(We begin where we left off in the last installment, with the Ranger actors staring in awe at the Gokai Galleon)
Jason: The Gokai Galleon...the Gokaigers' base. And it's real!
Ryota: Yes. Alex, do you know why you gained fire powers? And do you know why I have the Gokai Sabre? (shows the weapon)
Alex: No.
Ryota: You ever heard of some people never really leaving their roles, even after their time? Even doing other things during their time?
Jason: Yeah, I've heard of it!
Ryota: (smiling) In this situation, it's tapping a Ranger or Sentai actor's Hidden Power.
Sean: Hidden Power?
Ryota: Yes. When the situation calls for it, any actor can tap into his or her Hidden Power, and they can obtain the powers they've had when they were Rangers or Sentai Warriors.
Now, there's no need yet for you guys to tap into your Hidden Powers. Because in the Gokai Galleon, I've stored the Mobirates, where you guys can become the Gokaigers.
Jason: Wow! Us? Become your team? That's so wicked awesome!
Alex: I have to admit, it's making me nervous, but I'll do my best.
Sean: ...
(he sports a grin)
Ranger or Warrior, no matter what I'll become, I'd love to help!
Ryota: Excellent. Now let's go, gentlemen!
(the four actors board the Gokai Galleon)
(in Rika's room, she sighs)
Rika: Well. Three chapters down. One to go. Kind of. And this is a damn biggie. Just...I have no words for this! I have no words for...
(she facepalms)
What do I say about something like this? I mean...damn, Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers was bad, but they weren't kidding when they said that this is worse! I mean...I can't really liveblog this, because it's all the same shit!
No. Just gotta be strong. Just gotta be strong...
(then the Hate Master arrives)
Hate Master: RIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
(Rika is startled by the scream)
Rika: Who the fuck are you?
Hate Master: I'm the Hate Master, and I want to congratulate you on making it so far...
Rika: What, with this shitfic? Dude, I don't know why you're here, but get the hell out.
Hate Master: Oh, no. I'm here so you can finish reading it. Do you know why you're chosen to read it?
Rika: What?
Hate Master: Simply put, to fill you with despair. To fill you with hatred. I've found a fanfiction that's so bad, it will serve its purpose. And when you finish reading it...I'd like to see you become broken.
Rika: ...
I can never be broken. I've read worse shit before. And you know what? It's time to end it.
So! Previously! The Gokaigers bitched about the Samurai Rangers, who then became a part of Warz' team. And that's about it, really.
I've started this party, now I'm shutting it down, so let's end it with...
Chapter 4: Don't Mock the Gokaiger, Samurai!
Hate Master: Good luck.
(The Hate Master waits for Rika to finish)
Rika: We get an author's note, where it reveals that Arnold thought about quitting the story. Why? Because of bad reviews. Because people thought he worshipped Super Sentai and hated Power Rangers, when in fact...he had the story already thought out.
(Rika sighs)
...I'm starting to wonder why people actually do this, but I'm just wasting my time. I mean, we already know what I'm gonna say, so let's just get the damn story over with.
The story begins with Navi freaking out, and the Gokaigers are trying to figure out what's going on. Luka gets impatient, demanding Navi to tell them. Navi reveals this.
- Navi: "Itsuwari no Shinkenger…"
Yes. Fake Shinkenger. As if the whole "the Power Rangers are fake and should be destroyed!" "aesop" gets shoved into our throats even more.
The Gokaigers see the Samurai Rangers destroying shit, and I find myself believing more and more that...those aren't really them. I mean...
I just find it sad that I, a person who hasn't watched Gokaiger and doesn't really give a shit about Samurai, even think this is just too damn much.
Hate Master: Oh-ho-ho, so you hate Samurai, too?
Rika: It's not that I hate it. I simply don't give a shit about it. I mean, there's been a lot of flaws that work against the season's favor, yes. However, I don't twist any Samurai Rangers to be negative mouthpieces just for the damn sake of delivering an awful tract.
And I'm sorry for repeating this over and over again, but damn.
So...(clears throat) The Gokaigers head to the city, where the Samurai Rangers are indeed causing havoc. And for whatever reason, they love destroying the shit out of it. Yes, they want to destroy more "evil" in an improper way, and yes, it's explained in the narration.
Oh, and they find a car. One that has a family inside. And...they're about to kill the family? I'm sorry, but what the fuck?
(Rika is rendered speechless, and the Hate Master grins)
Hate Master: Good...soon, you will succumb to despair. You'll be an excellent host to my master...
