examples:

  • One comic has the refrigerator light burn out, and Garfield, thinking it was never bright enough anyway, replaces it with a HUGE Bulb. Soon, Jon is headed for the fridge looking for a midnight snack. The final panel has light shooting out of every window and the chimney and Jon yelling for Garfield.
  • Jon asks Garfield if he's ready to eat, which for some reason causes Garfield to get really upset at Jon. The over-the-top delivery of the last line is what makes the strip.
  • Garfield watching a cheesy romantic movie that consists entirely of "John! Marsha!" for 4 panels straight. he changes the channel and Face Palms when he gets "George! Shirley!"
  • Two different successful attempts at randomness, both involving vines: one coming out of nowhere inside the house, and another being used to rescue Garfield from a ginormous bowl of oatmeal.
  • Garfield trying out a whole bunch of exotic bird calls. While it initially appears nothing happened, which gives Garfield the line "Maybe I 'nicked' when I should have 'greeeebeled,'" there's a whole bunch of exotic birds standing right behind him.
  • A scene with Garfield watching TV: "The court calls Gouda May Freegenweegenswallodribbenfraxenlaxenismabittle to the stand. Be seated, Mrs. Freegenweegenswallodribbenfraxenlaxenismabittle. Please state your name." Cue Face Palm in the third panel.
  • When Garfield's jealousy of Liz reaches new heights...
    Jon: [on the phone] Liz, I think Garfield's jealous of you.
    [Garfield enters wearing a bathrobe, house slippers, and hair curlers]
    Garfield: You're talking to that woman again, aren't you?!
    Jon: [deadpan] Liz, I know Garfield's jealous of you.
  • Jon explaining a double date to his brother:
    Doc Boy: What's a double date?
    Jon: That's when you and I go on a date together.
    Doc Boy: Gee, it seems like it would be more fun if some girls came along.
  • In one Sunday strip, Garfield gets a phone call telling him he can get a grand prize if he answers two questions: what is the sound a cat makes, and what is the sound a dog makes? Garfield answers the first one correctly, but the second one...he messes that one up deliberately.
    • "DUHHHHHHH!"
    Garfield: I doubt if I was eligible anyway.
    • An earlier comic has Garfield winning a new house by correctly answering "What sound does a Felis domesticus (house cat) make?" He does this by meowing into the phone, but then the announcer asks for his name and address. In the next panel, Garfield has fainted, and the announcer is asking, "And how do you spell your name, Mr. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhh?"
  • When Garfield wakes up one morning and Jon decides to go jogging...Garfield falls right back to sleep.
    • A later strip has Jon waking Garfield up at five in the morning to go jogging... then promptly yawns and falls asleep next to him in his jogging clothes. "I knew that nonsense wouldn't last long."
    • Another strip has Jon waking Garfield at 4 AM to watch the sunrise. Garfield's response: "Alright. You can do it from the ambulance".
  • A comic shows Garfield using the Puppy-Dog Eyes trick on Liz to get some cookies. But just then, Liz did it right back at him...making Garfield give his food to her and head over to Jon. His response to that? "She's good."
  • One comic gives us Garfield using an ironing board as a surf board in the shower stall, resulting in a very startled Jon as his cat shoots out of the stall on a huge wave shouting "COWABUNGA!" when he opens the door.
    "Why can't you just bat a piece of string like other cats?!"
  • Another example of TV-viewing:
    TV voice: It's the "Binky the Clown Show"!
    TV voice: Today is "Health Day," kids! Let's see who's at the door...
    TV voice: Why, it's "Petey," the bloated tick!
    Garfield: That is one ugly puppet.
  • Garfield is served dinner:
    Jon: Oh, come on, Garfield. The cat food isn't that bad.
    Garfield: Then let's see how YOU like it! [Shoves some of the food into Jon's mouth]
    Jon: mmm good.
    Garfield: YOU LIE!
  • Jon refusing to understand love stories don't have car chases.
    Liz: This is a great love story.
    Jon: Are there car chases?
    Liz: It's a love story.
    Jon: Do they go over cliffs?
    Liz: It's a love story.
    Jon: Do the cars explode?
    Liz: (angry) Yes! The whole world explodes!
    Jon: Cool!
    Garfield: Turn it up!
  • This exchange with Irma:
    Irma: Hon, you didn't eat your vegetables.
    Jon: What are you going to do, call my mother?
    Irma: I believe I will!
    Jon: [Stuffing the veggies into his mouth] Look, I'm eating 'em! I'm eating 'em!
    Garfield: Tell her he ate his dessert first!
  • Jon becomes a mime, and flirts with a lady mime, whose jealous boyfriend beats him up. In the last panel, Jon emits a tiny, "Ow..." and Garfield scolds him with, "Ah ah ah! You're not supposed to talk!"
  • The strip involing Garfield finding a giant hamburger, only for the hamburger to tell him that Garfield is dreaming. Cue Garfield bearing claws and fangs yelling (mentally): "NEVER ASSUME!"
  • Garfield flushes the alarm clock down the toilet before Jon walks into the bathroom. "The toilet is ringing! What should I do?" "Take a message."
  • In one Sunday, Jon fashions a suit out of Sunday newspaper comics, which he thinks will help him pick up chicks. He finds a lady jogger, but before he can say anything, it begins to rain. A lot. When it clears, Jon's been reduced to his underwear.
    Woman: You're punchline is showing.
    Garfield: Now that's funny!
  • "I couldn't decide what shirt to wear. So I put all of them on".
  • Some time after they started dating, Liz joins Jon on a trip to the beach. Jon's mind nearly breaks when he first sees Liz in a bikini. Even funnier is the way Odie rips off his shades in a double-take.
  • Garfield becomes fed up with Jon's snoring and shoves a pillow in his mouth.
    Jon: GAHHHHEEE!!!
    Garfield: Oh, pipe down and gimme your pillow.
  • Garfield and strange noises at night.
    Garfield: The wind, the house settling...
    Jon: Wha?!... HOOP! YAAAAH!!
    Garfield: Jon getting up and stepping on Odie.
  • Another strip has Garfield naming all the peaceful sounds of the night... then he hears them all at once, prompting an Aside Glance. Much later on, the strip gets a Call-Back when Garfield complains about not getting enough sleep.
  • Garfield and Jon's hot pepper eating contest. Jon wins by way of Garfield giving in to a Peruvian death pepper...but feels no satisfaction due to Garfield having incinerated Jon with his breath. Four panels from this comic currently serve as the page image for Pyrrhic Victory.
  • One comic has Garfield and Jon celebrate National Drama Day, where they completely flip out over the smallest things like burnt toast, the fridge light bulb going out, and running out of floss. They finally calm down...only for Garfield to calmly say that Jon's car is on fire.
  • Someone calls Jon to say, "I won't go out with you!"
    Jon: I wonder who that was?
    Garfield: (Smacks forehead) Rejected by wrong numbers!
  • The first housefly of Spring is looking for a welcome:
    Housefly: I was hoping for something a little more FESTIVE!
    Garfield: (throwing confetti with his default bored expression) Huzzah
    Housefly: I hate you!

