is a cracky Harry Potter AU Fan Fiction
in which the first War with Voldemort never ended and Tom Marvolo Riddle is Harry's biological father.
Harry Riddle provides examples of:
- Alternate Universe Fic
- Artifact of Doom: Grindelwald's necklace which is a horcrux.
- Attention Whore: Harry has to do really outrageous things to get his father's attention—be it positive or negative.
- Aunt Pennybags: Bellatrix Lestrange spoils Harry rotten.
- Bad Powers, Good People: Harry uses the Cruciatus curse on the troll attacking Hermione.
- Conspicuous Consumption: Harry and Draco once tried to spend all of their allowance in one afternoon. They failed miserably.
- Crack Fic
- Dating Catwoman: Lily's affair with Tom Riddle.
- Deadpan Snarker: Harry and Draco.
- Dysfunction Junction: Lampshaded when the professors express doubts that Neville would be so chummy with Harry if he knew that Harry's "auntie Bellatrix" tortured his parents into insanity.
- Enemy Mine: Harry's later interactions with Dumbledore.
- Equal-Opportunity Evil: Despite who raised him Harry ascribes to this philosophy because he figures he could always use more minions.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: There's a touching scene on Platform 9 3/4 where Voldemort bids his son good-bye for the school year (but then seeing as Voldemort is Sociopathic Manipulative Bastard it's left ambiguous how sincere their relationship really is.)
- Evil Overlord: Voldemort and Grindelwald
- Evil Overlord List: #5 Harry stores the Philosopher's Stone away in the old Gaunt vault at Gringott's. #12 Harry is the child advisor to Voldemort who gets him to consider the flaws in his plans such as how it's kind of pointless and stupid to torture stupid minions for being stupid and that it can come back to bite you later.
- Evil Parents Want Good Kids: Voldemort wants his son to stay safe and out of trouble.
- Evil Versus Evil: Voldemort aids his son in destroying Grindelwald's horcrux.
- Eviler Than Thou: Grindelwald regards Voldemort as just an upstart. Also Harry is completely unfazed by Filch's threats:
Filch: Oh yes. Hard work and pain are the best teachers if you ask me. It's a pity they aren't still using the old punishments. You probably wouldn't be so quick to break the rules if you'd end up hanging by your thumbs from the ceiling for a day or two.
Harry: Sounds like something my father does to people on his days off.
- Fail O'Suckyname: Harry begins to wish that his family had introduced him as "Harry Voldemort" because then there would be fewer opportunities for puns.
- For Want of a Nail: Voldemort is Harry's father and he raises him instead of killing him so the war never ended.
- Forbidden Friendship: Harry initially befriends Hermione despite her blood status because he figures he could always use more minions and because such a move is bound to get daddy's attention.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Draco would never deign to speak to Hermione and Neville if not for Harry.
- Hypocrite: Harry discovered his father to be one ever since finding out about his parentage (though he's smart enough not to say it to his face.)
- Imagine Spot: Harry has a couple when he considers gifting his dad with the Philosopher's stone he imagines there's only two ways it could go: either his father would tell him 1) "I'm So Proud of You" or 2) "You Have Outlived Your Usefulness."
- In the Blood: the staff of Hogwart's freaks when they learn that Voldemort's son is attending their school this year.
- In Spite of a Nail: In Harry's first year at Hogwarts he still faces a disembodied Evil Overlord who's after the Philosopher's Stone.
- Jerk Ass: Ron Weasley
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Harry and Draco
- Living with the Villain: when she began the affair Lily had no idea that that charming man, her lover Tom, was actually Voldemort. Also Harry and Draco's friendship with Hermione and Neville.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Voldemort is Harry's father. Also the Order of the Phoenix is thrown into chaos when they discover that Lily is Harry's mother and he's the child of prophesy.
- May-December Romance: Lily and Tom.
- Mommy Issues: Harry has them ever since Bellatrix told him that his father murdered his mudblood mother.
- Noble Demon: the teachers remark that Harry Riddle is a very Gryffindor-ish Slytherin.
- Noodle Incident: Harry and Draco shared a traumatic childhood experience of getting locked in a Gringott's vault for hours.
- Odd Friendship: Harry and (with much whining about it) Draco befriends Hermione and Neville.
- Only Friend: Harry, at first, to both Hermione and Neville.
- Overlord Jr.: Harry (with Draco being The Dragon jr.)
- Pardon My Klingon: when caught in one of the traps set around the Philosopher's Stone Harry has a momentary breakdown and begins cursing in Parseltongue.
- Prophecy Twist: Well the Prophecy never said "the Dark Lord" is Voldemort... If "the Dark Lord" is Grindelwald than Voldemort also "defies" him.
- Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: in this universe Dumbledore thought he had killed Grindelwald. He didn't know that Grindelwald had made horcruxes.
- Seen It All: Harry has already met most dark creatures out there on his dad's "business trips."
- Shock Value Relationship: Harry befriends Hermione because she's a muggleborn and such a move is bound to get daddy's attention.
- Smug Smiler: Harry and Draco do a lot of smirking.
- Spoiled Brat: Harry and Draco
Harry: Can we go to Diagon Alley anytime soon? The letter demands my reply by today, you know, but I already sent it, so don't worry. But Draco's already gotten all of his stuff. Can I get a snake? I want a snake. Or . . . Can I take Nagini?
Voldemort: No, you may not take my familiar.
- Spoiled Sweet: Harry
- The Stations of the Canon: but Grindelwald has taken Voldy's place as the Big Bad.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Harry bemoans that good minions are hard to come by.
- The Trickster: Harry.
- The Unfair Sex: Lily cheats on James because James was cheating on her.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Harry and Draco
- Your Cheating Heart: James and Lily
- Wake Up, Go To School, Take Over the World: Harry's day in a nutshell..
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Harry with his father.
- Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation: When Harry frequently mentions his father and his "business trips" Hermione gets curious and asks Harry what exactly his dad does for a living. Harry tells her he works in some finance job that's boring and complicated.
- X Meets Y: Harry Potter meets Angel meets Good Omens.