An epic AU story by Nobody102, Scorpion Disciple tells the story of Sasori after Orochimaru's defection from Akatsuki. Only here it was much more spectacular than in canon, with Sasori barely surviving and losing his entire puppet collection with the exception of the Sandaime Kazekage. It was only thanks to his secret (being a living puppet) that Sasori managed to escape from the onslaught. Fearing the ire of Pain after such a colossal failure he faked his death, went underground, started to rebuild his forces, and prepares to hunt Orochimaru's to the end of the world, if needed.By chance he chose Konoha (mainly because of Kabuto) and all was going according to plan until one day he bumped into a hyperactive orange menace in the street and after a misunderstanding and a botched prank, he started to become curious about this young idiot who seemed at the same time incredibly incompetent and efficient and why he was hated so much by the population at large. What he found piqued his interest to such an extent that he decided to add Naruto to his collection.What happened next must be seen to be believed.Is now officially abandoned. A summary describing what was planned has been left by the author.A sequel by Knightmare Gundam of Ni, called Scorpion's Masterpiece, which has been sanctioned by Nobody102 has recently popped up. It begins after the timeskip after the events of Scorpion's Disciple (including those events that were summarized at the end of the fic by the author). Whether it reaches the same heights as the original remains to be seen.
A Million Is a Statistic: Averted. The destruction of the Land of Waves came as a terrible shock to Konoha with its repercussion still resounding strong in the fic. Played straight with Pain's hunt of Orochimaru, destroying 90% of his labs and soldiers so far.
Ax-Crazy: The Fanon flavor of Anko. In her first appearance, she decided (by mistake) to throw a Kunai at the back of Naruto's head after a botched prank. She was pleasantly surprised (later) after he evaded, since it would have been a bother if he died. It never occurred to her that the Sandaime had slaughtered people for less against Naruto and it was only luck (and Naruto not talking) that saved her from... giving a visit to Ibiki.
Kabuto can become one at will.
Because You Were Nice to Me: While this was the goal of Sasori with Naruto since the beginning, he barely had to put effort into itthanks to Konoha idiocy. Naruto is aware of this but after Hinata's death, realized that Sasori is really the only one who he can count through and through. It depressed him a little.
Berserk Button: Never use in vain the label of "Art" in front of Sasori. Kakashi against those who betray truce pacts, no matter how "unofficial" they might be As Zabuza learned the hard way.
Beware the Nice Ones: Kabuto, at least his persona. Also Naruto, who is very laid back and kind except when you tick him off.
"You're all going to die, you know?" a little boy said, before shutting up when a kunai impacted the wall right next to his face.
"Brat…" growled Naruto. "If you tell me that crap one more time, I'll fucking skin you alive, you hear me!".
Brutal Honesty: Sasori with Naruto. He never, ever lies about anything no matter how harsh or brutal it might be and he didn't even bother to hide his real intentions. Naruto both loves him for it and wants to punch him real hard in the face.
Broken Ace: Sasori to the Sand Village. He was deemed the father of modern puppeteering, but after the Kazekage decided to withhold his art, he killed him and imparted one of their greatest secrets to their sworn enemies. He is also working against them in the Invasion, but this is mainly because Orochimaru is with them.
Character Development: One of the strong points of the story. Naruto: from little shit to a stable young Ninja, Sakura: from fangirl to a competent soldier, Sasori: From a cold bastard to a more templated bastard with a tiny heart of brass and so on.
Chaste Hero: Thanks to Sasori's seal on Naruto, he has zero sexual drive. While this helped him to concentrate in his studies it ended very bad for Hinata and this still haunts Naruto.
Sasuke with his desire to meet his enemies head one. In later chapters he tries to outgrow it.
Cynical Mentor: Sasori is so cynical that it managed to (almost) drown Naruto's optimism.
Difficult, But Awesome: Sealing and puppetry. It took Naruto years of intense study, helped by a "Seal of concentration" and... stuff to become marginally proficient, but this had left him as a powerhouse and one of the most dangerous Genin in Konoha.
Sasori continued scribbling on the pieces of paper scattered on the table. "He is rich, handsome, extraordinarily gifted, comes from a prestigious family, and has a tragic past that strikes a chord in people's hearts."
"He's a cold-hearted bastard."
"Or alternatively, he has a wounded heart just waiting for that special girl whose love can heal it. A lot of people are suckers for broken birds."
"Girls are stupid, then."
"Congratulations, Naruto – you just made a sentence that is both hypocritical and sexist with only 4 words."
Dishing Out Dirt: Jiraiya's "Roses of Earth", which can kill a dozen of Jounins in a second. The Kicker: its not even a combat technique but an assassination one. A low level one at that.
Friendship Moment: Shino's defense of Naruto from Shikamaru's accusations and Team 8's visit after the Genin exam, just to mention a few.
From Bad to Worse: Land of Waves With the introduction of Hidan and Kakuzu and subsequently Pain's "visit" but it found its summit in the Chunin Exam after Hinata's death at the hand of Neji and Orochimaru deciding to kill Naruto with his own hands... moments before Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Jugo came for Garaa and Naruto.
