open/close all folders
The Chairman
Humphrey Lyttelton
- Chairman (1972 - 2007)
- Dirty Old Man: In regards to his relationship with the scorers. Often these comments are played as innocuous Innocent Innuendo s.
- Grumpy Old Man: Often, especially when dealing with a particularly stupid idea. Or Barry.Humphrey: I'm seventy-eight, for Christ's sake!
- Metaphorgotten: His introductions for One Song to the Tune of Another are bizarre and nonsensical. Though they often end with an insult at Colin Sell's expense.
- Not So Above It All: Some times a particular adlib will cause him to corpse. Quite badly.
- Sleepyhead: Often claims to be sleeping through the show from boredom.
- Sophisticated as Hell: A mild mannered Deadpan Snarker… who has to deliver some incredibly crass innuendos every single episode.
- This Is Gonna Suck: He informs Jeremy Hardy he's contractually obligated to tell him it's his turn during a singing round.
Jack Dee
- Chairman (2009 - present)note
- Deadpan Snarker
- The Eeyore: Before a round of "In My Pants", states they have to make him genuinely laugh. "So buckle up, we'll be out of here by Christmas."
- Not So Stoic: Sometimes a joke will appall Jack, and more rarely make him laugh. He's particularly annoyed when "In My Pants" inevitably ends with him cracking, calling it "a stupid game anyway".
- Running Gag: From 2022 onward any particularly dirty innuendo is followed by him grumbling that it was submitted by a media personality.
The Teams
Barry Cryer
- Panellist (1973 - 2021)note
- The Alcoholic: His main persona on the show.
- Big Word Shout: Every time he wins Mornington Crescent.
- Grumpy Old Man: His other persona, not to the same extent as Humph. Lead to everyone joking that Andy Hamilton was being possessed by Barry's spirit because he's sitting in the man's chair.
- Running Gag: Whenever Humph slips up, Barry treats him like an elderly man at a retirement home. This sometimes reached Overly Long Gag levels, apparently because Humph was enjoying it so much and indicating him to continue. Reversed with Jack.
- Sore Loser: After complaining about the rules of Mornington Crescent. Humph occasionally agrees with him but refuses to start the game again due to his complaining. Occasionally he decides to make Barry lose purely on a whim.
- Those Two Guys: Often on the same team as Graeme, and any game of Sound Charades with the two will have them being Hamish and Dougal.
Graeme Garden
- Panellist (1972 - present)
- Mad Libs Catch Phrase: "Bring me the (x) of Alfredo Garcia…".
- During the Late Arrivals at the close of the game, he frequently uses Mr. Bennett-"X", also known as "GORDON BENNET-X!" - prompting the audience to join in.
- Morality Chain: Joking invoked by Jack Dee during one episode where Barry is more tetchy than usual, saying he's usually better behaved when Graeme (who isn't there) is around.
- The Quiet One:
Word of God says he is much more likely to stay quiet before seizing his opportunity with a particularly well-timed pun. - Running Gag: In "Word for Word", giving his word which sounds like he's just responding to what Jack's said, then explaining "that was my word."
Tim Brooke-Taylor
- Panellist (1972 - 2020)
- Butt-Monkey:
- Treated like a child by the rest of the team and generally given the highest-pitched or most feminine songs to sing in the musical rounds. Bullied even when he isn't there.
- In any game of Mornington Crescent. Jack Dee picks on him specifically because he enjoys making Tim suffer.
- Dirty Old Man: During his second-to-last recorded episode, he's much filthier than usual, which Jack is alarmed by, especially when it starts spreading to his teammate, Rachel Parris.
- Inopportune Voice Cracking: During musical rounds, he's often given songs he can't really sing.
- The Load: Willie Rushton says he is this when playing Mornington Crescent.
- Precision F-Strike: During one particular round of "Pick Up Song", he's asked to accompany Dusty Springfield singing "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me". The song immediately cuts off before getting to the lyrics, and between verses Tim lets off an irritated "bastards" before continuing.
- Running Gag: References to him being a teacher are frequently made, using in terms of a Bait-and-Switch where he behaves like a child. Similar remarks are made about his relationship with his mother.
- Frequently complains that The Goodies has never been rebroadcast.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: When playing "Spot the Intro", a game based on lying about what piece of music is playing, Tim is scolded by Jack for playing along. When a piece of music he definitely can recognise (the theme of The Goodies) is played, he tries buzzing in... and the game immediately ends.
Willie Rushton
- Panellist (1974 - 1996)
- Empty Chair Memorial: Of a sort, after he died no one ever took up the position of fourth permanent panelist, the role instead going to different guests each week.
- Sophisticated as Hell
- Unfortunate Names: Fun is often poked at his name (which is English slang for "penis.")
