The following is a list of episodes and their plot summaries for the FOX sitcom, Married... with Children, which lasted from 1987 to 1997.
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"Pilot": A down-on-his-luck shoe salesman named Al Bundy, unhappily married to his former party girl girlfriend, Peggy, with two children (a brainy, yet dateless son named Bud and a promiscuous bimbo named Kelly), is forced to choose between going to a basketball game or joining his lazy wife in meeting their new neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades (two bankers who are the very epitome of 1980s greed and social-climbing).
"Thinergy": Inspired by a diet book from Marcy to improve their sex life, Peg decides the entire family should be eating healthier and starts them on a diet.
"But I Didn't Shoot The Deputy": The neighborhood has a local robber on the loose. After Steve and Marcy are robbed, they buy a guard dog to protect themselves, but Al, on the other hand, illegally buys a gun and ends up shooting Marcy and Steve's dog.
"Whose Room Is It Anyway?": Steve and Marcy plan on adding another room to their house with their tax refund, but the men and wives get into a huge argument when Al and Steve want a room to play 8 ball pool in, while Peg and Marcy want to put together an exercise room.
"Have You Driven A Ford Lately?": Al and Steve buy a vintage 1965 Ford Mustang and decide to restore it, which pisses off their wives.
"Sixteen Years and Whaddaya Get?": Al's plans to make Peggy's 16-year wedding anniversary a good one goes to pot when he finds his credit cards maxed out.
"Married...Without Children": Al and Peg go on a romantic evening to a hotel, and Steve and Marcy take it upon themselves to babysit Bud and Kelly — which turns into a wild, teenage party.
"The Poker Game": Al invites Steve to play poker with his best friends, but Steve ends up losing his paycheck to Al, leaving him in a hard situation with Marcy.
"Peggy Sue Got Work": Peg takes a job at a clock store at the mall when Al won't buy her a VCR so she can tape her talk shows.
"Al Loses His Cherry": Rather than continue fighting with Peg, Al seeks refuge at his single coworker's apartment, where a sexy blonde seduces Al.
"Nightmare on Al's Street": Marcy freaks out when she begins having erotic dreams about Al after a heated argument about men vs women.
"Where's The Boss": Al quits his job after realizing that his boss has never given him any recognition.
"Johnny Be Gone": A Bottle Episode in which Al and Peggy delay going to a closing of their favorite hamburger joint when Bud and Kelly need them to solve their own problems.
"Poppy's By The Tree" (two-part episode): The Bundys go on vacation in Dumpwater, Florida, where an axe murderer is on the loose and has his sights on Peggy.
"If I Were a Rich Man": After a million dollars is reported missing from Steve's bank, Peggy and the kids assume that Al stole the money and begin smothering him with affection.
"Buck Can Do It": When news hits of the neighborhood dogs getting pregnant by Buck (who's getting out through the hole in the fence that Al hasn't bothered to repair), Peg and Marcy conclude that Buck should be neutered (especially after their neighbor Pittman threatens to sue because Buck impregnated his prized poodle that he was grooming to be properly brednote which, according to Al, makes Pittman a "dog pimp"), which is okay with Bud, but not Al.
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" (two-part episode): After arguing with Steve over ogling at a sexy repairwoman, Marcy goes with Peg to a male strip club, where Marcy loses her wedding ring in the pants of one of the dancers.
"For Whom The Bell Tolls": The Bundys struggle with not having phone service after Al refuses to pay for a phone call to Canada that no one in the family will admit to making.
"Born to Walk": Kelly passes her driver's test while Al fails his. Meanwhile, Steve gets into betting on horse races.
"Alley of the Dolls": Al and his family (with the unwilling help of Steve and Marcy) bowl against Peggy's high school rival and her family.
"The Razor's Edge": When Steve refuses to shave his beard and Marcy refuses to have sex with him, Steve moves in with Al and Peggy.
"How Do You Spell Revenge?": Al tries to recruit Kelly onto his baseball team to replace Peg, but Kelly is in love with a boy who wants her to get a tattoo.
"Earth Angel": A pretty blond aspiring artist stays with the Bundys and makes life for everyone (except for Marcy) better.
"You Better Watch Out": In this, the first Christmas Episode (one that is so dark, it had to have a Content Warning before the start of the episode), a Christmas stunt at Chicago's Lakeside Mall (which is sucking away business from the mall that Al works at, which is why he didn't get his Christmas bonus) goes awry when the man playing Santa crash-lands on the Bundys' yard and dies, leaving Marcy traumatized, the Bundys eating Christmas pizza on the police's dime, and the neighborhood kids wondering what happened to Santa.
"Guys and Dolls": To curb Bud's destructive behavior after Bud gets in trouble for using a picture of Kelly in a bikini for a school project, Steve and Al get Bud to take up baseball card-collecting as a hobby, but the men get caught up in it and sell Marcy's collectible Barbie doll to get the money for some rare baseball cards.
"To Build a Better Mousetrap": A mouse is running loose in the Bundy house, prompting Peg to face her childhood fear of mice and Al to wreck the house in his attempt to catch the pest instead of calling pest control.
"Master the Possibilities": When Al gets a package of "Yodelin' Andy" records that he didn't order, Marcy tells Al that if he gets something in the mail that he didn't order, he can legally keep it. Using this knowledge, Al receives a credit card in the mail made out to the family dog Buck, and begins to use the card under Buck's name.
"Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah": On Valentine's Day, Bud awaits his first Valentine (which he thinks is a trick cooked up by Kelly), Kelly must choose one Valentine from the many boys who are attracted to her, Steve plans to take Marcy to Hawaii, Marcy plans to pop out from a cake naked, and Peg wants Al to say "I love you" to her.
"The Great Escape": Kelly is grounded for getting poor grades in school and must stay with her family at the shoe store while the house is being fumigated for termites, prompting Kelly to escape the mall so she can make it to a concert.
"Impo-Dent": While Steve is away, Marcy drives Steve's new Mercedes (without his permission) and crashes it. When Steve finds out, he becomes impotent and fails to satisfy Marcy in bed.
