Awesome: Married... with Children
- Al's speeches opposing a proposed beer tax and the cancellation of his favorite TV show.
- The audience's reaction to David Garrison's surprise entrance in "Get the Dodge Out of Hell" lasted over 20 seconds, a record. It got to the point where Garrison checked his watch.
- Any time that "Bad To The Bone" started to play whenever Al was preparing something, the result was this.
- Or when Al says "Let's rock."
- When Al came home and found Peg in a rather interesting position with Jim Jupiter (a local TV fitness personality):
Jim Jupiter: I'm Jim Jupiter, the Healthiest Man in Chicago.Al: Then you should heal quickly when I pull your spine through your mouth.
- In the "Married... with Prom Queen" two-parter, Al and Peg run into their old rivals at a reunion. It gets to the point where Al and Jack go outside and duke it out with everyone else watching. Later, Jack walks back in smiling. He then falls over just before Al walks back in triumphant.
- Peg also gets a Crowning Moment of her own when she uses the distraction provided by Al to fix the vote for Reunion Queen in her favor, beating out her own hated rival, who just happens to be Jack's wife.
- Things almost never go right for Al, but when they do, the results can be awesome. After slaving to build a doghouse for Lucky and being forced to jump through a bunch of increasingly ridiculous hoops by an Obstructive Bureaucrat building inspector that Marcy bribed to cause trouble for him, Al gets the last laugh. He got Kelly's rich boyfriend Carlos to help him build it and pay for all the expenses, during which time Al skimmed off $6,000 into his own pocket. He even gets one back on Marcy when he figures out what to do with all the leftover wet cement he had to get for the foundation of Lucky's doghouse...namely, dumping it all over Marcy's cherished Mercedes.
- The episode in which Jerry Mathers (As Himself) is the special celebrity guest at a supermarket shopping spree. Bud and Kelly are giving him grief the entire episode, and finally he has this to say:
"Let's get this over with once and for all. I may have to earn a pathetic living by donning the cap of The Beaver and appearing at supermarkets... but at least my father doesn't sell women's shoes."*Bud and Kelly hang their heads in shame and walk off*"Golly, that felt good."
- Al Bundy's response to a librarian mocking him for being a loser who failed at life cuts to the core of his character and the show in general:
So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no upholstery, no gas, and six more payments. To fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!
- Then, he tops it off by taking the tray of sugar that the wench had always put in her tea, to dump in her gas tank, a promise he had made to himself when he was 8.
- The three-parter where the family goes to London also had its share of Crowning moments, such as one scene in part 2 where they go to Poole & Co. Tailors and try on all of the outfits to the tune of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" (and stealing what suits them best), and the epilogue's jousting tournament between Al and Igor.
- In one seventh-season episode, Al's performance in the bedroom has hit an all-time low and Peggy starts complaining to her friends about it. Word spreads around town, and Al's lack of prowess becomes famous. Teenage punks start threatening each other with the words "I'm going to waste you quicker than Al Bundy", and the supermarket has renamed its "10 Items Or Less" line as the "Al Bundy Line." Al is predictably humiliated—and Peggy is for once genuinely sorry for this—but after he sees Kelly study hard to impress her friends with her knowledge of American politics, he's inspired to begin training to build up his stamina. One Training Montage later, he takes Peggy upstairs, and proceeds to do her for two days straight. The episode ends with Al and Peggy in bed. Peggy's hair is standing on end from the experience, while a satisfied Al is smoking a cigar. He grins at the audience and sends them off with the immortal words:
Al: And to all a good night!
- Al telling off the older woman he thinks the then-underage Bud is having an affair with and bringing in the cops to arrest her. Unfortunately, it's the wrong woman, but it's still refreshing to see Al's Papa Wolf moment and an aversion of the Double Standard: Rape, Female on Male trope—even the woman being hot and Bud's "consent" didn't make Al see her behavior as any less wrong.
- Peg is so often a Karma Houdini that the rare moments when she gets punished for her actions are all the sweeter. After being tricked by Peg into having sex with her for nine months in order to conceive another child and get a $500,000 inheritance, Al learns that she's been taking birth control pills to keep from getting pregnant. With a Tranquil Fury that is both awesome and terrifying, he fakes Peg's home pregnancy test to make it look like she's really got a bun in the oven. Peg is completely horrified, and when she tries to console herself with the $500,000 Al points out to her that another relative beat them to it (the lawyer who read the will married a Bundy relative who was in prison, and is planning on having him killed so she can keep the money for herself). This makes Peg suffer a complete Villainous Breakdown, as Al tortures her with the thought of the coming morning sickness, weight gain and diaper changes. The episode ends with Peg running upstairs screaming and puking from morning sickness, as Al contentedly plans to continue the torture and realizes that he can't buy that kind of satisfaction for half a million dollars.
- Never, ever get into a battle of wits with master snarker Al Bundy unless you're part of the regular World of Snark like Marcy is. Just look at what happened to Al's old high school rival:
Jack: You know Bundy, I can't think of a single thing you did better than me in high school.Al: Why don't you ask your wife about that, Jack?
- In "The Gypsy Cried", Marcy has been scared shitless by a prediction that she will die on the plane and she's driven nuts by the turbulence and her boss making an excessive amount of demands and the demand that she fetch a pillow for him is the straw that broke the camel's back..... and the moment she stops acting like a doormat.
