Fanfic / But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci

But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci (found here on Sufficient Velocity and here on AO3) is a The DCU Alternate Universe Fic written by Acylion (Acyl for short) and began as the following writing prompt on Reddit:

Jack Napier, a.k.a. the Joker. After years of madness, he's finally sane. But there's something wrong. Something's not right. According to his psychiatrist, there's no Bat. Nobody in Gotham City has heard of a superhero named Batman. The Justice League doesn't have a guy who dresses like a bat.

And that's wrong. That can't be. Because if there's one thing that Jack knows, it's that there can't be a Joker without a Batman.

The story follows the now-sane Jack as he investigates Batman's seeming nonexistence, in turn discovering why Superman is a dick, the Justice League aren't the people DC fans are familiar with, and what happened that fateful night at Crime Alley. And with Batman gone and most superheroes subverted, it falls to Jack to gather allies, save the world, and fill the Bat-shaped hole in history.

You've heard of The Batman Who Laughs…now get ready for The Joker Who Bats.

The story's last update was in early 2020; the author has said that he might return to it if his workload at his job ever returns to pre-COVID levels.

---

But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci provides examples of:

• Adaptational Heroism:
  • The Joker is the most obvious case since he's returned to sanity and is the main hero of the story.
  • Oddly enough, Thaddeus Thawne (Inertia in DC canon), who's normally a complete psychopath. As the Flash of the tyrannical Justice League, he's constantly busy averting disasters, and his lack of perception control meaning he spends subjective centuries running. As a result, Thaddeus is utterly bored by everything and simply doesn't care to do the evil deeds he's usually known for. While far from a good person, he's practically a saint compared to his main timeline counterpart.
• Adaptational Villainy: A result of the restructured timeline is that some characters that were once heroes are now villains, or at least more villainous.
  • Cassandra Cain works for the League of Assassins which contrasts the comics, where she abandoned the assassin life at age eight after being horrified with her first kill.
  • The Justice League as a whole is composed of tyrannical villains who play the part of heroes and control the entire planet. This is due to many of the League's members not being the heroes of the old world, but actual villains like Thaddeus Thawne (the Flash), Ma'alefa'ak (Martian Manhunter) and Circe (Wonder Woman).
    • Green Arrow is an interesting case; while he's still Oliver Queen, this version embraces being a Corrupt Corporate Executive and is dismissive of the "plebs".
    • Superman in this story is downright tyrannical and a Villain with Good Publicity with a propensity for manipulation, violence, and narcissism. Though it's actually subverted because this isn't Clark Kent. It's actually Lex Luthor in Superman's body.
• Adaptational Wimp: In this story, Superman killed Darkseid and took the Omega Effect for himself. While Darkseid is heavily subject to Depending on the Writer, this would be impossible in DC canon as the Darkseid Superman interacts with is actually an avatar of the true Darkseid, who can't be killed nor even leave his home reality without destroying the entire multiverse. The author has stated that this was a deliberate writing choice for the sake of the story. After switching sides, the Father Box reveals that Lex only killed an exceptionally powerful avatar, and that Darkseid is only mostly dead, implying he could eventually recover.
• Adaptation Name Change: Superman is not Clark Kent or Kal-El in this world. His name is Kelex, but everyone calls him Lex.
• All Your Base Are Belong to Us: Upon finding out that Jack and his allies are operating out of Sivana's base on Venus, the Justice League promptly sends a powerful task force to kill them all. Despite the Calculator's betrayal, Jack's group escapes relatively unscathed, while most of the Leaguers are either killed or badly wounded.
• Ambiguous Situation: It's not known what exactly happened to most of the heroes who aren't on the new timeline's Justice League. Superman is possessed by Lex Luthor, Oliver Queen is the same if a bit of an asshole, Bruce Wayne and & J'onn J'onnz are confirmed to be dead, Blue Beetle has been taken over by his Scarab, and Booster Gold was immune to the time reset and is in hiding, but the fates of most of the original heroes has never been elaborated on; they might have been killed off before they could become heroes like Bruce, or they might have just been manipulated into never experiencing the circumstances that caused them to become heroes (i.e. Diana might have remained in Themyscira, thus never becoming Wonder Woman).