"Just Married...With Children": Al and Peg pose as Steve and Marcy Rhoades to get on a sadistic game show called How Do I Love Thee, but find themselves facing off against Steve and Marcy (who are on the game show as Al and Peg Bundy).
"Father Lode": Al tries to keep his race track winnings a secret from his family so he can get speakers for his car.
"All In The Family": Peg's deranged hillbilly relatives come over for a visit.
"He Thought He Could": While moving old boxes from the attic, Al comes across a copy of "The Little Engine That Could", which hasn't been returned to the local library (headed by an evil, redheaded woman named Miss De Groot) since 1957.
"I'm Going To Sweatland": Peggy becomes obsessed with Elvis Presley when she sees a man who looks like The King at the mall and sees his image in a sweat stain on one of Al's shirts.
"Poke High": Al tries to keep a local high school boy from breaking his football record while Kelly tries to get a date with him during a game.
"The Camping Show" (a.k.a "A Period Piece"): A guys-only fishing trip with Al, Bud and Steve turns sour when Steve invites Marcy who then invites Peg and Kelly on the trip and things get worse when all three of the women have their periods simultaneously.
"A Dump of My Own": Al builds his dream bathroom in the garage.
"Her Cups Runneth Over": In this controversial episode (one that made a stay-at-home mom from Michigan write in to complain), Peg becomes depressed on her birthday when her favorite bra is discontinued. While Al and Steve discover that Peggy's favorite bra is still being sold at a risqu้ lingerie store called Francine's of Wisconsin, Marcy gets Peg a male stripper.
"The Bald and the Beautiful": Steve thinks he's going bald after finding a newspaper clipping for an anti-baldness cure given to him by Marcy.
"The Gypsy Cried": Steve and Marcy hire a psychic, who predicts good fortune for Al, Peg and Steve and doom for Marcy.
"Requiem for a Dead Barber": Al's favorite barber dies, prompting him to go to a salon and risk losing his masculinity.
"I'll See You In Court": In this Banned Episode (that didn't see a TV release until five years after the show's end, though it was leaked on DVD release), Al, Peg, Steve, and Marcy sue a seedy motel who uses hidden-camera footage of couples having sex as porno videos for the next customers.
"Eatin' Out": After receiving a moderately large windfall, the Bundys go out to eat at a fancy restaurant and trouble starts when they forget to bring the money with them.
"My Mom, The Mom": Peg resorts to acting like a true mom when Kelly picks her to appear at Polk High's Parents Day. Meanwhile, Al teaches Bud the value of a dollar by putting him to work at the shoe store.
"Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me": After getting Polk High's dance club in trouble during a field trip, Kelly is forced to join and perform tap at the school talent show. Meanwhile, Al thinks there is a conspiracy among the women when his socks end up missing.
"A Three Job, No Income Family": Peg gets a job as a make-up saleslady, and when Al finds out she's bringing in more money than he is, Al gets a second job as a Burger Fool.
"The Harder They Fall": While driving with Steve to the video store, Peg flips off a driver and gets Steve in trouble, prompting the Bundys to stay at the Rhoades' house to protect him and take advantage of their neighbors' hospitality.
"Married...With Prom Queen" (two-part episode): Peggy's chances at being prom queen at her high school reunion are doomed when her old rival, Connie Bender ("Bring a friend, it won't offend her"), arrives. Meanwhile, Al meets his old rival in high school and continues the fight that they last had following graduation, and Bud and Kelly pose as hippies so they can go to the reunion and finally get something to eat.
"The House That Peg Lost": While the Rhoades are away on vacation, the Bundys are called to house-sit for them, leading to the Rhoades' house being taken away by a man looking for a roadhouse. Meanwhile, Kelly has a slumber party with her best friends, which leads to chaos when Bud reveals that Kelly slept with her best friends' boyfriends.
"The Dateless Amigo": Al comes up with a new invention called Shoe Lights and uses Kelly as his guinea pig. Meanwhile, Bud, trying to prove to his friends that he can get a girl, uses a department store mannequin as his date.
"The Computer Show": Against Al's wishes, Peg and Marcy buy a home computer for the Bundy house.
"Life's a Beach": The Bundys spend a day at the beach.
"Here's Lookin' At You, Kid": The neighborhood women become the targets of a Peeping Tom except for Peg, who takes it as a sign that she's not attractive anymore. Meanwhile, Al convinces Bud to help Kelly with her studies.
"Hot Off The Grill": Al has a Labor Day barbecue, where he becomes aroused by the sight of Peg actually doing housework, and Steve and Marcy bring along the ashes of Marcy's aunt, whom Steve hated.
"Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics": Peggy wins the chance to exercise with Jim Jupiter, a local aerobics instructor with his own TV show, for two weeks, but she ends up killing Jim by introducing him to the world of smoking, eating junk food, and watching TV.
"Buck Saves the Day": To earn money for a concert, Bud rents out Al as a professional woodsman who takes the neighborhood kids (and Steve and Bud) on a camping trip that immediately goes to Hell, and Al puts all his faith on Buck the dog to rescue them. Meanwhile, Kelly earns money for the same concert by fleecing Peggy's friends at poker.
"Tooth or Consequences": Al gets a toothache and goes to a dentist, who is bitter over his wife divorcing him.
"He Ain't Much, But He's Mine": Peg thinks a new customer at the hair salon may be using Al as a sugar daddy.
"Fair Exchange": The Bundys can feast on the $500 a month they receive for hosting a French foreign exchange student, but the beautiful French girl, Yvette, soon turns Kelly's social life into famine.
"Desperately Seeking Miss October": When Al recognizes a female customer at the shoe store as Playboy Magazine's Miss October, Al goes searching for his old issues of Playboy, only to find out that Peg sold them to buy a good luck charm named Tubro.
"976-SHOE": Al asks Steve for a loan of $50,000 so he can finance his own shoe help hotline.
"Oh, What a Feeling": Al decides to get a new car, but finds out that Peggy spent all the money he saved in a cigar box buried in the backyard.
"At The Zoo": Steve begins spending his time taking Peg, Kelly, and Bud to the zoo instead of looking for a job, which doesn't sit well with the recently-demoted Marcy.
