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--> Barney: "No promisises!"

to:

--> Barney: "No promisises!"promises!"
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** Barney's inability to follow the taxi ways and the roads on the airport.
--> Douchebag: "Are roads a recomendation too?"
--> Barney: "Screw roads! [[{{BackToTheFuture}} Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
--> Douchebag: "...You're not funny..."
** From the plane escape scene
--> EV91: "...comply or you will be shot down."
--> Barney: "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
--> Douchebag: "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
--> Barney: "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[{{BuffySpeak}} Too much canyon]].
** Earlier on..."
--> Barney: "Let's see if we can lose them in that canyon down there."
--> Douchebag: "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
--> Barney: "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
--> Douchebag: "Okay but you better not get us killed."
--> Barney: "No promisises!"
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** “''‘[[ProperlyParanoid Aliens aren't invading, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid]].’ [[SubvertedTrope ‘The mailman’s not spying on you, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid]].’ What else... ‘There’s no society of anthropomorphic frog people living in the sewer, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid.’ ‘Owls can’t read your thoughts, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid.’ [[DoubleSubversion Bet you wouldn’t call me paranoid now if you were still alive!]]''”

to:

** “''‘[[ProperlyParanoid Aliens aren't invading, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid]].’ [[SubvertedTrope ‘The mailman’s not spying on you, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid]].’ What else... ‘There’s ‘[[{{CallBack}} There’s no society of anthropomorphic frog people living in the sewer, sewer]], Freeman. You’re just being paranoid.’ ‘Owls can’t read your thoughts, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid.’ [[DoubleSubversion Bet you wouldn’t call me paranoid now if you were still alive!]]''”
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--> '''Freeman:''' Shit, did I say that out loud?

to:

--> '''Freeman:''' [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud Shit, did I say that out loud?
loud?]]
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More of the same. Will continue later.


* "I like climbing things, it appeals to my simian instincts. And also, makes me regret how I have no tail. Damn my genes; [[ShoutOut I have no tail]], [[IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream and I must swing...]]"
* Times like this, I remember why I became a Physicist: to show anti-matter particles WHO'S BOSS! YEAH!!

to:

* "I like climbing things, it things. It appeals to my simian instincts. And also, makes me regret how I have no tail. Damn my genes; [[ShoutOut I have no tail]], [[IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream and I must swing...]]"
* Times like this, I remember why I became a Physicist: physicist: to show anti-matter particles WHO'S BOSS! YEAH!!



* "This is a ''[[ScienceIsBad bad experiment!]]'' We are ''[[MorallyAmbiguousDoctorate bad people!]]'' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Why did we usher forth]] the ''[[ApocalypseHow green apocalypse?!]]''"
--> "What happened? Where am I? Am I dead? I don't feel dead...but how would I know?!...If this is what it's like to be dead, then being dead ''sucks!''"

to:

* "This This is a ''[[ScienceIsBad bad experiment!]]'' We are ''[[MorallyAmbiguousDoctorate bad people!]]'' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Why did we usher forth]] the ''[[ApocalypseHow green apocalypse?!]]''"
apocalypse?!]]''
--> "What What happened? Where am I? Am I dead? I don't feel dead...but how would I know?!...If this is what it's like to be dead, then being dead ''sucks!''"''sucks!''



* [''Gordon is back in the Test Chamber''] "No...no, no, no, no, n-Huh, what? Hehe...hahaha! I'm not in Crazy Land anymore! Man that was weirder than when I stayed up for 48 hours straight and thought my house was being invaded by Frog People!"

to:

* [''Gordon is back in the Test Chamber''] "No...no, no, no, no, n-Huh, n-- Huh, what? Hehe...hahaha! I'm not in Crazy Land anymore! Man that was weirder than when I stayed up for 48 hours straight and thought my house was being invaded by Frog People!"



* [Facing down a headcrab unarmed] "Okay, I can do this. I am the matador. I fearlessly--" [headcrab jumps] "FUCK! SHIT! PISS! Those things BITE!"

to:

* [Facing [''Facing down a headcrab unarmed] unarmed''] "Okay, I can do this. I am the matador. I fearlessly--" [headcrab jumps] [''headcrab jumps''] "FUCK! SHIT! PISS! Those things BITE!"



* [''Reading a Warning Sign''] " 'Do not use Elevators.' " [''Pushes the elevator button; drops the elevator car with two scientists aboard''] Oh shit, they weren't kidding! Aww jeez, what do I do; the door won't open! RRRGH! [''smashes the glass door''] Oh, what should I do? I guess, uh... SORRY! DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU! Oh man; I hope they at least were jerks..."

to:

* [''Reading a Warning Sign''] " 'Do warning sign''] "'Do not use Elevators.' " '" [''Pushes the elevator button; drops the elevator car with two scientists aboard''] Oh shit, they weren't kidding! Aww jeez, what do I do; the door won't open! RRRGH! [''smashes the glass door''] Oh, what should I do? I guess, uh... SORRY! DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU! Oh man; man, I hope they at least were jerks..."
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Inconsistent formatting, especially quotation marks.


--> '''Holographic Assistant:''' "Walk directly into the ladder, look up, and continue moving forward. If you want to come back down, just move backward."
--> '''Freeman:''' "'To wipe your ass, first orient your hand behind yourself, then move it forward... or backward.' Honestly, who doesn't know how to use a ladder? I mean, it's a ''LADDER''! Somehow, I don't think this program is designed for the gifted."

to:

--> '''Holographic Assistant:''' "Walk Walk directly into the ladder, look up, and continue moving forward. If you want to come back down, just move backward."
backward.
--> '''Freeman:''' "'To 'To wipe your ass, first orient your hand behind yourself, then move it forward... or backward.' Honestly, who doesn't know how to use a ladder? I mean, it's a ''LADDER''! Somehow, I don't think this program is designed for the gifted."



--> '''Hologuide:''' "Now that you're up here, there's only one way down."
--> '''Freeman:''' ''(Looking around)'' "Where?"
--> '''Hologuide:''' "Find the target on the floor below, and do your best to hit it."
--> '''Freeman:''' [[FlatWhat "What."]]
--> '''Hologuide:''' "If you take any damage from the fall, we will administer medical care at the next station."
--> '''Freeman:''' "Is this a joke? They want me to jump from this height onto ''flat concrete?!'' There must be a typo with the instructions or something that no one corrected. I could climb down, but they want me to hit that target. I'm not doing that, that's retarded! So... I guess I failed the "lemming" portion of the test, but hopefully that's not required to pass the whole course. Well, training's over! I think I'll get out of here and go take my lunch break. ''(pause)'' I'll just tell everyone I passed training. Nobody's going to check this."

to:

--> '''Hologuide:''' "Now Now that you're up here, there's only one way down."
down.
--> '''Freeman:''' ''(Looking around)'' "Where?"
Where?
--> '''Hologuide:''' "Find Find the target on the floor below, and do your best to hit it."
it.
--> '''Freeman:''' [[FlatWhat "What."]]
What.]]
--> '''Hologuide:''' "If If you take any damage from the fall, we will administer medical care at the next station."
station.
--> '''Freeman:''' "Is Is this a joke? They want me to jump from this height onto ''flat concrete?!'' There must be a typo with the instructions or something that no one corrected. I could climb down, but they want me to hit that target. I'm not doing that, that's retarded! So... I guess I failed the "lemming" portion of the test, but hopefully that's not required to pass the whole course. Well, training's over! I think I'll get out of here and go take my lunch break. ''(pause)'' I'll just tell everyone I passed training. Nobody's going to check this."
this.



--> '''Freeman:''' "Ah, I'm not the only one who's late. SUCKEEEEEEER!"

to:

--> '''Freeman:''' "Ah, Ah, I'm not the only one who's late. SUCKEEEEEEER!"SUCKEEEEEEER!



--> '''Black Mesa P.A.:''' "In the event of an emergency . . . please stay away from electrified rails, and proceed to an emergency station until assistance arrives."
--> '''Freeman:''' "Man, how dumb would you have to be? I mean, they're not going to say something like that unless somebody's already tried to do it, right? I guess if I was drunk enough I might climb out the window here and pull some hang-time on the electrified tram rail. That kind of reminds me of the squirrel that got caught between the power lines one day back at [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massachusetts_Institute_of_Technology M.I.T.]] The thing caught on fire and got fused to the wires, which caused a transformer to blow out and knock out power to all of campus. That squirrel must have cost the university at least ten thousand dollars. It was a good day."

to:

--> '''Black Mesa P.A.:''' "In In the event of an emergency . . . please stay away from electrified rails, and proceed to an emergency station until assistance arrives."
arrives.
--> '''Freeman:''' "Man, Man, how dumb would you have to be? I mean, they're not going to say something like that unless somebody's already tried to do it, right? I guess if I was drunk enough I might climb out the window here and pull some hang-time on the electrified tram rail. That kind of reminds me of the squirrel that got caught between the power lines one day back at [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massachusetts_Institute_of_Technology M.I.T.]] The thing caught on fire and got fused to the wires, which caused a transformer to blow out and knock out power to all of campus. That squirrel must have cost the university at least ten thousand dollars. It was a good day."



* [''seeing a radioactive spill''] Hey, what's that green crap? What is this?! ''Jesus Christ'', look at this place! This is a disaster! That's gotta be toxic. God, the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Environmental_Protection_Agency E.P.A.]] is gonna tear us apart if they find out about that! Well, I'm not saying anything. I don't want to get called in as a witness in court when the cat gets out of the bag.

to:

* [''seeing a radioactive spill''] Hey, "Hey, what's that green crap? What is this?! ''Jesus Christ'', look at this place! This is a disaster! That's gotta be toxic. God, the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Environmental_Protection_Agency E.P.A.]] is gonna tear us apart if they find out about that! Well, I'm not saying anything. I don't want to get called in as a witness in court when the cat gets out of the bag."



* Does my beard intimidate you?

to:

* Does "Does my beard intimidate you?you?"



* Right after the resonance cascade and Freeman sees all the death and destruction caused by it, he walks up to Eli and another scientist

to:

* Right after the resonance cascade and Freeman sees all the death and destruction caused by it, he walks up to Eli and another scientistscientist:



* [Facing down a headcrab unarmed] "Okay, I can do this. I am the matador. I fearlessly-" [headcrab jumps] "FUCK! SHIT! PISS! Those things BITE!"

to:

* [Facing down a headcrab unarmed] "Okay, I can do this. I am the matador. I fearlessly-" fearlessly--" [headcrab jumps] "FUCK! SHIT! PISS! Those things BITE!"



* "Today, all my Limbo practice pays off!"
** "Hey, I can't limbo this! It goes though the floor! That's cheating! Look at this thing! It's an etch a sketch from HELL!"

to:

* "Today, all my Limbo limbo practice pays off!"
** "Hey, I can't limbo this! It goes though the floor! That's cheating! Look at this thing! It's an etch a sketch Etch A Sketch from HELL!"



* "Follow the dead body road! Follow the dead body road! Follow, follow, foll- damn! Look at all that blood!"

to:

* "Follow the dead body road! Follow the dead body road! Follow, follow, foll- foll-- damn! Look at all that blood!"



*** and, "Oh, good. more blood! I was starting to get worried! God, what happened? this guy looks like he got hit by a steamroller!"
* Upon discovering the Entry Door to the Sector is locked:

to:

*** and, "Oh, good. more blood! I was starting to get worried! God, what happened? this This guy looks like he got hit by a steamroller!"
* Upon discovering the Entry Door entry door to the Sector is locked:
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** This was even referenced in Ian Rileys ''Barneys Mind''
* Freeman's Priceless Safety 'Revelation':

to:

** This was even referenced in Ian Rileys ''Barneys Mind''
Riley's ''Barney's Mind.''
* Freeman's Priceless Safety 'Revelation':priceless safety "revelation:"



* Times like this, I remember why I became a Physicist: to show anti-matter particles WHO'S BAWSS! YEAH!!

to:

* Times like this, I remember why I became a Physicist: to show anti-matter particles WHO'S BAWSS! BOSS! YEAH!!



--> "Who are you?...''No!'' [[EscapeFromTheCrazyPlace I don't ''wanna'' be a schizophrenic!"]]

to:

--> "Who are you?...''No!'' [[EscapeFromTheCrazyPlace I don't don't]] ''wanna'' [[EscapeFromTheCrazyPlace be a schizophrenic!"]]
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* "Can I go home now? -This isn't my house." It's the delivery that sells it.
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** "''No''! Shut up! No-one cares about your opinion! You have no rights! ''You're all illegal immigrants!'' Now just do what you're told and jump off this giant meatgrinder! ''No!'' You're ''doing it wrong!'' You're ''all incompetent!''"

to:

** "''No''! Shut up! No-one cares about your opinion! You have no rights! ''You're all illegal immigrants!'' Now just do what you're told and jump off this giant meatgrinder! meat grinder! ''No!'' You're ''doing it wrong!'' You're ''all incompetent!''"



-->'''Freeman:''' Oh, no. So, are we gonna play nice, or -

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' Oh, no. So, are we gonna play nice, or -or--



-->'''Freeman:''' Nope. Well, looks like my armor is better than yours! And I'll just loot your bodies, 'cause that's how I roll... and that puts me at six or seven counts of 'self-defense'.

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' Nope. Well, looks like my armor is better than yours! And I'll just loot your bodies, 'cause that's how I roll... and that puts me at six or seven counts of 'self-defense'."self-defense."



* Freeman's 'sea turtle' plan.

to:

* Freeman's 'sea turtle' "sea turtle" plan.



-->"Hey, the lights are on!" ''(hits the [[AC:Test Fire]] button, warning klaxon goes off)'' "Hey, it's doing something! Did somebody fix this? Wait...what did I just do?" ''(giant alien gets incinerated by the rocket jet firing)'' OH! YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, ''GET OUT OF THE ROCKET PROPULSION TEST CHAMBER!'' HA HA HA HA! BURN! ''BURN! '''BURN!!!''''' Physics rules!"

to:

-->"Hey, the lights are on!" ''(hits the [[AC:Test Fire]] button, warning klaxon goes off)'' "Hey, it's doing something! Did somebody fix this? Wait...what did I just do?" ''(giant alien gets incinerated by the rocket jet firing)'' OH! YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, ''GET OUT OF THE ROCKET PROPULSION TEST CHAMBER!'' HA HA HA HA! BURN! ''BURN! '''BURN!!!''''' Physics rules!"
''rules''!"



-->'''Freeman:''' Hey, that's a ladder! That means this is legit -- this might go somewhere! I mean, it probably leads to a room filled with poison gas and a bunch of dead people that look just like me, but I don't know that, so there's room for hope, I guess.

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' Hey, that's a ladder! That means this is legit -- this legit--this might go somewhere! I mean, it probably leads to a room filled with poison gas and a bunch of dead people that look just like me, but I don't know ''know'' that, so there's room for hope, I guess.



-->'''Freeman:''' "I was afraid I was going to look down there and see this giant eyeball looking up at me, angry at me cuz I blew off its eyelashes or something. Then the whole building starts shaking and I guess I'd just ball up and cry. Cuz what do you do when something ''that'' big wants to kill you?"

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' "I was afraid I was going to look down there and see this giant eyeball looking up at me, angry at me cuz 'cause I blew off its eyelashes or something. Then the whole building starts shaking and I guess I'd just ball up and cry. Cuz 'Cause what do you do when something ''that'' big wants to kill you?"



* Radiation -- The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

to:

* Radiation -- Radiation: The Gift That Keeps On Giving!



* Freeman's 'shaky' grasp of electrical theory:

to:

* Freeman's 'shaky' shaky grasp of electrical theory:



--> "Okay, I'm your dance instructor-no, you're starting too early! Stop that! I SAID STOP THAT! One two three LEFT! One two three LEFT! No, you're rhythm's all wrong! Ugh... I give up. I can't teach this class. Some people just don't want to learn, you know?"

to:

--> "Okay, I'm your dance instructor-no, you're starting too early! Stop that! I SAID STOP THAT! One two three LEFT! One two three LEFT! No, you're your rhythm's all wrong! Ugh... I give up. I can't teach this class. Some people just don't want to learn, you know?"



-->'''Shephard''': [''thinking it's the skeleton''] AHHH! What the hell? Oh my god! I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the marines that died because of me!

to:

-->'''Shephard''': [''thinking it's the skeleton''] AHHH! What the hell? Oh my god! God! I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the marines that died because of me!



--> '''Shephard''': Yes, please put me on with your supervi-- NO DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD! [''slams phone''] RRRGH JUST DIE! [''fires pistol'']

to:

--> '''Shephard''': Yes, please put me on with your supervi-- NO supervi--NO DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD! [''slams phone''] RRRGH JUST DIE! [''fires pistol'']
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--> '''Freeman:''' I suppose I could jump this, but if I stuff it, it's gonna hurt [[{{Understatement}} more than a little bit.]] I'll just play it safe and crawl under. [''Does so''] I don't recall safety regulations saying anything about jumping over explosives, but that would be dope if we had athletes do that at the Olympics though. If a runner screws up he just explodes. I bet it would increase performance..."

to:

--> '''Freeman:''' I suppose I could jump this, but if I stuff scuff it, it's gonna hurt [[{{Understatement}} more than a little bit.]] I'll just play it safe and crawl under. [''Does so''] I don't recall safety regulations saying anything about jumping over explosives, but that would be dope if we had athletes do that at the Olympics though. If a runner screws up he just explodes. I bet it would increase performance..."
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* "Yeah, it's a shame. Here we are in an underground cave with all these lasers, and instead of having a rave, we're using it [[ForTehEvulz for evil.]]"

to:

* "Yeah, it's a shame. Here we are in an underground cave with all these lasers, and instead of having a rave, we're using it [[ForTehEvulz [[ForTheEvulz for evil.]]"
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** "Hey, I can't limbo this! It goes though the floor! That's cheating! Look at this thing! It's an etch a sketch from HELL!"
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to:

* Saying "Over here, you forgot your bullets. Take some of mine!" as he strolls up and shoots down a group of marines. Ending with a cheery "You're welcome!" when he kills the last one.
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* Freeman accidentally letting out the Grunt in the biolab.


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* "I'm kind of like glass in a way. I'll tear people to shreds when I can't do my job."
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--> '''Freeman:''' Ahh, [[HellIsThatSound stop that noise!]] I hate that! It reminds me of that dream I have where I'm strapped to a gurney watching FraggleRock with flashing lights on either side of me, then I realize: I'm in Hell!

to:

--> '''Freeman:''' Ahh, [[HellIsThatSound stop that noise!]] I hate that! It reminds me of that dream I have where I'm strapped to a gurney watching FraggleRock with flashing lights on either side of me, then I realize: I'm in Hell!Hell! It's all crap anyway. The only reason they we have those scanners is because they caught me playing racquet ball in here once.

Added: 48

Changed: 1

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--> '''Freeman:''' "You know how when they say you are part of the help or part of the problem well they were talking about you. [shoots] There now you're part of the solution.

to:

--> '''Freeman:''' "You know how when they say you are part of the help or part of the problem well they were talking about you. [shoots] There now you're part of the solution."
* "White men in armored Hazmat suits can't jump"
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* Dealing with a zombie:
--> '''Freeman:''' "You know how when they say you are part of the help or part of the problem well they were talking about you. [shoots] There now you're part of the solution.
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* His musings about how, in grad school, he could get shitfaced one day, hook up an IV with a saline solution, and go to class the next day with little more than a good buzz...all because he had a med student as a roommate.

to:

* His musings about how, in grad school, he could get shitfaced one day, hook up an IV with a saline solution, and go to class the next day with little more than a good buzz...all because he had a med student as a roommate. roommate who gave him that tip.

Added: 223

Changed: 22

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-->'''Freeman:''' "Who else... [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman Charles Whitman]], military training. [...] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_C._York Alvin York]] killed dozens of people, and he was a hero! He didn't even want to, he was like me... am I a hero? Eh, I don't know... I don't think it's heroic if the only person you're saving is yourself."

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' "Who else... [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman Charles Whitman]], military training. [...] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_C._York Alvin York]] killed dozens of people, and he was a hero! He didn't even want to, he was like me... am I a hero? Eh, I don't know... I don't think it's heroic if the only person you're saving is yourself."



* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext FUCK YOU FISH!]]"

to:

* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext FUCK YOU FISH!]]"YOU, FISH!]]"
* His musings about how, in grad school, he could get shitfaced one day, hook up an IV with a saline solution, and go to class the next day with little more than a good buzz...all because he had a med student as a roommate.



-->'''Freeman:''' [[MobyDick Call me Ishmael]], ''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]''! [...] I am a ''badass'' pool boy.


to:

-->'''Freeman:''' [[BigYes YEAAAAH!]] [[MobyDick Call me Ishmael]], ''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]''! [...] I am a ''badass'' pool boy.

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* "Oh this is that door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION! RAAUUUGHH! ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actualy I was just kidding,]] [[SarcasmMode I don't like that option.]]"

to:

* "Oh this is that door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION! RAAUUUGHH! ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actualy Actually I was just kidding,]] [[SarcasmMode I don't like that option.]]"


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* Barney's Mind:
** From Episode 5, after Barney encounters a dead security officer.
--> '''Barney''': (ducks beside the body) "I think I'd better check for a pulse." (stands) "Nope, no pulse." (ducks) "Maybe definitely..." (stands) "Nope, no wallet either."

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Changed: 18

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* Sheperd's Mind:

to:

* Sheperd's Shephard's Mind:



** Shepard thinks that all the skeletons in the room he is in are talking to him:

to:

** Shepard Shephard thinks that all the skeletons in the room he is in are talking to him:



-->'''Shepard''': [''thinking it's the skeleton''] AHHH! What the hell? Oh my god! I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the marines that died because of me!

to:

-->'''Shepard''': -->'''Shephard''': [''thinking it's the skeleton''] AHHH! What the hell? Oh my god! I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the marines that died because of me!



-->'''Shepard''': [''still talking to the skeleton''] I know... you were just following orders. It wasn't your fault, soldier. [''sits down next to the skeleton and starts crying'']
** Shepherd finds a phone and tries to call for help. It doesn't go well.
--> '''Shepherd''': Yes, please put me on with your supervi-- NO DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD! [''slams phone''] RRRGH JUST DIE! [''fires pistol'']
--> '''Shepherd''': [''calmly, to the scientist''] Phone's dead.

to:

-->'''Shepard''': -->'''Shepahrd''': [''still talking to the skeleton''] I know... you were just following orders. It wasn't your fault, soldier. [''sits down next to the skeleton and starts crying'']
** Shepherd Shephard finds a phone and tries to call for help. It doesn't go well.
--> '''Shepherd''': '''Shephard''': Yes, please put me on with your supervi-- NO DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD! [''slams phone''] RRRGH JUST DIE! [''fires pistol'']
--> '''Shepherd''': '''Shephard''': [''calmly, to the scientist''] Phone's dead.



** "I am ''so'' not geared for this instance!"



--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': "All right. I was never a good marine. I couldn't protect the people under my command. I never caught Freeman. I couldn't go fifteen meters without running into some insurmountable delay. I didn't earn my advanced training or even my rank as Corporal. Some guys just dropped it on me! I'm not even fighting for a cause, I just don't want to die. All the good things I did today were just because I was backed into a corner and could only keep charging forward."]]

to:

--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': '''Shephard''': "All right. I was never a good marine. I couldn't protect the people under my command. I never caught Freeman. I couldn't go fifteen meters without running into some insurmountable delay. I didn't earn my advanced training or even my rank as Corporal. Some guys just dropped it on me! I'm not even fighting for a cause, I just don't want to die. All the good things I did today were just because I was backed into a corner and could only keep charging forward."]]



--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': "If I die today, nobody's gonna remember. Adrian Shepherd might as well never have existed. And you know what? I refuse to believe that this overconvoluted clusterfuck of a disaster happened just so I could get eaten by a giant squid in a dusty ventilation shaft! So screw it. I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna fight, and I'm gonna fucking win! Come and get me yo-"]]

to:

--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': '''Shephard''': "If I die today, nobody's gonna remember. Adrian Shepherd might as well never have existed. And you know what? I refuse to believe that this overconvoluted clusterfuck of a disaster happened just so I could get eaten by a giant squid in a dusty ventilation shaft! So screw it. I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna fight, and I'm gonna fucking win! Come and get me yo-"]]



--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': "Ow! Leg cramp, leg cramp, ow! Jeez! Ow, damn! Man! I really need to remember to limber up before this kind of crap. Anyway, have at you!"]]

to:

--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': '''Shephard''': "Ow! Leg cramp, leg cramp, ow! Jeez! Ow, damn! Man! I really need to remember to limber up before this kind of crap. Anyway, have at you!"]]

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Changed: 16

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* "Oh this is that door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION! RAAUUUGHH! ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actualy I was just kidding, I don't like that option.]]"

to:

* "Oh this is that door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION! RAAUUUGHH! ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actualy I was just kidding, kidding,]] [[SarcasmMode I don't like that option.]]"


Added DiffLines:

* When he is confronted by some Houndeyes, the following dialogue takes place:
--> "Okay, I'm your dance instructor-no, you're starting too early! Stop that! I SAID STOP THAT! One two three LEFT! One two three LEFT! No, you're rhythm's all wrong! Ugh... I give up. I can't teach this class. Some people just don't want to learn, you know?"
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Added DiffLines:

* A timely intercom announcement makes for great comedy.
-->'''Gordon''': I think that intercom just said "Turret Maintenance to Central Command". Yeah, they have a few things to answer for. Like why our turrets are killing everyone in the building.
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* Right after the resonance cascade and Freeman sees all the death and destruction caused by it, he walks up to a pair of scientists.

to:

* Right after the resonance cascade and Freeman sees all the death and destruction caused by it, he walks up to a pair of scientists.Eli and another scientist

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* First 30 seconds of the series, as his tram passes by a security guard banging on a locked door:

to:

* First 30 seconds of the series, as his tram passes by a security guard (Barney Calhoun) banging on a locked door:


Added DiffLines:

** This was even referenced in Ian Rileys ''Barneys Mind''
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* "Unlike my colleagues, I have a tendency to stay alive. Since this morning, I've been [[ManBitesMan bitten]], [[OnlyAFleshWound shot]], [[FieryCoverup bombed]], [[ShockAndAwe electrocuted]], [[SuperDrowningSkills almost drowned]], [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou almost fallen to my death]], and [[NeckLift strangled]]. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputin Rasputin]] [[RasputinDeath wasn't so lucky]]! But, here I am, [[ILoveNuclearPower exposing myself to radiation.]] Why not? Let's add to the list: maybe I can get [[KillItWithFire burned]], [[KnifeNut stabbed]], and [[PoisonedWeapons poisoned]] before the day is done."

to:

* "Unlike my colleagues, I have a tendency to stay alive. Since this morning, I've been [[ManBitesMan bitten]], [[OnlyAFleshWound shot]], [[FieryCoverup bombed]], [[ShockAndAwe electrocuted]], [[SuperDrowningSkills almost drowned]], [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou almost fallen to my death]], and [[NeckLift strangled]]. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputin Rasputin]] [[RasputinDeath [[RasputinianDeath wasn't so lucky]]! But, here I am, [[ILoveNuclearPower exposing myself to radiation.]] Why not? Let's add to the list: maybe I can get [[KillItWithFire burned]], [[KnifeNut stabbed]], and [[PoisonedWeapons poisoned]] before the day is done."
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He picked it up to find it a new home. He later found out it was aweapon


** (upon picking up a spore launcher) [[FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]

to:

** (upon picking up (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a spore rocket launcher) [[FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]

Added: 54708

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I thought I copied the Funny Moments section from the original ptitle... fixed


[[quoteright:280:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/_s_Mind.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:280:This is your brain on Gordon.]]

->''Ah, tick-tick-tock...is that the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both! That's right, here at Black Mesa when we talk about [[TitleDrop Half Life]], we mean it in [[JustifiedTitle more ways than one.]] So make your peace and come to Black Mesa! Here you'll win a chance to fight [[AliensAndMonsters freaks of nature]]; [[NoOSHACompliance escape countless safety hazards]]; [[DoorToBefore wander aimlessly for hours]]; and [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel die scared, tired and alone]]!''
-->--'''Gordon Freeman'''

''Freeman's Mind'' is a {{Machinima}} by Ross Scott that's somewhere between a LetsPlay and an AbridgedSeries of the original ''HalfLife''. The series follows the rambling, eccentric and narcissistic thoughts of SilentProtagonist Gordon Freeman as he tries to survive the events of the game, showing us that perhaps it was for the better he kept his mouth shut.

Check it out [[http://www.accursedfarms.com/movies/fm/ here]].

For both the official (with Ross's approval) Mind sidestories of Adrian Shephard, Barney Calhoun, Chell, Parker, Felix, and Freeman(-ish) respectively, see also [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNaJX6gOYMA Shephard's Mind]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGgO8O6JuM8 Barney's Mind]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgncUYbzMA Chell's Mind.]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFR1hzjV4HA Parker's Mind.]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs1Z4UqW_Ak Felix's Mind.]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AH0Y7Pla_s Freeman's(-ish) Mind 2.]]

to:

[[quoteright:280:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/_s_Mind.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:280:This is your brain on Gordon.]]

->''Ah, tick-tick-tock...is that
!!Freeman's Mind
Relive ''{{Half-Life}}'' while listening to
the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both! That's right, here at Black Mesa when we talk about [[TitleDrop Half Life]], we mean it in [[JustifiedTitle more ways than one.]] So make your peace and come to Black Mesa! Here you'll win a chance to fight [[AliensAndMonsters freaks of nature]]; [[NoOSHACompliance escape countless safety hazards]]; [[DoorToBefore wander aimlessly for hours]]; and [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel die scared, tired and alone]]!''
-->--'''Gordon Freeman'''

''Freeman's Mind'' is a {{Machinima}} by Ross Scott that's somewhere between a LetsPlay and an AbridgedSeries of the original ''HalfLife''. The series follows the rambling, eccentric and narcissistic
thoughts of SilentProtagonist Gordon Freeman as he tries to survive the events of the game, showing us that perhaps it was for the better he kept his mouth shut.

Check it out [[http://www.accursedfarms.com/movies/fm/ here]].

For both the official (with Ross's approval) Mind sidestories of Adrian Shephard, Barney Calhoun, Chell, Parker, Felix, and Freeman(-ish) respectively, see also [[http://www.
its protagonist in...''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNaJX6gOYMA Shephard's Mind]], com/watch?v=7J80KD4BG7M Freeman's Mind]]''

[[AC:Episode 0 (Hazard Course)]]
* "Looks like I'm the one stuck having to do training... Ass. Slap-age."
* "The only reason I'm here is because everyone else on the team is too damned frail to do any physical activity whatsoever. So, because I can lift a box, I'm automatically the lab gofer."
* More 'basic' training:
--> '''Holographic Assistant:''' "Walk directly into the ladder, look up, and continue moving forward. If you want to come back down, just move backward."
--> '''Freeman:''' "'To wipe your ass, first orient your hand behind yourself, then move it forward... or backward.' Honestly, who doesn't know how to use a ladder? I mean, it's a ''LADDER''! Somehow, I don't think this program is designed for the gifted."
* The conclusion of 'Jump Training':
--> '''Hologuide:''' "Now that you're up here, there's only one way down."
--> '''Freeman:''' ''(Looking around)'' "Where?"
--> '''Hologuide:''' "Find the target on the floor below, and do your best to hit it."
--> '''Freeman:''' [[FlatWhat "What."]]
--> '''Hologuide:''' "If you take any damage from the fall, we will administer medical care at the next station."
--> '''Freeman:''' "Is this a joke? They want me to jump from this height onto ''flat concrete?!'' There must be a typo with the instructions or something that no one corrected. I could climb down, but they want me to hit that target. I'm not doing that, that's retarded! So... I guess I failed the "lemming" portion of the test, but hopefully that's not required to pass the whole course. Well, training's over! I think I'll get out of here and go take my lunch break. ''(pause)'' I'll just tell everyone I passed training. Nobody's going to check this."

[[AC:Episode 1]]
* First 30 seconds of the series, as his tram passes by a security guard banging on a locked door:
--> '''Freeman:''' "Ah, I'm not the only one who's late. SUCKEEEEEEER!"
* Freeman's Priceless Safety 'Revelation':
--> '''Black Mesa P.A.:''' "In the event of an emergency . . . please stay away from electrified rails, and proceed to an emergency station until assistance arrives."
--> '''Freeman:''' "Man, how dumb would you have to be? I mean, they're not going to say something like that unless somebody's already tried to do it, right? I guess if I was drunk enough I might climb out the window here and pull some hang-time on the electrified tram rail. That kind of reminds me of the squirrel that got caught between the power lines one day back at [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massachusetts_Institute_of_Technology M.I.T.]] The thing caught on fire and got fused to the wires, which caused a transformer to blow out and knock out power to all of campus. That squirrel must have cost the university at least ten thousand dollars. It was a good day."
* "Man, are they still talking about hiring? I guess my cousin Jessie needs a job... If only he wasn't a sex offender, it'd be so much easier to find something for him."
* [''Sees a cargo robot ahead of the tram''] "Woah... '''WE'RE GONNA CRASH!''' ...Oh good, it stopped."
* [''seeing a radioactive spill''] Hey, what's that green crap? What is this?! ''Jesus Christ'', look at this place! This is a disaster! That's gotta be toxic. God, the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Environmental_Protection_Agency E.P.A.]] is gonna tear us apart if they find out about that! Well, I'm not saying anything. I don't want to get called in as a witness in court when the cat gets out of the bag.
* "Yeah, ya know what? I don't even ''care'' any more. By the time I get suited up I'm gonna be over ''an hour late.'' I figure I'm either fired, or I'm not."

[[AC:Episode 2]]
* [''Stops outside an office''] "Wait a minute... Did I see what I think I did? [''enters lab, looks at whiteboard''] Yep, I sure did. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Universal_Gravitation Newton's formula for gravitational force.]] Having trouble remembering that one, guys? What is this, are we back in high school now? My department's working on quantum displacement. Just what the hell are you guys doing? Jerking around in lab coats from the looks of things! [''leaves''] I just can't believe it. Those monkeys are having trouble learning about gravity. Whereas I can recite the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_chromodynamics quantum chromodynamic]] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gauge_invariance gauge invariant]] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lagrangian lagrangian]] in my sleep! There is no justice... am I hearing things?"
** [''walking into the "computer lab" for the first time''] "TURN DOWN THE MUSIC, YOU FRIGGIN'
[[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bass-head BASS-HEADS!]] IT SOUNDS LIKE A STRIP CLUB IN HERE! GOD DAMN! LET'S GET SOME DANCING GIRLS IN CAGES, WHY DON'T YOU?! GOOD LORD!" [''walks out''] "Man! Programmers...who knows what they're doing in there! They're gonna go deaf by the end of the year at that rate. Next time I have to go in there, I'll bring some ear protection!"
--> (The song is [[http://www.
youtube.com/watch?v=aGgO8O6JuM8 Barney's Mind]], com/watch?v=xjj9umuLn0w&feature=related Power Plant]] from ''OneMustFall.'' There may even be a few YouTube videos of the song without comments quoting the above.)
* "Man, my voice falls on deaf ears... I wonder if [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman Feynman]] felt the same way? [''opens locker''] What the hell...? Whose stuff is this? There my name, but... A bowling certificate? Baby pictures? A blue poncho? Where's all my stuff?! WHERE'S MY STASH!? This is freaking me out..."
* The H.E.V. Notification System:
--> '''Freeman:''' [''donning his HEV suit''] Oh, come on! Now somebody's taken my helmet! [''{{Beat}}''] Ah, screw it... [[TemptingFate I probably won't need it anyway.]]
--> '''Hazard Suit:''' [[AC:Welcome to the H.E.V. Mark IV protective system--]]
--> '''Freeman:''' Oh no, [[MostAnnoyingSound there's that voice.]]
--> '''Hazard Suit:''' [[AC:--[[CaptainObvious for use in hazardous environment conditions]].]]
--> '''Freeman:''' Shh!
--> '''Hazard Suit:''' [[AC:[[BulletProofVest High-impact reactive armor:]] activated. Atmospheric contaminant sensors: activated]].
--> '''Freeman:''' Quiet!
--> '''Hazard Suit:''' [[AC:[[{{Flatline}} Vital sign monitoring:]] activated. [[WorstAid Automatic medical systems engaged]].]]
--> '''Freeman:''' Man, this suit does not shut up.
--> '''Hazard Suit:''' [[AC:[[BottomlessMagazines Munition level monitoring:]] activated. [[HearingVoices Communications interface:]] online.]]
--> '''Freeman:''' OK, this thing's ridiculous. Where's the "off" button? [mutes suit] There we go... huh. Didn't it say "munitions level monitoring?" What does that mean? Does the [[ArmCannon left hand]] turn into a [[MoreDakka chaingun?]] I wish.

[[AC:Episode 3]]
* "I always wanted to be an [[MadScientist Evil Scientist]]... [''[[LaughingMad Maniacal Laughter]]''] Okay, I better chill out; I don't want [[NoodleIncident a repeat of Monday.]]"
* Walking past a laser tube: "[[FrickinLaserBeams LASER!]] [[YouHaveBeenWarned ...Caution]] ...LASER! [[RuleOfThree ...Caution ...LASER!]] [[OverlyLongGag ...Caution ...LASER!]] ... ''[[SarcasmMode What could it mean?]]''"
* Does my beard intimidate you?
* When two scientists use Retinal Scanners to open the Test Chamber for Dr. Freeman:
--> '''Freeman:''' Ahh, [[HellIsThatSound stop that noise!]] I hate that! It reminds me of that dream I have where I'm strapped to a gurney watching FraggleRock with flashing lights on either side of me, then I realize: I'm in Hell!
* "I like climbing things, it appeals to my simian instincts. And also, makes me regret how I have no tail. Damn my genes; [[ShoutOut I have no tail]], [[IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream and I must swing...]]"
* Times like this, I remember why I became a Physicist: to show anti-matter particles WHO'S BAWSS! YEAH!!
* Man, I hope we get some good readings today; depending on what we find, we might just disprove [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/String_theory string theory]]. That would make my day... and I wouldn't be gracious about it, either; I'd rub people's faces in it!
* "This is a ''[[ScienceIsBad bad experiment!]]'' We are ''[[MorallyAmbiguousDoctorate bad people!]]'' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Why did we usher forth]] the ''[[ApocalypseHow green apocalypse?!]]''"
--> "What happened? Where am I? Am I dead? I don't feel dead...but how would I know?!...If this is what it's like to be dead, then being dead ''sucks!''"
--> [[OhCrap Oh, shit!]] That's the ceiling! [[BrickJoke WHERE'S MY HELMET!?!]]
--> "Who are you?...''No!'' [[EscapeFromTheCrazyPlace I don't ''wanna'' be a schizophrenic!"]]
--> [''Just as the video is fading out and the studio logo is shown''] "Oh my God, this is crazy-in-a-box with a side order of fries..."

[[AC:Episode 4]]
* [''Gordon is back in the Test Chamber''] "No...no, no, no, no, n-Huh, what? Hehe...hahaha! I'm not in Crazy Land anymore! Man that was weirder than when I stayed up for 48 hours straight and thought my house was being invaded by Frog People!"
* "I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes, ordering you to open!" [''door opens''] Yes! [''door closes''] No! [''door malfunctions''] Shit. Uhh... don'tkillme!"
* "I am on a roll! [[MurphysLaw Murphy's Law]] can suck it!"
* "You can just ''smell'' the money burning in this place..."
* "''Boned.''"
* "I ''hate'' computers! Why do they always [[ExplosiveInstrumentation blow up]] when I use them?"
* Right after the resonance cascade and Freeman sees all the death and destruction caused by it, he walks up to a pair of scientists.
-->'''Freeman:''' He-hey! Boy, we really fucked up this time, huh?
* [Facing down a headcrab unarmed] "Okay, I can do this. I am the matador. I fearlessly-" [headcrab jumps] "FUCK! SHIT! PISS! Those things BITE!"
* "I've been meaning to take Kung Fu lessons for years now because I knew there'd be a day like today and I would be ready. But I kept putting it off, and here I am totally unprepared and not knowing Kung Fu! Procrastination has failed me, yet again."
* "Today, all my Limbo practice pays off!"
* [''Reading a Warning Sign''] " 'Do not use Elevators.' " [''Pushes the elevator button; drops the elevator car with two scientists aboard''] Oh shit, they weren't kidding! Aww jeez, what do I do; the door won't open! RRRGH! [''smashes the glass door''] Oh, what should I do? I guess, uh... SORRY! DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU! Oh man; I hope they at least were jerks..."

[[AC:Episode 5]]
* "Follow the dead body road! Follow the dead body road! Follow, follow, foll- damn! Look at all that blood!"
** Followed by Gordon contemplating how much money he could make selling the blood, organs and/or cadavers.
*** and, "Oh, good. more blood! I was starting to get worried! God, what happened? this guy looks like he got hit by a steamroller!"
* Upon discovering the Entry Door to the Sector is locked:
--> '''Freeman:''' "Oh, you've ''got'' to be shitting me. I'm gonna sue the hell out of Black Mesa when I get out of here! Locking your workers in? That's what the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangle_Shirtwaist_Factory Triangle Shirtwaist factory]] did! Locked its workers in, then there was [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangle_Shirtwaist_Factory_fire a fire]], then everybody died! That's a formula for success. Damn it! We're making history right now - crap history! [''smashes console with crowbar, door opens''] What? Ha-ha! I am incredible. Is there any end to the number of problems that I can solve just by beating the hell out of something? I'm not sure there is!
* That's how I say "Open Sesame"... with a crowbar to the face!
* Trying to save a scientist:
--> '''Freeman:''' [[TakeMyHand Give me your hand!]]
--> [''Scientist falls to his death'']
--> '''Freeman:''' No, your ''other'' hand, you idiot!
-->[''later'']
--> '''Freeman:''' "Why does everyone have to keep dying on me? Is it really so hard to just not die? I mean, look at me! I was in the chamber at freaking ground zero and I'm still here! Yet you guys slip on a banana peel and that's it! Ugh. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin Darwin]] was right. I didn't realize I was working with a bunch of lemmings."
* Freeman contemplating whether or not the Programmers were killed by the aliens, or simply "raved themselves to death."
** [[AC:"Escape From Techno Hell!"]]
* "He-hey, gunshots! 'Where there's a gun, there's fun!' ...Or not."
** "Welp, time to play God. Let's see people disrespect me now. They'll find out what happens when they mess with [[CallForward The Freeman]]."

[[AC:Episode 6]]
* "It's the same story ''every'' time! You give people the benefit of the doubt and they try to kill you!"
* "Okay, that's it; it's official: [[AliensAreBastards All aliens are bastards!]]"
* After spotting a scientist hiding in a dumpster:
--> '''Freeman:''' "Hey, a Jack-in-the-Box!"
* "Uh-oh, train's leaving the station. All aboard!" *Headcrabs leap out* "No, not you! ''You don't have a ticket!''"
** "Damn, this suit does ''not'' protect against gravity." [....] "Facehuggers! Okay, batter up. Strike one. Strike two. Strike- AAAH! It's raining men! I mean aliens!"
** "Why is this taking so long?! I could ''fall'' faster than this!"
** "''No''! Shut up! No-one cares about your opinion! You have no rights! ''You're all illegal immigrants!'' Now just do what you're told and jump off this giant meatgrinder! ''No!'' You're ''doing it wrong!'' You're ''all incompetent!''"
** Directly after this, when he walks onto a catwalk that promptly breaks underneath him, "'''''WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT HAPPENED?!!"'''''


[[AC:Episode 7]]
* "Okay, now I have some options. I can either fall to my death in this black pit, land on the edge and gore myself on jagged metal mesh, or land on the concrete and maybe break my legs! And before all I had was the pit."
* Cthulhu Dogs.
* After encountering another broken catwalk:
--> '''Freeman:''' Hey, a rope! Now I can be Tarzan!
--> [''imitates Tarzan yell, sees the "rope" belongs to a barnacle'']
--> '''Freeman:''' Hey, wait, that's not a rope! These are, like, jellyfish or something. If I swung on that, it could come crashing down on me. These aliens are just good for nothing.
-->[''jumps off catwalk, lands on a crate'']
-->'''Freeman:''' These crates are good for something. That one just broke my fall. That means aliens are worth less than crates! Which is, what, a few dollars?
* "Wow. I wasn't expecting this. This must be our box-smashing room. I mean, what? We have a bottomless pit, and the sides are all plate metal that looks strong enough to withstand a missile blast. This room must have cost a couple hundred thousand to build. Eat your heart out, taxpayers! This is where your money goes!"
* [[IncrediblyLamePun "What's up with this ceiling?"]]
* [[AC:Extreme Hopscotch]]
* Good old New Mexico! We're really making a name for the state. First they invented the atomic bomb at Los Alamos, and now we've invented mean-ass aliens that teleport out of nowhere! I don't know which is worse! When they invented the atomic bomb they were afraid it was going to catch the atmosphere on fire and burn up the whole Earth, but they did it anyway. That took balls. Not us, though. The only people taking the risks were the ones who didn't understand them in the first place. We're not brave, we're just stupid.
* "Wow, we picked the ''wrong'' contractor to build these catwalks... 'El Sleazo's Discount Construction: Bribing building inspectors for over 40 years!' "

[[AC:Episode 8]]
* "Huh. We've got so many dead bodies now, we're hanging them from the ceiling." [''Body pulled up out of sight''] "And then the ceiling eats them. I guess that works..."
* Freeman watching a shorted-out ceiling light:
-->[''Headcrab gets zapped'']
--> '''Freeman:''' Wha-ho! That shock took out a Face-hugger!
-->[''Another Headcrab electrocuted'']
--> '''Freeman:''' And another one! Will this guy make it?
-->[''Third Headcrab shocked'']
--> '''Freeman:''' Noooo... You are ''all'' popcorn!
* '''"BUGS!"'''
** '''"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!"'''
* "Crate City: For all your creative crate needs!"
* "Y'know, this reminds me of the time I came home from school, and there was some dead guy stuck in the smashed window of my apartment. He'd been trying to break in, but instead gutted himself on the insulated glass. That was '''not''' fun trying to explain that to the police..."
* Firing a gun inside the air-vent.
* [''discovers an untried door''] "Okay, let's... [''door locked''] "..cry. This locked door thing is getting ''real'' old."
* While pinned down by an automated turret gun:
--> '''Freeman:''' Hey, want to be my human shield?
--> '''Scientist:''' Shut up!
--> '''Freeman:''' Just an idea! [''looks around corner''] No, just a dead end... maybe I could force him out there if I waved my gun at him...
--> '''Scientist:''' Nuhh...
--> '''Freeman:''' Shit, did I say that out loud?

[[AC:Episode 9]]
* GIMMIE SOME DORITOS! Says the doctor while unsuccessfully trying to break the glass.
* In an unrelated headcrab-smashing incident:
-->'''Freeman:''' "OK, Children, class is in session! Everyone take your seat! [''begins wailing on headcrabs with crowbar''] I said 'Everyone take your SEAT'! Dammit Billy, that means you too! TAKE YOUR SEAT!!! Now, today's lesson is on- ...wait, what am I doing?"
* Freeman watches two scientists try to escape through the ventilation system:
-->'''Freeman:''' Oh, trying the vent thing, huh?
-->[''The scientists scream and die; organs pour out of the vent'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Ugh, you dumbasses! You can't go through the fan-blades!
* "I'll kill every one of you bastards! All I need are bullets! We have a lot of bullets here! '''''EARTH. IS A MINERAL. RICH. PLANET!''''' I BET YOUR PLANET SUCKS!"
* after nearly being eaten by a barnacle in the presence of a scientist
-->'''Freeman:''' What the fuck!?! Now I'm ''covered'' in blood! My hair... this is gonna jam my gun! [''to scientist''] And what about you! Enjoying the show!?!
-->'''Scientist:''' I just heard a secure-access transmission. Soldiers have arrived, and they're coming to rescue us. Of course, I have my doubts that we'll live long enough to greet them.
-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, thanks for the warning, asshole! I really appreciate how you stood there staring at me, not doing a goddamn thing! You're like a cat watching a mouse die!
* Freeman gets shot in the ear by a turret gun AND vomited on by a barnacle, and later gets some first aid near a guard.
-->'''Freeman:''' Ah, first aid. Yeah, need some gauze...
-->'''Guard:''' I'll bet that stings a bit.
-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, no shit Skippy. I've got more blood on me than an axe murderer. I'd be arrested if I were to approach a child looking like this.
* Upon seeing his first Exit Sign since the start of the series:
--> '''Freeman:''' Oh! An "Exit" sign! It's about bloody time.
--> [''door's locked'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Okay, remain calm...
-->[''bashes door with crowbar, glass doesn't break'']
--> '''Freeman:''' Jesus! Okay, we'll take this to the next level.
--> [''gunshot'']
--> '''Freeman:''' What the fuck? We installed bulletproof glass in our exit doors? That stuff's not cheap! How retarded are we!? I don't know anymore!
* Attacked by a multitude of Headcrabs near the end of the episode:
-->'''Freeman:''' Oh my God, this was NOT APPROVED BY THE COMMITTEE! I'M NOT TAKING ANY QUESTIONS! NO COMMENT! ''NO COMMENT!'' '''''NO COMMENT!'''''

[[AC:Episode 10]]
* "Brooahhh! Coffee coffee coffee. Coffee! It's not as strong as methamphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth."
* Seeing a scientist running for his life:
--> '''Freeman:''' Heyyy, where's the party?
-->[''Headcrab leaps at his face'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Oh God! Okay, lead the way! Where're we going?
-->[''Scientist retreats to a corner of the next room'']
-->'''Freeman:''' '''''What!?''''' You're gonna hide in the corner? What're you, five years old!?
-->[''Shoots a Bullsquid'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Man, now I'm almost out of bullets. Are you happy? I'm not! You know what? You can stay in the corner. You've earned it. I'm gonna come back with a dunce cap for you, and you're gonna wear it!
* "I'm probably carrying a few blood-borne diseases on my suit. I'm a walking [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centers_for_Disease_Control_and_Prevention C.D.C.]] nightmare. It makes me want to hug someone."
* '''"I'M NOT A GERBIL!"'''

[[AC:Episode 10.5 (April Fool's Day)]]
* "Feeling up dead people is how you get germs."
* "Call me Ali Baba. Open Sesame!" *BANG*
** Fires three shots at door "3 shots point blank... man, what the hell? It's like one of those doors in LooneyTunes where they blow up the building, but the door's still standing."
* Gordon's death. When he makes the running leap for the ladder and misses...
-->'''Freeman''': I should get a running start, though. This right here is why you should eat Wheaties in the morning...I guess ''any'' breakfast is better for you than [[INeedAFreakingDrink the two shots of vodka]] that I had. Whatever; let's do this! ''(starts running)'' Hoogasaka, hoogasaka, hoo--''(leaps, fails to grab the latter, starts plummeting)'' [[OhCrap OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT]]--'''''[[KilledMidSentence (SPLAT!)]]'''''\\
''(Flatlining noise)''\\
'''HEV Voice''': [[AC:HEV activated. Automatic medical systems engaged. Major fracture detected. Internal bleeding detected. Emergency! User death imminent.]]

[[AC:Episode 11]]
* Freeman gets some bad nachos:
-->'''Freeman:''' I need to find a phone so I can call their hotline and tell 'em I got bad nachos... and that the building's being attacked by aliens."
* "Well, there can't be anything good in that office if that guy was diving out the window, so I guess I have to take the elevator... [''{{Beat}}. Notices the elevator is out of order.''] I GUESS I HAVE TO TAKE THE ELEVATOR."
* "Now why is there no ladder here? The other elevator shaft had a ladder here! It was progressive!"
* "So, my only way out of here is to take some flying LeapOfFaith like that scene in IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade, then claw like a mad cat, and hope like hell I get a grip and don't break my ribs! Once again, I need a [[GrapplingHookPistol grappling hook.]] I can't believe this. Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator! ''How do you get to the ladder?'' '''You take the elevator that doesn't work!''' Who thought this one up?! Jesus Christ! I suppose I could do the math on whether this jump is feasible or not, but, you know... we'll have plenty of time for that when I'm dead.
* "Ohhh my God that was stupid! [[StupidityIsTheOnlyOption Why do I keep doing stupid things?!]] Oh my Guh- I could've died!"
* Freeman's ongoing battle versus the indiscriminate Turret Guns.
* Discovering the Submachine Gun -- It's not just for party tricks!
* "Your side is the one where everybody's dead and there are no exits! My side is filled with hope, love, and submachine guns!"
* '''"CRITIC!"'''
* [[TheShining "Come play with us Gordon... forever, and ever, and ever..."]]
** "Quit staring at me! ...Yeah, you!"

[[AC:Episode 12]]
* Gordon meets the Hazardous Environment Combat Unit marines (HECUs):
-->'''Scientist:''' Rescued at last! Thank God you're here!
-->'''Freeman:''' Aww yeah, the rescue team!
-->[''HECU guns down the scientist'']
-->'''Freeman:''' ...Or, um, what? Okay, I can understand shooting someone running at you screaming, but I don't know... this feels shady. Is there another way out of here? I think this guy's in a bad mood. Well... all right, fine, I'll try and go make friends, even though that always ends up the same way. [''looks again''] See, he's not even trying to plant a gun on him or hide the body. That's a bad sign, like this is just another day of work for him. I'll at least give him some warning, so I don't jump on him. Hey, killer, what's up?
-->[''HECU opens fire'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Ah! Dammit, diplomacy sucks!
-->[''Marine pursues and shoots him'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Ow! [''Gordon shoots and kills marine''] Hey, man, what's your problem!?! Why are you shooting everyone!? I'm taking this gun away from you, mister! You're obviously not mature enough to handle it! Now you sit there and think about what you've done!
** Freeman struggles with his 'conscience':
--->'''Freeman:''' So, yeah; I just killed a guy. Totally on purpose this time! I'll just keep on going and try not to think about that...
* Freeman's already been shot at by one soldier, and is starting to have doubts...
-->'''Scientist:''' Don't shoot, I'm with the science team!
-->'''Freeman:''' Hey, me too! But you go on first just in case they're not cool with that.
-->[''The scientist gets shot dead.'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, see, I'm just getting some bad vibes here...
* "''I HAVE A DOCTOR'S DEGREE!''" * BANG!* "You guys are dicks..."
* Freeman's 'conscience' again:
-->'''Freeman:''' So yeah, I'm killing people now... but that was not murder! It was totally self-defense. Just because I had a submachine gun doesn't change anything; it just lets me defend more efficiently. I haven't murdered anyone -- [[HeroicSociopath well, not today anyway...]]
* Gordon meets another squad of HECU marines:
-->'''Freeman:''' Oh, no. So, are we gonna play nice, or -
-->'''HECU:''' Movement!
-->[''Gordon guns down the soldiers'']
-->'''Freeman:''' Nope. Well, looks like my armor is better than yours! And I'll just loot your bodies, 'cause that's how I roll... and that puts me at six or seven counts of 'self-defense'.
* [[NothingCanStopUsNow "Heeyyyy! Surface Access! YES!!"]]

[[AC:Episode 13]]
* "[[INeedAFreakingDrink I'm gonna get so drunk tonight, like, way more than usual.]] Yeah! It's the surface! PARTY! PAR- [''Spots two HECU marines''] Dammit! It's the [[StopHavingFunGuys fun police!]]"
* Fighting HECU marines:
-->'''Freeman:''' [[HeroicSociopath I'm on your side, you fucking idiots!]] [[TriggerHappy How many of you do I have to kill]] [[TooDumbToLive for you to understand that? God damn, you're stupid! You're like a bunch of lemmings with machine guns!]] Do I look like an alien? Am I green? Do I have tentacles coming out of me? Give me this, and this! Hey is that a chopper? HEY, HEY, HEY!! HELP!! HELP ME!! [''air strike drives him indoors''] [[WhatTheHellHero WHAT THE FUCK!?]] [[StuffBlowingUp WHY ARE WE BOMBING?!]] There's nobody here! Why are the soldiers bombing each other? Is this real? I just wanna go home! [[OnlySaneMan Everyone is crazy except me!]] [[EverythingTryingToKillYou I don't understand, why is everyone trying to kill me? I'm awesome! Are you all jealous?!]]
* [[CaptainObvious "Shooting people isn't very nice!"]]
* In what is possibly one of the best quotes from anything ever, when shooting at the soliders outside... "Give peace a chance! Or at least stand still!"
* Freeman decides he "should've been a Tour Guide.":
-->[''Headcrab sneaks up on him'']
-->'''Freeman:''' You ''can't'' follow me! You don't have any money! ''That's the whole point!''
* "I want some Cheetos."
* "You can't get away with that kind of crap in physics. You have to have cold serious math to back up your theories. ...Well, except for the String Theory crowd. Those guys are a bunch of cultists. I think Steve and Richard sacrificed goats, that's why I was never allowed to come to their cook-outs."

[[AC:Episode 14]]
* "What am I thinking? I can't die here; I'll get hungry..."
* The Genie Scientist.
* Freeman ''finally'' gets his [[ShotgunsAreJustBetter shotgun!]]
-->'''Freeman:''' At least this shotgun won't deceive me; it's filled with pellets, ''not lies!''
* This exchange:
-->'''Scientist:''' Do you know who ate all the doughnuts?
-->'''Freeman:''' No! Do you know if [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lepton leptons]] are really compound particles?! Frickin' doughnuts...
* "See, the quality of my life is going straight up now that I have a shotgun."
* "Beep."
* "What is that noise? It sounds like somebody's frying bacon while smacking their head with the pan."
* "Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep; yeah I'm gonna go crazy doing that."
* "Ah, a radioactive spill! Part of me wants to believe we're not ''this'' criminally incompetent, but... I know better."

[[AC:Episode 15]]
* "Unlike my colleagues, I have a tendency to stay alive. Since this morning, I've been [[ManBitesMan bitten]], [[OnlyAFleshWound shot]], [[FieryCoverup bombed]], [[ShockAndAwe electrocuted]], [[SuperDrowningSkills almost drowned]], [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou almost fallen to my death]], and [[NeckLift strangled]]. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputin Rasputin]] [[RasputinDeath wasn't so lucky]]! But, here I am, [[ILoveNuclearPower exposing myself to radiation.]] Why not? Let's add to the list: maybe I can get [[KillItWithFire burned]], [[KnifeNut stabbed]], and [[PoisonedWeapons poisoned]] before the day is done."
* Gordon is crawling through pipes, rambling about how awesome it would be to have pneumatic pipes connecting his house to a liquor store. This being Gordon, he's going over all this in a fairly serious voice, and it's pretty funny. What makes it hilarious is when he pops out to jump into another pipe, says "I'm a gopher!" perkily, then continues his liquor store warp tube monologue as if nothing happened.
* On the subject of radiation:
-->'''Freeman:''' That's how Spider-Man got his powers, [''gets on a elevator''] that is such bullshit. For starters, [[ArtisticLicenseBiology the odds of a random mutation being beneficial are astronomical.]] But even if you did get one, you would get [[NuclearNasty radiation poisoning!]] Comic book writers know as much about science as I know about [''pauses and thinks''] Well, I'm a bad example since I know about almost everything, but the point is they can try harder!
* "I hate awkward pauses like this..." [''BLAM''] "And of course, I'm the one who has to break the ice..."
* "'''''MONKEY ON A STICK!''' WE'RE GETTING FINGERED BY GODZILLA!''"
* Freeman finally finds an excuse to use his grenade collection:
-->'''Freeman:''' Okay, I was waiting for an opportunity to use this [''pulls out a grenade''] and here it is, it's obvious! [[MaryPoppins a handful of shrapnel makes the medicine go down!]]

[[AC:Episode 16]]
* "That's right; I bang, you bang, we all bang together..."
* Freeman contemplates [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedrich_Nietzsche Nietzsche:]]
-->'''Freeman:''' What was that Nietzsche said? 'He who fights drummers should see to it that in the process he does not himself become a drummer'? Or was it monsters?
-->[''later'']
-->'''Freeman:''' No, it had to be drummers. That's a monster, and [[CompletelyMissingThePoint there's no way I'm gonna end up looking like that thing...]]
* On the contemplation of Military Spending:
-->'''Freeman:''' [[{{Foreshadowing}} "Of course, we might end up as a military police-state perpetually at war with aliens..."]]
* Fighting Headcrab Zombies:
-->'''Freeman:''' Oh, someone thinks they're smarter than me... I don't need to dignify this.
-->[''shotguns a zombie'']
-->'''Freeman:''' "You don't even ''have'' a degree! Well, your host bodies have degrees around here, but you're just latching onto that! That's even worse than one of those online degrees! You're parasites in every way!"

[[AC:Episode 17]]
* Freeman breaks open the door; creates an artificial vacuum. All because he wanted to throw the dead zombies into the fan-blades.
* "Stop persecuting me... all of you... jus'... stop..."
* "I've got shit to DOOOO!" Just the way he says it cracks me up.
* Freeman's 'sea turtle' plan.

[[AC:Episode 18]]
*
[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgncUYbzMA Chell's Mind.]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFR1hzjV4HA Parker's Mind.]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs1Z4UqW_Ak Felix's Mind.]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AH0Y7Pla_s Freeman's(-ish) Mind 2.com/watch?v=Q2YQkjhKNfw&feature=fvwrel Start at 5:00.]]
* Freeman's scientific sensibility starts to wear out:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Is that a pixie? Science hasn't ''dis''proven the existence of pixies!"
* "I climbed my way to safety! [[AGodAmI I AM A MONKEY GOD!]]" [''cue monkey-like sounds'']
* Ah, tick-tick-tock. Is that the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both! That's right. Here at Black Mesa, when we talk about "half-life," we mean it in [[JustifiedTitle more ways than one.]] So make your peace, and come to Black Mesa. Here, you'll win a chance to [[AliensAndMonsters fight freaks of nature]], [[NoOSHACompliance escape countless safety hazards]], [[DoorToBefore wander aimlessly for hours]], and [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel die scared, tired, and alone!]]
* "This is getting to be a chore, y'know? 'Wash the dishes, do the laundry, [[GetUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld shoot the Snot Thing]], empty the trash..."
* Freeman laments gravity:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Goddammit-Earth's-gravity-shouldn't-even-be-this-strong-for-a-planet-our-size. It's-only-this-way-because-there-are-so-many-metals-in-the-core-increasing-the-overall-density-and- oh fuck I'm gonna have to jump."
* "Life sucks sober!"
* "I mean it's not like I just came down the wrong corridor like I sometimes do. No, it's-" [''activates spinning cart-thing''] "WEEEEEEEEE!!" [''cart stops''] "It's worse than that."
* Freeman has a close encounter with hypnotism:
-->'''Scientist:''' Excellent! Someone has restored all power. We'll have the engine up again in no time.
-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, that room's dangerous, did you know that? It's a good thing I made it back OK. [''stares at spinning dial''] I was gonna... yeah, the... yes, master... no, stop! You can't kill me, so you're gonna try to control me, is that it? I'll never do your bidding! I've got a doctor's degree!
* "Wait, how'm I gonna get out of here? ...I should've thought about this sooner..."

[[AC:Episode 19]]
* After being forced to leap yet another chasm:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Okay, I rock! NOW STOP MAKING ME PROVE IT!"
* Freeman considers the tentacle monster as being a small part of a much larger creature:
-->'''Freeman:''' It's wearing me and this facility as a hat. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
* Taking out the giant alien in episode 19 that's been haunting him, also doubling as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome:
-->"Hey, the lights are on!" ''(hits the [[AC:Test Fire]] button, warning klaxon goes off)'' "Hey, it's doing something! Did somebody fix this? Wait...what did I just do?" ''(giant alien gets incinerated by the rocket jet firing)'' OH! YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, ''GET OUT OF THE ROCKET PROPULSION TEST CHAMBER!'' HA HA HA HA! BURN! ''BURN! '''BURN!!!''''' Physics rules!"

[[AC:Episode 20]]
* "Ugh. It smells like butt-rock in here."
* Freeman tries to understand Causality:
-->'''Freeman:''' Where is everybody? They're not up there. The guard's gone. I think I remember some explosives here. Now there's just scorch marks... bloodstain... and this is after firing that rocket... huh.
* Moving onward and... downward:
-->'''Freeman:''' Hey, that's a ladder! That means this is legit -- this might go somewhere! I mean, it probably leads to a room filled with poison gas and a bunch of dead people that look just like me, but I don't know that, so there's room for hope, I guess.
* On the subject of his previous monster theory:
-->'''Freeman:''' "I was afraid I was going to look down there and see this giant eyeball looking up at me, angry at me cuz I blew off its eyelashes or something. Then the whole building starts shaking and I guess I'd just ball up and cry. Cuz what do you do when something ''that'' big wants to kill you?"
* Freeman reconsiders his plan to do a Long-drop cannonball into a pool of water. And decides it was awesome anyway.
* [[TheFool "Awwright! I'm making a lot of progress for not knowing where the hell I'm going!"]]
* Seeing the river of Sludge:
-->'''Freeman:''' Jesus Christ, look how much we're pumping out! This is bad! I thought the other spills were bad, but I also thought they were contained like we had some sort of plan if this happened, but this is a river! I'm not a bleeding-heart ecologist and I have more pressing things on my mind, but fuck me! [[GreenAesop If this gets into the ground water... well, that's it. We've already been playing crash-and-burn with this whole facility, but this is us pissing on the ashes as our final tribute to the whole community.]]
* Radiation -- The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

[[AC:Episode 21]]
* Noticing a burning gas-leak:
-->'''Freeman:''' Wow, that looks hot. I want some marshmallows.
-->[''Vortiguants teleport in'']
-->'''Freeman:''' [''Shooting the Vortiguants''] What the hell are you looking at? I don't have any marshmallows and even if I did I wouldn't give any to you! They're MINE! Everything's MINE!
-->[''Takes a few steps forward; catwalk collapses.'']
-->'''Freeman:''' AHH! Well this facility's not mine. I thought I wanted it but now I don't.

[[AC:Episode 22]]
* "I'm not going to deal with this now. It's like the classic debate of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty_principle why measuring the position of an electron changes its momentum and vice-versa.]] [[TakeAThirdOption The only correct answer is to get drunk and set fire to things]]."
* "Man, if I get indicted once I leave here, this is getting harder and harder to explain. I don't think anyone's gonna buy a few dozen counts of self-defense with a submachine gun. I think there's kind of an unspoken rule in our society that if [[EverythingTryingToKillYou this many people are trying to kill you, you're supposed to be dead.]] I need to talk to an attorney. Maybe there's some sort of [[FirstBlood Rambo]] clause. But wait, Rambo goes to prison after the first movie. Fuck!"
* Freeman working on the Generator:
-->'''Freeman:''' This is ridiculous. The soldiers should be the ones fixing the generator, not me. I'm doing their job, AGAIN. First I'm killing everyone for them, now [[MrFixIt I'm playing engineer.]]
-->[''A Mawman surprises Gordon'']
-->'''Freeman:''' You don't even have a job! You're a vagrant!
* "Work, you antiquated piece of crap."
* Freeman's 'shaky' grasp of electrical theory:
-->'''Freeman:''' If that had hit me, the electricity would roll around inside my body and come out through the top. My [[YourHeadAsplode head would explode]] like a baked potato wrapped in tin-foil. It would pop off like a Pez container! ...Actually, if it wasn't me, that would be cool to watch if you got that on film. Your hair might catch on fire and look like that scene from {{Scanners}}, only this would be the real thing!

[[AC:Episode 23]]
* After being shot at by the military for the [[PerfectlyCromulentWord eleventy billionth]] time, he decides to use the strategy of "wait around a corner, let them pass, then shoot" that worked for him so far. But then the soldiers catch [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy on to him]]...
-->'''Freeman''': I'm not gonna stand for it; I worked too hard to get where I am! [[BadassBookworm I graduated from MIT!]] ''(gunfire)'' [[BadassBookworm My diploma's worth more than your life]]! ''(gunfire)'' Screw this; I'm just gonna wait for them to come around the corner again.\\
[''A grenade then bounces in just in front of Gordon.'']\\
'''Freeman''': ''(turning and running for his life)'' [[OhCrap OH SHIT!]] ''(distant explosion)'' Okay, natural selection! The dumb ones are all dead, so the survivors are a little bit smarter!
* Freeman grapples with his fading morality:
-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, it's strange. I thought I might start feeling weird about killing all these people, but really I don't. I think it's because [[SociopathicSoldier they're all pricks and deserve to die.]] I'll make a speech at their funerals if someone wants me to. I have no problem with going up to a grieving widow, and telling her I'm sorry for her loss, but her husband was a [[DumbMuscle rat-fuck meathead]] who tried to kill me for no goddamn reason, because he was too stupid to learn what the word "civilian" means. [[MercyKill If I hadn't put him down,]] he probably would have come home later and strangled you in your sleep. [[{{Fetish}} And not in the kinky way either...]] I know how you base wives are.
* [[{{Understatement}} I am not happy right now.]]

[[AC:Episode 24]]
* Being chased by a Gargantua:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Ok, that's close enough. [''Starts shooting''] Back, back, back, backbackbackbackAYIYIYIYII!" [''Gargantua explodes, but not because of being shot''] "YES! I ''MEANT'' TO DO THAT!"
* Freeman is growing rapidly more displeased with the level of effort he's being asked to invest:
-->'''Freeman:''' "You know, I'm an expert on electricity -- on the atomic level, anyway -- and this, to me, looks like the power's on. A bit more dramatic than what I was expecting, but still, on. I'm going back up to that train room and finding out what the Hell's going on here. That guard wasn't telling me the whole story. What he meant was "Hey, yeah! All you have to do is pump out all that bilge-water in the generator room, turn the power on to the generator, shoot everyone in sight, then come back around and turn on the DC generator, then go down to the storage room and roll a spool up here, then break out some pliers and electrical tape so you can lay down some HV cable, then just bust through a wall and wire up a new circuit, then do the same thing on the other end of the complex, and yeah, you'll have that train runnin' within the month!"
** But then, he finds another bright side:
--->'''Freeman:''' Of course, the real tragedy is that I didn't bring a camera. If I had been taking pictures, I'd be ready the next time I had to sit through some family members' slideshow. I could whip it out and be like "Fuck you, your pictures suck! Look at mine: There's me blowing up some bipedal alien the size of a dump truck; Here's me shooting some troops because I'm hardcore, yeah, I think we're done here. You brought this on yourself"."
* "Another exciting day in the life of a Forklift Operator!"
* Freeman contemplates putting the wounded guard to good use:
-->'''Freeman:''' Y'look like you've been gut-shot, so you're lucky I don't [[BodyHorror reach in there]] and [[{{Squick}} take out your small intestine]] and tie it off and use it as rope so I don't have to keep running up here!
* Reaches the train barricade:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this? You've gotta be fucking kidding. ...Boy, optimists are ''retards''."

[[AC:Episode 25]]
* Freeman contemplates his current situation:
-->'''Freeman:''' This reminds me back in High school where we had a Driver's Ed class and the Gym teacher was asking us which was more dangerous; Crashing a motorcycle at 60mph into a haystack or crashing a motorcycle at 60mph into a concrete divider. He got mad and started yelling at the class when no one answered. [''Stops, moves tram forward''] Okay! Time to end my tram-operating career! [''Jumps off tram as it moves to ram the blockade''] If I were a conductor, this is how I'd want to retire: Just jump off and let the train speed away with everyone on board.
** And, after discovering the 'concrete' was actually gray styrofoam:
--->'''Freeman:''' Hey, what the hell?! That should've stopped a dump-truck! Man I don't understand anything today... maybe they were just made out of styrofoam and painted to look like concrete...
* "I'm not an expert in the field, but that sounds to me like [[Left4Dead the cries of the damned.]]"
* "Oh that's great; I'm playing Jenga with my life..."
* "Bomb shelter parties are the best parties, because the bomb shelter parties don't stop... until everyone's dead."
* To a door:
-->'''Freeman:''' "QUIT. BEING. METAL!!!!" [''after fadeout''] "If I was a wizard this wouldn't be happening."

[[AC:Episode 26]]
* Yet another sanity slip:
-->'''Freeman:''' "I bet we have gnomes down there mining precious metals and gems. I want a gnome[...]I'd put my gnome in a cage and feed him granola. I think they'd eat that. Ah, who am I kidding, if the aliens got down there, they'd have eaten them all by now anyway. Gnomes are small. Wait, are gnomes even real?"
* You know, some people might argue [[AccentuateTheNegative I'm only focusing on the negative]], but I think that's because I can't think of one thing today anyone else has done right. All anyone has been doing today has been [[DieChairDie breaking things]], [[YouCanPanicNow running around screaming]], [[UnfriendlyFire shooting the wrong people]], or [[TooDumbToLive dying]]. I mean, what am I supposed to say to people? [[SarcasmMode "Wow, you sure did a good job falling down that elevator shaft!" Or "Way to lock yourself inside the freezer! I'm so proud of you."]]
* Okay, I see an alien and a dead body. I can put one and one together. [''Shoots at the bullsquid''] Actually, that's one and negative one. [''Shoots again, killing it''] Now it's negative two, and me. But wait, wouldn't I be number one? I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. See, this is why you have to define your terms. If you don't, people die.
* Everybody's lost except for me!
* A possible [[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony Experiment]] {{Shout Out}}: "Okay, cut that out, I'm really not trying to get in anybody's way!"

[[AC:Episode 27]]
* Episode 27 in its entirety -- Freeman celebrates 'Talk Like A Pirate Day'.
* "Ya blunderin' squid! What good are ya?!"

[[AC:Episode 28]]
* "This sounds like a job for Ambassador Pineapple." [''pulls out grenade''] "You'll be representing me on the floor. Now go out there and work your magic!" [''throws grenade, destroying the gun turret''] "Oh! Sounds like we came to a resolution!"
* "Hi, I'm selling these fine used bullets. Free samples!"
** "What the ''hell''? Did it just shut the ''door'' on me? [...] Ah, the missus of the house! Try some of our product!"
* Freeman is riding the tram and rambling about how a security guard is telling half-truths. He turns a corner, and a marine shoots a rocket launcher at him, leading to this gem:
-->'''Freeman:''' "It makes more sense to follow the advice of a half-liar, versus making completely random decisions like I have been." [''sees smoke from rocket being fired''] "What is that?" [''rocket streaks past him''] "JESUS CHRIST!!" [''jumps off tram''] "Next stop, right here! You can have the tram! Fuck!"
** After killing Rocky the Rocket Ranger:
--->'''Freeman:''' Okay, so how do -I- operate this thing? I wanna blow stuff up too!
* "Follow my advice and you'll die just like me! *ha-hyuck!*"
** “''‘[[ProperlyParanoid Aliens aren't invading, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid]].’ [[SubvertedTrope ‘The mailman’s not spying on you, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid]].’ What else... ‘There’s no society of anthropomorphic frog people living in the sewer, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid.’ ‘Owls can’t read your thoughts, Freeman. You’re just being paranoid.’ [[DoubleSubversion Bet you wouldn’t call me paranoid now if you were still alive!]]''”
* Freeman finally starts to catch on:
--> "You know, I'm really starting to think maybe this whole thing ''isn't'' a rescue operation."

[[AC:Episode 29]]
* "I ''HAVE'' TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP!!! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!!!"
* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinitrotoluene "Trinitrotoluene]] doesn't care what mood you're in..."
* "THOSE WEREN'T FIRECRACKERS!"
* "Is my education on electromagnetism wrong, or is the WORLD wrong...?"
* Upon spotting more Claymore mines:
--> '''Freeman:''' I suppose I could jump this, but if I stuff it, it's gonna hurt [[{{Understatement}} more than a little bit.]] I'll just play it safe and crawl under. [''Does so''] I don't recall safety regulations saying anything about jumping over explosives, but that would be dope if we had athletes do that at the Olympics though. If a runner screws up he just explodes. I bet it would increase performance..."
* After Freeman gets ambushed:
-->'''Freeman:''' "What the fuck!? Did they just pop out of a box? Why were they in a box!? That's Looney Tunes crap! Jesus! Well, they caught me off guard, I'll give them that. I wonder if that was their idea or it was approved by the chain of command. Yeah I could imagine a cigar smoking general ordering that." [''In the voice of a gruff military stereotype''] "Yes, put two soldiers in a box! When the enemy approaches, they just jump out. It's brilliant!"
** "I bet they're both named Jack, too."
* Freeman totally and completely spazzing out and emptying an entire shotgun clip after a zombie gets the jump on him and almost kills him.
* "Yeah, it's a shame. Here we are in an underground cave with all these lasers, and instead of having a rave, we're using it [[ForTehEvulz for evil.]]"
* After almost getting shot to death by a turret: [''finds a radio''] "So you're the one behind this!" [''Shoots it'']
* Freeman' reaction to hearing two soldiers blame him for killing their friends:
-->'''Freeman''': (immediately shoots them several times in the back) There, that's for trying to guilt trip me! Yeah, (in a mocking tone) the BigBad Freeman, [[SarcasmMode Of course! You guys didn't start shit!]]
* "That security guy said this track would take me to the surface. Okay, now what was the long way to the surface?"

[[AC:Episode 30]]
* Freeman approaches a blast door:
-->'''Freeman:''' Hey, a keypad! ...I don't know the code. I'll try some random numbers. [''beeping''] No? Okay, 1-3-3-7. [''beeping''] No... 1-2-3-4. [''door opens''] Ah-ha-ha! You know, as much as I'd like to claim this was the result of me being a genius, it's more that someone else was not.
* "These guys sound pretty chill considering there were gunshots and an explosion outside not two minutes earlier. I guess it doesn't occur to them to investigate that... Now we return to Ethical Dilemma Theater."
* "Self-defense isn't cutting it if I don't get to shoot first!"
* "Jesus Christ, I launched a missile. I'm not helping ANYTHING... AUGH MY EYES! GAZE UPON THE FIERY DOOM OF THIS EARTH! So, guess I just started World War 3. This has been a busy day, but in the end there's only one thing that matters: I did not leave any fingerprints. I was wearing my suit."
* "Oh! And what's this? Could this be a ''ridged'' pipe? That leads straight up the rock face? I think it is!" ''(On reaching the top)'' "...ah... that's right, I'm in New Mexico, aren't I? The middle of the desert. The ''middle'' of the ''desert'' Now that I think about it, the flight out here might have been longer than I remember. So, if I were to just pack it on foot, how far could I go? If I had food and water -- which I DON'T -- I could go twenty, maybe thirty miles in a day, assuming the sun didn't beat me down... which it would. I really should have thought about this sooner. OK, so maybe walking out is NOT the way to go here."

[[AC:Episode 31]]
* Freeman meets a sniper.
* Freeman acquires a Claymore.
* "I just thought of a paradox: maybe the ''more'' people I kill, the ''less'' likely it is that they'll blame it all on me! I mean, one guy killing five or ten people? Sure. But can they really pin dozens, and dozens, of armed military personnel on me?"
** "Anyway, my background doesn't fit the profile: No military training, never fired a gun, acquitted for petty theft, not a member of any extremist organizations, has a PhD in theoretical physics. [[SarcasmMode Yeah, that sounds like our man!]]"
*** "Who're some other spree killers? [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_McVeigh Timothy McVeigh]]; he had military training... [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Harvey_Oswald Lee Harvey Oswald]] wasn't a ''spree'' killer, but he received about as much government attention as I'm getting right now. He had military training... and was an extremist."
* "Witnessing a zombie eating a soldiers dead body:
-->'''Freeman:''' Ew, that's gross... Hey! get a room you two! [''shoots the zombie repeatedly''] This is a ''family'' missile silo. [''approaches the soldiers body''] I have nothing more to say to you."
* Back to his earlier train of thought:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Who else... [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman Charles Whitman]], military training. [...] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_C._York Alvin York]] killed dozens of people, and he was a hero! He didn't even want to, he was like me... am I a hero? Eh, I don't know... I don't think it's heroic if the only person you're saving is yourself."