• Beeping Computers: Lex's Father Box only speaks with a TING! sound effect, though everyone understands what it's saying. However, Green Arrow can't understand it for some reason, and it's left as an Ambiguous Situation whether the problem is with Oliver, or that the Father Box can only communicate with people who are at least a little crazy (which wouldn't be that unbelievable for something created on Apokolips).
• Beware the Nice Ones: After becoming sane, Jack/Joker is a lot more polite, if snarky and perpetually joking, but he's still the Joker, and he can be legitimately terrifying when the situation calls for it.
• Beware the Superman: This Superman is actually Lex Luthor, and he uses that power in all the terrifying ways it would imply. He controls the entire world through a mix of wealth, media manipulation, and unstoppable power. To make matters worse, he killed Darkseid and took the Omega Effect for himself, and knows the Anti-Life Equation.
• Big Bad: Superman is this for the story and world at large. He leads the now malicious Justice League, practically controls the entire world, and is not only Lex Luthor, but is the reason why Batman doesn't exist anymore and the timeline is messed up.
• Cardboard Prison: In the beginning chapters, it really doesn't take long for Jack to break out of Arkham. Considering this is Arkham Asylum, it's not all that surprising.
• Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: It's discussed in various conversations the author had with commentators, who note that since the Joker is mostly recruiting villains, a "sudden but inevitable betrayal" is a given. The author confirmed that yes, there was backstabbing in the cards, though he didn't want to overuse it for fear of the trope becoming stale. Calculator, who's become the avatar of the Metal, is the traitor. He wants to remain in the altered timeline, so he backstabs Joker's group, and he still doesn't trust the Justice League, so he deliberately withheld information to lure them into a battle they couldn't win.
• Crapsack World: It's more subtle than it would have been if, say, Darkseid had taken over, but the DC Earth is much worse off thanks to being under the control of the tyrannical incarnation of the Justice League, with Gotham being a standout example.
• Composite Character: Jack in this story is a mixture of different versions of the Joker. He has the identity of "Jack Napier" and there's some implication that he killed the Waynes like the Tim Burton version, as well as the backstory of the version from The Killing Joke, and once had Mr. Mxyzpltk's powers like the version from Emperor Joker.
• Control Freak: The Justice League, but Superman especially, dominate and control the entire world and manipulate the media to ensure the loyalty and devotion of the Earth's populace. They also monopolize and take any time travel technology for themselves because Lex Luthor doesn't want anyone undoing his new world.
• Cyborg: Both Superman and the Eradicator are this. Superman's body has been cybernetically augmented and contains the digitized mind of Lex Luthor, which controls it, while Eradicator is an artificial intelligence inhabiting a cyber-Kryptonian clone of Kara Zor-El.
• Death of a Child: The major turnpike that caused the timeline to change was when the then eight-year-old Bruce Wayne was killed in the alley alongside his parents.
• Didn't See That Coming:
  • Lex Luthor reworked the timeline so that Bruce Wayne was killed alongside his parents in Crime Alley, preventing Batman from existing. He certainly didn't count on the Joker going sane and only having recollections of the previous timeline. Then again, no one would ever count on the Joker going sane.
  • During Superman's fight with Eradicator and Jack, absolutely none of them were expecting Superman's Father Box to suddenly turn on him and join with the Joker mid-fight.
• Empowered Badass Normal: Jack typically has to find ways to give himself superhuman abilities to better combat the members of the League and other threats since he's not using his lethal gimmicks. He first uses an inertia belt to take hits from Superman, and later uses a League Flight Ring when invading the Fortress of Solitude with Cassandra Cain. To top it all off, he later gains a White Lantern ring, which is basically as strong as a Green Lantern ring at its weakest.
