Martin ‘Marty’ Faranan
Played By: Colin Farrell
- Author Avatar: He's an Irish screenwriter named "Martin".
- Berserk Button: Commenting on his drinking is one for him.
- Butt-Monkey: He goes through a lot of bad shit over the course of the film.
- Deadpan Snarker: Has quite a dry wit to him, usually in response to Billy's stupidity.
- Does Not Like Guns: He hates guns and refuses to use them, even in the face of life-threatening danger.
- Fighting Irish: Inverted. Marty is an Actual Pacifist.
- Jerkass: Especially when he's drunk.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: For all his flaws, Marty isn't a bad guy, feels immense guilt when he hurts anyone and is capable of genuine friendship, kindness and empathy.
- Most Writers Are Writers: Marty is a struggling writer who dreams of finishing his screenplay "Seven Psychopaths".
- National Stereotypes: He's an alcholic Irish writer. Billy even lampshades it.
- Only Sane Man: The only character who is not A) insane, B) a criminal or murderer, or C) all of the above.
- Shut Up, Hannibal!: When Charlie is mocking Marty over his men killing Hans:Charlie: Don't you wish you had a gun now?Marty: ...No, I don't. So why don't you go fuck yourself?
- Supporting Protagonist: Billy even points out that Marty's role is observing, and that nobody thinks he's a pussy for it.
Hans Kieslowski
Played By: Christopher Walken
- Actual Pacifist: Never lays a hand on anyone throughout the movie, not even people who are directly threatening him. He does drive his daughter's killer to suicide, but he doesn't get physical to do it.
- Cool Old Guy: He's polite, charming, charismatic and overall good company. And he's played by Christoper Walken so he's naturally this.
- Dark and Troubled Past: He is the Quaker that Marty heard about, having stalked his daughter's killer for years until the killer went mad and committed suicide.
- Dead Man Writing: After his death, Marty finds a tape recorder that contains Hans' suggestions for how Marty could end his screenplay.
- Deadpan Snarker: He reacts to most situations he dislikes with Christopher Walken's Comically Serious wit.
- Real Men Love Jesus: He's a very devout old-fashioned Christian. His faith is specifically mentioned as the source of his confidence and tranquility.
Billy Bickle
Played By: Sam Rockwell
- Affably Evil: He really does want to be Marty's friend. Too bad he's a jerk at best and a sociopath at worst.
- Anti-Hero: Mixture of a Type IV and V.
- Deadpan Snarker: Pretty much every line of his is a sarcastic remark.
- Even Evil Has Standards: in his script animals don't die at the end he puts his life on the line not to kill Bonnie, the dog
- The Heavy: None of the movie would have happened without Billy's actions.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Emphasis on the "jerk", but he does want to be a good friend to Marty. Just that often times, his obnoxiousness and psychopathy gets the better of him.
- Psychopathic Manchild: Of the obnoxious and unpredictable variety.
- Serial-Killer Killer: Arguably so, since most of the mid-level mafia and Yakuza sorts he's targeted, such as the hitmen in the intro, are all killers.
- Wild Card: There's really no telling what Billy will do in any given situation.
Charlie Costello
Played By: Woody Harrelson
- Faux Affably Evil: Charlie can be pretty well spoken and have moments of genuine kindness to Bonnie, but he's mentally unstable and will pretty much kill anything that moves.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: When it comes to his dog. Granted, he is a psychopath, but when his dog walker loses his Shih Tzu, he has her hunted down, tied to a chair, and then starts threatening to murder her. He does settle for shooting the wall behind her when she's found innocent, however.
- Only a Flesh Wound: Double-subverted. When Charlie arrives to reclaim his dog, he makes a show of being unarmed. Billy shoots him in the spine, and then is disgusted to find he was unarmed (save for a flare gun). For the next few minutes, Charlie's paralyzed and helpless, unable to move his legs... until Marty helps him back to his car. Then he's back to normal, revealing that Billy only clipped him ("Just a flesh wound, kid"), and grabs a gun from his glove compartment.
- Pet the Dog: Literally, in the case of his genuine concern for his dog, Bonnie. He also lets his dog caretaker live after finding out about the scam Billy and Hans run, realizing she wasn't at fault.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Charlie makes racist and homophobic comments throughout.
- Psychopathic Manchild: Of the unstable and dangerous variety.
Zachariah Rigsby
Played By: Tom Waits
- Affably Evil: He's nothing but polite and friendly to Marty. He even spares Marty when its clear he's been having a rough time.
- Cool Old Guy: For a serial killer in his later years, he's pretty good company. He's also played by Tom Waits, making him this by default.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Marty forgot to put the message to Maggie at the end of the film? Better go kill him. Though hearing how resigned Marty is to this, Zachariah seems to take pity on him and let him live.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He’s disturbed by his girlfriend’s level of brutality.
- Evil Sounds Deep: He's a brutal serial killer with Tom Waits' legendary gravelly voice.
- Outlaw Couple: With Maggie in the past, two Serial Killers (or Killer Killers) in love who indulged in some spectacularly over-the-top violence.
- Pet the Dog: Despite his initial plans to kill Marty for forgetting to include the message to Maggie in the film, he spares him after all he's been through and even shows him some sympathy.
- Retired Monster: He seems to have retired from the serial killer game, though it is left unclear considering he was perfectly willing to go after Marty if he forgot the message to Maggie.
- Serial-Killer Killer: In the past, where he and Maggie would presumably go hunting for the worst of the worst. We don't see a whole lot of this, though, so how much of it is actually true is a mystery.
Kaya
Played By: Abbie Cornish
- Advertised Extra: She's on the cover with the rest of the characters, but her effect on the plot is actually rather minimal.
Angela
Played By: Olga Kurylenko
Paulo
Played By: Željko Ivanek
- Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: He doesn’t actively betray Charlie, but does get fed up when his boss tries to shift blame to him.
Myra Kieslowski
Played By: Linda Bright Clay
Dennis
Played By: Kevin Corrigan
Larry and Tommy
Played By: Michael Pitt and Michael Stuhlbarg
- Boom, Headshot!: They are killed after a man in a mask shoots their heads off.
- The Cameo: They only appear at the start of the movie before being killed off.
- Seinfeldian Conversation: Their conversation at the beginning.
- Surprisingly Sudden Death: They start the movie while discussing various topics. Suddenly, a man in a mask walks up and blows both of their heads off.