Marcy: You fat pig! I work my fingers to the bone for you, I'm a bank manager dammit not your handmaiden. But you appreciate me? No, it's always "Get Me Coffee!", "Write my speech!", "Here comes my wife, pretend Fluffy's with you", well I'm sick of it! And I'm sick of you Vander Doody, I've done a lot of low things for you, but when I meet my maker in a few minutes and when he asks if I've done anything good, I'll say yes, yes I did, yes (punches her boss to the cheers of the audience and sits down with Steve) I'm ready to die.
- Sure enough the plane lands in JFK, and she worries she'll be fired, Steve assures her that if she plays her cards right she'll get a promotion since she knows something the boss's wife doesn't know.
- In the seventh season episode "Movie Show", on her birthday, Kelly breaks off a date with her boyfriend (played by David Boreanaz) so that she can go to the movies with her family (which she was reluctant to do - as were they, in fact). She finds her boyfriend with another girl, but she seems to take it well... until she rejoins the rest of her family.
Kelly: (calmly) Daddy, beat him up.
Al: (instantly, despite not having paid a bit of attention to the subplot)Of course, pumpkin.
(Al marches over to Kelly's boyfriend and beats the snot out of him as his date flees the cinema and the studio audience cheers him on; eventually, he returns to his seat)
Al: And that's why cable will never replace the moviegoing experience. (puts his arms around Peg, Bud, and Kelly's shoulders)
- The epic battle between Al and Spare Tire Dixon (played by Bubba Smith) over Polk High's stolen football trophy.
- Al converts his garage into his own person man-cave, using tools that belonged to his father (including a hammer that Al had special attachment to). He then drops the news on his family, and is willing to defend the place to his death.
Peggy: Al, you're not really thinking about moving away from me and the baby?
Al: Thinking of it? I did it! Be gone, jackals!
Peggy: But Al~!
(An enraged Al raises his father's hammer, which glows with a white, radiant aura.) [Exit Peggy, Bud and Kelly]
- Though it doesn't last long and Peg, Marcy and co. quickly start using it for their "woman stuff" including feminist meetings, Al finally has enough of it and must destroy what he created. With his bare hands and his father's spirit telling him it's the right thing to do.
- The episode where Kelly actually turns down a guy and he responds "put out or get out" resulting in her walking home. After a series of events Kelly manages to steal the guy's car, as he's walking home, he happens across Bud, and complains about what happened to him. Bud gives him a consoling "bros-before-hos" type hug, before he reveals he's coming home from a date where he just caught chicken pox, says he's Kelly's brother, and coughs on the guy.
- In "The Computer Show", Al repeatedly fails to train Buck to fetch his slippers, and he has to pay for an expensive computer the family wanted but won't use. Worse, when they're alone, the computer mocks him. When he can't take it anymore, Al leaves for the garage and comes back... with a sledgehammer. After smashing the computer, Al turns to Buck, saying, "Now about those slippers." Buck quickly runs off and returns with the slippers.
- In "The Unnatural", Al has had a rough time of it, so he is replaced by his baseball team with a younger, stronger player. However, before the championship game is over, Marcy the Umpire (constantly trying to spice up her calls with movement) accidentally slugs the new player and knocks him out cold. The team has no one else to fill in, so Al milks that they now need him - first making Peg, Kelly and Bud sing his praises. At bat, he purposefully racks up two strikes, but then points to the outfield à la Babe Ruth. He hits a winning home run, but refuses to cross the plate until he gives a Lou Gehrig-type speech.
"Before I cross home plate and bring home the first-ever championship to the Mallers, I would just like to say that... today-today-today-today... I consider you-you-you... the luckiest team... on the face of the Earth-Earth-Earth. And in closing I'd like to say, I hate you all. I thank no one but myself. As of today, I, Al Bundy, am finished with baseball. (walks toward the plate) M... V... P!"
- Near the end of the "Breaking Up Is Easy To Do" 3-parter, it turns out that Peg's new beau Bruce is a Rich Bitch In Sheep's Clothing, and he has badmouthed Peg. Kelly responds by kicking him in the balls, and Bud takes care of the rest.
- In the climax of "The Desperate Half-Hour", Al gets shot in the chest by Starla, but is saved by his lucky shoehorn.
- After the Dodge seemingly breaks down for good in the "Requiem for a Chevyweight" two-parter, Al goes looking for a new car. He buys a very expensive new car, but it turns out to be worse than the Dodge and the salesman brushes him off when he complains about it. At the end of the episode, Al drives the new car up to the front of the dealership.
(honking the horn) "HEY, CAL! YOUR PAL AL HAS A LITTLE PRESENT FOR YA!" (drives the car through the dealership's window)
- In one Christmas episode, Al finally has all his debts paid off and ACTUALLY has some extra money for presents, so he spends some time picking out a series of thoughtful gifts for everyone in the family, only to have his credit card inexplicably denied. Come Christmas morning, everyone has bought each other amazing gifts, and berate Al for being so thoughtless as to get them nothing. He then finds out that everyone used HIS credit card to buy each other AND themselves gifts. He proceeds to punish their theft and hypocrisy by picking up all the gifts that "he bought for himself" and going into the basement to enjoy HIS Christmas while everyone else is left to stew in the guilt of what they did.
- Kelly and Bud laying down a Pro-Wrestling type smackdown on some stuck-up nerds who invited Kelly as a "Dumb date."
- In season 4's "The Agony of De-Feet," Al thinks he's going to be judging a beauty contest, and Bud thinks he slept with Marcy. Bud's sitting on the couch when Al gets home. Bud, without looking, holds his hand up, and Al, without looking, slaps it as he walks by. It turns out neither of the things that made them so happy is true, but that rare moment of triumph, from both at the same time, was awesome.