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Awesome: Cracked

  • David Wong gets one for 5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't), what are those five things? Wealth, Beauty, Genius, Fame, and Power. The best, Take That, ever.
    • Let us not also forget Wong's 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable. Most of his stuff qualifies, actually, but those two stand out above all the rest.
      • They both end with a reassuring message. The first one tells you what will make you happy (friendship, altruism, and religious practices), and the second tells you how to not be miserable, so they do both end on a high note.
    • What about The Monkeysphere? One of the few articles that don't rely in list based humor (which is awesome but we all need changes), and uses one of the greatest metaphors ever.
    • The guide to how same-sex marriage in the United States will affect people with almost every heading starting with "If You Are A Heterosexual . . ." ending with "This will not affect you in any way."
  • In one of the Photoshop contests, "If every website got a movie" TV Tropes triumph at #1.
  • Seanbaby's fourth of July celebrations.
  • Doubling as a Funny Moment, The Ultimate War Simulation, depicting what an actually realistic war simulation would be like.
  • John Cheese dropping hard the lesson that going to therapy isn't bad and feeling depressed doesn't make you a freak.
  • Number one in this would give Rasputin a run for his money in the impossible to kill department.
  • Luke McKinney's article How Archie's Gay friend Proved The Internet Can Do Good. It is a two-page Take That at the American Family Association and One Million Moms. It is awesome:
    "When Archie is too progressive for you, that's how science identifies you as an earlier species. All those people asking questions about your protest aren't reporters, they're anthropologists trying to work out why you didn't die off before we became Homo sapiens. And if they said so you'd be more upset about the "Homo" part. Instead of evolving from monkeys like the rest of us, your only improvement is flinging shit metaphorically instead of physically. And since several species of monkey enjoy homosexuality and don't say anything, they're two steps ahead of the American Family Association".
  • Robert Brockway's Why Ebert Is Wrong article. Both for its slap to the 'no game can compare to a masterpiece' argument, as well as his perfect summation of why gamers care that games be considered art:
    And he's already answered his own question: "do we as their consumers become more or less complex, thoughtful, insightful, witty, empathetic, intelligent, philosophical (and so on) by experiencing them?" Anybody who's ever felt even an inkling of something like that from a game is going to be understandably "concerned" when you insist that they're lying.
    "Because there is nothing on this earth - not overwhelming odds, nor brutal police states, nor fear, nor violence, nor the kind of horrible, devouring apathy that makes things like death squads for children possible - that will ever, from now until the heat death of this whole screwed universe, force this kid to sit down and put his fucking shirt back on."
  • Ian Fortey's 6 Websites That Misunderstand Their Audience (Hilariously) list concludes with the number one site being the WBC's infamous homepage. The last three paragraphs explain their modus operandi in the clearest, most level-headed way possible, in particular the last one:
    Arrogance is useless in a vacuum. You can't be right if no one is wrong. You can't win if there isn't a loser. And they can say we're all damned together, but they're the ones that knew it first. They don't admit to being winners or right or any of that, but that's so obviously what it's all for. So who is the website for? It's for themselves, and they're just telling themselves the same thing over and over again. No one who goes there is interested in really learning their point of view. It's like a sideshow, you go to stare. So the real audience is just the people writing it, cyber fapping their own bizarro Jesus C.H.U.D. dongs like OCD hamsters on a wheel of intolerance. So what's the point? Exactly.
  • 6 Moments That Make Video Games Worth It, another fantastic defense of videogames with a particularly awesome description of the moment "when you feel truly powerful for the first time" in Half-Life 2:
    The oppressor is up there, many floors above you. He thinks he's safe in his tower, his boot on the neck of the peasants, the status quo forever secure. But he is not safe. You are coming for him.
  • In the article "5 Popular Jokes That Only Make People Want To Punch You," John Cheese said that trading puns was the lowest form of humor. Trading puns is also a beloved practice in the Cracked comments section, championed by resident Pungeon Master darkstrolm. Darkstrolm's simple reply to this outrageous claim has, at the time of writing, gained 1176 upvotes (the highest legitimate amount in Cracked history) and stands as a true testament to the greatness of the Cracked commentors and the community that has formed there.
  • 4 Works of Propaganda That Prove Dictators Suck at Photoshop, which ends with this brilliant Take That towards the dictatorships in question:
    In all of the countries mentioned up there, the Internet is heavily monitored and regulated (or, in the case of North Korea, doesn't even exist for regular citizens). They are strict anti-technology cultures because technology fosters the spread of information, the control of which is vital for dictators to retain that unchecked power we mentioned earlier. The end result is a bunch of state officials who couldn't convincingly Photoshop Nazi paraphernalia into a picture of Mel Gibson's living room lording over nations they have engineered to be devoid of anyone they could hire to do it for them. The Onion has better Photoshop artists, and they manage to trick more people with their fake news than any of these assholes do.
  • 5 Reasons the Oscars Matter Even Less than you Thought, which dissects the poor choices that the Academy has made over the years. After explaining the chain of events that led to Citizen Kane losing Best Picture, it ends on a note that reminds viewers of the real way of proving a movie's merit:
    The passage of time reveals a movie's true quality, not the number of gold statues it won. Citizen Kane didn't win the Best Picture, neither did Raging Bull, or Dr. Strangelove, or Rear Window or Star Wars. Keep that in mind while you're watching the circus, and you'll have a better time all around.
  • Eight amazing videogame moments that happened completely by accident holds both hilarious stories and these, with the added bonus of the commenters adding their own tales. Of particular note are "Roadblock" Perez and the rise and fall of the Kherjit khanate
  • How 7 iconic Movie Characters would fare in a slasher movie. It ends with Ripley from Alien using the dead body of Optimus Prime as an exoskeleton to fight Willy Wonka after Rocky Balboa made a Heroic Sacrifice to buy her enough time to get ready!

The Canadian television series

  • Leo, the team nurse, overpowering a gun and knife wielding thug, despite being completely unarmed himself. He's stabbed in the process, shrugs it off, and is back on duty by the end of the episode.

Could It Exist In Real LifeAwesome/New MediaCurtis the Spaz Gamer

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