(Rika speaks to herself, and then she punches the Hate Master)
Rika: Dammit, shut up. I'm not gonna give into your taunting.
Hate Master: Well, then! Continue to read.
Rika: You know what, maybe I fucking will!
(she then returns to the laptop)
So before they use their Spin Swords to kill the family, the Gokaigers stop them with their Gokai Guns. They first disarm their...enemies, and then they continue to shoot the shit out of them? Huh?
I don't even...this doesn't even compute!
(And then, when all seems lost, the Gokai Galleon appears! Rika and the Hate Master stare at the ship...)
Is that...?
Hate Master: Oh, no, not them!
(Appearing in Rika's room, probably by teleportation, just go with it, are Ryota, Sean, Jason, and Alex, all ready. Rika blinks at the newcomers)
Rika: Portal?
Ryota: So you're the mysterious liveblogger. And no, no portal, just the Gokai Galleon. I'm Ryota, and these are my friends—Sentai fan Jason...
Jason: Ready to get showy? (prepares his Mobirate)
Ryota: ...former Power Rangers Samurai actor Alex...
Alex: (to the Hate Master) You nearly had Ryota and me kill each other, and our friends! This is unforgivable!
Ryota: ...and your favorite gushing target. (he nods to Sean, and the man extends his hand to Rika)
Rika: Oh, hey...(she shakes hands with Sean, smiling)
Sean: Let's just say I've heard quite a lot about you.
Ryota: (to Rika) So, miss. We have an idea. How about if you fight and liveblog at the same time?
Rika: I haven't done that before...sure, I've liveblogged when a fight broke out, but still! What do I need to do, exactly?
Ryota: I hope you're capable of multitasking, because we need to stop the Hate Master before he destroys the world.
Rika: Oh, I will, I will!
(Ryota smiles, and he gives Rika a Mobirate)
What's that?
Ryota: A Mobirate. You will be Gokai Pink.
Rika: So I'm going to be a Sentai Warrior, even briefly? Sweet!
(Rika then turns to the Hate Master)
You're totally going down, man.
Hate Master: No matter...your despair will be your downfall!
Sean: ENOUGH!
Ryota: Everyone, let's make a show of it!
All Heroes: GOKAI CHANGE!
Mobirates: GOOOOOOOOOOOOO~KAIGER!
(And so, Ryota, Alex, Jason, Sean, and Rika henshin into the Gokaigers! Ryota becomes his old role as Gokai Red. Alex becomes Gokai Blue, Jason becomes Gokai Green, Rika becomes exactly what Ryota told her she'd become, and Sean...becomes Gokai Yellow, sans skirt, of course)
Ryota: Gokai Red!
Alex: Gokai Blue!
Jason: Gokai Green!
Sean: Gokai Yellow!
Rika: Gokai Pink!
Ryota: Kaizoku Sentai...
All Heroes: GOKAIGER!
Rika: ...oh my God, this is real! This is really happening! (squees)
Sean: I admit, I haven't been any other color before, but this is awesome!
Jason: I've been a Power Ranger, now I can say I'm both a Ranger and Sentai Warrior!
Alex: This is really nice...hopefully we make it!
Ryota: Okay, guys, let's do it!
(they cry out, and they fight)
Rika: So, while...(she takes out her Gokai Gun, and she pistol-whips the Hate Master)...the Gokaigers stop the Samurai Rangers with excessive overkill, Ahim and Gai save the family.
(Ryota blasts the Hate Master with the Gokai Gun, as does Sean. Jason and Alex slash at the foe, but, as usual, it doesn't leave a scratch)
What the hell?!
Hate Master: Oh, you shouldn't be surprised at this point!
Rika: No matter...
Alex: Yeah, especially since the fanfic you planted in Sean's backpack is destroyed!
Hate Master: WHAT? You severed my connection with my master?!
Alex: Yeah...I stabbed it with my katana, and with my Hidden Power, it burst into flames. Why'd you do it?
Hate Master: It was supposed to be a kind of gateway...for my master to arrive, after taking the girl!
Sean: Okay, now this plan's just getting messed up! Seriously, why me of all people?
Hate Master: The girl knew you. We watched the human world, and we realized that there was going to be a small gathering of heroes. By taking the girl and destroying all of you, there was no stopping us.
Let's face it. All of you were pawns. Rika, for reading the story. The four of you, for gathering. Had the plans worked...
