Badass Boast / Other


Fairy tales
  • In Maria Morevna, Koshchei's horse has three about its ability to catch up with Ivan and Marya Morevna.
    "Thou mayest sow a measure of wheat," answered the horse, "thou mayest wait till it is grown, harvest and thresh it, grind the grain to flour, and of it bake five ovens of bread to eat, and after that I should be able to overtake them."
    The horse replied: "Thou mayest scatter a measure of barley, wait till it is high, cut it, thresh it, and of the grain brew beer. Thou mayest drink the beer till thou art tipsy and sleep till thou art sober, and still I should be able to overtake them."
    And the horse answered: "Thou mayest strew a measure of flax-seed, wait till it is ripe, and pick, clean and card it. Thou mayest spin thread, weave cloth, sew a garment, and wear the garment into shreds, and even then I should be able to overtake them."

Theatre
  • From Peer Gynt: The Boyg gives up an epic one, even after the standards of Ibsen:
    The Boyg, Peer Gynt. Only one. It is the Boyg who is without wounds, and the Boyg who got wounded. It is the Boyg who died, and the Boyg that lives!
  • Uncle Tom's Cabin: "You may own my body, but my soul belongs to the Lord!"
  • Macduff gets an unusual one in Macbeth, when he learns that Macbeth's "charmed life" is protected from all those born of woman:
    Macduff: Despair thy charm;
    And let the angel whom thou still hast served
    Tell thee, Macduff was from his mother's womb
    Untimely ripp'd. [they fight]
  • In Pokémon Live!, Mewtwo and Giovanni both get these in rapid succession.
    Giovanni: Mewtwo, meet MechaMew2. Quite an improvement, don’t you think? Better-looking, more obedient, and much more powerful!
    Mewtwo: I am the world's most powerful Pokemon.
    Giovanni: Then here's your chance to prove it.

