"But do not despair. You can still write fanfic. All you have to do is enrol and pass The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. OFUM offers a wide range of subjects as diverse as Evil Is as Evil Does 101 taught by the esteemed Sauron himself and Poetry 202 with highly acclaimed author of 'Merry Dol and Dong Dillo: How to keep your neighbours out'; the one and only Tom Bombadil. Our esteem teaching staff also includes other well-known residences of Middle-earth. Upon successful completion you will be given a license to write LotR fanfic. All clear?"The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth is a fanfiction making fun of bad Middle Earth fanfiction, and the Genre Popularizer of Official Fanfiction University. Plot: Bad fanfic writers are brought to Minas Tirith, to learn writing better stories at OFUM.You can visit its home page and read First Year (FF.net link, A03 link and Second Year (Lotr fanfiction link, A03 link.
- Added Alliterative Appeal: The characters attempt to get rid of the urple with something called Wormtongue's Wonder Wash. Surprisingly, it works.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: "Sauron would going to roast her for breakfast. He would make her grow long pointy nails. He would flunk her." (OK, the latter might be pretty bad for a fangirl, who'd have to leave Middle-earth.)
- Author Avatar: Miss Cam is a stand-in for Camilla Sandman.
- Companion Cube: Toey the toe ring, BreadLegs, RollFeet
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: One punishment involved having to write lines in "Urple" ink, Urple being a colour described as a combination of pink and purple in the worst possible way. It's very hard to write when looking at the ink is painful. Or listening to Bombadil poetry for a whole day.
- Did Not Get the Girl:
- Averted with Gimli.
- Played straight with Legolas.
- Evil Versus Evil: Morgoth vs. Sauron. They are always arguing and fighting about who is the best Dark Lord.
- Eviler Than Thou: Morgoth vs Sauron
- Fangirl: Many of the girls at school, of course.
- Fictional Colour: Urple
- Fisher Kingdom: Type 2. All of the attendants were human on Earth of course, but if you enter "elf" under "race" in your enrolment paper, you'll become an elf as long as you stay at OFUM.
- Good Is Not Nice: Elrond! Assigns a crap-load of homework, and prone to temper-tantrums when someone gets their facts wrong.
- Love Makes You Evil: All of the Legolas fangirls are willing to stab each other.
- Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls: But you knew that already.
- Parental Sexuality Squick: Legolas doesn't want to hear about his parents' romantic escapades."Is it any wonder we get written as bunnies, doing everyone at every opportunity?" Legolas said darkly. To his amazement, his father only smiled.
"Alas, they do not realise that since we do not arrange marriages among Elves and marry only when we are most certain it is love, we like to enjoy the rewards of such a strong love. Your mother and I have enjoyed..."
This time, Legolas put his own hands over his ears and blocked the rest of the sentence out. Some things were the same, be you Elf, Human or Balrog. There were mental images concerning your parents that just weren't right.
- The Prankster: Merry and Pippin, the Urple Bandits.
- Rhymes on a Dime: Lina, after eating cursed Valinor Vegetable Soup.
- Rouge Angles of Satin: A Running Gag. There are many mini-balrogs in the OFUM, named Grimli, Gimly, Aragon, Bromir, Borimir, Marry, Gandolf, Gandlaf, Bormor, Pippi... apparently they spring to existence when someone spells a Middle-earth's character wrong, or so. It's a convention adopted by a very similar series.
- Sadist Teacher: Morgoth and Sauron, unsurprisingly. Also Elrond.
- Spin-Off: OFUs now exist in Redwall, D'ni, The Hidden Leaf village, and several other multiverses.
- Take That!: Aimed at Microsoft and Yahoo in Chapter 14.
- Tempting Fate: Lina has a day where most things go wrong, spends it resisting the urge to ask "What else can go wrong?" because she knows if she does something else will, until one thing too many does and she lets it slip. She then cries out she didn't mean it...to no avail.
- Trapped in Another World: To Middle-earth, of course.
- Yaoi Fangirl: Many of them, but they'll be very disappointed.