"It's A Bundyful Life" (two-part episode): In the second Christmas Episode, Al announces to the family that he has money saved up for them for Christmas at Marcy's bank, but when Marcy's bank closes early for a Christmas party, Peg and the kids leave Al to stew in his failure and Al gets a visit from a loud-mouthed angel (Sam Kinison) who shows Al what his life would be like if he was never born.
"Who'll Stop the Rain": Al is one man against nature (with nature winning every time) when he takes it upon himself to fix the leaking roof. Meanwhile, Marcy is upset when Steve takes a low-paying job at a pet store.
"A Taxing Problem": Al plots to sell Peggy's hair to a desperate woman who lost her hair in a woodpecker accident after Peg gets Al in trouble with the IRS for claiming 23 children on his taxes.
"Rock and Roll Girl": Kelly gets a job as a dancer in a rock band's music video after Al orders Peg and the kids to earn money on their own instead of shaking him down for meager change every allowance day.
"You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em" (part-two episode): Steve leaves Marcy to pursue his dream of being a forest ranger, and Peg takes Marcy to Las Vegas to cheer her up but not before selling Al's TV and maxing out his credit cards to pay for the trip.
"What Goes Around Comes Around": Bud tries to make amends with a girl (played by Saved by the Bell's Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) who humiliated him in sixth grade. Meanwhile, Al prepares a speech for a high school dance, warning teens of the dangers of marriage.
"Peggy Turns 300": Al plans a special evening for Peg's birthday by taking her out to the Bowlarama where he hopes to finally beat his arch rival's high game score, but Peg bowls a perfect game and destroys Al's self-esteem.
"Peggy Made a Little Lamb": While going through her high school memorabilia to show Kelly (who wants to get a tattoo and a nose ring for her upcoming yearbook photo) the proper way to present herself in a yearbook photo, Peg discovers that her high school diploma that she never opened is actually a summer school notice for the one class she never passed — Home Economics.
"Raingirl": Kelly gets a job as a weather girl on a local newscast.
"The Agony of De Feet": Al, who has been having bizarre, foot-related nightmares, is chosen to be a beauty contest judge. Meanwhile, Kelly gets revenge on Marcy (who called her an imbecile) by making it look as if she slept with Bud.
"Yard Sale": When Al discovers that Peg has been spending money on old junk from yard sales, the Bundys have one of their own to get rid of it.
"We'll Follow the Sun": Al takes the Bundys on a Labor Day drive, which comes to an immediate end when they get stuck in traffic.
"Al...With Kelly": Al and Kelly fake getting sick in order to get out of having to visit Peg's mother. With Peg gone, Al begins to fantasize about two blonde women who fight over him (one of which is played by Pamela Anderson) but things get sticky when Kelly really does come down with a cold and needs her father to care for her.
"Sue Casa, His Casa": After Al refuses to get insurance for his car after Bud gets his driver's license, Bud and Kelly get in an accident with a man in a Mercedes.
"The Unnatural": Al is replaced by a more professional softball player (a Swedish hunk whom Peg grows attached to) during the championship games.
"The Dance Show": Simpsons voice actor Dan Castellanetanote the man behind the voices of Homer Simpson, Abraham "Grampa" Simpson, Arnie Pie, Charlie (one of Homer's nuclear plant coworkers) Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Sideshow Mel, the Mexican bumblebee man, Jeremy the Squeaky-Voiced Teen, and others guest stars as a gay man who stays with Al after he complains that his husband may be falling in love with Peg.
"Kelly Bounces Back": Kelly auditions as spokesmodel for the new Allant้ with the "Bundy Bounce," but her idea is stolen by one of her rivals. Meanwhile, Peg refuses to do housework until Al realizes that he needs her.
"Married...With Aliens": Al suffers a severe head injury and begins seeing aliens who steal his socks. But are they real or just the product of his head injury and slipping sanity?
"Wabbit Season": In this Looney Tunes-inspired episode, Al gets into gardening to relieve his stress after suffering a nervous breakdown during a midnight shoe sale, but must deal with a rabbit stealing his carrots.
"Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?": Al becomes obsessed with his appearance after the neighborhood women begin admiring his handyman skills.
"One Down, Two To Go": Fed up with Al beating up and throwing out her sleazy boyfriends, Kelly decides to move out on her own. While Al is overjoyed that someone in the family is finally out of his thinning hair, Peg realizes that she should have been a better mother and begins coddling Bud.
"And Baby Makes Money": Following the death and funeral of Al's uncle, Stymie Bundy (the only Bundy male who was rich, successful, and single), Al and Peg begin having sex so they can be the first to inherit Stymie's $500,000 inheritence by bearing a Bundy child born in wedlock, but Peg puts herself on birth control, so she can finally get sex from Al.
"Married...With Who": After a wild, drunken night at a banker convention, Marcy wakes up and finds that she married her one-night stand, a man named Jefferson who spent the last two years in prison.
"The Godfather": Al discovers that Kelly is dating an older man, but when the older man turns out to be connected to the local government, Al takes advantage of the situation by being the neighborhood Godfather.
"Look Who's Barking": Buck the dog runs away and returns with a white female dog who plots to replace him as the family pet. Meanwhile, Al searches for his favorite cheesecake chef.
"A Man's Castle": Peg spends the food money on tuition to an interior decorating class, where one of her projects is to beautify Al's personal bathroom.
"All-Night Security Dude": Al gets a night job as a school security guard, but gets fired when the beloved football trophy gets stolen under Al's watch.
"Oldies But Young'uns": Al becomes obsessed with trying to remember the name of a song he heard on the radio that goes "Hm-hm-him." Meanwhile, Kelly dates a guy named Vinnie, who turns out to be the not-so-bright son of Al's old high school friend, Charlie.
"Weenie Tot Lovers and Other Strangers": Kelly competes for the chance to be a spokesmodel for Al's favorite food company, Weenie Tots — and Al ropes in Marcy and Jefferson to pick up prize money from the Weenie Tots Scratch-N-Sniff-Stakes.
"Kids! Whaddaya Gonna Do?!": While Marcy, Jefferson, Al, and Peg have a movie night at the D'Arcy house, Kelly is tricked by Bud to babysit a group of rowdy kids while Bud goes to a concert.
"Top of the Heap": A Poorly Disguised Pilot-cum-day-in-the-limelight episode (not to mention the 100th, and one of few that doesn't focus on the Bundys, though Al does make an appearance) centered on Al's high school friend, Vinnie, and his dim-bulb son, Charlie (played by Joseph Bologna and a pre-Friends Matt LeBlanc, respectively) trying to fit in who high society so they can be rich white trash instead of poor white trash.
"You Better Shop Around" (two-part episode): After sapping the electricity from the town with a World War II surplus air conditioner, the Bundys spend their summer inside a grocery store, but when security threatens to throw them out, their purchase of gum lands them a chance to compete in shopping spree — against Marcy and Jefferson, who claim that the shopping spree prize was supposed to be theirs.
"Route 666" (two-part episode): While on a road trip to Los Angeles, the Bundys' car breaks down in a backwards New Mexico town, where an old prospector gives Al a map to a gold mine.
"Buck the Stud": Al trains Buck the dog to mate with a neighbor's female dog for $10,000. Meanwhile, Bud begins to dress up in foppish clothes to attract women.
"She's Having My Baby" (two-part episode): Al's worst nightmare comes true — his wife is pregnant again. What's worse: his neighbor's wife is also pregnant.
"If Al Had a Hammer": Al builds a private room for himself, using the Bundy hammer. Meanwhile, Bud comes up with a street-wise, hip-hop alter-ego named "Grandmaster B."
"Cheese, Cues, and Blood": Al begins to suspect that Kelly is selling her body for sex (with Jefferson as her pimp) when she begins earning a lot of money. But when Al discovers that Kelly and Jefferson are actually pool hustling, Al sells his blood to get in on it.
"Looking For a Desk in All The Wrong Places": An insane Marcy tags Peg along to find her childhood toys including a pink desk that were auctioned off because Jefferson did not pay for the storage unit. Meanwhile, Al, Kelly and Bud begin holding "anti-baby" meetings.
"Buck Has a Bellyache": Peg moves back in with her family after Al, Kelly and Bud ignore her in favor of Buck, who hasn't eaten in days.
"If I Could See Me Now": After causing one too many car crashes, Al gives in and buys glasses, but his newfound vision makes him see just how pathetic his life is.
"God's Shoes": Veteran voice actress June Foray and former Saturday Night Live cast member Tim Kazurinsky guest star in this episode where Al's fall out the window after seeing Peg's $2500 portrait leads to a near-death experience where Al sees God's shoes and, when he comes to, plans to sell them to the apathetic masses.
"Kelly Does Hollywood" (two-part episode): Former Saturday Night Live cast member Jon Lovitz guest stars in this episode where Kelly's vaucuos public-access talk show gets picked up by a major network and the Bundys (save Peg, as Katey Sagal is not in this episode) go to Hollywood.
"Al Bundy, Shoe Dick": Al leads a double life as a detective who's being framed for the murder of a rich woman's father — and Al discovers the truth about Marcy's and Peg's pregnancies.
"So This Is Now Sinatra Felt": Peg is worried that Al may be hounded by a shoe groupie (played by actress and scandal bait Jessica Hahn).
"I Who Have Nothing": Al discovers that he truly has no possessions of his own, and decides to get back one of the things that truly meant a lot to him: his championship game ball that he gave to a once-skinny cheerleader who wants Al for sex.
"The Mystery of Skull Island": Bud dates a hot girl who is only interested in daredevils. Meanwhile, Al, Marcy and Jefferson play a relationship board game.
"Just Shoe It": Al wins the chance to appear in a sneaker commercial featuring famous sports stars, such as baseball player Steve Carlton, football player Ed "Too Tall" Jones, and boxer Sugar Ray Leonard.
"Rites of Passage": While Peggy, Marcy and Jefferson plan a kiddie birthday party for Bud's 18th birthday, Al takes Bud to his favorite strip club: The Nudie Bar.
"The Egg and I": Steve Rhoades returns to reclaim his wife, but is shocked to find out that Marcy has remarried. The Bundys argue whether friendship is more important than money when they find out that Steve is on the run from the police for stealing a rare egg from a national park.
"My Dinner With Anthrax": Bud and Kelly trick Al and Peg into going on vacation in Florida for their 20th anniversary when Bud and Kelly win the chance to have thrash metal band Anthrax over at their house.
"Psychic Avengers": The Bundys and Jefferson get involved in a psychic hotline scam.
"Hi I.Q.": Kelly gets invited to a party for intellectuals, which turns out to be a party where intellectuals bring along idiots as dates to win a contest. Meanwhile, Al and Jefferson attempt to build a tool bench.
"Teacher's Pet": Bud tries to prove to others that his substitute teacher has a crush on him. Meanwhile, Peg is sick with the flu and Al crashes children's parties at Chuck E. Cheese's to get free food.
"The Goodbye Girl": While Al is on an imaginary trip around the world, Kelly (who dropped out of modeling school) gets a job at a TV history museum and becomes a bug-killing TV personality known as The Verminator while Jefferson is harassed by kids who think they recognize him from Happy Days and The Love Boat.
"The Gas Station Show": While out on a drive on "Bundy Sunday Funday", Al ends up working at a gas station to pay for the snacks Peg and the kids bought.
"The England Show" (three-part episode): In the 17th century, a witch curses a British town called Lower Uncton to be forever shrouded in darkness after a Bundy ancestor insults her, and the only way for the curse to be lifted is to kill any living male Bundy relatives by luring them into England — which they do in the present day in the form of sending a letter to the Bundys announcing that they won an all-expenses-paid trip to England.
"The Magnificent Seven": Peg's cousins (played by Linda Blair and Bobcat Goldthwait) visit and end up leaving behind their son, Seven (Shane Sweet), who becomes the newest child of the Bundy household.
