"Night train to Mundo Fine Red Zone Cuba
Night train to the end
Running hard and running fast
To meet my future and away from my past
Taking that gamble that cannot last
Night train to the end"
, also known as Night Train to Mundo Fine
, is a movie about... well, it's hard to say really. It follows Griffin, an escaped convict and outlaw played by none other than Coleman Francis
(who also wrote, produced and directed the film) and his two associates as they try to survive. They learn that the army is planning to invade Cuba (good job on the whole "secret" thing, huh?!) and decide to sign-up — so they can desert with the signing bonus. (Unfortunately for them, the Army doesn't pay cash up front.)
After less than 24 hours in boot camp and a laughable desertion attempt, the Army "strike force" (which consists of five guys, and gets Handwaved
by being a preliminary raiding force or something) "shoves off" to
Cuba to pave the way for the main Bay of Pigs invasion
, only to be foiled by
a guy with a badly-fitted fake beard Fidel Castro
, who captures our daring trio and takes them to a POW camp. While in prison, Griffin learns that one of their fellow soldiers - on the verge of death - owns a valuable uranium/diamond/tungsten mine, and the three decide to break out and take control of the mine themselves.
Once back in the US however, the trio are distracted by a restaurant and decide to vent their frustrations by murdering the owner and raping his blind daughter, hopping on a freight train (driven by none other than John Carradine
) and stealing each other's keepsakes for petty cash. When they finally get to the mine, the soldier's widow happily offers to split the deeds to the mine with them, and, out of gratitude, Griffin shoots her. The police finally noticing the 250 pound bald guy murdering his way across the country, close in. Coleman Francis is shot, and his partners surrender. One of the policemen loads the widow's body into the back of his truck and returns her to her home where, by a twist of fate, her soldier husband has just inexplicably arrived home completely well. But his wife is Not Quite Dead
, and they share a reunion as the film thankfully shudders to a stop.
For the Mystery Science Theater 3000
version, please go to the episode recap page
This film contains examples of: