And so, it has come down to this. The final battle between a necromancer who has gone mad with power, his business partner that he loyally screwed over, a random guy that said necromancer hired, two random mercenaries of varying uses, and a guy who was just hitching a ride to Fallcrest and was caught up in the middle of a long struggle.
My friends, we have entered the final encounter. So, how does the Big Bad Malareth treat us? Does he go all hammy and ask them if they dare confront the Great and Powerful Malareth? ... Oh. No. He just sends his skeletal minions and a hulking zombie at them. No biggie. Dude’s either the most brilliant person ever, or the laziest. I mean, he’s the major villain, and his major introduction is “oh, hey, it’s you. Meh. Get ‘em.” But whatever. First off, Perception check.
[Perception DC: 15]
- Hugh: 7
- Agent Smith: 19
- Darerris: 4
- Hollyhana: 3
- Jixin: 20
Jixin and Agent Smith both notice the box that Malareth is holding, recognizing it as the Eternal Skull of Jokers. Hugh, on the other hand, has no idea that the box he’s asked to retrieve, the very reason he’s here in the first place, is in Malareth’s very hands. At this point, I think Agent Smith and Jixin should be the heroes. They have more relation to the villain than the hero does. Heck, I would have made Malareth The Obi-Wan if it wasn’t for the fact that he was the Big Bad. They call him on it, asking if he has any idea of what possible consequences await him if he unleashes the power of the ESOJ and he pretty much goes “screw the rules, I’m cuckoo for Coco Puffs” and begins the fight. Oh, and Gobby is here, because he had nowhere else to run.
- Darerris: 26
- Malareth: 18
- Skeletons: 17
- Hulk: 14
- Agent Smith: 13
- Jixin: 11
- Gobby: 11
- Hollyhana: 9
- Hugh: 7
So we begin with Darerris trying to climb onto a table.
[Acrobatics DC: 12 Roll... 6]
Aaaaand she can’t. Well, glad I wasted my effort on you. Malareth does jack shit. Anyways, along with the boss battle, we’re taught about squeezing. A big monster can move in a single square, which, while it allows monsters to move into places that they can’t move through, they take a heavy loss in attack and have Combat Advantage taken on them. I assume the same will work for Medium-sized monsters. So the Skeleton squeezed to attack Hollyhana.
[Attack Roll: Longsword (+8 and -5) vs. AC (18) Roll... 22] [Damage: 6]
Not looking for a good start. And now the Hulk goes after... Well, I guess Hugh.
[Attack Roll: Slam (+9) vs. AC (17) Roll... 17] [Damage: 23]
Yeah. Not really looking to the end of this. At least Jixin and Smith, the damagers of the group, can kick their ass. I just thought of a badass thing for Jixin to do. But first, Magic Missile towards Zombie Hulk. Jixin then runs to the table and tries to jump off it...
[Acrobatics DC: 12. Roll... 10... Natural 1]
And fell off his ass, leaving him prone. FAIL! Gobby decides to kill the Rogue.
[Attack: Short Sword (+6 and +2) Vs. AC (17) Roll... 18] [Damage: 13]
Yeah... Yeah. Hana, just kick their ass with a Brand of the Sun.
[Attack: Brand of the Sun (+3) vs. AC (19... WHAT!?) Roll... 12]
Okay, Hugh, kick their ass!
[Attack: Lifedrinker Greataxe (+12 FUCK YEAH!) vs. AC (16) Roll... 16] [Damage: (invoking Battle Stance AND Power Strike) 29]
Good. I managed to get it bloodied. It’s Darerris’ turn. Let’s see if she can stab the Goblins. I’m gonna try and do a complex attack method...
[Acrobatics DC: 12. Roll... 23]
YES! Okay, here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m having Darerris fly in the air, do a cartwheel, and stab Gobby in the head. Let’s see if we can take him on.
[Attack Roll: Dagger (+6 and +4 (+2 for combat advantage, and another because Rule of Cool)) vs. AC (16). Roll... 26] [Damage: (invoking Sneak Attack because I’m taking him by surprise) 9... Fuck]
The Skeletons then notice Darerris, but tries to hurt Hollyhana again. It’s at this point that Malareth just flings his hands and creates a dark hex that causes the undead to have Combat Advantage on the heroes. And the Skeleton marked Hollyhana for more damage.
[Attack Roll: Longsword (+8, +2 from Malareth, +2 from its special ability and -5) vs. AC (18) Roll... 22] [Damage: 10]
DAMN IT! That’s two adventurers bloodied! But now another Skeleton tries to kill Jixin.
[Attack Roll: Longsword (+8, +2 and +2 for prone) vs. AC (17) Roll... 13... Natural 1!]
The Skeleton only manages to hit the ground and make itself prone. Jixin gets up and decides to kick his ass while he’s down.
[Attack Roll: Dagger (+6 and +2) vs. AC (19) Roll... 10]
Okay, seriously? How the hell are the brittle skeletons hard to hit, yet the massive orge corpse has average AC? It makes no fucking sense!
[Attack Roll: Slam (+9 and +2) vs. AC (17) Roll... 23] [Damage: 16]
... FUCK IT! EVERYONE GETS BURNED IN FIRE! Smith! Get ‘em!
[Attack Roll: Spell (+5) vs. Reflex (11 (Hugh), 16 (Jixin and Skeleton), 15 (Gobby) and 14 (Hulk)) Roll... 24] [Damage: 18]
And I just killed Hugh with that attack. Meh, got the zombies. And Gobby. Speaking of...
[Attack: Short Sword (+6) Vs. AC (17) Roll... 21] [Damage: 12]
And Jixin is nearly dead. Hana’s gonna have to heal him.
[Healing Word Roll: 16]
Healing him with a pretty good bill of health. Darerris’ turn. Time to finish off the goblin!
[Attack Roll: Dagger (+6) vs. AC (16) Roll... 13]
Damn. Damn. Damn. Malareth is not giving two fucks. And the Hulk tries to kill the Wizard.
[Attack Roll: Slam (+9 and +2) vs. AC (15) Roll... 28] [Damage: 9]
Yeah, not looking good at all... I guess it’s time to break out the Burning Hands.
[Attack Roll: Spell (+5) vs. Reflex (14 for Hulk, 16 for Skeletons) Roll... 9] [Damage: 8]
Okay, I’m just gonna assume they kick my ass. Hang on. Forgot to have the Skeleton attack.
[Attack: Short Sword (+8 and +2) Vs. AC (17) Roll... 15]
Huh... Might have a chance in this! {suddenly, Gobby attacks}
[Attack: Short Sword (+6 and +2) Vs. AC (17) Roll... 23] [Damage: 11]
Or not. Hollyhana might try to hit.
[Attack: Brand Of The Sun (+3) vs. AC (19) Roll... 22] [Damage: 15]
OH DAMN! Yeah! Oh wait, this is just gonna be a failure, I know it.
[Attack: Short Sword (+6) vs. (AC) 19] Roll... 25] [Damage: 7]
Huh, that’s easy. In fact, the Skeletons are missing! This is gonna be good! (Then a Skeleton hits Hollyhana for seven damage) Fuck. (The Hulk then downs Agent Smith) Double fuck. Jixin, Hana, Darerris, I swear, if you fuck up...
[Attack Roll: Short Sword (+6) vs. AC (16) Roll... 24] [Damage: 9, killing Gobby]
[Attack Roll: Impliment (+3) vs. AC (19) Roll... 20] [Damage: 15, bloodying a Skeleton]
[Darerris Missed]
... Well, I guess that this means- (A Skeleton then drops Jixin with seven damage... Ironically, the one time I remembered to use Speed of the Dead, it’s the one that kills Jixin.) Okay, I can see how this ends. I’m gonna roll the Attack Rolls for Darerris and Hollyhana. If they both miss, yet the monsters hit, then I’m ending it.
[Darerris’ attack: 23, Hollyhana’s Attack: 22, both their damage, 11 and 5 respectively, kill the Skeleton]
YES! FINALLY! ONE OF THE SKELETONS IS DEAD! Now to have Hollyhana heal and revive the two fallen men...
{Suddenly, Malareth gets off his seat}
Malareth: Haaahn... I guess it can’t be helped... You want to win? You’re gonna have to earn it, Psyga.
Wait... did he just talk to me?
[Attack Roll: Death Burst (+9) vs. Fortitude (12) Roll... 19] [Damage: 11, dropping Hollyhana and bloodying Darerris]
... WHAT THE FUCK!?
Malareth: What’s wrong? Isn’t this worth any challenge to you?
Well... No! I mean, this game is challenging, yes, but it seems to be WAY too challenging! I mean, THERE’S A LEVEL 4 HULKING ZOMBIE THAT CAN’T BE KILLED UNLESS YOU ROLL A NATURAL 20! HOW IS THAT FAIR FOR A BEGINNER!? AND HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO ME!?
Malareth: What is it that you do? Rage Play? Go ahead. Send in the Dragon. Send in the Nova King.
YOU KNOW WHAT!? FUCK IT! I WILL! MOOSE GO DIE!
Dragon Ball bursts into the room with Farallax, who tried to fire a stream of icy breath, though Malareth simply smirked.
“Does the cold breath hit the dragon?” Malareth asked the skull. The Skull then glowed.
[Odds: Impossible. Chaos Factor: 9. Roll... 26. Exceptional Yes]
A shield made of skulls then appeared, the skulls freezing up from the breath. Soon, the freezing was redirected to the Nova King, freezing him solid. He fell off the white dragon, shattering into tiny pieces. Malareth then raised his staff to the Dragon.
“Do I hit him with a beam of death?” Malareth said, pointing his skull-shaped staff at the Dragon. The skull glowed again.
[Acting Rank: Malareth’s Awesome Arcana. Difficulty Rank: Farallax’s Average Reflex. Roll... 73]
Soon, a sickly green beam shot out of the staff and towards the Dragon, who dropped dead from the blast. He then turned to his Skull and held it up, emitting a large purple shield over the entire area. Hugh, Gobby, Jixin, Hollyhana, Darerris, Dragon Ball, Farallax, and Adran soon got up, their skin starting to rot, with their minds slowly rotting as well.
“Now then... I say we should start the real experiment.” Malareth said to the sky. Towards Psyga.
“What? What are you talking about!?” Psyga asked. Malareth smirked. He then held up the skull. Psyga saw the skull closely. It was see-through, like glass or even crystal, but there were some cybernetics inside the skull and two fish-eyed lenses. Suddenly, the skull’s eyes turned blood red as it shot two laser beams towards Psyga, causing him to vanish.
“BEGINNING MYTHIC TEST... TAKE TWO!” The Skull said in a robotic voice. Malareth laughed as thunder crashed in the background.
What happened to Psyga? Erm... Me? Okay, I’ll tell you the truth, I’m gonna be talking out of the Liveblog/Story/Character to finish off this liveblog. Well... Nah. Not gonna spoil that. Aaaaaand... yeah, I’m setting up another RPG liveblog involving Mythic... I guess I should wrap this up then. Assuming we did beat Malareth, we would have taken the skull (It’s a human skull, not the cyber skull, though that’s obvious) to Traevus. We could call him out for having a box filled with a skull full of necromantic power, but he insists that he was just taking it to some monks to destroy it... And then the RPG more or less suggests that it’s Blatant Lies and he’s trying to seize power. Everyone would have gained a level and we’d be advised on which skills to take when we levelled, though we had to buy another book to get past second level. There’s also a small blurb telling you about what kind of players there are, which is the abridged version of 4th Edition’s first DM Guide’s way of telling you what kind of players there are.
It then explains to you the many quest ideas that you can come up with... Which aren’t really much to behold. From reading them, I’m reminded of nearly every MMORPG cliché there is. The Fetch Quest. The Escort Mission. Kill twenty bears and get their asses. The usual. I shouldn’t be viewing it as a video game, but I sort of do... I see it like some sort of customizable Fire Emblem. The old-school Fire Emblem. Thankfully, the game states that you should incorporate story in it and not make it so obvious that you’re just doing quests that don’t look out of place in World Of Warcraft. It also states you can even do quests that the adventure suggests, like Morgana or Traevus either trying to rule the world or having to destroy the skull.
It then tells you about the first part of the title: the Dungeons. However, they’re not dungeons... They’re more like abandoned castles or temples. Basically anything that is long abandoned and is now filled with monsters. Or perhaps it’s not abandoned and is still doing it’s original function... Just that the people there are evil and needed to be fought. Heck, it might just be a large cave with deep inner workings. It also tells you that you can use the Twisting Halls map to create your own dungeon, or you can just draw on graph paper... or use the Dungeon Generators you can find online.
Oh, and to rub salt onto the wound, they tell us how to make our own encounters and try to make them pretty balanced. YEAH. BECAUSE HULKING ZOMBIES AND AC 19 SKELETONS AND A NECROMANCER WHO BUFFS THE UNDEAD SOUND TOTALLY BALANCED. Seriously, even without Gobby, who is just one level behind the Skeletons, the challenge looked to be very hard. The Encounter Level was four levels higher than the entire party sans Jixin. I know, it’s supposed to be challenging and I shouldn’t go all It's Hard, So It Sucks!, but it’s odd when the game gives you an encounter that’s four levels higher than a party of four, then proceeds to tell you that you should probably tweak it to be just one to three levels higher. Then again, the dice seemed to make it hard. That and I probably shouldn’t have killed Hugh with that Fountain of Flame.
After telling us how the Monster Roles go (basically monsters have classes too... sort of... It just tells you what that monster is good at. For example, Skirmishers are good at speed, Brutes are good at strength, Solos are the big powerful bosses, etc.), they tell us the monsters to behold in the game. Skipping that, we get to rewards, which tells us that there’s three kinds of rewards: Gold, Experience, and Treasures. Oh, and Action Points... which I have never spent. Odd... After telling us the basic knowledge of the rewards, it then tells us of The Nentir Vale, the setting for this starting set. If you want a good setting, there you go. In the end, it gives you a brief know-how of conditions, attack modifiers, DC checks, and speed. Well, I guess that’s it.
KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!
My thoughts? Well... it’s hard. Really hard. I already stressed this already, so I’ll just say it’s sort of repetitive. It’s the basic Eskimo nut kicking I gestured about in the beginning where you roll a dice, see if you hit, then roll for your opponent. The reason why this update came so late instead of Monday like usual was that I was just driven to sheer boredom trying to roll dice for every person. I even tried to spice it up sometimes, but in the end, we just had a total Curbstomp Battle from Malareth and his Hulking Zombie with 19 AC Skeletons.
Is it a good starting set for people new to Dungeons and Dragons? Well, that depends. My RPG love increased after I picked up this set, so I guess it could very well be a good set for newbies. However, prepare for a difficulty spike, a necessity to buy more products, and encounters up the wazoo. The story for the game is alright at best. Malareth comes off as a lazy person. Brilliant, but Lazy. There wasn't really a lot of memorable story moments except for Jixin and Farallax the Dragon.
If you ask me, the Pathfinder Starting Box does a much better job at what it’s supposed to do. And that’s pretty easy considering it’s 3.5 Edition with a fresh coat of paint. The hand-holding through creating your character is better, the adventure has less encounters and it’s more easier (it pits you against a level 3 or so dragon, but you get a Dragon-slaying sword before the battle and it’s prone to Rage Quit when it gets its ass kicked... Though it’s easy to get a TPK if you manage to screw up easily.) and best of all, it feels like a lite version of the Core Rulebook instead of some starting adventure that throws people into a random adventure. It even comes with prebuilt characters. So yeah, despite the Red Box being what kick-started my love for RPGs again, I’d prefer the Pathfinder’s Starting Box than the Red Box.
Well, I guess I’ll see you next time... Or rather Psyga... Okay, this is gonna be confusing... Story!Psyga. There. I’m referring to that other Psyga as Story!Psyga. Adios.