Notable Guests
Stephen Fry
- Guest panellist in 1986–87, 1989, 1997, 1999–2000, 2002, 2007, 2012 & 2019note
- Country Matters: Notoriously inferred that "countryside" would be the act of killing Piers Morgan.
- Sophisticated as Hell: On numerous occasions, notably in the case of the above example. Made better as he always delivers them innocently and politely.
- This Is Gonna Suck: When asked to sing.
Jeremy Hardy
- Guest panellist in 1995, 1998–2007, 2009–12 & 2015–18
- Abhorrent Admirer: The female Sat-Nav, who is inexplicably aroused by his terrible singing voice.
- Butt-Monkey: His terrible voice is even insulted when he is away.
- Dreadful Musician: His singing voice is infamously bad. Naturally, Humph and Jack exploit this for all it's worth. (Colin Sell stated in an interview that Jeremy's singing voice started to improve after a few stage tours, but to maintain the gag, Colin would play the tune in one key during rehearsals and in a different key for recording.)
- Sixth Ranger: Arguably the closest the show ever got to replacing Willie Rushton, quickly becoming the show's most regular guest and serving as a regular panellist on the live tour from its inception up until his death.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: On occasion, is given songs he can sing. Of course, Humph and Jack would follow up with merciless taunting, like the time he managed to sing one song (Madonna's "Hanky Panky" to the tune of "Land of Hope and Glory"), Humph tells him he could've sung to the tune.
Rory Bremner
- Guest panellist in 2016 & 2018
- Brief Accent Imitation: While singing John Lennon's "Imagine" to the tune of "The Muppets Show theme", he starts singing in a Kermit imitation. And still keeps in tune to the song.
- Man of a Thousand Voices: A skilled vocal impressionist, so naturally when he's on it tends to get utilised. And, as mentioned up above, even when he doesn't have to (though he did at one point manage to end up doing a Roger Moore when he was aiming for Alec Guiness).
Rob Brydon
- Guest panellist in 2006–07, 2009, 2011–13, 2015 & 2018note
- Delayed Reaction: At one point, he gets snarky at Jack for mispronouncing a Welsh place name, several minutes after it happened without comment.
- Even the Guys Want Him: Whenever he sings a Tom Jones number (and sometimes when he doesn't), there are frequently references to pants being thrown at him, including Tim and Barry's.
- Hypocritical Humor: Scolds Jack Dee for not pronouncing the name of the river Towy correctly. Then when one of the audience tries correcting Rob's correction, he shoots back "don't be so bloody pedantic".
Sandi Toksvig
- Guest panellist in 1997–2003, 2005, 2010, 2015–16, 2019, 2023
- Hidden Depths: Has a surprisingly good singing voice (though occasionally she'll start off a song an octave too high and regret it a couple of verses later).
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Pretends to have never have heard of Pointless or Pointless Celebrities, which is pretty impressive given she's sitting across from Richard Osman... who co-hosts it.
- One of the Boys: Fits easily in with the boys, so much so that she is one of most popular guest performers.
- Straight Gay: Though after one of Rob's songs, she admits she is feeling a little attracted to him.
Tony Hawks
- Guest panellist in 1995, 1997, 1999–2006 & 2012–23
- Motormouth: Often given very fast songs to sing along to.
- Sixth Ranger: Has pretty much taken over this role since Jeremy Hardy's death, as the most frequent and longest-serving guest (one of the few guests who worked with Willie Rushton on the show, even) and receiving team captain billing on the 2020 tour.
Richard Osman
- Guest panellist in 2016 & 2018–19
- Cloudcuckoolander: On occasion.
- I'm Standing Right Here: He gets pretty irritated when Sandi fails to recognise the existence of Pointless.
Susan Calman
- Guest panellist in 2014–18
- Cloudcuckoolander: In one occasion, Richard Osman was being particularly weird, when Susan manages to out-weird him with an anecdote about tinfoil trousers.
- Large Ham: She's clearly having some fun doing "One Song to the Tune of Another". In fairness, ham is a default for Gilbert and Sullivan...
David Mitchell
- Guest panellist in 2009–11 & 2013
- Dreadful Musician: His first attempt at performing "A Whiter Shade of Pale" has the others miss Jeremy Hardy.
- Epic Fail: During a game of Mornington Crescent, he somehow manages to end up in Milton Keynes without even making a move, at least according to the Sat-Nav.
- Vocal Range Exceeded: The second time he performs "A Whiter Shade of Pale", to the tune of the Muppets Show theme, he actually does pretty well, except at the last line, when his voice does start breaking.