"T-R-A-Something-Something Spells 'Tramp'": Al and Peg try talking to revive their waning marriage, Bud dates a girl with the measles, and Kelly is stuck in the wilderness after her date ditches her by the side of the road.
"Every Bundy Has a Birthday": The Bundys try to celebrate Seven's birthday in the park, but must face off against a snooty rich family who rented the park to have a birthday party for their son.
"Al On The Rocks": Al gets a job at a topless bar — where it's the bartender who's topless (and brings in the big bucks). Meanwhile, Peggy begins acting like a caring mother to Seven and throws out anyone who may make him sick.
"What I Did For Love": At Kelly's advice, Peggy breaks the bank buying sexy dresses to entice Al (who just wants a steak for dinner). Meanwhile, Bud becomes a nuisance at a lingerie store.
"Frat Chance": Bud starts a fraternity with his friends so they can score with women, with little success. Marcy is upset that Jefferson wants to go to his old college fraternity, so Al, Peggy, Marcy and Jefferson try to find a movie to watch.
"The Chicago Wine Party": The Bundys get political when Al protests against a two-cent beer tax.
"Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore": Kelly gets a job as a diner waitress, which upsets Peg, who raised her daughter to get by in life on her looks instead of having to work.
"Rock Of Ages": The Bundys sneak onto the first class section of an airplane as rock stars and meet Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, and John Sebastian.
"Death of a Shoe Salesman": Al buys a cemetery plot next to his favorite Western star. Peg decides to get a plot near him, but when it gets too expensive, finds a better solution.
"The Old College Try": Al and Peg mistake Bud's college grant money for a windfall given to them through a bank error, and, naturally, spend it all before anyone finds out.
"Christmas": While at a bar, Al reminisces about his past Christmases with his family. When he is forced to get gifts he takes up many part time jobs, including one as a Mall Santa.
"The Wedding Show": While preparing to go to a relative's wedding, Bud has sex with the bride (Joey Lauren Adams) whose groom is a big, angry man. Meanwhile, Kelly spends time with the bridesmaids, and Al impatiently waits for Peg to find the right dress to wear.
"It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This": Peggy and Marcy ruin Al's fishing trip by constantly fighting with each other. Meanwhile, Jefferson and the kids spend Marcy's money on food (Seven), massages (Kelly), and sexy women (Bud).
"Heels on Wheels": Al worries about Kelly's safety when Kelly buys a motorcycle for herself. Meanwhile, Bud volunteers for an all-girls art school to pose in buff.
"Mr. Empty Pants": Peg draws a caricature of Al and names the cartoon, "Mr. Empty Pants," which turns Al into Playgirl magazine's latest centerfold.
"You Can't Miss": Caustic comedian and Politically Incorrect host Bill Maher guest stars as the host for a new dating game show called, You Can't Miss, which Bud appears on to win the heart of a babe who would rather have the show's hunky second option. Meanwhile, Al and Peg fight in a battle of wills over who will fall asleep first, and Kelly thinks there's a conspiracy against her when she confuses one day for another.
"Peggy and the Pirates": Peggy tells Seven a story of love and blood on the high seas (with the Bundys, the D'Arcys, and Marcy's ex-husband Steve as pirates).
"Go For The Old": When Al is mistaken for a senior citizen, he manages to get a senior discount card, which he immediately begins to abuse — including entering an athletic competition for the elderly.
"Un-Alful Entry": Boxer Randall "Tex" Cobb guest stars as a burglar who sues Al for beating him during a break-in.
"The Movie Show": Al's scheme to get everyone out of doing something for Kelly's birthday backfires when she chooses to break off a date with her boyfriend and go to the movies with the family.
"Til Death Do Us Part": Al finally does something about his bedroom performance after he becomes the walking punchline to many a neighborhood sexual joke.
"Tis Time To Smell The Roses": Al plans on retiring early, but Peggy spends too much money shopping and he must get a job at Homeplate Athletic Shoes.
"Old Insurance Dodge": Al tries to scam the insurance company when the Dodge is stolen.
"Wedding Repercussions": Following the events from "The Wedding Show," Bud's cousin returns to find out who slept with his wife before the wedding.
"The Proposition: Wheel Of Fortune's Vanna White guest stars as Al's girlfriend, who offers the family $500,000 for one night with Al.
"A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?": When Al and Peggy go to a basketball game, Peggy switches seats with Al and her seat is chosen for a $10,000 free throw contest.
"Hood 'n The Boyz": Al and Peg go to the big city for their second honeymoon where Al is called to help his childhood girlfriend deal with a young punk named Ray-Ray and his gang.
"Proud To Be Your Bud": Bud builds a portal in the basement that summons his true self, who tells him how much of a loser he is. Meanwhile, the rest of the Bundy family worry that Bud may be going insane, except for Al, who's fighting with a voice mail system to get parts for his Dodge.
"Luck of the Bundys": Al is worried that his and his family's sudden string of good luck may be reversed because nothing good can ever come from being a Bundy.
"Banking on Marcy": Marcy works through her fear of public speaking by imagining herself having sex. Meanwhile, Al gets interested in rap videos for the "booty-ful" dancers.
"No Chicken, No Check": Kelly and Bud buy a new car, but end up having to share it when Bud dates a foreign exchange student while Kelly dates a commercial actor. Meanwhile, Al insures the car as a farm vehicle, and in order to collect in case of an accident, there must be a chicken in the car — which he eats after his refrigerator burns out and rots all the meat inside of it.
"Take My Wife, Please": In this Halloween Episode, Al wishes he was dead, and is visited by the Grim Reaper with a very familiar face who will grant his wish for death...unless a family member of his says he needs him. Meanwhile, Peg, Kelly, Bud, and Jefferson are forced to impersonate The Village People for an audience of menopausal women.
"Scared Single": Al tries to help a young high school football player keep from getting married until he meets the man's wife, who isn't anything like Peg. Meanwhile, Kelly gets stung by beetles in a Verminator commercial and goes insane.
"NO MA'AM": Trashy daytime talk show host Jerry Springer guest stars as a talk show host (albeit one who doesn't have to deal with violent trailer trash and sexual deviants) whose calls to make Chicago more woman-friendly leads Al and his drunken, loser friends into creating a men's rights group called "NO MA'AM" (National Organization for Men Against Amazonian Masterhood).
"Dances With Weezie": Al and Jefferson sneak out of a Jeffersons reunion performance to go to a new sports bar, where they end up in a bar fight over who starred in the first light beer commercial.
"A Little Off The Top": Al ends up in the hospital for a circular incision on his bad back — but a doctor's mistake gives Al a circumcision instead and now Al must keep from getting sexually aroused so he doesn't pop the stitches.
"The Worst Noel": A Christmasbottle episode where Al and Peg spend their Christmas on the couch trying to find something good to watch on TV while Kelly and Bud try to sneak a jukebox into the house without Al or Peg knowing.
"Sofa, So Good": While Al and Peg are away at a family reunion, Kelly's boyfriend ruins Peggy's couch, prompting the two to find a new, identical-looking couch before Al and Peg come home.
"Honey, I Blew Up Myself": Peg gets a boudoir photo of herself taken as a birthday present to Al, which gets blown up to billboard size and posted next to the shoe store, where Al becomes jealous of all the men who find Peg attractive and sides with Marcy's feminist group in order to have it taken down.
"How Green Was My Apple": Gary Coleman, Danny Bonaduce, and Dave Madden guest star in this episode where The Bundys and the D'Arcys get into a property line war over an apple tree.
"Valentine's Day Massacre": Al shops for Valentine's Day gifts to give to Peggy, while Bud finds out that a girl who actually loved him is now a popular singer.
"Get Outta Dodge": Peg forces Al to sell the Dodge and The Dodge Company offers a new Dodge Viper for his crappy Dodge if he lets people film a video of the Dodge crossing the one million mile mark. Meanwhile, Kelly tries to find Waldo, while Bud tries to make out with a girl.
"Field of Screams": Al protests against the destruction of the Polk High football field. Meanwhile, Buck and Bud are featured in a Verminator commercial, where they get blasted with an experimental spray that leads to Bud growing breasts and Buck changing into different animals.
"The D'Arcy Files": Al is offered $50,000 dollars to turn in Jefferson, who used to be a spy for the CIA.
"Nooner or Nothing": Bud and Kelly wait in a long line for concert tickets and keep moving back as people exploit their weaknesses, while Peggy humiliates Al as part of a radio contest.
"Ride Scare": Al is forced to carpool by Marcy and her group's green initiative (Cleaner Greener Chicago). His carpool, consisting of him and three plus-sized models, is chosen to promote a campaign to clean up Chicago. Meanwhile, Bud makes to the Dean's list due to good grades and no one appreciates him as much as they cheer Kelly when she gets a raise.
"The Legend of Ironhead Haynes": After losing his parking space for insulting a fat woman, Al and his "NO MA'AM" buddies seek out to find a guru, Ironhead Haynes. Meanwhile, Peg, Bud, and Kelly hide a fully-stocked mini-fridge from Al.
"Assault and Batteries": In this special 3-D episode, Al, who is hoping to get back home in time to watch John Wayne in "Hondo," gets trapped in a store at the mall while trying to exchange batteries when the computers go down and lock everything down, including the doors. Meanwhile, Peggy, who is outside, goes on a shopping spree, and Kelly and Bud find Buck's birth certificate and celebrate his birthday.
"Al Goes Deep": Al convinces Jefferson to bet on a football game to make-up for Marcy's tax refund money he spent on his clothes, but the star of the football team starts dating Kelly, and it interrupts his training.
"Kelly Knows Something": Al auditions to be on a sports trivia show to win $10,000, when his TV breaks down. But when the producer rejects him for having no personality (or, as they eloquently put it, "[his] personality is between Joe Piscopo and the fat kid from Head of the Classnote the same one who later became executive producer of a lot of Nickelodeon kidcoms), Al trains the dim-witted Kelly (who can only hold new facts into her brain if old memories are pushed out) to be a contestant.
"Shoeway To Heaven": After finding a box of old shoes, Al and Jefferson turn the shoe store into a 1970s-themed retro shoe store. Meanwhile, Kelly gets stung by an insect whose venom acts a truth serum in humans, making Kelly reveal just how crappy her and everyone else's life is.
"Driving Mr. Boondy": Bud takes up a job as a driving examiner for the DMV to earn money for a trip — and Al, who has to renew his license, must contend with his own son during his road test.
"Kelly Breaks Out": Kelly gets the part as a sexy spokeswoman for a beer commercial, but freaks out when she gets a pimple and a home-made pimple cream from Wanker makes her bald and gives her a beard. Meanwhile, Marcy protests the crew making the beer commercial for being sexist, while Al and Jefferson order tapes of the old TV show Avengers with Emma Peel from Home Shopping Network.
"Naughty, But Niece": Bud needs some quiet time to study for a scholarship exam, but gets distracted by Marcy's niece, Amber.
"Business Sucks" (two-part episode): NO MA'AM counter-protests against Marcy and company when Al banishes a customer for nursing her baby. Meanwhile, Peg gets stuck on a train during her journey home and finally comes home to find Al on news.
"Dial 'B' For Virgin": Bud is put in charge of a hotline service catering to virgins who feel tempted to have sex before they're ready. Meanwhile, Al and Peg have problems deciding what movie to rent at the video store, and Al runs into Marcy in the adult section.
"Sleepless in Chicago": Kelly becomes a brunette to be taken seriously for her next acting job. Meanwhile, Jefferson gets a nurse Barbie doll and Al gets the first issue of 'Big Uns' at an auction.
"No Pot To Pease In": In this self-referential episode, Kelly pitches her family's and neighbors' quirks and vices as a new premise for a FOX sitcom.
"Dud Bowl": When Al and the guys have a wake for a former high school football teammate, a group of guys from a rival high school challenges them to the decide the ultimate Chicago city champion.
"A Man For No Seasons": When Major League Baseball goes on a strike because of disagreement between players and owners, NO MA'AM organizes their own league sponsored by nudie bars.