[[AC:Episode 32]]
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext FUCK YOU FISH!]]"
* "You want to eat me? No, I'm not here to give you a free meal, you think I work at Seaworld?"
* Freeman killing the giant alien shark.
-->'''Freeman:''' [[MobyDick Call me Ishmael]], ''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]''! [...] I am a ''badass'' pool boy.


[[AC:Episode 33]]
* [[IncrediblyLamePun "I'M BOXED IN!"]]
* "That fish in a barrel trick doesn't work so well when the fish has a shotgun, huh?"
** "Tactical combat is ''strange'', man."
* "Wait, I was supposed to ''stop'' pressing strange buttons, wasn't I? I haven't learned anything!"
* "Error 482: Somebody shot the server with a 12-Gauge. Please contact your Administrator."
* "Quiero un poco de drogas. Donde estan? Tengo dinero."
-->"I want some drugs. Where are they? I have money."
* Freeman discovers his suit is full of tracking devices. He doesn't respond well.

[[AC:Episode 34]]
* The Freezer Room.
* "[[ShoutOut No respect, man.]] [[RodneyDangerfield No respect at all...]]"
* Contemplating who shot a random guard he was talking to:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Maybe the problem just went away... Maybe I just willed it out of existence... Maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."
* "Fucking ninjas man..."
** "I was not ready for this. Who is ready for this? No one, they're fucking ninjas."
* After surviving a firefight with Black Ops:
-->'''Freeman:''' "Well, this settles it. Black Mesa is a [[EvilInc James Bond villain company]]. We have [[NukeEm missiles]], [[MechanicalMonster robots]], [[FrickinLaserBeams lasers]], [[EverythingsEvenWorseWithSharks sharks]], and [[McNinja ninjas.]]"

[[AC:Episode 35]]
* The Fermion Lecture.
* Freeman trying to piece together last night's events. And getting it completely wrong.
* [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal "The ruptured rusty rods reveal a rift!"]]

[[AC:Episode 36]]
* "Maybe I was in the biology lab trying to hit on Heather again, then she just lost it and knocked me unconscious, then tried to dump my body because, let's face it, she can be pretty stone cold. Well it didn't work, Heather! Now I have a gun! You can't stop the Freeman! [''runs into a locked door''] Well okay, I guess ''doors'' can stop the Freeman..."
* "I expect a certain level of safety and comfort when I break into a place..."

[[AC:Episode 37]]
* During his first conveyor belt ride of episode 37:
-->'''Freeman:''' "But why are there no doors here? Did I ''actually'' enter this room in the correct manner? Maybe the room itself is alive. Uhm… [reaches end of belt and is dropped into [[SoftWater water]] far below] ''[[OhCrap OH MY GOD I'M GONNA D]]''-"
* "I'm not a leper! I shouldn't have to stand for [[{{Squick}} meat dandruff!]]"
* "Augh... this is a pretty shitty water park! I'm never coming here again!"
* THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY! I HAVE A GUN SO I'M IN CHARGE! Many governments around the world function on this principle. And some of them last for months!

[[AC:Episode 38]]
* Freeman is nearly hypnotized again.
* Freeman seems to finally be coming off the rails for good:
-->'''Freeman:''' Oh what, this one's just full of tricks! It's tapping out fucking Morse on the conveyor belt! Crushers, conveyors, walking backwards... GIMME SOME MORE PRESSURE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH! BIOHAZARD! YES! THANK YOU! FALLING TO MY DEATH! TANKS OF ACID! SUPERB!"
* "OH GOD I'M OUT OF AMMO; WHOSE JOB IS IT TO RELOAD?! THEY'RE FIRED! WHAT? THERE'S NO AMMO LEFT!? YOU'RE FIRED TOO!"
* "Oh this is that door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION! RAAUUUGHH! ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actualy I was just kidding, I don't like that option.]]"

[[AC:Episode 39]]
* In a black humor sense, Freeman casually shooting a guard after he remembers that the military is trying to kill him[[hottip:*: and sadly not remembering that guards are safe]] before deciding that's he's simply going to kill everyone around him.



