Fan Fic: George Weasley And The Computational Error
The universe knows that J. K. Rowling
is bad at math and it is used to ignoring the computational errors it comes across. And if an extra Weasley twin is running around in 1989, it probably won't notice—even if that twin happens to be forty years old and from the future.
Basically, a George Weasley goes back in time to save Fred fanfic with some bizarre twists on the Peggy Sue
genre. There is no mental time travel, but the person who sent him back makes it so that whenever Fred drinks pumpkin juice, Old George starts or ceases possessing his younger counterpart. Also, George is not allowed to let the fact he's a time traveler leave his head for a year or the universe will notice he doesn't belong and it'll kick him out. These two facts combine to make no one trust this "Saintlike One" who can possess Young George and knows far too much.
Written by pisoprano. You can read it here.
This story provides examples of:
- Adaptation Distillation: Invoked for the climax. There's George as Quirrellmort in Chamber of Secrets resurrecting Voldemort after killing Dumbledore so that Harry can defeat him.
- Batman Gambit: George's attempt to scam the universe.
- Also his attempt to destroy Voldemort.
- Becoming the Mask: George becomes legitimately crazy from being possessed by Voldemort
- Bittersweet Ending: Dumbledore and Voldemort are the only casualties, but Old George ends up insane in the process (though it is implied that he'll eventually recover).
- Blatant Lies: George does a lot of this, primarily when acting as Charlemagne and when he's possessed by Voldemort.
- Break the Cutie: Almost everyone who is cute in any way gets this eventually.
- Bullying a Dragon: Old George and the young pranksters annoy Voldemort at every available opportunity.
- Chekhov's Gun: The fact that one of the only things George was able to take with him was his wand. It is used multiple times to confirm his identity.
- The fact that George has an undetectable extension charm on his pocket.
- Convenient Coma: Anytime George possesses himself, he goes into one (unless he's used Legilimency and the Imperius Curse on himself before hand). It comes in handy while looking for a unicorn.
- Crappy Holidays: When George is more or less alone on Christmas. Subverted for April Fool's Day.
- Crazy-Prepared: It's implied that Old George kept Gryffindor's sword in his pocket for a year, and that was before he was even possessed by Voldemort. Of course, he may have had Fred leave it in his pocket at a later date, but he's still over-prepared.
- Old George also appears to be this when Fred, Young George, and Lee try to prank him. Of course, almost all of the pranks they tried were attempted by him before, but even when they make a truly random prank, he still takes it in stride.
- Demonic Possession / Symbiotic Possession: Fred, Young George, and most people when they find out about the Saintlike One think he's doing the former when it is actually the latter. It's definitely the former when it comes to Voldemort, though.
- Deconstruction Fic: Deconstructs a lot of Peggy Sue tropes and eventually deconstructs itself.
- Determinator: George will do anything to make sure Fred survives this time.
- Don't Call Me Sir: Invoked when "James Oliver" meets the three Hogwarts pranksters.
- Figure It Out Yourself: George sends Dumbledore on the Horcrux Hunt without all the information, as that will make the Saintlike One seem even more suspicious than he already is. This backfires with a vengeance because George forgot that the first Horcrux Dumbledore found on his own was the ring that killed him. Afterwards, George is more forthcoming.
- Fighting from the Inside: When learning Occlumency, Young George does this. Old George also does so against Voldemort, eventually failing.
- Future Me Scares Me
- Genre Savvy: George's nieces and nephews have written fanfic and he's familiar with some of it.
- Harsher in Hindsight: All the joking about George being insane becomes much less funny upon second reading.
- In-universe, after Old George finds out how Fred unlocked the Marauder's Map.
- Help Yourself In The Future
- Heroic Sacrifice: Harry gets to do one again. But George's is probably worse.
- Impersonation Gambit: George claims that he's Mundungus' long lost friend Charlemagne. It helps that George has heard Dung's stories about him, and the fact that Charlemagne has and will continue to be missing for decades.
- Inane Blabbering: When George pretends to be insane. And when he actually goes insane.
- Infraction Distraction: Mundungus thinks George had him visit Azkaban to steal the wands of convicts. While that is useful, the real reason is so George can contact Sirius and convince him to escape.
- Is This a Joke?: George's initial reaction to being offered the chance to jump back in time.