(Sean just shoots the Hate Master in the face)
OW! Hey, what the...?
Rika: Thanks!
Sean: My pleasure. Rika, finish the story! You started the party, now shut it down!
Rika: Right!
So Jayden and Marvelous meet each other, likewise with all the other Gokaigers and Samurai Rangers. There's a long pause...
(And there's a long pause, too. The Hate Master blasts at the heroes, bringing them down)
Oh, come on! Seriously?
(Rika picks herself up and shoots at the Hate Master)
Alex: Well, guys...I think it's time to use some heavy artillery.
Sean: You don't mean?
Jason: I think I know what he's talking about. (to Ryota) Does the whole Hidden Power thing work on Ranger Keys, too?
Ryota: Oh, yes. Now you can tap into your Hidden Power.
(Alex, Jason, and Sean do so, and in their hands form one Ranger Key each, all in the forms of their past Ranger roles)
Alex: It worked!
Jason: You guys ready?
Alex/Sean: Ready!
Alex/Jason/Sean: GOKAI CHANGE!
(First up is Alex, and once the Mobirates cry out "Samurai!", he transforms into the Red Samurai Ranger. In his Gokai Sabre's place is the Spin Sword.)
Alex: Red Samurai Ranger, ready!
(Next up is Jason, and after the Mobirates cry out "Jungle~ Fury!", he transforms into the Red Tiger Ranger. He still has his Gokai Sabre and Gokai Gun, notably)
Jason: Red Tiger Ranger, ready!
(Finally, it's Sean. After the Mobirates cry out "Lightspeed~ Rescue!", he transforms into the Red Lightspeed Ranger. Instead of the Gokai Gun, he gets the Rescue Blaster)
Sean: Red Ranger, rescue ready!
...
Oh, my God, it's been so long since I've said that!
(Then the transformed Ranger actors strike, Alex with his Spin Sword, Jason dual-wielding the Gokai Gun and Gokai Sabre, and Sean doing what his character does best—shooting the hell out of the Hate Master!)
Rika: Whoa! Cool!
So where was I? Oh, yeah. The Gokaigers and Rangers bicker...(she dodges an attack, whereas Ryota strikes with his Gokai Sabre)...and stupid shit happens.
- Mike: "Give it up fakes. The Power Rangers are taking over the scene!"
I swear to God, one more mention of the word "fake" or "impostor"...we get it, Power Rangers are evil!
- Don: "Wait… Power Rangers? I've never heard of it… or is it?"
Dude, didn't you hear the other Gokaigers when they were talking about them? Oh, wait, you were distracted by watching a show that's waaaay outta your league.
(The Hate Master knocks Rika down with his sword, and she kicks him)
More bickering and fighting. And then this happens.
- Ahim: "You won't win this. If you're to hurt them, go for us instead."Antonio: "That's why we're rated TV-Y7-FV, Amigos!"
FUCKING SERIOUSLY?! First of all, how does that make any sense to what Ahim said? Secondly, seriously, another terrible Breaking the Fourth Wall "joke"? This is way past Seltzer and Friedberg territory, folks! And it's only gonna get worse!
And yes, there's yet another mention of the Rangers polluting the minds, oh, my God. (she then blasts the Hate Master just as he was about to blast Jason and turn him evil) Oh, yeah, that's good hatred!
(Rika laughs manically, as the others just stare at her)
Jason: I think she's losing it.
Sean: Well...it's that bad. Would you lose your mind if you ever read it?
Jason: Good point!
Rika: So, by skipping the bullshit of bickering and the whole "ratings" thing, which is just dumb in and of itself, we finally get to the fight. Everyone is equal, and yes, we do get some culture shock with the weapons, but that's just about it. Marvelous then becomes so pissed off, he strikes at the Rangers, defeating all but Jayden.
And yes, everyone becomes amazed by it. Whoo-hoo.
So the groups morph, and there's another round of silence, until Marvelous flips his shit. Joe somehow knows that they're the Samurai Rangers, and tells Gai he was right.
Everyone does their roll calls, and they get into a fight—
(The Hate Master nearly blasts Rika, but she uses her Gokai Sabre as a shield, deflecting the blast. She, Ryota, and Sean shoot, where Jason and Alex slash)
As I was saying, they get into a fight. Jayden insults the name, calling them "Power Rangers Pirates". Uhh...