Green Lantern Ring: Seals. While they are very well explained, their very Nature means that they can be tweaked to do a near infinite number of things, all depending on the wit and power of the Seal Master. but even Jiraiya was shocked that Naruto decided to use it to create zombie animals as weapons.
Heroic BSOD: Naruto had one after Zabuza's betrayal, causing him to notch his distrust radar through the roof.
The Mole: Kabuto. Naruto in a very indirect way, since he doesn't know that Sasori is not really loyal to Konoha but after the screw in the Chunin Exam, his loyalties are shifting.
My Greatest Failure: Sasori's defeat at the hands of Orochimaru also his "eternal body", since he found too late that it was imperfect and for that, worthless to become his masterpiece. He is grooming Naruto for this spot as of chapter 14.
And he was successful
Necromancer: Technically both Sasori and Pain, who used dead bodies to fight. A more traditional example would be Naruto, who use seals to kill animals and use their corpses as spies and moving bombs. Even Jiraiya was shocked by this.
"Wait," Jiraya began. "You mean to tell me-"
"Yes," Naruto nodded. "They are my eyes. They're not really alive, not after I'm done with them. They are more of an extension of me, allowing me to see far and wide. I like dragonflies because they fast and enduring fliers and just the right size – small and common enough to remain inconspicuous yet fairly large for an insect, allowing me to pack a lot of seals into them."
Naruto has freed Orochimaru for the sole purpose of learning Impure World Resurrection...and then sealed him inside his mindscape
OOC Is Serious Business: When Naruto went from being a little shit to start reading and making origami in class without a single prank in weeks, it was enough to launch a formal investigation. People still look at Naruto funny years after his change.
Old Soldier: Jiraya. It took him a second to slaughter over a dozen Jounins with a single technique and is, quite simply, one of the deadliest Ninja alive.
He absentmindedly outstretched his hand, forming a giant rasengan in front of him, and the puppet promptly turned to sawdust. The two sword-wielders didn't even have time to react when Jiraya buried his hands into their chests, breaking ribs like they were twigs.
Honestly, Jiraya didn't know what they were thinking in the first place, though he blamed the preliminaries. You let one genin get the better of you and suddenly everyone and their mother think they can take you on.
Properly Paranoid: Naruto, since the Council is really out to get him. Sarutobi was disturbed when Kabuto informed him of this, creating a chain of paranoia that is still growing out as of chapter 14.
Reasonable Authority Figure: The Sandaime. After half of the crap Naruto has come out with, most leaders would have sent him to jail and interrogation asap, let alone cover for him with the council.
"I asked is it worth it?" Gaara said louder. "Do you really want to sink your life into this... endeavor. To toil away for years, maybe decades, suffering indignity after indignity, just for a chance of a few empty words of praise from your tormentors? Your situation doesn't seem to be quite as hopeless as mine is – you could make a life for yourself elsewhere. Somewhere where no one knows what you are… where the deck hasn't been stacked against you from the very beginning."
Naruto said nothing.
"You don't know," Gaara stated. It wasn't a question.
Petulant Brat: A difference from the rest of "Naruto grow strong" fics, here Naruto is not treated like a poor woobie messiah waiting to happen, but explores the kind of personality a loud, confrontational brat who decided to attack his teammates in their first encounter should have and how to grow out of it.
The Spymaster: Sasori's role in Akatsuki. He managed to create an International net equal to one of the Great secret Villages for a quarter of its cost. He was so good that even after several years, Pain had barely managed to return it at 1/4 of it's original size
The Stations of the Canon: Played with and Subverted. While the fic follows several of them "Genin Exam, Mizuki fight, Team 7 introduction, Land of Waves, Chunin Exam", each one got a new flavor, changing the thematic of the story then shot to hell when Akatsuki entered the picture in Land of Waves, ending with the destruction of Hidan, Kakuzu and the Land of Waves; the forest of Death is against The Sand Sibling Team and the Sound Four and right now Orochimaru decided to make his move during the Tsunade arc along with Itachi and Deidara group.
The Stoic: Sasori. He just doesn't posses the muscles anymore.
Super Senses: Naruto has such a keen sense of hearing that he can detect Anbus from streets away. Too bad Kakashi has realized this and already can go around it.
Naruto. A difference from Canon, Naruto is rubbish in a hand to hand combat and a complete incompetent with weapons (outside Kunais) and never learned Kage Bunshin. Instead he has become a master of indirect fighting, sealing, and puppetry, making a war of attrition against his opponents. At least until chapter 14 when the Kyubi decided to give him a "hand", making him, as pointed by Jiraiya, the second coming of Tsunade.
Sakura, who is at the moment trying to find ways to use her brain to outcome her shallow pools of chakra. Her solution: A Chakra leech technique.
Unskilled, but Strong: Naruto with Sealing. Normal masters take years of study because they had to horribly cheat to create seals, since the energy necessary could easily kill a normal Ninja. Naruto simply paves this problems with wave after wave of Chakra.
Victory By Endurance: Like in Canon, Naruto out endures his enemies. Only instead of wave after weave of clones and resilience, he use traps, bombs and poisoned Kunais to wear them out. The result is mostly the same.
Visual Pun: Naruto painted overnight the Hokage Tower bright Pink to tell the Hokage He was a giant Dick. Even the Hokage was impressed.