• Enemy Mine: Many villains don't like the Joker because, well, he's the Joker. However, either because they learn of what Lex's timeline manipulations did to their original lives or just have a bigger beef with the League, they're willing to work with him to set things right.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: While Dr. Sivana's isn't married with children, he does admit that if he was, he'd do everything in his power to protect them. When he realizes that Luthor's tampering with the timeline retgonned his family, he's downright furious. Jack manages to recruit the Calculator and Talia al Ghul with the same method since their kids were erased from the timeline as well, though the former becomes a subversion, as his children weren't actually erased. He only goes along with Jack's scheme to sell them out to the League.
• Expendable Clone: Cadmus can clone back any Justice League members who die in the line of duty, which is why Nightwing and Flamebird get killed off multiple times. This does have its limits; it can't bring back any equipment that was lost with the person, if the clone-ee is still alive then the copy will be a new person entirely, and Martians can't be cloned properly.
• Face of an Angel, Mind of a Demon: Superman looks exactly as he always does; The hunk with a Heroic Build and the iconic cowlick hair he's known for. But in this series, he's pretty much as bad as Superdickery makes him out to be. This is because it's actually Lex Luthor hijacking Superman's body.
• Foreshadowing:
  • The Father Box tells Superman that Jack bears remnants of the 5th dimension and is connected to the White Entity. Later on, both of these things would come back to haunt the main plot; Mr. Mxyzptlk is the one who brought Jack back to sanity, and the Entity directly empowers him as a White Lantern.
  • Punch and Jewelee note that the Calculator takes calls 24/7, as if he never sleeps. As it turns out, he's no longer human, but an avatar of the Metal.
• Gender Flip: Eradicator is female here while male in the mainline comics and animated adaptations, due to the machine intelligence being placed in an inert clone of Kara Zor-El.
• Greater-Scope Paragon: Batman may no longer exist, but his heroism, what he stood for, and what he means to the world are what drive Jack to Set Right What Once Went Wrong. Even those that learn of him are inspired to stand up and join Joker in his quest to bring back the old timeline.
  Jack (to Talia): Want me to come out and say it? The world deserves the Bat. It needs the Bat. But all it has is the Joker. I'm here, and the Bat isn't. That's not right.
• Homing Lasers: Jack pieces together that something's very wrong with the world around him when Superman's heat vision follow him in a manner disturbingly identical to Darkseid's Omega Beams.
• The Immune: Jack is shockingly unaffected by the friggin Anti-Life Equation of all things. When it's used on him, he quite literally laughs it off. This is because, thanks to his time as Emperor Joker, he carries elements of a 5th dimensional soul-structure and also carries the White Light of life.
• In Spite of a Nail: Despite the story's premise being that the new timeline has no Batman, one does eventually show up... Jack himself.
• Kansas City Shuffle: Jack and his allies send several criminals to try and steal various pieces of time travel technology. As Lex knows by now that Jack remembers the original timeline, he obviously concludes they're trying to Set Right What Once Went Wrong, and has every known time travel method locked down. However, it then turns out Jack had already figured that he'd need to eliminate Lex before he could feasibly go about fixing things; the raids were meant to fail, as a distraction for Jack's real objective: stealing the Eradicator AI from the Fortress of Solitude.
• Mythology Gag: The title of the story is one to Watchmen and the famous "But Doctor, I am Pagliacci" joke Rorschach monologues about.
• Outside-Context Problem: Jack/Joker ends up being this to the League since he's the only one besides Superman/Lex Luthor to remember the previous timeline (at first). Despite his regained sanity, this makes him more of a Wild Card since he isn't exactly acting like he usually would and knows things he legitimately shouldn't. The fact that he's flat out immune to the Anti-Life Equation due to the events of the Emperor Joker incident adds to this.
• Rainbow Pimp Gear: Jack's combined Lantern suit. He's very powerful with it because he's using all 7 Power Rings, but as he lampshades heavily, he looks completely ridiculous, not that he cares too much. When the rings merge, it's replaced with a much less horrendous White Lantern outfit.
• Really Gets Around: In an omake chapter, Jack tells Talia and Selina the long and complicated love life of Bruce Wayne and all the women he's been with across the years and different continuities.
• Reasonable Authority Figure:
  • Count Vertigo makes it clear that all of his tech was developed by himself using money from his own coffers, not his country, and that he keeps his villainy seperate from how he runs his country.
