Fanfic / The End Is Near

The End is Near (available at Fanfiction.net and Livejournal) is a Lighter and Softer Alternate Universe Death Note fan fiction by Tierfal.

Mello only wants his Cocoa Puffs, but Near just has to spoil his quest for sugar-laden cereal by disappearing, leaving behind nothing but puzzle pieces. Since Near would never, ever leave toys lying around, Mello deduces that something's amiss. He grabs Matt, and the two of them head off to Japan to enlist the help of the Great Detective L— and, by extension, the pretty-boy L's handcuffed to— in recovering the white-haired wonder.

That's where the fun begins.

Chock-full of puns, UST, crossdressing, Double Entendre, and other things of that nature, it's a well-done AU that forgets neither that Canon does, in fact, exist, nor that it itself is supposed to be really, really funny.

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The End is Near provides examples of:

• Brand Names Are Better: Mello concedes that Light might not be so bad— after all, the boy did buy him brand-name chocolate chips.

• Chekhov's Gun: The white chocolate bar contains the key to the Kinky Chain.

• Everyone Can See It: There's a betting pool among the Wammy kids on how long it will take Matt and Mello to hook up.

• Fan Art: L from Chapter 19 and Mello from Chapter 25.
• Fangirl: Light is pretty popular with quite a few of the girls at Wammy's House.
• Fan Nickname: In-universe example. Mello christens L and Light's handcuffs the Kinky Chain.
• For Want Of A Nail: In this ficverse Light never regains his Kira memories because Higuchi burns the notebook during the Chase Scene.

• Gotta Catch 'Em All:
  Mello: It's like Near's version of a breadcrumb trail, right? So we follow the pieces and find him.
  Light: Are you suggesting that we should comb the entirety of Great Britain for a couple of puzzle pieces?

• I Need a Freaking Drink: Matt at the club. Too bad he's the designated driver.
• Incredibly Lame Pun: Mostly courtesy of Matt. If we count them all, we'll be here all day.

• It Amused Me: Mello wants to see someone's head get bitten off, even if it's his own. L tries to point out to him that Teaching Light Anger is a suicidal idea...

• Lampshaded Double Entendre:
  Light: Higuchi's still raving. Apparently he just says the same thing over and over-'Everyone who touched it should be dead.'
  L: Touched what?
  Mello: Bow chicka bow wow.

• Not What It Looks Like
  The eyes of the young woman with the room service cart fixated immediately on the glinting silver chain between the shirtless Light and his rumpled companion.
  Ryuzaki paused tactfully. "Whatever it looks like," he told her, "rest assured that that is not what it is."
  Somehow, she didn't look convinced.

• Running Gag:
  • Light's imaginary advice column.
  • Light overhearing Imagined Innuendo conversations between Mello and Matt that are invariably not what they look like... except for the one time he doesn't assume that he'll regret seeing what's going on behind that door.
  • His lack of creativity is disheartening.

• Sealed Evil in a Can: Light. He still has his watch... and in this ficverse it's implied that the existence of the scrap in the watch alone is what is allowing Higuchi to keep his memories... so if Light ever fiddles with it he could potentially become Kira again...
• Shout-Out:
  • "...Cal and his stuffed tiger mascot..."; many to various video games.
  • "I am an agent of chaos." "Do you know what a dog does when it catches a car?"
• Shower Scene: Light sings in the shower.
• Sickeningly Sweet: Several in-universe examples. Matt wonders if you can get cavities from cuteness.

• This Song Goes Out to TV Tropes: This song goes out to "Matty-Cake Bakersman" from "your fluorescent friend."

• Unsettling Gender-Reveal: Crossdressing Mello to Falstaff who he's been flirting with all evening.
• Van in Black: Matt and Mello make a bet whether there's one involved in Near's kidnapping. There's not.

• What Did I Do Last Night?: Played with. Mello pranks Light by crawling into his bed while Light's sleeping off a night of drink and dancing.

• Yaoi Fangirl:
  "Man, if all you had to do to get the royal treatment around here was to make out with another guy, Matt was just going to—
  Um. Nothing."

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