- Jumped at the Call
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Some of the stuff in the Memory Book. Special mention goes to using the term "JK-verse."
- Loophole Abuse: How George is able to get the cup Horcrux.
- Mad Oracle: George claims to Voldemort that he's an artificially created seer that went wrong.
- Meaningful Echo: The story concludes with George saying Fred's last words before he died.
- Also happens when Young George starts telling his family the story of his older self.
- Meaningful Name: The Saintlike One.
- Mental Time Travel: Invoked but subverted.
- Mood Whiplash: Oh boy...
- Subverted with Chapters 10 and 11, which Word of God says were originally part of the same chapter, but she split them to lessen the whiplash a bit.
- Mundane Made Awesome: Pumpkin juice. Also, grading papers as a means of secret communication and making Voldemort bored.
- Mysterious Employer: George is sent back in time by a mysterious voice known only as "The Trickster." He eventually finds out that it's a time traveling Lysander Scamander who wants George to send someone else back in time and to save his grandma.
- Mysterious Past: Since George isn't allowed to talk about where he comes from, he's got one of these in all of his various personas.
- Mythology Gag: All over the place.
- The spattergroit cure George suggests is what a painting tried to convince Ron to use when he visited St. Mungo's in Order of the Phoenix.
- Elvendork. It's unisex.
- Fred suggests that a gnome would probably have stolen George's beans, which gnomes in the video games do.
- TROLL! IN THE DUNGEONS!
"Professor Oliver": A word of advice: never trust the Defence professor!
The Trickster: It'll be like you died and your body was lost in Majorca, never to be found.
The Trickster: Obscure reference, never mind.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero / Oh, Crap: Happens to Old George multiple times, most notably when he finds out Dumbledore went to Gaunt Shack and when Voldemort decides to possess him.
- Noodle Incident: Many of the pranks mentioned never happen onscreen.
- Not So Different: This is what happens when the person possessing you is you.
- Obfuscating Insanity: Lots. George pretends to be insane so that he's sent to St. Mungo's instead of Azkaban when Mundungus and Aberforth find out he isn't who he says he is. It turns into a running joke that everyone claims George to be insane, which makes it all the worse when he has to fake insanity to Voldemort and eventually become legitimately insane.
- Only One Me Allowed Right Now: Why most people can't use long-range time travel. The universe acknowledges twins as an exception and since it's bad at counting anyway, it just thinks the miscount is its own fault.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "YOU WILL! NOT! FORGET! WHO! I! AM!"
- Refuge in Audacity: It wouldn't be a story about Fred and George if there wasn't this.
George: I just have to read my mind without controlling myself and go into a coma — I'll be so helpless, no unicorn could resist me.
- Reality Warper: More or less how long-range time travel works. The trick is to exist long enough that you don't disappear in a Puff of Logic.
- Sarcastic Confession / Will Not Tell a Lie: When Old George is the Saintlike One he refuses to lie. He does, however, have a tendency to phrase things a bit unbelievably.
George: I'm George Weasley, also known as Fred, Gred, Georgie, Your Holeyness, Harry Potter, Tentacula, and, of course, the Saintlike One.
- Sequel Hook: Although the author doesn't plan on writing more, she's left enough for there to be more than one sequel.
- Shout-Out: Also all over the place.
- Spanner in the Works: George is usually his own spanner, but occasionally someone else messes up his plans too. Also deliberately subverted with the case of Hermione, who was petrified before she did something to throw off George's plans.
- Stable Time Loop: Mentioned by name and averted. The whole point is to break this in such a way that the universe doesn't notice until too late.
- Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard: Tonks says this about Young George being possessed. And about the Saintlike One wanting her to rob Bellatrix's vault for him.
- Trapped in the Past: Well, more like trapped in the present after George breaks time travel for everyone to send Remus farther back.
- Trust Password
- Twin Switch: Frequent. Old George is the only one who is consistently good at telling them apart, though some others are getting better.
- Villainous Breakdown: Done by Old George of all people.
- Was It Really Worth It?: Discussed.
- Writers Cannot Do Math: Exploited.
- Younger Than They Look: Invoked so that George's story of fighting during the war against Voldemort while a teenager holds water. Also noted as being the case for Severus Snape, which doubles as an Actor Allusion.