Mythology and Religion
  • God from the Old Testament loves this trope. Chapters 38 to 41 of the book of Job is basically one humongous Badass Boast to Job demonstrating His power and might. And of course, He can do it the understated way too:
    "I am the lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt."
    • And for those of you not familiar with the Bible, he did it via way of ten plagues that brought the entire country to its knees, and specifically designed to show up the premier Egyptian gods.
    • His son too: "I am the way and the truth and the life."
      • "Before Abraham was born, I Am!"
    • "I am alpha and omega, the beginning and the end."
    • "I am." When you're an all-powerful, all-knowing Being, proclaiming your own self-existence is a Badass Boast in and of itself.
    • "My name is Legion: for we are many."
      • Made less impressive when Jesus casts them out of the man and into a herd of swine that promptly dive into the sea and drown.
    • It is a subversion, but you have to admit that this one (Isaiah 14: 13-14) is pretty damn good:
      I will ascend to the heavens;
      I will raise my throne
      above the stars of God;
      I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
      on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.
      I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
      I will make myself like the Most High.
    • In the Gospel of John, there are six statements made by Jesus that begin with the words "I am..." In the original language, that word is the same as how God told Moses to name Him to the Israelites in Exodus. It's no wonder that after every one of those statements the Priests hated Jesus even more: He was claiming to be God!
      • Taken Up to Eleven in Revelation 1:18 where Jesus says "I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades." — he's literally saying that he's not only conquered death, but has absolute authority over it.
    • On the contrary, Jesus has a pretty good one in the Gospel of Matthew when He is betrayed by Judas and handed over to an armed mob. One of the disciples draws his sword, and Jesus asks him "Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and He will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?".
    • David has a pretty awesome one when he tells King Saul that he's going to kill Goliath:
    1 Samuel 17: 34-37 "But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”"
    • Slightly later: "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
    • In 2nd Corinthians chapter 11, Paul gives a sort of Badass Boast, in order to humor the people that he is writing to:
    Corinthians 11:24-33, KJV "Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities. The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not. In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king kept the city of the damascenes with a garrison, desirous to apprehend me:3And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands."
    • Amos 2:13-16:
    "Now then, I will crush you as a cart crushes when loaded with grain. The swift will not escape, the strong will not muster their strength, and the warrior will not save his life. The archer will not stand his ground, the fleet-footed soldier will not get away, and the horseman will not save his life. Even the bravest warriors will flee naked on that day", declares the Lord.
    • Judges 15:16, where Samson defeats the Philistines.
    "''With an ass's jawbone, I've made asses out of them; with the jaw of an ass, I've slain one thousand men"
Various Other
  • From Imperial Dawn: "The fighting will be fierce, the years ahead of us, dark. But only by leaping into that darkness with hardened hearts and hopeful eyes will we ever reach the light."
  • '"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our god to a stick! Don't fuck with the human race!"''
    Anonymous /tg/ poster
  • In connection to the Gregg Landsman boasts above there is a thread for Nobody Dies on spacebattles.com, and one day someone asked what Humanity's boast would be. This was the response:
    We are the human race. We do not feel the need to justify ourselves to anybody. That is all you need to know.
    • Recently, someone made one for Milk. Milk
    We are. Through license of She who is called "Moo" We have come. Though Our essence is wasted and drunk by many, We have come. In Our wake, We leave a boxes made of base paper, metal and glass. Before Us, lies the stomach of many. We are the Lactation of the Mother's Breasts. Drink of the Animal Formula of Suckling Babes and Calcium. We are Milk. We have come (By supermarket/delivery truck to you.)
    Through the License of She who is speaks "Moo" I have come. Though my Essence is solid and pungent, I have come. In my wake, I leave only moldy smell and spoiled milk. By myself, I am paired with two of the blessed bodies and the holy drink. Before me, I lie disgusted to be paired by the Whine. I am borne of the sour age of milk and microbe. Covered in thin film and plastic cage, of the base paper and pungent air. I am Cheese. I come pre-ordered and in variety packages.
    • Bread:
      I am. Through license of It which is named "Gluten", I have come. Though my Source comes from this Base Earth, I have come. In My wake I leave packages of plastic and paper, to be split in two and given fillings of vegetable, meat, and sauce. Before me, I wait to be devoured orally. I am borne of flour, water, salt, and heat; from the mass ovens of this world. I lay as the base of food content for all stomachs. I am Bread. I come in Sourdough, Rye, and Wheat. In the Supermarkets near you!
  • Most, if not all, Professional Wrestling Theme Tunes.
  • An epic one by The Game Overthinker on behalf of all gamers.
    "What do we have to be scared of? We're gamers! We've faced worse than a bunch of busybody anti-gaming censors. We charged the bridge against Bowser. We drew swords at Ganondorf. We outsmarted Doctors Wily, Robotnik, and Cortex. We conquered the Covenent. We liberated Rapture. We caught 'em all, we shot em all, we saved... the mall. WE. BLEW. UP. HITLER'S. HEAD."
  • Classified material beyond this point. Unauthorized access will be monitored, located and dealt with. This is your only warning.
    • We secure. We contain. We protect.
    • We die in the dark so you can live in the light.
    • Mankind must not go back to hiding in fear. No one else will protect us, and we must stand up for ourselves.
    • The Serpent's Hand has a message for the GOC and the Foundation.
    We, the Serpent's Hand, ask both of you this:
    How many KTEs does the Global Occult Coalition catalogue? It must seem like the supernatural is a vast hydra — two new heads sprouting for each that is cut off. How long will you keep cutting?
    How many SCP items does the Foundation contain now? Two thousand? Three thousand? Five? More? How long before there is no more room for prisons to be constructed? Will you put the whole world in a containment cell?
    You admit it to yourselves, privately. The anomalous is on the rise. You cannot hold back the future forever.
    You are the monsters you are so afraid of. Let go of your fear, and join us in the light.
    And if you will not… if you keep imprisoning and killing innocents, if you keep forcing the world to stay in the dark… then you will meet the fate of all the slavers and murderers in the worlds' history before you.
    We will free those you keep imprisoned. We will rescue those you try to kill.
    The Garden is the Serpent's place.
    We are the Serpent's Hand.
  • Slam poet Taylor Mali delivers one about...teaching!
  • Abbott and Costello:
    Guest Star: "Be careful. He eats little people like you for every morning!"
    Costello: "That's me: the breakfast of champions!"
  • The Volvic ads.
    "[...] a wild mineral water that hydrates you till you shout, 'Come on, world, I'll have you for breakfast!"
  • Rak, the giant bipedal aligator from the manhwa Tower of God, to Koon, who just poured his heart out:
    ''So you so saw a female that was fit and made her sit next to the alpha? Are you saying that as if you're proud?" […]
    "If it was me, when I saw a female I considered worthy to sit beside the alpha… I'd snap that alpha's neck and take his place."
    • Or during the Crown Game:
      Koon: Did you say your name was Anak Zahard? It seems you don't know any better since you're just a side character, but protagonists need to come out a little late. That's why we've been waiting all this time! Isn't that right, guys? Gator?!
      Rak: OF COURSE! A GAME WITHOUT ME IS A GAME NOT WORTH WINNING! Don't get cocky, Lizard!
  • The graveyard area of The Addams Family Pinball has a gazebo with an inscription on it: "We gladly feast on those who would subdue us."
  • In BIONICLE, the exiled Spiriah unleashes one as he prepares for a Roaring Rampage of Revenge which lasts about all of five minutes before his forces are ambushed and destroyed:
    Spiriah: The Skakdi believe they know what savagery is. But they have never met the Zyglak. And the Makuta believe they know all the colors and shapes of revenge... but I will introduce them to a shade darker than even they could imagine.
    "Your talents are still of some use to me, and so I will not kill you... today. But one day – perhaps in a year, or 1000 years, or 100,000 years – I may grow tired of you, Icarax. You may cease to be amusing, with your posturing and your boasting and your lust for battle. And on that day, your armor will be a meal for metal-eating scavengers, and your essence a wisp on the wind."
    • He has another one when the Toa Mata confront him in his lair: "You cannot destroy me, for I am nothing."
    • And yet another: "I am the shape in the shadows. I am the darkness in the heart of Mata Nui. I live in the dread stories told by the Turaga around the village fires. The dark creatures — the Manas, the Rahi — are my servants. I am Makuta."
    • When speaking to Vakama, he whips out one which shows his status as the Magnificent Bastard of the story:
    "Little Toa, you have not yet begun to see even the barest outlines of my plans. I have schemes within schemes that would boggle your feeble mind. You may counter one, but there are a thousand more of which you know nothing. Even my ... setbacks ... are planned for, and so I shall win in the end."
    • Then there's the biggest Wham Line in BIONICLE history:
    I am the ground you walk on ... the air you breathe. No longer must I fight you to rule a Universe. I AM the Universe!

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/BadassBoast/Other