"I Want My Psycho Dad" (two-part episode): Al's favorite violent Western, Psycho Dad gets canceled. When no one seems to care in Chicago, Al and his NO MA'AM followers plan to go to Washington D.C.
"The Naked and the Dead, But Mostly The Naked": Peggy and her friends join the men at a visit to the nudie bar to find out why the men spend so much time there. Meanwhile, Kelly gets a part in a weight loss commercial.
"Kelly Takes a Shot": Kelly gets trained in archery to land a role in a commercial. Bud helps Kelly with her work to impress Amber and get her to sleep with him again. Meanwhile, Al dresses up as an owl to scare away a real owl outside his bedroom window.
"Get The Dodge Outta Hell": On their way to Wanker County, the Bundys stop at the car wash, where Al can't find his car and Marcy, who made Jefferson get a job there, runs into Steve again, who pretends to be a big-shot businessman but turns out to be a chauffeur instead.
"25 Years and Whaddaya Get?": Buck buries the 25th wedding anniversary present that Al bought for Peggy in the backyard, and Al, Bud and Kelly spend hours digging in hopes of finding it. Meanwhile, Marcy buys an all-day massage package for Peg as a gift and Peg spends all of Al's gift-money in the beauty shop.
"Ship Happens" (two-part episode): After Peggy wins a magazine contest, the Bundys and the D'Arcys go on a cruise, which turns out to be one catering to fat women by day and slim, sexy women by night. Peggy gets a bad hair-do there and stops Al from enjoying the slim, bikini-clad women — and later, the Bundys and D'Arcys are stuck on a life raft with a fat woman and comedian and former SNL cast member Gilbert Gottfried. Meanwhile, Wolfman Jack (appearing as himself) stays at the Bundy house and Bud and Kelly are bombarded with news casters who keep asking them if Michael Jackson molested them.
"Something Larry This Way Comes": Long-time comic actor and voiceover artist Larry Storch guest stars as Kelly's acting coach, whom Al must cover for when Larry can't make it to Kelly's performance.
"And Bingo Was Her Game-O": While Al and his NO MA'AM buddies get wasted trying to find an official beer, Peg and Marcy head off to a church on the bad side of town for Bingo Night, where Peggy wins the $10,000 jackpot, but blows it all when the women have to resort to getting cab rides with four dangerous drivers.
"User Friendly": Bud experiences cyber sex with Amber at a computer lab. Meanwhile, Al discovers a mysterious light switch that seems to have no use in the house.
"Pump Fiction": Al and Kelly make a short film about shoes (Sheos), and they end up getting a $10,000 grant to produce another film.
"Radio Free Trumaine": A Day in the Limelight episode for Bud, Steve Rhoades, Marcy, and two Trumaine University radio DJs whose jobs are on the line after making disparaging remarks about how Steve got his job as dean.
"Shoeless Al": Al slaps the mall with a phony lawsuit over being traumatized by shoes. To bring credibility to the lawsuit, he cannot wear shoes for a week, but with the bowling finals that week, he has to choose between the lawsuit and bowling.
"The Undergraduate: Kelly gets a secret admirer who turns out to be a 12-year-old boy.
"Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner": Peg's morbidly obese mother moves in with the family after she and her husband get into a fight.
"A Shoe Room with a View": Al suggests an aerobics studio for the open lot next to the shoe store as a new business idea after Kelly complains about being sexually harassed by men on the bus to her aerobics class.
"Requiem For a Dead Briard": Buck the family dog dies. While Kelly is upset, Al is more concerned about spending money on a replacement pet (and on using Father Guido Sarducci as a medium) while Buck (in Animal Heaven) is put on trial about his fate.
"Reverend Al": Al turns NO MA'AM into a church in order to gain tax exempt status.
"How Bleen Was My Kelly": While researching for the part of Marie Curie for a TV movie, Kelly creates a dangerous chemical called "Bleen," which finds itself in the Bundy shower and turns Al's thinning hair into a full, flowing mane.
"The Weaker Sex": Al mocks Marcy and Peg for taking self-defense class, but Peg becomes a hero when she stops a pickpocket from stealing Al's wallet.
"Flight of the Bumblebee": To earn his membership into NO MA'AM, Bud must take a photo of himself with wrestler King Kong Bundy during a wrestling match on Halloween.
"Blond and Blonder": Bud teams up with a rich, handsome man named Eric (who was a nerd who got bullied by Kelly and her bimbo friends) for a revenge plot at their high school reunion. Meanwhile, Al, Peg, Jefferson, and Marcy look for toys they can donate to charity, and end up playing Twister.
"The Two that Got Away": Shannon Tweed guest stars as herself in this episode where Jefferson and Al get a photo of the sexy star in the nude and plan to sell it to the tabloids. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud take Lucky the dog to a dog food commercial audition.
"Dud Bowl II": Terry Bradshaw guest stars in this Super Bowl episode where plans to dedicate the Polk High scoreboard to Al go awry (thanks to Marcy) when she votes that they honor Bradshaw instead.
"Bearly Men": To get rid of Peg's mother, Al tries to prove to Peg's father that he is a man by going on a bear hunt with him.
"Love Conquers Al": On Jefferson and Marcy's suggestion, Al, Peggy, and her parents go to a marriage retreat/water park to get her parents back together. Meanwhile, Kelly dates a Hispanic man who won't put out, while Bud dates the man's horny cousin who's leaving to be a nun.
"I Can't Believe It's Butter": Al's friends get addicted to calling a woman named Butter at a 1-900 phone sex line, but Al finds out that the woman is Peg's mother, and must choose between telling the truth (especially when Griff confesses that he loves her) and keeping it a secret so they can have a decent Christmas for once (one with real food and real presents).
"The Hood, The Bud, and the Kelly" (two-part episode): Bud borrows money from the Mafia for Kelly's exercise video, but when she has a disagreement with the male lead, the mob targets Bud for death. Meanwhile, Peg, Marcy, and the wives of the NO MA'AM members bet on which husband will fall from the roof during their team satellite TV installation project.
"Calendar Girl": Al convinces Bud to make a calendar with beautiful women for his school project in order to win a rivalry.
