Film: The Cinema Snob Movie
"'Vincent Dawn?' If I wanted to have a fake name, I'd stick with 'Alan Smithee,' thank you very much."The Cinema Snob Movie
is an origin story of Brad Jones' The Cinema Snob
, and was released on DVD on September 27th. 2012. It focuses on Craig Golightly, a screenwriter desperate to get his blacksploitation film "Black Angus" off the ground. But as it turns out, he needs permission from the head of the local film club to film it, permission that is not forthcoming. Seeing no alternative, he attends the film club disguised as Vincent Dawn, a fellow Caustic Critic
. Then suspicious murders occur with each member of the club and Craig finds himself forced to solve them.
This film contains examples of:
- Author Filibuster: After The Reveal of Ted's Freudian Excuse, Craig and him talk about unfair criticism, mirroring Brad's own views of exploitation and unfair judgement of the genre.
- Becoming the Mask: Vladimir is persuaded into acting like "Black Angus" in an attempt to find out who the murderer is.
- Big Bad: Ted.
- Big Damn Heroes: Subverted. When Craig and Nancy are about to be killed by Ted, Vladimir and Neil kick down the door, only for Ted to shoot Vladimir. In the arm. And Neil treats it like Vladimir's dying. Minutes after this, Craig becomes the real hero by finally killing Ted. As Lampshaded by Nancy:
Nancy: Would you two just shut up, he just got shot in the arm.
- Blackface: Proposed as a way to get back film rights, as well as potentially a way to play "Black Angus"
- Bloody Hilarious: All the more impressive seeing how it had a $20,000 budget.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Gene is "the richest man in Springfield" and is able to secure Craig and Neil their lead actor and the roller rink very quickly for their production. After securing the roller rink, he abruptly walks away back to Springfield—five miles away—strictly because he claimed to hear "people who need me."
- Buxom Is Better: Craig lets out an appreciative "Damn!" when Nancy takes off her bra before they have sex.
- Call Back: Numerous to the original web series.
- Before Craig appears in disguisenote , he comes into frame barefoot, which is a trademark of his reviews.
- Dawn's first film choice to bring to the club is Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom, which he reviewed from hunched over a toilet and vomiting due to the disgusting nature of the film, yet praised its symbolism. After they watch the film, Dan praises the film as "the anti-happiness, the anti-joy, a true look at sadism with lovely landscaping." This is a direct quote from the original review, and so is much of Vincent's analogy of mass-produced food.
- The line "You're a director, be manipulative" is from Brad's second movie, Cheap.
- Derek Silver lamenting the fact that Alvin and the Chipmunks was a hit at the box office is a reference to his actor and Jake Norvell being forced to go see it for the midnight screening review.
- Craig taunts Ted by telling him that "not even the world 'sleaze' would fuck that movie." This is a similar line to one he used in his Driller Killer review.
- The "Card Sharks" concept and title were from the Chatterbox Snob review.
- Covers Always Lie: The chair from the show is on the cover, but nowhere to be found in the movie.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: Everyone the murderer kills gets a disgusting mutilation after their death.
- Alex gets stabbed in the back, and then a barbed-wire baseball bat is shoved up his ass.
- Kevin gets his cellphone antenna stabbed into his eye, and then down into his throat. It's set to vibrate so much that it heats up and burns a hole through his neck.
- John Doe gets shot in the neck with an arrow, and later on a pencil is shoved into his urethra.
- Sandra is shot in the head, and her nose is removed. It's later used in lieu of Nancy's.
- Dan gets smothered with a shopping bag, and a snake is later slipped down his throat.
- Cutaway Gag: "Whatever happened to Scott Bakula?"
- "And where the hell is Candy?"
- Earn Your Happy Ending: Craig kills Ted and ends up with Nancy.
- And as it's revealed in the Snob's review of I Spit on Your Grave, Craig also parlayed his minor fame into the show itself and Neil and Candy ended up together.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Neil's nickname in high school was apparently "The Peeping Tom." Subverted in that Neil doesn't seem to show aversion to it, though Craig does.