Miles Jupp
Guest panellist in 2013, 2015–17, 2019-2020
- Snark-to-Snark Combat: With Jack Dee, on the subject of Miles standing down as host of The News Quiz.Jack: Finally, Pippa Evans, I would like you to sing the words of "The Laughing Policeman" to the tune of Tina Tur-ner's... to the tune of... can't see it![The audience laughs, over which Miles can be heard laughing hysterically]Jack: To the tune of... you watch it, Jupp! [More audience laughter] Just 'cause you've left your quiz![More audience laughter, accompanied by an "ooh"ing sound]Miles: I respect those who don't have the nerve to!
Victoria Wood
Marcus Brigstocke
Guest panellist in 2011 & 2019–20, 2023
- Cloudcuckoolander: Some of his challenges in Word for Word are very strange indeed, like buzzing for his fear of lobsters.
Rachel Parris
Guest panellist in 2019–20, 2023
- Large Ham: She gets very into doing Celine Dion's "All Coming Back to Me Now".
- Oop North: She and Marcus put on some very heavy Yorkshire accents for a "Sound Charades" where they're doing E.T..
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: A variation in a round of "Word for Word", where she inexplicably said "Challenge!" instead of buzzing... more than once.
Henning Wehn
Guest panellist in 2022, 2023
- Dreadful Musician: Andy Hamilton is initially unclear why he's doing all the singing for "Song Stoppers", until Henning gives it a go. A round of "Pick Up Song" has him sing along to '99 luftballoons', causing Jack to remark he's ruined the song.
- National Stereotypes: Being as he is German, naturally jokes about German stereotypes follow when he's on the show.
John Culshaw
Guest panellist in 2023
- Man of a Thousand Voices: He's provided his Professor Brian Cox, Julien Clary and Fourth Doctor among others on the show.
Others
Colin Sell
- Pianist (since 1975)
The show's regular pianist since 1975, endlessly abused by the host for his poor piano skills.
- Butt-Monkey: Everytime he is introduced, he is the butt of a joke about his awful piano playing skills. Played for Laughs of course.
- Dreadful Musician: Invoked but entirely averted.
- Informed Flaw: Colin is actually a very accomplished musician.
- The Voiceless: Averted on occasion, but as he does not have a microphone we only hear his voice very faintly. Which doesn't stop Humph telling him to shut up.
Samantha
- Scorer (since 1985)
The infamous buxom, blonde bombshell scorer and receiver of many a Double Entendre
- Buxom Beauty Standard: Many of the jokes around her refer to her impressive endowment.
- The Ghost: As with the other scorers, Samantha doesn't actually exist. This didn't stop several letters being sent in complaining about the sexist comments made towards her.
- Put on a Bus: Since the 2010s, she's "appeared" less and less; beginning in 2020, she and Sven routinely alternate as scorers.
- Really Gets Around: Is often mentioned as doing a variety of interesting extra-curricular activities outside the studio.
Monica
- Scorer (occasionally in the 80s)
The less prominent female scorer, she took over from Samantha several times in the Eighties.
- The Ghost: As with the other scorers, Monica doesn't actually exist.
- Hufflepuff House: Hasn't appeared nearly as often as Samantha, in fact she hasn't appeared since the 1980s.
Sven
- Scorer (since 1991)
- The Bus Came Back: An occasional Running Gag from his debut up until 2000, Sven came back in 2009, and since late 2018 he has actually been "appearing" more often than Samantha. From 2020, he routinely alternates with Samantha as the scorer.
- Catchphrase: Jack Dee almost always introduces him as a "rippling tree trunk in trunks".
- Dumb Muscle
- Even the Guys Want Him
- The Ghost: As with the other scorers, Sven doesn't actually exist.
The Mystery Voice
The radio exclusive voice which provides listeners with the answers usually displayed to studio audiences on the "laser display board" (the producer holding up a cardboard sign).- The Voice: of producer Jon Naismith.
The Sat-Nav
A satellite navigation system occasionally brought in to assist the teams in Mornington Crescent.- Abhorrent Admirer: For Jeremy Hardy.Sat-Nav: I love you, Jeremy.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: It's supposed to help with Mornington Crescent, but instead decides to complain, sabotage the players, and demand Jeremy Hardy sing to it.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: It got into a vicious verbal catfight with a Welsh Sat-Nav in one game.
- Commuting on a Bus: Makes rare reappearances every few years.
Mrs. Trellis of North Wales
A regular writer of letters, all sent to the Clue staff at the BBC even if they're addressed to somebody else entirely. Her letters are read as part of the introduction to Mornington Crescent.- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: She constantly writes to Clue about matters having nothing to do with Clue, and often very little to do with the people to whom her letters are actually addressed.
- Failed a Spot Check: Once somehow managed to return a "Clue" audience survey which turned out to in fact be a Virgin Rail customer survey.
- Strongly Worded Letter: Many of her letters are complaints ranging from the mundane (cashiers at Sainsbury's who keep offering membership cards, for example) to the nonsensical.