"The Agony and the Extra C": Bud and Kelly visit Jefferson in the hospital, who tells the story of how a botched butt tattoo led to this.
"Spring Break" (two-part episode): During spring break, Kelly and friends seduce Bud and friends out of their airline tickets and hotel reservations at Fort Lauderdale, and Al puts Kelly in the bikini contest to win $100,000.
"Turning Japanese": Pat Morita guest stars as a Japanese businessman who shows an interest in Al's beat-up Dodge, but Al won't give up his alleged car without a fight.
"Al Goes To The Dogs": Al decides to build a dog house, but Marcy complicates things by hiring a building inspector, who condemns the doghouse.
"Enemies": In this Poorly Disguised Pilot episode (with most of the Bundys taking a backseat in the story), Kelly dates a delivery man named Tom, who only wants her to get back at his girlfriend.
"Bud Hits The Books": Bud's academic career is on the line when he ends up in Trumaine University's student court for lewd conduct (read: masturbating) in the campus library.
"Kiss of the Coffee Woman": Kelly and Jefferson star in a sexy coffee commercial together, and only Al and his nemesis, Marcy, can stop it.
"Torch Song Duet": Al helps Griff win a trip to Atlanta for the Olympic games by helping him answer questions on a radio sports quiz.
"The Joke's On Al": When an old friend of Peggy's comes to seduce Al to avenge Peggy, he thinks it's all an elaborate practical joke done by Jefferson and plays along — until he finds that the wedding is no joke. Meanwhile, Kelly erases all the messages on the phone and Griff is put in jail for a false cannibalism charge (with no one to rescue him).
"Twisted": To scare a woman into having sex with him, Bud simulates a tornado which turns all too real when an actual tornado is headed for Chicago.
"Children of the Corns": Al and Griff blackmail their boss, Gary (a woman, despite the male name) after finding out the shoes she makes are the product of sweatshop labor. Meanwhile, Peggy wins a microwave and recruits Kelly to help her hide it from Al.
"Kelly's Gotta Habit": Kelly must abstain from sex to get a part as a nun in a commercial for extra extra virgin olive oil, while Al poses as a police officer and appears with Officer Dan on COPS.
"Requiem for a Chevyweight" (two-part episode): Al's Dodge starts sputtering so he sends the rest of the family to find a fuel pump for it, but when that fails, Al holds a funeral for his beloved car.
"A Bundy Thanksgiving": Al and Griff pay their last respects to a piemaker — and end up stealing her last pie during a funeral in a black church. Meanwhile, Bud, Peg, and Jefferson go after Kelly after she brings home a live turkey.
"The Juggs Have Left the Building": The Bundys go to Branson, Missouri, where Kelly and Peg become Tammy Wynette's opening act. Meanwhile, Marcy and Jefferson come up with a new sexual role-playing game: The Loser Shoe Salesman and His Lazy, Sex-Starved Wife.
"God Help Ye Merry Bundymen": In this, the final Christmas episode, Peg makes a gingerbread neighborhood, Bud and Kelly get in trouble for vandalizing the D'Arcys' Nativity scene, and Al and Griff take degrading jobs at the mall's Santa's Village while two young up-and-comers (who look like younger versions of Al and Griff) take their jobs at the shoe store.
"Crimes Against Obesity": In this partial Clip Show episode, Al is locked in the shoe store by a pro-obesity group who puts Al on trial for all the insults he's hurled at fat women. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly try to install tinted windows on the Dodge.
"The Stepford Peg": Peg comes down with amnesia after slipping on a candy bar wrapper and hitting her head on the table. With no memory of who she is or who her family is, Al brainwashes Peg into acting like a true housewife.
"Bud On The Side": Al tells Bud to lower his standards in finding women when he can't get a date — which comes back to bite him when Bud's new girlfriend turns out to be Al's boss, Gary.
"Grime and Punishment": Kelly takes an improv class and Al takes advantage of her by asking her to act (work) like him. Meanwhile, Al (who demands that Bud pay rent if he's going to continue living with him) is confined to the basement after Bud brings in a health inspector who deems it uninhabitable.
"T*R*A*S*H": In this parody of war and military movies, Al and Griff join the Army to get the food they're not getting at home — and find themselves on the frontlines of Chicago's garbage strike.
"Breaking Up Is Easy To Do (three-part episode): It's finally happened — Al and Peg separate after years of marital misery. While Al tries to live it up as a bachelor, Peg meets a new man, who wants her and the kids to do the unthinkable: get jobs.
"Live Nude Peg": Peggy poses as The Jiggly Room's latest stripper, but she has to keep her identity a secret because Al loves Peggy's stripper persona more than herself. Meanwhile, Bud forces Kelly to gain weight for a weight-loss commercial.
"A Babe In Toyland": Kelly takes over for a surly kids' show host after the real host goes insane on the set, while Al and Peg try to adjust to having separate beds.
"Birthday Boy Toy": Bud directs a commercial for Gary's Shoes with Kelly and Al, while Jefferson becomes an aerobics coach at a gym.
"Lez Be Friends": In this Reality Subtext-laden episode, Marcy's cousin Mandy (both played by Amanda Bearse) comes over, and Marcy thinks Mandy is after Jefferson, but Al finds that Mandy is a lesbian and has her sights on Peg.
"Damn Bundys": In this fantasy episode (that premiered around the time that the Jim Carrey movie The Mask was airing on FOX, so expect a lot of cheap, late-1990s style special effects), Al's wish to play professional football comes true when The Devil (played by Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund) offers Al to sell his soul to him, but when Al won't pay up, he ends up dead and in Hell — along with his family and neighbors.
"The Chicago Shoe Exchange": Al and Griff turn the shoe store into a barter shop, after Gary leaves, so they can get massage chairs. Meanwhile, Kelly takes massage lessons and tests them out on Bud, which goes horribly wrong.
"The Desperate Half-Hour/How To Marry A Moron" (two-part Series Finale): Bud's pen-pal from prison and her boyfriend pay a visit to the Bundy household and take the family (and the D'Arcys and Griff) hostage, while Kelly falls for the prisoner's boyfriend and plans to marry him.