  • Black Adam is a surprisingly good ruler to Kahndaq, and implying that he rules only through fear is a good way to get his hackles up. Despite worshipping Ancient Egyptian gods, he understands that Kahndaq's population is now majority-Islamic and hopes to inspire people to his religion instead of forcing them.
• Ret-Gone: This is revealed to be what happened to cause such a drastically different timeline. Lex Luthor, now in the body of the Man of Steel, rewrote the timeline so that Bruce Wayne died in Crime Alley, and as a result, Batman never existed. Not only that, but he also went out of his way to eliminate any perceived threats before they could become his enemies, such as Barry Allen and J'onn J'onzz.
• Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory:
  • It becomes increasingly clear that something changed the world, but for some reason Jack retains his memories of the original timeline. Eventually, Mr. Mxyzpltk reveals that the time Joker stole his powers made Jack immune to Lex's changes to the time stream.
  • Booster Gold, having been outside of the timeline, also naturally remembers how things should be.
• Speaks in Shout-Outs: While not overly so like Deadpool, Jack tends to drop either overt or subtle pop-culture references in a lot of his jokes and dialogue. Even when he's musing on something, he can't help but do this in his head.
• Spot the Imposter: Jack is able to tell that this Superman is Lex Luthor even without the Mobius chair due to his manner of speech and posturing. He talks in a very stilted, elaborate manner and stands as if he's above everything else, all of which are traits that Luthor possesses.
• Superdickery: Superman and the League may pose themselves as heroes, but most of them are total jackasses only interested in power. Ollie even lampshades this when Superman's actions in North Rhelasia lead to Superdickery trending online. Again.
• Superpower Lottery: Any version of Superman that's evil would be this to a terrifying level, but this version takes it up a notch. Flying Brick with Super-Speed and Super-Strength of the highest order? Check. The intellect and mind of Lex Luthor? Check. The Omega Effect (albeit a weaker version) gained from killing Darkseid? Check. The fucking Anti-Life Equation. Check. Safe to say he's this at its most horrific.
• Take That!: When Jack calls out Superman to fight via video announcement, he leans in the fourth wall on how their first fight, called "Batman versus Superman", had poor production, terrible scripting, wooden acting, and lousy resolution.
• Take Up My Sword: After grainy video emerges of Jack beating up Superman with a super-powered baseball bat, the internet starts to dub him Batman. Jack is very reluctant to take on the name, even if no one in this timeline knows what it used to mean, but he eventually accepts it.
• That Man Is Dead: Jack's attitude towards the Joker, as his regained sanity means he's very ashamed of what he did as the insane clown. Interestingly enough, he also feels this about the original Jack persona, as after being the Joker for so long he's simply not a mediocre comedian either.
• Token Good Teammate:
  • Green Arrow may be cruder than his mainstream comics counterpart, but he's probably one of the only morally decent high-ranking members of the League. It also helps that unlike the rest of the League, he's actually Oliver Queen and not an Evil Counterpart of the other Leaguers posing as their worst enemy.
  • Black Adam is associated with the League, but without Captain Marvel to distract him, he's actually a fairly good ruler.
• Wham Line:
  • Jack manages to hook himself up to a discount Mobius Chair to see everything that's wrong with the world. When he gets around to asking why things are like this, the chair shows him Superman... and Jack realizes who this Superman truly is.
    Jack: Lex.
  • What Superman says to Jack while interrogating him, followed by Jack's response to it:
    Superman: loneliness plus alienation, plus fear, plus despair...
    Jack: What's that? Your dating app profile?
• Willfully Weak: After Jack gains a White Lantern ring, he mostly avoids using it because he knows the catastrophic levels of damage the ring can cause and would prefer not to escalate things or cause too much collateral destruction. Eradicator deconstructs this and points out that him constantly holding back means that he's failing at regulating the strength of his constructs, making them easy to destroy.
• Wretched Hive: Gotham without Batman (or Wayne Enterprises, for that matter) is a decaying ruin of crime and corruption. Harleen notes that her apartment is in a good part of town, which more or less means that the people who break into your car usually aren't going to tow it away and sell it for scrap.

---