- Eye Scream: Kevin is stabbed in the eye with the antenna of his cellphone.
- Fanservice: There are two instances of female nudity in the film, including one with Brad's then-wife Jillian.
- Another scene has Sarah Lewis in a bikini.
- Faux Symbolism: Attacked viciously In-Universe.
. The good Crash
. The Cronenberg Crash
Craig: They watched it two weeks ago. The car crashes symbolized Auschwitz.
- Friendly Address Privileges: Subverted.
Craig: Mr. Phillips?
Dan: Please, call me Dan. Because after I tell you this, I don't think you're going to respect me very much.
- Genre Savvy: Interestingly enough, Candy can be seen as the most savvy character namely through leaving for an island paradise once the body count rises above one.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: All of Craig's film ideas are examples, like "Black Angus" and "Card Shark" (a thriller set in a casino/aquarium. It turns out that this is usually the clincher of getting Neil's involvement in his films.
Craig: I've got it! [...] A slasher film set in a mental institution where the residents are picked off one-by-one by the ghost of a former patient who was left there to die by the hospital staff because she was performing self-mutilation.
Neil: ...title me.
- The film club meetings in the wake of the passing of Arch Keating and Derek Silver are, respectively, "The Golden Arches" and "The Silver Lining". Even Craig groans at these.
- "Play It To The Bone? Well, I've got a bone to pick with this movie, which should be put to sleep at the doggy pound pronto!"
- Lampshade Hanging: Craig and Neil thank Gene for helping secure the roller rink, and say that without him "we'd have to resort to shooting in their parking lot." Guess where the scene takes place.
- Name's the Same: A character who only shows up at the club one night and dies shortly afterward is named Scott Bakulanote . Nancy doesn't even believe that Craig saw him.
- Only Sane Man: When the Film Club holds meetings to mourn the loss of their recently-murdered members, Craig is the only one that reacts accordingly when the details of their deaths are revealed...namely, shouting "Oh, my fucking God!" and "Jesus Christ!" Everyone else simply sits there and listens.
- Arguably, Candy, who leaves town and never looks back once the body count rises above 1.
- Origin Story: Of the title character.
- As they're trying to figure out a disguise, Brad discloses the true (to real-life) origin story of the costume. He'd gone to a screening of Monkey Shines with a Q&A with George Romero afterwards. One of the people present - described as wearing an all-black suit, slicked-back hair, and "Jeffrey Dahmer glasses" - described an analogy of the relation between the main characters (a man and a chimp) as analogous to Man's relationship with evolution. Romero laughed him off.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Craig lampshades this in regards to his minimalist Cinema Snob wardrobe, since Dan Phillips has seen him personally and would be easily able to recognize him. Dan later admits that he fell for it completely, but his wife is the first to notice that "Vincent Dawn" is a pseudonym also used by Bruno Mattei.
- Subverted when Dan points out why it worked: Craig is just some random film maker he doesn't really think about and barely knows.
- Peeping Tom: Derek Silver masturbates to a naked girl while watching her from the street, then calls up Candy and tells her he's been "bad" and asks to be "scolded."
- Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: "I woulda brought some eggs if I knew there was gonna be some bacon!"
- It's subverted when he's immediately shot in the arm.
- The Quiet One: Chester, a lonely man who attends the film club only because he likes seeing porn of Jesus.
- Running Gag: "Where's Candy?"
- Also whenever Craig comes back from something, Neil is always on the couch eating something (ranging from cookies to bologna slices)
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: After the second murder, Candy leaves, seemingly for a more tropical locale.
- Side Bet: In the beginning of the film, Craig pays Neil $20 because he'd bet that Dan would remember Craig's pitch for "Card Shark".
- Theme Music Abandonment: It's not surprising to find out that no, a dinky little independent film couldn't afford to license the theme from The Greatest American Hero. (The commentary reveals the best they could do was slip the first three notes into the Snob's leitmotif.)
- Token Minority: Vladimir Jackson
- What Have I Done: Craig after shooting the murderer: "...I just killed a man."