!!Examples In The Main Series
* TheAbridgedSeries / DungeonBypass: Thanks to the use of cheat codes, Gordon can "climb" over obstacles and skip some sections of the game. His guns also deal more damage.
** Gordon's ability to "climb" obstacles is possibly {{lampshaded}} in one of the episodes as he comments on how he can do a pull-up.
** And later subverted in episode 24, where he attempts to do this and fails due to a sloped edge. In fact, the whole Power Up arc is something of a subversion, since he spends more time wandering around and backtracking than he needed to.
** Gordon at one point nearly bypassed the rest of the game... only to realize that he was in the middle of the desert in a metal suit with no supplies. He promptly returned to the dungeon.
* AccentuateTheNegative: The first rant of episode 26 begins with Freeman acknowledging that he's doing this. He claims that to do otherwise would be absurd because he sees so little "positive."
-->'''Gordon:''' Wow, you sure did a great job falling down that elevator shaft!
* AccidentalHero: See TheFool
* AccidentalPun: Gordon asks "What's up with this ceiling?" not knowing he made an awful pun, then chastises himself over it.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: "My simian skill saw me safely" and "The ruptured, rusty rods reveal a rift!"
* TheAlcoholic: Upon finding an elevator finally leading to the surface and presumably to his escape, Freeman muses: "I am gonna get ''so'' drunk tonight. I mean, ''way'' more than usual." And he comes into work having had two shots of vodka for breakfast.
* AliensAreBastards: Gordon is quick to take this view, which isn't that unjustified, considering the circumstances. He even calls out the trope by name!
* AluminumChristmasTrees: In the first episode, Gordon recalls how a squirrel got caught in an electrical wire at M.I.T, and how it knocked out power to the whole campus once a transformer blew up. According to Ross Scott, this actually happened. In fact, squirrels killing themselves on power lines is common enough that it comes up in the news every now and then.
* AppliedPhlebotinum: In episode 0, when Gordon notices that nothing is projecting the {{Hologram}} that's talking to him, he says it "must be nano-emitters or something".
* AprilFoolsDay: Two episodes so far. Both of them feature a variant of the "Gordon head" title card, relevant to the episode's gimmick.
** 2009, Episode 10.5: Short non-canonical episode, at the end of which Gordon dies. Episode 11 begins at the same spot as this one, with Gordon having a strange feeling of deja vu, which he suspects comes from eating bad doritos. The title card features X marks in Gordon's glasses.
** 2010, Episode 27: Gordon spends the entire video talking (or thinking) [[TalkLikeAPirate like a pirate]]. Title card features Gordon's pirate version, complete with an eyepatch and a scar on his cheek. Episode 28 starts with Gordon deciding that the pirate accent is too hard to keep up.
* [[OohMeAccentsSlipping Argh, Me Accent Be Slippin'!]]: Episode 27
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Episode 38, on a conveyor belt, trying to go past what is practically a DeathCourse:
-->Red lights, walking backwards, GIVE ME SOME MORE PRESSURE, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH! '''YES! BIOHAZARD! PERFECT! THANK YOU!''' AAAHH, FALLING TO MY DEATH! TANK OF ACID, SUPERB! ''[annoyed]'' Sidestepping...
* ArtificialStupidity: Gordon is very quick to point out the marines stupid tactics, including bombing the area where their soldiers (and no one else) are, killing each other with grenades, running straight at him around a corner even though they just saw their friends getting shot running around the same corner, firing missiles in an underground tunnel, and shooting him in the body with their [=MP5=]'s, even though he repeatedly lampshades that it has little to no effect on his bullet proof suit. This is a very ironic meta joke, since Half Life was the first game to include complex and smart enemies, but they appear stupid in Freeman's Mind for two reasons: 1. They are pretty aged in terms of AI. 2. They were never designed to fight enemies with realistic damage values (in Freeman's Mind, it only takes 3 shots to kill a soldier rather than 10 as in the original HalfLife or 7 in source). He thinks that natural selection is making them smarter though, commenting on how a few actually throw grenades instead of suicidally charging forward, and how they set up powerful turrets which could probably breach his suit.
** Then the Marines hired ''TheThreeStooges'' for episode 30 and they starting blowing each other up with grenades.
* AxCrazy: Gordon, [[DrivenToMadness in later episodes]]. For example, in episode 15, he comments on how fun it was to shoot aliens, and in episode 24, he thinks about decapitating an injured security guard and using his intestines as rope, but decides against it because it would be too slippery (and [[{{Squick}} gross]]). As of episode 39, he's killed a Black Mesa security guard in cold blood, believing that the guard was out to get him.
-->'''Freeman:''' Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, everyone dies!
* BadassBeard: Freeman constantly rants about how awesome his beard is, and how no one else has any style and how [[YouAllLookFamiliar everyone looks the same]].
-->'''Freeman:''' Does my beard intimidate you?
** This of course bites him in the ass when he realizes it helps the ''HECU'' marines pick him out from the rest of the science team, and [[SarcasmMode totally not the hazard-orange, bulletproof safety suit...]]
* BadassBookworm: Gordon makes no bones about his education; he's a graduate of MIT, and among other things he tells a bunch of enemy soldiers that his diploma is more valuable then they are. He simultaneously mocks his fellow scientists for not being as fit as him.
-->'''Gordon:''' I'm a physics-crunching badass. I'm the complete package.
* BadassGrandpa: The scientist who jumps through a window in Episode 10 and keeps a shotgun in his desk, Freeman even remarks on his badassery. Somewhat ruined since the scientist is killed by zombies moments later.
* BerserkButton: He hates cockroaches. And locked doors. And dead ends. And Vortigaunts or soldiers interrupting his train of thought.
-->"''Okay children, Class is in session! Everyone take your seats! '''I said everyone take your seats!''' Dammit Billy, that means you too! '''Take your seats!'''''"
* BigElectricSwitch: One of the few design elements in Black Mesa of which Gordon wholeheartedly approves.
* BigOMG During episode 37, he gets one of these as he is dropped from a conveyor belt 10 meters up into a pool of water. To make matters worse, [[spoiler:he's still recovering from being knocked out, and as such, is drowsy]]
--> '''Gordon:''' OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DROWN!!
* BilingualBonus: In Episode 33, Gordon gets the impression that a scientist is Spanish.
-->'''Gordon:''' Quiero un poco de drogas. ¿Dónde están? Tengo dinero.
---->''I want some drugs, where are they? I have money.''
** In an earlier episode, he uses German.
--->'''Gordon:''' Zeigen Sie mir das Geld!
-----> ''Show me the money!''
* BondOneLiner: After killing the Ichthyosaur.
-->'''Gordon:''' Call me [[MobyDick Ishmael]], [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!
* BrickJoke / CallBack: In episode 4, Gordon recalls a time when he stayed awake for four days and thought his house was being invaded by frog people. In episode 28, during a rant on how he is ProperlyParanoid, he lists one of the reasons as being "There's no race of anthropomorphic frog people in the sewers Freeman! You're just being paranoid!"
** When Gordon gets his hazard suit, he mutes the suit's computer as it narrates activating all the various systems. In the first April Fool's episode, when Gordon falls to his death, the impact unmutes the suit computer.
* BunnyEarsLawyer: Despite his ramblings, Gordon's inner monologue does show that he knows a lot about science.
--> '''Random Scientist:''' Do you know who ate all the doughnuts?\\
'''Gordon:''' NO! Do you know if leptons are really compound particles?! Friggin' donuts...
** Early on, he mentions seeing one of the [[YouAllLookFamiliar (many)]] white-haired geezer physicists writing down the equation for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitational_force gravitational force]], mentioning how it's something you'd see in Physics 1 classes. Truth of the matter? ''It really is.'' Most physics teachers (college-level, at least) also have (much) longer equations ''completely memorized'' so having to write down such a short, basic equation ''at all'' is just plain sad for a [=PhD=]-grade physicist.
--> '''Gordon:''' Those monkeys in there are having trouble learning about gravity. Whereas I can recite the quantum chromodynamic gauge-invarient Lagrangian in my sleep!
** Not to mention he actually ''does'' start reciting a lecture about fermions as he comes to in the trash compactor.
* CaptainObvious: "You know, I'm starting to think this ''isn't'' a rescue operation..."
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Seeing the Anti-Mass spectrometer malfunction and blow up the room'']: No no, this is not good.
* CasanovaWannabe: By his own admission (though without any air of self awareness), a lot of dates he goes on end with him getting tasered. He also makes reference to repeatedly hitting on a girl named Heather and failing, and theorizes he probably ended up in a trash compactor since she threw him in there.
* CatchPhrase: "Hey! I have a doctor's degree!"
* TheChewToy: Gordon. Half the fun of the series is seeing how freaked out he will get the next time he sees a giant alien or another new obstacle courtesy of the HECU.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Gordon
-->'''Gordon:''' I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes ordering you to open!
* TheCuckoolanderWasRight: In the first episode, as Gordon gets off the train, he looks back down the tracks asking "Is someone following me?" While this, at first, comes across just as him being paranoid, if one considers the actual events of Half-Life, the G-Man ''is'' following Gordon. Throughout all of the events that have happened to him so far.
* ClusterFBomb: Expect Gordon to carpet bomb the area whenever he gets ambushed or almost dies.
* ComedicSociopath: Gordon keeps fantasizing about killing his coworkers. As well as scamming the company in various ways (and it's implied at one point that he's ''already been'' stealing from them).
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: When Gordon isn't being more GenreSavvy (and crazy) than everyone else, he's frequently this.
** "[[HeroicSociopath I'm on your side, you fucking idiots!]] [[TriggerHappy How many of you do I have to kill]] [[TooDumbToLive before you understand that?!]]"
** "This self-defense crap isn't cutting it because I never get to fire first!"
** "Look at all these dead scientists! This rescue mission's a disaster."
** "Those shots came dangerously close to my head. You guys could've killed me you know that?"
* ComputerEqualsTapeDrive: "Whoa, whoa, what's this? Are you kidding me? Are we using tape reel computers? Noooo! Wait ... are those slots for punched cards?"
** "I think they ''are'' punch card slots!"
* ContractualImmortality: Double-subverted with the April Fools episode 10.5, which ends with Gordon taking a flying leap at a ladder, only to fall down into a chasm and die. The episode fades out as the HEV suit voices phrases such as "Emergency! User death imminent!" The next episode picks up where the previous one began as though it never happened. Gordon [[LampshadeHanging remarks on a feeling of deja vu]] and assumes he has eaten some "bad nachos".
* CopyAndPasteEnvironments: The staircase that looks exactly like the one Gordon got shot by a turret gun in makes him freak out for a moment.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: Freeman decides that Black Mesa is surely run by one.
-->'''Gordon:''' I wonder if the CEO just rubs himself with money...
** Episode 34 has him concluding that the company is, in fact, run by a [[JamesBond Bond]] villain.
-->'''Gordon''': We've got missiles, tons of weapons, lasers, a shark tank, and now ninjas.
* CrazyPrepared: After realizing his bank accounts are probably frozen, Gordon mentions getting back to Massachusetts to find the 10,000 dollars in gold he has buried in Harold Park State Forest.
* CreatorBacklash: Sort of. Ross Scott prefers to work on ''CivilProtection'', but difficulty in coding caused him to concentrate more on the easier to make ''Freeman's Mind''.
* DeadpanSnarker: Gordon of course, the quote at the top of the page should say it all.
* DitzyGenius: Gordon ''is'' legitimately intelligent, knows much about theoretical physics, and speaks five languages. [[HeroicSociopath He just]] [[TheStoner has]] [[TheAlcoholic a lot]] [[CrazyPrepared of]] [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} weird]] [[ProperlyParanoid habits.]]
* DrivenToMadness: It's supposed to be funny, but in the beginning of episode 17, an exhausted Gordon becomes frustrated with the monsters for not answering his questions. Later in the episode, in an unconnected rant, he questions whether he's already insane and imagining it all, then goes on about the unimaginable psychological torment he's going to endure later in life. It's actually one of the series' smartest rants, and one of few that could actually be taken rather seriously.
** ''Gordon:'' (Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates) I ''HAVE'' TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! '''''[[SanitySlippage IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!!]]'''''
** ''Gordon:'' (Shooting at a group of soldiers) I AM ON YOUR SIDE GOD DAMMIT, ''HOW MANY MORE OF YOU DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU REALIZE THAT!?!?''
** In episode 24, he thinks about decapitating an injured security guard and using his intestines as rope, but later decides against it simply because he figured the intestines would be too slippery.
** Episode 18 has him concluding that he must have encountered a pixie. He's frighteningly serious. It's safe to assume he's snapped at this point. Although, when you consider what has happened that day, the existence of pixies wouldn't be completely out of the question.
** Episode 25, he's hearing voices of the damned.
--->(It's worth pointing out that the sounds he's hearing are ''actual'' cries of the damned. The zombie Horde warning cry from Left4Dead / Left4Dead2, to be specific.)
** And in 26, he genuinely can't remember if gnomes exist (but again, considering what he ''has'' run into so far...)
** And now in Episode 27, he's started talking (thinking?) like a pirate.
** In episode 29 he starts howling like a wolf for no reason when he sees the full moon outside.
--->'''Gordon: *clears throat*''' AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- wait, what the hell am I ''doing''?
** In episode 39, he decides that everyone in the world is out to kill him, and thus he should kill everyone in the world. While he's said things like this before, he finally substantiates it by killing a friendly security guard without a second thought and shooting marines on sight. [[JumpingOfftheSlipperySlope It may be all downhill from here.]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Gordon:''' "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, ''EVERYONE DIES!''"]]
*** To be fair to Gordon, he does have amnesia at this point. He's forgotten that the security guards are friendly. Although he's definitely in a "shoot first, don't bother to ask questions" mode of thinking. Gordon also rightfully points out that the soldier he just shot would have needed to pass by said guard, who obviously wasn't harassed.
* DyingLikeAnimals: Even Gordon gets his moments.
-->'''Gordon''': ''(staring down a chasm filled with water and contemplating whether or not to jump)'' So... let's assess: Cons, I could starve to death where no one could ever find me. Pros, this could be fun as hell... I'm gonna do it. ''(jumps)''
* EasyAmnesia: Gordon has amnesia from Episode 34 onwards after a few punches to the face. He writes it off as the result of getting drunk the night before.
* EldritchAbomination: One of Freeman's nicknames for the Bullsquids is "Cthulhu Dog."
** He also thinks the tentacle is a huge creature buried beneath black mesa, and that what he destroyed was only its hair strands. Its pretty safe to say he reasonably thinks all the aliens are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s.
* EmergencyStash: Mentioned in ep. 28.
* EverythingTryingToKillYou: "I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me?! I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!?"
* FanNickname: In-universe, although the "fan" part is up for debate. Gordon calls Headcrabs "[[{{Alien}} Face-huggers]]'', Vortigaunts "Zappers", and Bullsquids "Cthulhu dogs". Interestingly, he comes up with the "Face-hugger" name before he sees one actually jump on a scientist's head, just because it looks like one.
* FlatWhat: Gordon has one of these in episode 28. He finally comes across an elevator that goes up towards the surface, and gives a deadpan "what" when he finds out the [[YankTheDogsChain path out is blocked by explosive crates.]]
** It appears again later ([[ContinuitySnarl earlier?]]) during Episode Zero (The Hazard Course) when he figures out the training program wants him to jump off a narrow platform, over a dozen feet off the ground, onto a hard concrete floor. On purpose.
* FollowTheLeader: At this point, it seems every kid with FRAPS and [[GarrysMod Garry's Mod]] is making his own version of "''So-and-so's Mind''". Because they mostly rely on the same exact jokes as the original, with poor pacing and less attention to detail, they are generally not as good as the original, though YourMileageMayVary. However, there are some rather well done {{Spinoff}}s which include:
** "[[http://parkers-mind.blogspot.com/ Parker's Mind]]" by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/emperorpsymon Emperorpsymon]], "[[ResidentEvil Leon's]] Mind", "[[BioShock Jack's]] Mind", [[http://www.shephardsmind.half-lifecreations.com/ Shephard's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/KrimsinYT Krimsin]], [[http://barneysmind.blogspot.com/ Barney's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/IRAMightyPirate Ian Riley]], [[DeadSpace Issac]][[http://www.youtube.com/user/WolfGamerX Clarke's Mind]] , and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgncUYbzMA/ Chell's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/CyhAnide/ CyhAnide]].
*** And the spinoffs have spinoffs: [[http://felixsmind.blogspot.com/ Felix's Mind]] claims to be inspired by Barney's Mind.
* TheFool: In his blind efforts to get out, Gordon manages to clear his own path simply by wandering around. Most obvious example is in episode 19 when, when he returns to the rocket testing station after activating the electricity and fuel needed to start the rocket and kill the worm monster.
-->'''Gordon:''' Hey, the lights are on! [''Pushes button''] Hey, it's doing something! Did somebody fix this? ''(Rocket begins to start up)'' What did I just do?
-->[''shortly thereafter'']
-->'''Gordon:''' Awwright! [[LampshadeHanging I'm making a lot of progress for not knowing what the hell I'm doing!]]
* {{Foreshadowing}}: "I'm torn between wanting to kill every bug in this building, or just leveling it with explosives... I need a bomb."
** Freeman's plans to terrorize and plunder cruise ships with a giant sea turtle, and explicitly ending episode 26 with the comment "I shoulda' been a pirate." The results are mentioned above.
** Not to mention that he talks about buying a scientist zombie off of the G-Man in episode 12. Guess what later happens to him in-canon?
** "This is so unfair, [[LargeHam I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS!]] [[TemptingFate I'll show everyone...]].
*** In episodes 5 and 36, he actually calls himself "The Freeman".
**** [[FridgeBrilliance Of course, this might explain why the rebels call him 'The One Free Man' in Half-Life 2...]]
* FrickinLaserBeams: Gordon has frequent encounters with laser beams. Sometimes they're straight-up deadly, other times they activate something else that's deadly, like trip-mines and sentry turrets.
* FromACertainPointOfView: At one point Gordon considers taking one of the Xen aliens to a taxidermist, thinking he would tell them that he doesn't know what it is and that he'll just say he got while out hunting. Then he realizes that what he's doing is ''sort of'' like hunting, and that he ''really doesn't'' know what the aliens are.
* GeneralFailure / GeneralRipper: Freeman theorizes whoever is in charge of the Black Mesa cleanup is this.
-->We must hire over a thousand people, you can't hunt down every single-- ''(gets attacked by a zombie and kills it)'' and aliens. We've got aliens popping out of nowhere. What are they going to do? Shoot everyone in New Mexico?
* GenreSavvy: "Uh-oh, I'd better check my flank. That's how they got that dude in ''JurassicPark''."
* GrapplingHookPistol: Gordon wants one, badly.
* GratuitousGerman: "Zeigen Sie mir [[NaziGold das Geld]]!"
** There's also Gratuitous Haitian in episode 12 and Gratuitous Hindi in 28. Either Gordon is a prodigy with languages or he's making it up.
** Episode 33 gives us "[[GratuitousSpanish Quiero un poco de drogas, ¿donde están? Tengo dinero]]." -- ''"I want some drugs, where are they? I have money."'' So the 'prodigy' angle seems more and more likely.
* HandWave: Gordon usually doesn't take any real damage, because the creator is playing the game with godmode on, presumably. This is handwaved by the damage Freeman takes being written off as minor. Electricity hurts, but doesn't injure. Bullets bounce off the suit or [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy miss altogether]]. Large caliber rounds or explosives can kill him right through his suit, but he dodges them. Headcrab bites are scratches. Bullsquid spit stinks but doesn't hurt.
* HardOnSoftScience: Gordon has a dim view of Freudian psychology and relishes the prospect of disproving string theory.
* HarsherInHindsight: In-universe example. In Episode 32, Freeman theorizes that his boss may be trying to take over the world. In HalfLife 2, his boss actually ''does'' take over the world, and it's implied [[spoiler:that Freeman's boss used the whole incident to do this.]]
* HeroicSociopath: Freeman eventually begins to enjoy killing aliens and soldiers.
** Although he only really does it when he has to. He tries to negotiate with them at first (it doesn't work), and in episode 28 goes out of his way to avoid fighting a few soldiers.
** From Ross Scott himself in an interview with ''PC Gamer'':
-->'''Ross:''' In retrospect, I realized that the sheer number of people you have to kill in the Half-Life games suggests that some sort of paranoid psychopath might actually have a far better chance of survival than someone sensible.
** "Oh, look at this. Aliens that can't shoot back! I'm gonna take my time here."
* HopeSpot: Gordon ''finally'' finds an elevator that isn't broken and goes up instead of down. He starts dancing in glee. Then it reaches the top, and the exit is blocked by explosive crates.
** Gordon finds a set of ridged pipes he can climb out of the facility with. [[spoiler:Then remembers he is in New Mexico, surrounded by barren desert wastelands that he wouldn't survive.]]
* HypocriticalHumor: When Gordon encounters the soldier firing a rocket launcher, he rants about how stupid and dangerous it is to fire one inside an underground tunnel. Then after killing the soldier and approaching the rocket launcher, his first reaction is to try to use it himself.
* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: When he finally gets his hand on the shotgun he was looking for, Freeman accidentally ''almost'' shoots a scientist who holed up in the room where he found it.
* IncompetenceInc: Black Mesa appears to be this to Freeman. One of the signs implores employees, "Work Harder, Not Smarter."
-->'''Gordon:''' Yeah, that's us alright -- we stay the course with stupid.
* IndianBurialGround: Gordon speculates that Black Mesa may have been built on top of one.
* InkSuitActor: [[http://civil-protection.blogspot.com/2008/03/portrait.html Ross Scott looks surprisingly similar to Gordon.]]
* InnerMonologue: The whole point.
* InsufferableGenius: Gordon graduated from M.I.T., and we he won't hesitate to let everyone know it.
-->'''Gordon''': ''(firing at soldiers)'' MY DIPLOMA'S WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!
* InsurmountableWaistHeightFence: Gordon runs into several flavors of these every time he thinks he's found an exit out of Black Mesa, {{Lampshading}} the original game's {{Railroading}}. Gordon winds up giving his own rationalizations for why they're there in the first place. However, unlike in the original HalfLife, Gordon can actually do pull-ups over easy obstacles, which ends up saving him a lot of time.
-->'''Ross Scott''': ''(in an interview with Podcast 17)'' Well I mean if you were in that situation what are you going to do? You see a bunch of things hanging down their tongues that can eat you, with a bunch of turret guns and mines lined up along the way, and you hear a bunch of soldiers chattering on their radios. Do you go that way, or do you just do a pull-up over a 7 foot wall?
** Gordon is convinced that the Adamantium (Exit) Doors have one-way mirrors and bulletproof glass. And they're all locked.
** Gordon encounters the Frictionless Hill during his brief stint on the surface ("The sandstone just breaks off!"). He finds a ridged pipe to climb, though that becomes a HopeSpot of its own.
* {{Jerkass}}: Gordon.
* JustifiedTrope: Gordon himself provides the answers for Black Mesa's unstable structure when he realizes the monsters might be teleporting into the walls. He has some more when he realizes that the "Box Smashing Room" was probably built to pad out the facility's costs so they could get the same amount of grant money on the following year.
* KillItWithFire: With regards to taking down the tentacle monster:
-->"''Haha! If you can't take the heat, get out of the rocket propulsion test chamber! [''EvilLaugh''] Burn! Burn! '''Burn!''' Physics rules!''"
* KineticWeaponsAreJustBetter: Gordon has this opinion when confronted with the lightning spewing aliens.
* LackOfEmpathy: Freeman actually ''does'' feel bad about killing the soldiers at first, but later starts to just stop caring all together. They probably don't deserve any better.
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Having just killed several soldiers''] You know, its strange. I thought I would feel weird about killing all these people, but really, I don't. That's because they're all [[SociopathicSoldier pricks and deserve to die]]! I'll make a speech at their funerals if someone wants me to. I have no problem with going up to a grieving widow and telling her "I'm sorry for your loss... but your husband was a [[DumbMuscle ratfuck meathead who tried to kill me for no goddamned reason because he was too stupid to figure out what the word "civilian" means]]. [[MercyKill If I hadn't put him down]], he likely would have come home later and strangled you in your sleep. [[{{Fetish}} And not in the kinky way]] either. I know how you base wives are..."
* LampshadeHanging: Gordon is quick to point out the ridiculous architectural design of Black Mesa, including the lack of structural integrity of every catwalk he tries to cross, the chutes-and-ladders elevator shaft, and the infamous "Box Smashing Room".
-->'''Gordon:''' So where do these things go that we need this many crates? ...That doesn't go anywhere! That's a wall! That means we're just loading up these crates so we can drop them into this pit! That means there's NO DAMN POINT TO THIS WHOLE ROOM!
** Also, Episode 14: Gordon starts pointing out holes in the plot of the game, saying that a government-funded conspiracy would not only be expensive, but pointless against randomly-teleporting aliens.
** He's also noticed that his day seems to consist of [[DeathCourse escaping from one death trap only to fall into another one]].
** Episode 28 also hangs a lampshade on the [[YouAllLookFamiliar limited models]] for NPC scientists, when Gordon finds out they know his name.
--->'''Gordon:''' Dammit, my '''beard''' betrayed me! They found my ID because I'm the only fucking scientist in here with a beard! If I went with that stupid [[EinsteinHair Einstein hairdo]] they wouldn't have been able to pick me out from a lineup.
* LargeHam: Again, Gordon.
* MadeOfExplodium: "Why does everything keep exploding?! Did we wire this place to self-destruct?"
* MadeOfIndestructium: Gordon is not happy that the doors all have bullet-proof glass. He ''is'' happy that, in an inversion, the concrete barriers shatter like Styrofoam when the tram car rams into them, but he's very confused.
** He's likewise confused why blowing an entire pile of crates full of explosives does nothing to the walls but leave scorch marks. "THOSE WEREN'T FIRECRACKERS!"
* MadeOfIron: The series abandons the standard convention of health bars and medkits, presumably in the name of realism, but in its stead simply has Gordon not take any persistent damage aside from the hole in his ear that he needs to bandage up. The creator says this is because, in this version of the ''Half-Life'' universe, the suit is impervious to low-caliber rounds. Gordon has repeatedly expressed his amazement at the durability of the suit.
* MadScientist: Freeman wishes he could be one.
-->Working in an underground lab is pretty cool. It makes me feel like I'm an evil scientist. I've always wanted to be an evil scientist. [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha. BWAH HAHAHAHAH-]] wait, I better shut up. I don't want a repeat of [[NoodleIncident Monday.]]
* {{Manchild}}: It borders on PsychopathicManchild in later episodes due to his mental breakdown, but Ross Scott once described Freeman in an interview as:
-->'''Ross:''' He has shifting paranoia, egomania, mild schizophrenia, over-aggressiveness, petty motivations, and immaturity in general.
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: '''All. The. Time.'''
* MindScrew: The ladder in the elevator shaft in Episode 11.
-->"''Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator! How do you get to the ladder? You take the elevator that doesn't work! Who thought this one up?!?''"
* MookChivalry: The marines usually either avert this or play it straight, due to the schizophrenic AI of HalfLife. On one hand, they politely run around corners after they just saw their partners get shot doing the same thing, but on the other, they do things like throw grenades and aim for the head.
-->'''Gordon:''' Goddamit, those shots came dangerously close to my head... why can't you [[MookChivalry aim for my impenetrable body armor like everyone else!]]
* MoreDakka: "Is that an [[CoolGun MP5]]? It '''is'''! (EvilLaugh) Now I can solve up to 800 problems a minute!"
** And then the marines bring in the tripod guns and rocket launchers...
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: In episode 3 during the resonance cascade:
-->'''Gordon:''' [[ScienceIsBad This is a bad experiment!]] [[HumansAreBastards We are bad people!]] WHY DID WE USHER FORTH THE GREEN APOCALYPSE?!
* NiceJobBreakingItHero:
-->Jesus Christ I launched a missile... I'm not helping ''anything''.
* NoodleIncident: In episode 3, Gordon says that he should calm down to avoid a repeat of "Monday".
** And after shooting a Barnacle and watching its innards (or lunch) spill onto the floor, he says "This is like a repeat of when I worked in fast food that summer."
** And in episode 16, after turning on a fan that almost cuts his head off:
-->'''Gordon:''' I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself. You go around pushing enough buttons and heavy machinery, and you end up in trouble. At least there were no witnesses this time. I mean, this is ''nothing'' compared to woodshop back in high school. I almost got expelled over that.
** He states in episode 35 that he woke up in a trash compactor ''again''. One can only imagine the other times it happened.
** He also mentions an incident in Austria that he considers even worse than the current situation, where he woke up naked and had to make clothes out of garbage bags.
** It's a character trait and not an event, but his fear of [[TheMuppets Muppets]] is presented with the same casual tone and lack of elaboration as these.
** Then there's his "memory" of "last night" when he comes to in the trash compactor. Was it his dream, a false memory induced by the temporary memory loss, or something that really happened the night before the experiment?
* NoOSHACompliance: One of Gordon's many sources of ramblings.
* NoThemeTune: But it does have a pretty recognizable "Bump bump chu...bump bump chi...bump bump" noise that plays at the beginning.
** That noise is the opening to "Military Precision" from the ''HalfLife'' soundtrack, and is copied into every ''Mind'' clone. The part right after that can be heard in the closing credits of ''Barney's Mind'' (see under FollowTheLeader above).
* NothingCanStopUsNow: Gordon finally finds the elevator to Surface Access by the end of Episode 12. [[ItGotWorse It doesn't go well next episode...]]
* NotThatKindOfDoctor: "Oh hell. Is that guy dead? Dammit, I'm a doctor not a... normal doctor!"
* OhCrap: In episode 23, Freeman camps out behind a corner and waits for the soldiers to run around, because he had killed several soldiers like that already, and is confident that they'll continue to do so. One of them instead chucks a grenade. After running in terror, he comments that he is watching natural selection in action.
** Earlier than that, there was his reaction to the first HECU soldier he found:
--->'''Scientist:''' Rescued at last! Thank god you're here! [''Runs towards the soldier'']\\
'''Gordon:''' Alright the rescue team!\\
[''Soldier guns down the scientist'']\\
'''Gordon:''' Or ummm, what?
* {{Omniglot}}: Gordon apparently speaks five languages, English, Spanish, German, Hindi, and Haitian Creole. He says he's been to Haiti and India in the past, and he mentions Austria a few times (where German is spoken)--specifically Innsbruck, which matches with Freeman's ''canon'' background. No word yet on where he learned Spanish, though he ''does'' live in New Mexico....
* OneManArmy: Freeman, as usual. Though Deconstructed to a degree: Freeman is very vocal about the outcome of his body count, probably predicting it will result in extreme mental breakdown and the U.S. Government hunting him down even if he manages to escape. Also, while Freeman's high intellect, physical strength, and resourcefulness help him survive, he's clearly acknowledged several times that without his suit he'd most likely be dead. [[ArtificialStupidity His enemies']] [[UnfriendlyFire blunders]] also help.
** In episode 31, he has come to the conclusion that, since he has no prior military or firearms training, doesn't belong to any extremist groups, and is just a theoretical physicist, it would be extremely difficult for the military to really believe he's killed dozens of their numbers single-handedly, and thus he may not end up being the fall guy.
* OneSteveLimit: Averted, Freeman mentions having a cousin Jesse as well as another Jesse who likes to zap himself with a cattle prod for fun.
* OnlySaneMan: Freeman sees himself this way. Surprisingly, there is a lot of truth in his statements, as per the nature of ''Half-Life'', everyone is either completely retarded (he frequently lampshades the scientists' and marines' suicidal tendencies) or trying to kill him. Or both. At the beginning of episode 13, he even says "Everyone is crazy but me!" while reacting to the marines bombing the surface. This by no means makes him [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} that sane himself]]
* OwlBeDamned: In Episode 28 when Freeman's mocking those who called him paranoid, he says "Owls can't read your mind, Freeman!"
* PaintingTheFourthWall: See ContractualImmortality.
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: When faced with a keypad lock, Gordon successfully tries "1234" as a combination. He laments that this can be attributed not to his genius, but someone else's stupidity.
* ProperlyParanoid: He uses the CrazyPrepared example above to claim being this, but then starts listing off the ridiculous things he's paranoid of.
** After all the crap that has happened at Black Mesa who to say that there isn't frogmen in the sewers and owls that can read his mind? (Probably escaped Aperture Science experiments.)
* ProtagonistCenteredMorality:
-->'''Gordon:''' "Sooooo...guess I just started WorldWarThree. This has been a busy day. But in the end, there's only one thing that matters: ''I'' did not leave any fingerprints. ''I'' was wearing my suit."
* PunchClockVillain:
-->'''Gordon:''' [''After seeing a soldier gun down his co-worker''] You see, he's not even trying to plant a gun on him or hide the body. That's a bad sign. Like this is just another day at work for him.
* PunctuatedPounding: Just about every time he attacks something.
* RasputinianDeath: A subversion. In episode 15, Gordon starts pondering about how he's still alive with all the injuries he's suffered.
-->'''Gordon''': So far, I've been bitten, shot, bombed, electrocuted, almost drowned, almost fallen to my death, and strangled! Rasputin wasn't so lucky! Now here I am, exposing myself to radiation! [[SarcasmMode Why not? Let's add to the list! Maybe I could get burnt, stabbed and poisoned before the day's done.]]
** Incidentally, in later episodes, he [[TemptingFate gets bludgeoned, burned, poisoned, and almost crushed]]. Still not dead, obviously.
* RefugeInAudacity: Freeman thinks that there's no way that the military can convict him for the killing of dozens of marines simply because it wouldn't make sense.
-->'''Gordon''': "No military training, never fired a gun, acquitted for petty theft, not a member of any extremist organizations, has a PhD in theoretical physics. [[SarcasmMode Yeah, that sounds like our man]]."
* RuleOfFunny: Freeman slurs to an extreme degree whenever dizzy. Why? Because it's goddamn funny.
* RunningGag: Gordon repeatedly...
** ...commenting that he misses his suit helmet.
** ...killing barnacles and getting [[BloodIsTheNewBlack showered by gore]].
** ...channeling his inner monkey.
** ...wishing his suit had a grappling hook.
** ...realizing he's just gone through a DoorToBefore.
** ...contemplating hocking a loogie into various deep pits.
** ...trying to kill all of the cockroaches.
** ...getting frustrated by dead ends and trying to open them by hitting them with his crowbar (even the metal ones).
** ...checking whether someone is following him.
** ...ruminating that things are okay because he has a ''gun''. (Emphasis his.)
** ..."I should have been a _______"
* SanitySlippage
** "OH GOD I'M OUT OF AMMO!! WHOSE JOB IS IT TO RELOAD?! YOU'RE FIRED!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO AMMO LEFT?! YOU'RE FIRED TOO!!" Yep, he's talking to himself. It seems to calm him down a little.
* ScheduleSlip: After making a new video about once a month Scott didn't upload anything for the last four months of 2010[[hottip:*: Not entirely his fault since Machinima seems to take a while to put his videos up]].
** {{Subverted}} from May 7 to June 24 2011 Ross Scott made episodes 32-37 and the bonus episode 0 running a nearly weekly schedule, and Ross Scott has stated he hopes to prevent large droughts again, but unfortunately, the switch to Windows 7 and the time spent on setting everything up delayed ep.38 for almost two months.
--> '''''Progress Report''': Windows 7 is kicking my ass.''
* SchizoTech: In the Rocket Test Lab, Gordon is flabbergasted upon seeing a reel-to-reel memory storage device from the 70's. He's even more confused when he sees what looks like a punch card slot.
* ShakyCam: As the series is in first-person, Gordon's freaking out and spraying bullets everywhere during a firefight creates a similar effect. Justified, as a real physicist with no prior military training would probably do that too.
* ShoutOut: A lot of them. ''Film/DieHard'', ''StarWars'', ''{{Alien}}'', HPLovecraft, ''JurassicPark'', SpiderMan, SuperMarioBros... Gordon is a bit of a pop culture junkie.
** Players of ''Half-Life'' mods can notice clever references to mods.
** "[[IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I have no tail, and I must swing.]]"
** Episode 5 had Gordon saying that manslaughter [[SweeneyTodd sounds like a butcher in a evil meat shop who grinds up people for meat]].
** Episode 25 had [[{{Doom}} him wondering if the aliens were in fact demons.]]
** [[StarTrek "Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a... normal doctor!"]]
** "Bugs can crawl on walls. Maybe I should have been a bug. [[TheMetamorphosis Go team Kafka.]]"
** [[{{Airplane}} "Roger, Roger. What's your vector, Victor?"]]
** "YOU SHOT ME [[FightClub IN THE EAR]]!"
** "WHY ARE YOU BOMBING? THERE'S NO ONE HERE! WHY ARE THE SOLDIERS BOMBING EACH OTHER? [[UnReal IS THIS REAL?"]]
** "We're the ''big'' [[LittleShopOfHorrors shop of horrors."]]
** [[TheTimeMachine "Yeah, I'm a first generation Morlock!"]]
* ShutUpHannibal: In one episode, Freeman overhears two soldiers talking about how mad they are that Freeman killed all their friends (in self defense). Gordon responds with machine gun fire.
-->There, that's for trying to guilt trip me! Yeah, the BigBad Freeman. Of course! [[SarcasmMode You guys didn't start shit!]].
* SmallNameBigEgo: Gordon ''is'' actually pretty smart, physically fit, and overall competent, though he tends to [[UpToEleven inflate it to godlike levels.]]
-->'''Gordon''': ''(after killing a Gargantua)'' That's why the dinosaurs went extinct: ME!
* StealthPun: In episode 28, he complains about an attacker disrupting his "train of thought"... while he's on a rail car, thinking to himself.
** Every now and then he mentions "solving problems" (i.e., through violence)... and he is a physicist. [[DontExplainTheJoke A profession that involves lots of math.]]
* SteelEarDrums: Averted in episode 8.
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Sees a few Head Crabs in the vent''] Oh, you son of a bitch!\\
[''Fires several shots with his handgun, which are immediately accompanied by a high-pitched 'eeeeeee~' sound'']\\
'''Gordon:''' ''Auuuugh!'' My ''ears!'' That was not smart... firing a gun inside an air vent! I hope I'm not deaf!
* TheStoner: Gordon seems to have an unhealthy fixation with Oxycodone, though it only shows up twice so far in the series. In one of the first episodes, he presumably has a "stash" of it in his locker (which goes missing beforehand), and in Episode 17, he sees a sign reading "Oxy" and thinks it stands for Oxycodone before he realizes it's liquid oxygen for a test rocket. "I don't think you can get high off oxygen.[[hottip:*:You can't, in case you were wondering.]] He later climbs into a shark cage in the hope of procurring animal tranquilizers (and is disappointed upon finding out he can't get high off the type Black Mesa uses)
** Upon seeing a crawlspace in the ceiling in Episode 20, he remarks "You could store a lot of drugs in there!"
** Gordon's Oxycodone addiction becomes a cross-series BrickJoke when, in episode 18 of Shephard's Mind, Adrian stops to take some antidepressants [[spoiler:that he found in Gordon's Locker]], only to discover after that fact that he had in fact overdosed on stolen Oxycodone, and spends the next episode completely stoned on the stuff.
** As noted above in the BilingualBonus entry, Gordon straight-up offers to buy drugs from a passing scientist.
* StopHelpingMe:
-->'''Gordon:''' Uh oh, everything's working fine, better call in the military!
* StuffBlowingUp:
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates''] I ''have'' to blow everything up! ''[[SanitySlippage It's the only way to prove I'm not crazy!]]''
* StupidityIsTheOnlyOption: Lampshaded in episode 11, after leaping across an elevator shaft onto a ladder on the opposite wall.
-->'''Gordon:''' Oh my God! That was stupid. Why do I keep doing stupid things? Oh my God. I could've ''died!''
* SuperWindowJump: The BadassGrandpa scientist pulls this, and Gordon is suitably impressed. Too bad he dies not five seconds later.
* SuspiciousVideoGameGenerosity: "This is... suspiciously convenient. I haven't been used to things going my way for quite a while now."
** "What's with all these grenades everywhere?"
* TakeAThirdOption: Gordon brings this up when talking about the Uncertainty Principle (how measuring an electron's position changes its momentum, and vice versa). According to Gordon, there's only one correct answer--to get drunk and light things on fire.
* TakeMyHand: Gordon tells an elderly scientist to do this in an early episode after the Resonance Cascade. The scientist [[spoiler:falls soon after, letting Gordon spout a hilarious line.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Gordon:''' No, your ''other'' hand, you idiot!]]
* TakeOverTheWorld: Freeman wishes he could do this, and constantly fantasizes about what he'd do if he ruled it. He also has always wanted to build a robot army, and live in a giant metal spider fortress. He has no way of actually following through on it though, so it's pretty harmless.
* TalkLikeAPirate: Episode 27
* TastesLikeChicken: One of Freeman's rants is against those who claim everything they haven't tried tastes like chicken, and he emphatically states that the giant tentacle he just barbecued likely tastes ''nothing'' like chicken.
* TastesLikeFeet: He says the bullsquid's secretions "taste like dead caterpillars."
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: Gordon tries to kill a cockroach with his machine gun, and when it fails, he says that's why he needs a shotgun.
* ThisIsMySide: He declares one of the laser tripwires to be "the line" and tells the aliens to stay on their side of it. Apparently he played the trope straight in college.
* TookALevelInJerkass: Freeman gets noticeably more callous, uncaring, and cynical as the series goes on. Compare episode 4, where he tries to [[TakeMyHand save a scientist from falling]], to episode 10, where he says to a scientist "You're on your own, chump" and abandons him. He also talks about how slavery was a good idea and makes a back-up plan in case he accidentally shoots a civilian. There's a [[SanitySlippage couple]] [[RuleOfFunny reasons]] for this.
* TrackingDevice: In episode 33, Gordon is understandably upset when he learns his suit is full of these, which is how the HECU has been tracking him.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Doritos. Spends several episodes musing about them, and when he gets them in episodes 10-11, he thinks there's something wrong with them, despite having "enough preservatives...to mummify a small dog."
** In later episodes, he spends considerable time talking about pizza, and unusual ways of delivering it (via trams, amphibious deliveries to beaches, etc.). Unsurprisingly, this coincides with Freeman mentioning that he's pretty hungry.
* [[spoiler: TraumaInducedAmnesia: Gordon's "apprehension" at the end of episode 34 consisted of at least one blow to the head. In episode 35, he can't remember the events of the previous day or so, including the resonance cascade scenario. It's not until halfway through episode 37, after he faces a bullsquid, that he really starts to remember all of what had happened.]]
** But for some reason [[spoiler: he has false memories of it being caused by a Lovecraftian cult.]]
* TwoKeyedLock: Gordon comments on the unusual lack of this (among other security measures) at the launch site. Granted, it's not for a missile like he thought it was, but still.
* UnfriendlyFire: In episode 30, an officer blows up a pair of his troops with a grenade launcher. Freeman theorizes this is the reason.
-->'''Gordon''': I don't even think he was aiming for me, I was just the excuse!
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: Freeman, and all the other mind series protagonist, to an extent.
* ViolationOfCommonSense: He occasionally does this in order to progress, as in the game. Usually lampshaded, like when he speculates that the surprisingly-flimsy concrete barriers are actually just Styrofoam.
* ViolenceIsTheOnlyOption / ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer: Invoked by Freeman, who makes a few attempts at communication with the aliens and HECU and comes to this conclusion because, well, they still try to kill him.
* WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld: "This is almost getting to be like a chore. You know, wash the dishes, do the laundry, shoot the [[EldritchAbomination Snot Thing]], empty the trash..."
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: The usual reaction to finding a new button or switch he hasn't touched yet.
-->"''[[CatchPhrase Hey, what's this do?]]''"
* WhatTheHellHero: Gordon's reaction to the HECU soldiers trying to kill him.
-->"''This is the worst rescue operation in '''history!'''''"
* WhoWritesThisCrap: Gordon is less than enthused about the "fall three stories aiming for a red circle" part of training.
* WhyWontYouDie: Gordon ponders this about ''himself'', saying, "I've brushed with Death so often, I should start giving him high-fives as I pass."
* WouldHitAGirl: Freeman does so by necessity, gunning down the female black ops he mistakes for ninjas.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Occasionally; in Episode 26, Gordon wonders if there's any hidden NaziGold inside Black Mesa. Wrong FPS game, Gordon!
* YouMakeMeSic: Averted. Gordon doesn't even deem "Yore Dead Freemen" to be worth mocking.