Marvelous becomes pissed again, and he shoots Jayden, calling the insult "unforgivable". After the beginning banter, the two groups fight. And we finish the story with someone, likely Takeru, watching and telling Mako they knew the Samurai Rangers made them look bad.
The ending Author's Note has Arnold state that a dream fight would happen next chapter. Yeah...I'll get to that in just a bit.
(finally, the Hate Master and the heroes are knocked down. They slowly get up, weakened...)
Ryota: Rika, are you done?
Rika: Kind of. But I'd rather finish this first.
Hate Master: So this is the power...of five brave people...a snarky liveblogger, and four actors...who never really, truly left their roles.
Alex: That's right!
Ryota: Ready, guys?
All Heroes: GOKAI SCRAMBLE! FINAL WAVE!!
(And so, our heroes unleash the finishing move, which defeats the Hate Master once and for all. Rika smiles a bit)
Rika: We did it! We actually did it!
Sean: We sure did! But...are there any more chapters? I thought there was one more.
Rika: Well...(takes off her helmet, and she walks over to the laptop, thankfully undamaged) There is indeed one more. But...
(click!)
...I don't really count this one as a true chapter.
Ryota: How so?
Rika: Well...it's a full-blown Author's Note. Which states this.
- "Due to bad comments belittling Super Sentai (which is the real thing), loss of interest of doing the story due to bad comments, and why people won't accept the fact that Super Sentai is the real thing and being ignorant to it in favor of the fake one (Power Rangers), the story will now be considered incomplete and uncontinued."
Yes. And I'm soooooo not going to bother going into that, as it's just retreading fucking ground.
Jason: I just wonder why people would write that.
Rika: Because hate fics exist, Jason. Simply put.
Jason: Wow...
Rika: And he offers for others to adopt the story, and see to it that the Gokaigers defeat the Samurai Rangers, but if anyone destroys his story, he will be upset.
And that officially ends this stupid, stupid story.
(Rika then shuts down the website)
So, my friends, that was Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger vs. Power Rangers Samurai.
Sean: Rika? What did you think about—
Rika: Do I have to say it sucks? I mean..this story does not make any sense. Likewise, I just think they could have avoided all this if someone, anyone, would just stop and think to themselves, "hm, those Samurai Rangers seem to be acting strangely, I wonder what's going on."
It also doesn't help that the whole aesop gets shoved down people's throats, no matter how much wrong it is. Sentai fans can like Power Rangers...
Jason: And Power Rangers fans, or actors, can like Super Sentai. (nods)
Rika: Therefore, there's no "real" or "fake" or "follow the truth". Both series are the real deal, and no matter how many good or bad seasons both franchises have had, they still entertain and intrigue us today.
Sean: You know, I think this entire ordeal's really inspiring us to make a story about Super Sentai and Power Rangers. Jason, you think you can handle writing it?
Jason: Oh, yes! I honestly can't wait to do it!
(Then, everyone de-henshins back to their civilian selves)
Ryota: Well...our work here is done. We defeated the Hate Master, and ensured that whatever kind of master he had, it won't escape to our world. Rika, we thank you for your help.
Rika: Actually, I would need to thank you guys. Without your help...yeah. I think I would have been screwed.
Sean: Actually...we all did a great job. Every single one of us.
Alex: Yeah, that's true. So, what now?
Ryota: We should head off. Rika, be safe.
Alex: Yeah, always make sure of any dangers.
Jason: We had fun, at least!
Sean: Rika, if you ever need any help...(he gives Rika an insignia shaped like the Gokaiger symbol)...you know where to find us.
Rika: Thanks. Good luck, guys!
(The four actors nod, and they head off to the Gokai Galleon, Rika waving her goodbye)
Heh...they're gone. So in short, Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger vs. Power Rangers Samurai is just not a good story, and I wouldn't even recommend it, even if you are a Sentai fan. Even if you're looking for a good snarking.
And the most ironic thing of it all? Sean Akizuki, as in the guy who wrote the mindfuckingly boring Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers, even thought the story was horrible...though how he stated it was just weird.
Oh, well.
This has been Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger vs. Power Rangers Samurai! Until next time, see ya!
(Rika then leaves her room, as this plays)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would like to thank Chris X, for introducing me to this fanfic, and Psyga 315, for the idea of skits-in-reviews a la The Nostalgia Critic; without them, this liveblog would not be.
Likewise, as no celebrities were harmed in the writing of this liveblog, if there were any actor I offended, I sincerely apologize.
And most importantly, I thank you all for reading it.
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