For 2004 Live-Action film

  • Garfield trying several attempts to wake Jon up.
    Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up! You can stop dreaming about me because I'm here. (pulls the covers off) Now just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver!
    Jon: Not now, Garfield. (rolls over, his arm squeezes Garfield's neck)
    Garfield: Ack! Cut the sweet stuff! Easy now! (pulls his head free then saunters off Jon's bed) Trying to cuddle with me, huh? Trying to avoid your duties, huh? Well, that just ain't gonna fly! Isn't gonna work for me! (climbs up a stack of books to get to the top of a cabinet just across from Jon's bed) See, I'm getting my exercise doing my job. Just one quick CANNONBALL! (leaps off the cabinet and onto Jon's stomach; Jon coughs) Morning!
    Jon: GARFIELD!
  • Jon takes Odie on his date with Liz, leaving Garfield behind. Garfield begins chasing Liz's pick-up truck and manages to climb onto the bed. Then the traffic light turns red and Liz puts the brakes on, sending Garfield smacking into the back window, while Jon and Liz take no notice of him.
    Garfield: [muffled] Oh, my poor nose...

For A Tale of Two Kitties:

  • Upon coming up to Buckingham Palace, Garfield tries to get a rise out of a traditional British Royal Guard, but was unsuccessful. Then Odie did the "Ugly American Thing", resulting in the guard chasing him and Garfield.
    Garfield: The British are coming! The British are coming! (To Odie) Well, you made him crack, anyway.
  • Garfield getting stuck in the model of Carlysle castle.
    Garfield: Does this castle make my butt look a little too big?