!!Examples In The Spinoffs

* AdaptationExpansion: The last episode of Baney's mind involves Barney hijacking a plane and escaping Black Mesa which wasn't in Blue Shift. (It's filmed in MS Flight Simulator X.
* AmusingInjuries: In Shephard's Mind.
--> '''Shephard:''' [[ShotInTheAss "Aw, I have shrapnel in my ass now."]]
* ApologeticAttacker: Parker's Mind episode 6, when he shoots the technician who won't lower the submarine.
** More or less Shephard, when he attacks the Black Ops agents that he wishes to go on a date with.
* [[AllThereInTheManual All There In The Video Description]]: "Who's Felix?"
** "What game is Parker's Mind really in?"
** "Are you really a girl??"
* AprilFoolsDay: The author of Felix's Mind pulled off a very convincing April Fools prank, having everyone think he was giving up his series with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcpVbGdh9Lk this]] episode.
* ArtShift: The last half of the final episode of Barney's Mind are recorded in [[MicrosoftFlightSimulator Flight Simulator]].
** Parker's Mind in episode 4, where Parker traverses through Half-Life, Doom 1 and real life.
* ArtificialStupidity: In Parker's Mind, he is constantly raving about how stupid the Ultor guards are. This is somewhat subverted however, when he first fights the Mercenaries, who actually have proper combat training.
* AWizardDidIt: Shephard decides that this is surely the reason for everything that's going on.
* AxeCrazy: Chell is slowly becoming this. She takes great delight in burning up many a CompanionCube, [=GLaDOS'=] cameras, and even a Radio when the lyrics to the song freak her out.
* BeardOfEvil: Chell is convinced that her EvilTwin has one.
** Chell thinks GLADoS has this ''and'' eyeliner
* BelligerentSexualTension: Felix alternates between demonstrating attraction and clear disdain for "Joni" (Alyx). Particularly when she volunteers him potentially suicidal missions while she stands somewhere safe doing little, yet [[DudeWheresMyRespect is routinely given a share in the credit afterwards.]]
** From what he describes, Felix's relationship with Chell definitely appears to have been this.
* BerserkButton: ''Everyone'' mistakes Felix for being Gordon, much to his annoyance.
* BrickJoke: In the Barney's Mind/Shephard's Mind crossover episodes, Shephard finds a bottle of "antidepressants" in Gordon's locker, with the brick dropping in episode 18 when he finds out that it was actually oxycodone ''after'' he had already taken about four of them. Cue CrowningMomentOfFunny that lasts all through episode 19 and partly into episode 20.
** Remember when Gordon yelled "Sucker!" to the random guard banging on the door in the first episode of Freeman's Mind? The same joke gets shown again from Barney's point of view in the first episode of Barney's Mind, with Barney soundly thinking that he'll kill Gordon for that.
** When Shephard and Barney are talking (with Shephard in a locker and Barney pondering how to get him out), they come to the conclusion that the electrified toxic waste is "an ingredient in Red Bull or something". In Chell's Mind, Chell says "Red Bull, now with more electrified toxic waste! Red Bull, if gives you cancer!"
** Felix mentions Gordon Freeman's stash of gold.
* CallingYourAttacks: "[[{{Pokemon}} Barney uses crowbar! It's ''super effective''!]]"
* CelebrityParadox: Present in the spinoff Barney's Mind. While chattering away at attacking soldiers, he asks them if they play various video games, including Counterstrike. When you consider [[HalfLife what game]] that was modded from...
** Shephard does the same thing with ''TeamFortress2'' in one episode by doing his best impression of the Sniper.
* ColdSniper: Shephard wishes he could be one:
-->'''Shephard:''' [''Looking at the G-Man''] Man how badass would it be if I just shot that phone right out of his hand right now. He'd just freak out for a second, then look around for where the shot came, then he'd see me with my smoking rifle and my cold emotionless mask, I'd slowly raise my hand, point to my eyes then back to him, and in that moment, he'd know I was the wrong person to-- [''G-Man walks into a teleporter''] god damn it my monologue took too long!
* CompanionCube: Ironically, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device ([[ICallItVera She calls it ASHPoD]]) in Chell's Mind.
** Even more ironic as she actually takes wonderful sadistic delight in burning up the CompanionCube.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Pretty much a must for any mind series but Chell is especially note worthy.
* CrossOver: Barney and Shephard meet each other at one point. And at the end of the 5th episode of ''Chell's Mind'', Chell hears [[spoiler:Barney's voice]]. Krimsin, Ian and [=CyhAnide=] all mentioned collaborating and borrowing jokes from each other.
** Chell appears in episode 14 of Felix's Mind, just after he had been [[spoiler:mortally wounded by a sniper]].
* DidIJustSayThatOutLoud: Parker comments on a useless guard while searching for Gryphon. Said guard takes offense to the comment, causing Parker to invoke the trope.
* DivideByZero:
** Shephard thinks about this with one of the enemies.
---> '''Shephard:''' What if a barnacle tried to eat a barnacle? I think that's how black holes are formed.
** Before that, he fired a Displacer shot at the Anti-Mass Spectrometer thinking that it would "teleport a teleporter."
** Also, from ''Chell's Mind'':
---> '''Chell:''' What will happen if I shoot a blue portal into an orange one. Radiation? Black Holes? What do you get when you divide by zero again. Man I hate calculus.
* DoomMagnet: Shephard lampshades it in Episode 22: Nobody he meets seem to stay alive for much longer.
** Every friendly (the [[RedshirtArmy Red-suited people]]) Parker meets seems to die at some point or another.
* ExpositionFairy: Shephard has a conversation with a Black Ops agent in episode 24 who basically serves this role.
* EvilTwin: Chell thinks the voice in her head is one.
* {{Expy}}: Harrison is pretty much just Barney in AlienVsPredator. (Not that this is bad.)
* FlatWhat: Shephard lets out a string of these after releasing the snarks in episode 15.
* FluffyTamer: Shephard, who at this point has three [[LivingWeapon alien creatures that he uses as weapons]], who he's named [[FluffyTheTerrible Gil, Sparky, and Barney]].
* GenreSavvy: Chell becomes aware that [=GLaDOS=] is a malfunctioning evil AI who's constantly lying to her by the ''third room''.
* GratuitousJapanese: Chell will often break into Japanese phrases for no particular reason.
* HyperspaceArsenal: Lampshaded by Shephard:
-->'''Shephard:''' [''Shooting at a giant alien worm''] I'm carrying more ammo than should be physically feasible on one human being! I'll sit here and shoot at you all day if I have to.
** Also averted, as he refuses to pick up the heavier weaponry (the missile launcher and the heavy machine gun) because it would be too hard to carry.
* HypocriticalHumor: In episode 10 (part 1) of "Barney's Mind", Barney complains how stupid scientists are for getting locked in freight trains. A few seconds later, he enters a freight train and it closes and locks on him.
* ICallItVera: Chell calls her portal gun "[=ASHPoD=]," [[CompanionCube and talks to it as if it were a person]].
** Parker likes the Semi-Automatic rifles used by the Mercs so much he gives his own one a name.
* IFellForHours: Shephard's Mind plays this trope about as straight as possible in episodes 10 and 11.
** Chell falls ''several miles'' via Portal recursion and is utterly terrified.
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder: Gryphon: "Damnit Parker, I'm an executive, not a pilot!"
* IntoxicationEnsues: Actually, Shephard, those aren't antidepressants.
* ItsTheBestWhateverEver: Shephard finds the "best ladder ever" at the end of episode 18. Then at the end of episode 19, when he's high off oxycodone, he finds another ladder and happily proclaims "I was wrong before! '''This''' is the best ladder ever!"
* IveGotAnXAndImNotAfraidToUseIt: Shephard uses this line, sort of.
--> '''Shephard:''' I've got a half-melted chocolate bar and I'm not afraid to eat it! 'Cause it would be good...
* JerkAss: Again, a must for any mind series, but the protagonists of Ander's and Parker's mind really stand out.
** Of all of the Mind series, Shephard seems to be the most sociable one despite being a marine. He strikes a chord with Barney and treats other people reasonably friendly. On the flip side though, people around him [[DoomMagnet seem to die quite frequently]].
** Toward the end of Parker's Mind, he starts to feel a little more for the people around him (even when he went on a [[spoiler:RoaringRampageOfRevenge against the mercs after they shot Hendrix]]), but still lives up to this trope.
** Averted by Chell, who is more psychotic than a jerk. Then again, there isn't anyone to be a jerk to.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Barney and Shephard. The former starts off cold and detached, but eventually ends up growing fond of some scientists and helps rescue them. The latter is a marine, and is of course going to be combat oriented, but he genuinely cares for competent people, most notably Otis.
* KarmaHoudini: Felix is starting to believe that his misfortunes are the result of the Universe actively punishing him for previously acts of jerkassery he got away with.
* KilledMidSentence: Shephard is in the middle of a battle and asking one of his comrades about the operation
-->'''Shephard:''' Hey, is it true this whole thing is all a government cover up?\\
[''Spore grenade lands next the medic'']\\
'''Medic:''' Government cover ups are--\\
[''Spore grenade explodes and kills him'']\\
'''Shephard:''' [''To the aliens''] Oh fuck off! He was just about to explain everything!
* MoreDakka: From Shephard's Mind.
-->"''On the other hand, do I really need four guns? '''Hell yes I do it's an alien invasion!'''''"
* NoIndoorVoice: Shephard gets annoyed with one Marine in episode 21 for this.
--> '''Shephard:''' HI. HELLO THERE. DO YOU MAYBE HAVE AN ''INDOOR'' VOICE?
* OhCrap: In episode 21, Shephard turns on his night-vision only to find [[spoiler:an alien staring at him]].
* OneLiner: Most Mind series protagonists are pretty prone to this, but Shephard in particular seems to absolutely love these. There are ''at least'' seven or eight in episode 22 alone, with plenty more to be found in other episodes.
* OneManArmy: every main character, obviously. Well, except Chell. Special mention goes to Felix and his 1st season finale.
* PaintingTheFourthWall: [[DeadSpace Isaac Clarke]] (Isaac Clarke's Mind) seems to be at least partially [[MediumAwareness aware that he's in a video game]], often acknowledging "plot holes" as he comes across them, as well as being able to hear the background music. Also, Barney, in musing about the strangeness of his situation, says that it's almost as if someone's "recording [his] every move and thought for some strange tv series and posting the videos on a website."
* PresentCompanyExcluded: After being attacked by a shock roach: "Not today you jumping thunder****! No offense [[FluffyTheTerrible Sparky."]]
* PromotedFanboy: In-universe example. The core Mind series group, called the "Masterminds," originally started out with just Ian (Barney's Mind) and Krimsin (Shephard's Mind). All the Masterminds that came after are pretty much one of these.
* ProudToBeAGeek: Shephard seems to enjoy tabletop RolePlayingGames and orders around a squad of soldiers as if they were all playing ''WorldOfWarcraft'' together.
* PunctuatedPounding: Shepherd in Episode 24. With a shotgun.
--> '''Shepherd:''' Dammit! Stop! [''Bang''] Shooting! [''Bang''] Me! [''Bang'']
* TheQuietOne: Douchebag in Barney's Mind, up until the final episode.
* RunningGag: Chell is ''starving''.
** Parker hates Hendrix, and constantly comments on how ugly Capek is.
** Felix is often mistaken for Gordon.
** Barney hates bees. And stairs. Did he mention that he hates stairs?
* SanitySlippage: Chell is obviously starting to crack.
* SchizoTech: Parker is quite weirded out when he has to send out an encoded message, that is stored on a floppy disk, when they are several decades obsolete.
* ShoutOut: Shephard's Mind ep 23: "Diplomacy with aliens is hard. That {{Iji}} chick makes it look so simple!"
** Shephard's Mind Episode 20:
---> '''Shephard:''' Come to think of it, Mark Meer kinda sounds like me. '[[MassEffect I'm Corporal Shephard, and this is my least favorite tunnel in Black Mesa.]]'
** Shephard recalls a time he snuck into Aperture Science and messed with all the keyboards as a prank. This a reference to a small easter egg in ''{{Portal}}'' where all the keyboards have the letters in "Adrian Shephard" lit up.
** Barney's Mind Episode 14: After Barney rants about the Alien Grunts launching bees, he wants to know why they don't launch [[FindingNemo mollusks... or sea turtles]].
* StopHelpingMe: Parker's Mind, with Hendrix.
* TalkingToTheDead: Barney's Mind episode 4: "Hey dead guy, got anything useful on you?"
* ThoroughlyMistakenIdentity: The whole point of Felix's Mind; Felix is Gordon Freeman's twin brother that everyone else is constantly mistaking for Gordon.
* ThisIsSparta: Done in emulation of the [[ThreeHundred trope namer]] in Shephards mind episode 18 by smashing a window through kicking
** And played for laughs in spin-offs were theres a SPARTA remix of certain lines (Like [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mmqRqey3pQ Barneys mind 300 bees]] for example).
* UnexplainedAccent: The protagonist of Declan's Mind is supposed to be an American black ops agent, but he speaks with a Lithuanian accent. The series probably wouldn't be as funny otherwise.
** Even Chell is confused why [=ASHPoD=] is British.
* UnflinchingWalk: [[spoiler: Shephard]] shows a fantastic example of this, during [[spoiler: his fight with the lightning pigs]] in the finale.
[[spoiler: Shephard]]: This makes me ask myself, did teleporting to an alien planet make you completely Asiatic? To which I respond: "Yes, but watch this."
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: Quite common in all Mind spinoffs. Except perhaps Chell's Mind, where it's more obvious as to what the buttons do.
* WhatWouldXDo: In episode 3 of Parker's Mind, Parker is hesitant to climb a rickety ladder due to his fear of heights but realizes he can't stay at the bottom of the elevator shaft forever. He wonders what Jesus would do -- cut to a cartoon of Jesus telling Parker to stop being a wuss and climb the ladder.
* WouldHitAGirl: Shephard, of all people, in a pretty brutal way, with a healthy dose of [[HeroicSociopath Sociopathy]] to boot.
-->''Yup. I'm a saint''.
----

to:

!!Examples In The Main Series
* TheAbridgedSeries / DungeonBypass: Thanks to
!!The other Mind series.
We cannot forget about
the use of cheat codes, Gordon can "climb" over obstacles and skip some sections of the game. His guns also deal more damage.
other Minds:
* Chell's Mind:
** Gordon's ability to "climb" obstacles is possibly {{lampshaded}} in one of the episodes as he comments on how he can do Marry had a pull-up.
** And later subverted in episode 24, where he attempts to do this and fails due to a sloped edge. In fact, the whole Power Up arc is something of a subversion, since he spends more time wandering around and backtracking than he needed to.
** Gordon at one point nearly bypassed the rest of the game... only to realize that he was in the middle of the desert in a metal suit with no supplies. He promptly returned to the dungeon.
* AccentuateTheNegative: The first rant of episode 26 begins with Freeman acknowledging that he's doing this. He claims that to do otherwise would be absurd because he sees so
little "positive."
-->'''Gordon:''' Wow, you sure did a great job falling down that elevator shaft!
* AccidentalHero: See TheFool
* AccidentalPun: Gordon asks "What's up
lamb,/ her father shot it dead./ Now it goes to school with this ceiling?" not knowing he made an awful pun, then chastises himself over it.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: "My simian skill saw me safely" and "The ruptured, rusty rods reveal a rift!"
* TheAlcoholic: Upon finding an elevator finally leading to the surface and presumably to his escape, Freeman muses: "I am gonna get ''so'' drunk tonight. I mean, ''way'' more than usual." And he comes into work having had
her/ between two shots chunks of vodka for breakfast.
* AliensAreBastards: Gordon is quick to take this view, which isn't that unjustified, considering the circumstances. He even calls out the trope by name!
* AluminumChristmasTrees: In the first episode, Gordon recalls how a squirrel got caught in an electrical wire at M.I.T, and how it knocked out power to the whole campus once a transformer blew up. According to Ross Scott, this actually happened. In fact, squirrels killing themselves on power lines is common enough that it comes up in the news every now and then.
* AppliedPhlebotinum: In episode 0, when Gordon notices that nothing is projecting the {{Hologram}} that's talking to him, he says it "must be nano-emitters or something".
* AprilFoolsDay: Two episodes so far. Both of them feature a variant of the "Gordon head" title card, relevant to the episode's gimmick.
bread!
** 2009, Episode 10.5: Short non-canonical episode, at the end of which Gordon dies. Episode 11 begins at the same spot as this one, Red Bull — It gives you cancer!
** Also her losing battle
with Gordon having a strange feeling of deja vu, which he suspects comes from eating bad doritos. The title card features X marks in Gordon's glasses.
** 2010, Episode 27: Gordon spends the entire video talking (or thinking) [[TalkLikeAPirate like a pirate]]. Title card features Gordon's pirate version, complete with an eyepatch and a scar on his cheek. Episode 28 starts with Gordon deciding that the pirate accent is too hard to keep up.
* [[OohMeAccentsSlipping Argh, Me Accent Be Slippin'!]]: Episode 27
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Episode 38, on a conveyor belt, trying to go past what is practically a DeathCourse:
-->Red lights, walking backwards, GIVE ME SOME MORE PRESSURE, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH! '''YES! BIOHAZARD! PERFECT! THANK YOU!''' AAAHH, FALLING TO MY DEATH! TANK OF ACID, SUPERB! ''[annoyed]'' Sidestepping...
* ArtificialStupidity: Gordon is very quick to point out the marines stupid tactics, including bombing the area where their soldiers (and no one else) are, killing each other with grenades, running straight at him around a corner even though they just saw their friends getting shot running around the same corner, firing missiles in an underground tunnel, and shooting him in the body with their [=MP5=]'s, even though he repeatedly lampshades that it has little to no effect on his bullet proof suit. This is a very ironic meta joke, since Half Life was the first game to include complex and smart enemies, but they appear stupid in Freeman's Mind for two reasons: 1. They are pretty aged in terms of AI. 2. They were never designed to fight enemies with realistic damage values (in Freeman's Mind, it only takes 3 shots to kill a soldier rather than 10 as in the original HalfLife or 7 in source). He thinks that natural selection is making them smarter though, commenting on how a few actually throw grenades instead of suicidally charging forward, and how they set up powerful turrets which could probably breach his suit.
** Then the Marines hired ''TheThreeStooges'' for episode 30 and they starting blowing each other up with grenades.
* AxCrazy: Gordon, [[DrivenToMadness in later episodes]]. For example, in episode 15, he comments on how fun it was to shoot aliens, and in episode 24, he thinks about decapitating an injured security guard and using his intestines as rope, but decides against it because it would be too slippery (and [[{{Squick}} gross]]). As of episode 39, he's killed a Black Mesa security guard in cold blood, believing that the guard was out to get him.
-->'''Freeman:''' Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, everyone dies!
* BadassBeard: Freeman constantly rants about how awesome his beard is, and how no one else has any style and how [[YouAllLookFamiliar everyone looks the same]].
-->'''Freeman:''' Does my beard intimidate you?
** This of course bites him in the ass when he realizes it helps the ''HECU'' marines pick him out from the rest of the science team, and [[SarcasmMode totally not the hazard-orange, bulletproof safety suit...]]
* BadassBookworm: Gordon makes no bones about his education; he's a graduate of MIT, and among other things he tells a bunch of enemy soldiers that his diploma is more valuable then they are. He simultaneously mocks his fellow scientists for not being as fit as him.
-->'''Gordon:'''
her subconscious:
--->'''Chell''':
I'm a physics-crunching badass. I'm the complete package.
* BadassGrandpa: The scientist who jumps through a window in Episode 10 and keeps a shotgun in his desk, Freeman even remarks on his badassery. Somewhat ruined since the scientist is killed by zombies moments later.
* BerserkButton: He hates cockroaches. And locked doors. And dead ends. And Vortigaunts or soldiers interrupting his train of thought.
-->"''Okay children, Class is in session! Everyone take your seats! '''I said everyone take your seats!''' Dammit Billy, that means you too! '''Take your seats!'''''"
* BigElectricSwitch: One of the few design elements in Black Mesa of which Gordon wholeheartedly approves.
* BigOMG During episode 37, he gets one of these as he is dropped from a conveyor belt 10 meters up into a pool of water. To make matters worse, [[spoiler:he's still recovering from being knocked out, and as such, is drowsy]]
--> '''Gordon:''' OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DROWN!!
* BilingualBonus: In Episode 33, Gordon gets the impression that a scientist is Spanish.
-->'''Gordon:''' Quiero un poco de drogas. ¿Dónde están? Tengo dinero.
---->''I want some drugs, where are they? I have money.
''not'' crazy.
--->'''Chell's mind''': ''Yeesss yoouuu aaaarrreee...
''
** In an earlier episode, he uses German.
--->'''Gordon:''' Zeigen Sie mir das Geld!
-----> ''Show me the money!''
* BondOneLiner: After killing the Ichthyosaur.
-->'''Gordon:''' Call me [[MobyDick Ishmael]], [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!
* BrickJoke / CallBack: In episode 4, Gordon recalls a time when he stayed awake for four days and thought his house was being invaded by frog people. In episode 28, during a rant on how he is ProperlyParanoid, he lists one of the reasons as being "There's no race of anthropomorphic frog people in the sewers Freeman! You're just being paranoid!"
** When Gordon gets his hazard suit, he mutes the suit's computer as it narrates activating all the various systems. In the first April Fool's episode, when Gordon falls to his death, the impact unmutes the suit computer.
* BunnyEarsLawyer: Despite his ramblings, Gordon's inner monologue does show that he knows a lot about science.
--> '''Random Scientist:''' Do you know who ate all the doughnuts?\\
'''Gordon:''' NO! Do you know if leptons are really compound particles?! Friggin' donuts...
** Early on, he mentions seeing one of the [[YouAllLookFamiliar (many)]] white-haired geezer physicists writing down the equation for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitational_force gravitational force]], mentioning how it's something you'd see in Physics 1 classes. Truth of the matter? ''It really is.'' Most physics teachers (college-level, at least) also have (much) longer equations ''completely memorized'' so having to write down such a short, basic equation ''at all'' is just plain sad for a [=PhD=]-grade physicist.
--> '''Gordon:''' Those monkeys in there are having trouble learning about gravity. Whereas I can recite the quantum chromodynamic gauge-invarient Lagrangian in my sleep!
** Not to mention he actually ''does'' start reciting a lecture about fermions as he comes to in the trash compactor.
* CaptainObvious: "You know, I'm starting to think this ''isn't'' a rescue operation..."
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Seeing the Anti-Mass spectrometer malfunction and blow up the room'']: No no, this is not good.
* CasanovaWannabe: By his own admission (though without any air of self awareness), a lot of dates he goes on end with him getting tasered. He also makes reference to repeatedly hitting on a girl named Heather and failing, and theorizes he probably ended up in a trash compactor since she threw him in there.
* CatchPhrase: "Hey! I have a doctor's degree!"
* TheChewToy: Gordon. Half the fun of the series is seeing how freaked out he will get the next time he sees a giant alien or another new obstacle courtesy of the HECU.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Gordon
-->'''Gordon:''' I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes ordering you to open!
* TheCuckoolanderWasRight: In the first episode, as Gordon gets off the train, he looks back down the tracks asking "Is someone following me?" While this, at first, comes across just as him being paranoid, if one considers the actual events of Half-Life, the G-Man ''is'' following Gordon. Throughout all of the events that have happened to him so far.
* ClusterFBomb: Expect Gordon to carpet bomb the area whenever he gets ambushed or almost dies.
* ComedicSociopath: Gordon keeps fantasizing about killing his coworkers. As well as scamming the company in various ways (and it's implied at one point that he's ''already been'' stealing from them).
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: When Gordon isn't being more GenreSavvy (and crazy) than everyone else, he's frequently this.
** "[[HeroicSociopath I'm on your side, you fucking idiots!]] [[TriggerHappy How many of you do I have to kill]] [[TooDumbToLive before you understand that?!]]"
** "This self-defense crap isn't cutting it because I never get to fire first!"
** "Look at all these dead scientists! This rescue mission's a disaster."
** "Those shots came dangerously close to my head. You guys could've killed me you know that?"
* ComputerEqualsTapeDrive: "Whoa, whoa, what's this? Are you kidding me? Are we using tape reel computers? Noooo! Wait ... are those slots for punched cards?"
** "I think they ''are'' punch card slots!"
* ContractualImmortality: Double-subverted with the April Fools episode 10.5, which ends with Gordon taking a flying leap at a ladder, only to fall down into a chasm and die. The episode fades out as the HEV suit voices phrases such as "Emergency! User death imminent!" The next episode picks up where the previous one began as though it never happened. Gordon [[LampshadeHanging remarks on a feeling of deja vu]] and assumes he has eaten some "bad nachos".
* CopyAndPasteEnvironments: The staircase that looks exactly like the one Gordon got shot by a turret gun in makes him freak out for a moment.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: Freeman decides that Black Mesa is surely run by one.
-->'''Gordon:''' I wonder if the CEO just rubs himself with money...
** Episode 34 has him concluding that the company is, in fact, run by a [[JamesBond Bond]] villain.
-->'''Gordon''': We've got missiles, tons of weapons, lasers, a shark tank, and now ninjas.
* CrazyPrepared: After realizing his bank accounts are probably frozen, Gordon mentions getting back to Massachusetts to find the 10,000 dollars in gold he has buried in Harold Park State Forest.
* CreatorBacklash: Sort of. Ross Scott prefers to work on ''CivilProtection'', but difficulty in coding caused him to concentrate more on the easier to make ''Freeman's Mind''.
* DeadpanSnarker: Gordon of course, the quote at the top of the page should say it all.
* DitzyGenius: Gordon ''is'' legitimately intelligent, knows much about theoretical physics, and speaks five languages. [[HeroicSociopath He just]] [[TheStoner has]] [[TheAlcoholic a lot]] [[CrazyPrepared of]] [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} weird]] [[ProperlyParanoid habits.]]
* DrivenToMadness: It's supposed to be funny, but in the beginning of episode 17, an exhausted Gordon becomes frustrated with the monsters for not answering his questions. Later in the episode, in an unconnected rant, he questions whether he's already insane and imagining it all, then goes on about the unimaginable psychological torment he's going to endure later in life. It's actually one of the series' smartest rants, and one of few that could actually be taken rather seriously.
** ''Gordon:'' (Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates) I ''HAVE'' TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! '''''[[SanitySlippage IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!!]]'''''
** ''Gordon:'' (Shooting at a group of soldiers) I AM ON YOUR SIDE GOD DAMMIT, ''HOW MANY MORE OF YOU DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU REALIZE THAT!?!?''
** In episode 24, he thinks about decapitating an injured security guard and using his intestines as rope, but later decides against it simply because he figured the intestines would be too slippery.
** Episode 18 has him concluding that he must have encountered a pixie. He's frighteningly serious. It's safe to assume he's snapped at this point. Although, when you consider what has happened that day, the existence of pixies wouldn't be completely out of the question.
** Episode 25, he's hearing voices of the damned.
--->(It's worth pointing out that the sounds he's hearing are ''actual'' cries of the damned. The zombie Horde warning cry from Left4Dead / Left4Dead2, to be specific.)
** And in 26, he genuinely can't remember if gnomes exist (but again, considering what he ''has'' run into so far...)
** And now in Episode 27, he's started talking (thinking?) like a pirate.
** In episode 29 he starts howling like a wolf for no reason when he sees the full moon outside.
--->'''Gordon: *clears throat*''' AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- wait, what the hell am I ''doing''?
** In episode 39, he decides that everyone in the world is out to kill him, and thus he should kill everyone in the world. While he's said things like this before, he finally substantiates it by killing a friendly security guard without a second thought and shooting marines on sight. [[JumpingOfftheSlipperySlope It may be all downhill from here.]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Gordon:''' "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, ''EVERYONE DIES!''"]]
*** To be fair to Gordon, he does have amnesia at this point. He's forgotten that the security guards are friendly. Although he's definitely in a "shoot first, don't bother to ask questions" mode of thinking. Gordon also rightfully points out that the soldier he just shot would have needed to pass by said guard, who obviously wasn't harassed.
* DyingLikeAnimals: Even Gordon gets his moments.
-->'''Gordon''': ''(staring down a chasm filled with water and contemplating whether or not to jump)'' So... let's assess: Cons, I could starve to death where no one could ever find me. Pros, this could be fun as hell... I'm gonna do it. ''(jumps)''
* EasyAmnesia: Gordon has amnesia from Episode 34 onwards after a few punches to the face. He writes it off as the result of getting drunk the night before.
* EldritchAbomination: One of Freeman's nicknames for the Bullsquids is "Cthulhu Dog."
** He also thinks the tentacle is a huge creature buried beneath black mesa, and that what he destroyed was only its hair strands. Its pretty safe to say he reasonably thinks all the aliens are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s.
* EmergencyStash: Mentioned in ep. 28.
* EverythingTryingToKillYou: "I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me?! I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!?"
* FanNickname: In-universe, although the "fan" part is up for debate. Gordon calls Headcrabs "[[{{Alien}} Face-huggers]]'', Vortigaunts "Zappers", and Bullsquids "Cthulhu dogs". Interestingly, he comes up with the "Face-hugger" name before he sees one actually jump on a scientist's head, just because it looks like one.
* FlatWhat: Gordon has one of these in episode 28. He finally comes across an elevator that goes up towards the surface, and gives a deadpan "what" when he finds out the [[YankTheDogsChain path out is blocked by explosive crates.]]
** It appears again later ([[ContinuitySnarl earlier?]]) during Episode Zero (The Hazard Course) when he figures out the training program wants him to jump off a narrow platform, over a dozen feet off the ground, onto a hard concrete floor. On purpose.
* FollowTheLeader: At this point, it seems every kid with FRAPS and [[GarrysMod Garry's Mod]] is making his own version of "''So-and-so's Mind''". Because they mostly rely on the same exact jokes as the original, with poor pacing and less attention to detail, they are generally not as good as the original, though YourMileageMayVary. However, there are some rather well done {{Spinoff}}s which include:
** "[[http://parkers-mind.blogspot.com/ Parker's Mind]]" by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/emperorpsymon Emperorpsymon]], "[[ResidentEvil Leon's]] Mind", "[[BioShock Jack's]] Mind", [[http://www.shephardsmind.half-lifecreations.com/ Shephard's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/KrimsinYT Krimsin]], [[http://barneysmind.blogspot.com/ Barney's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/IRAMightyPirate Ian Riley]], [[DeadSpace Issac]][[http://www.youtube.com/user/WolfGamerX Clarke's Mind]] , and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgncUYbzMA/
Chell's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/CyhAnide/ CyhAnide]].
*** And the spinoffs have spinoffs: [[http://felixsmind.blogspot.com/ Felix's Mind]] claims to be inspired by Barney's Mind.
* TheFool: In his blind efforts to get out, Gordon manages to clear his own path simply by wandering around. Most obvious example is in episode 19 when, when he returns to the rocket testing station
rant after activating the electricity and fuel needed to start the rocket and kill the worm monster.
-->'''Gordon:''' Hey, the lights are on! [''Pushes button''] Hey, it's doing something! Did somebody fix this? ''(Rocket begins to start up)'' What did I just do?
-->[''shortly thereafter'']
-->'''Gordon:''' Awwright! [[LampshadeHanging I'm making a lot of progress for not knowing what the hell I'm doing!]]
* {{Foreshadowing}}: "I'm torn between wanting to kill every bug in this building, or just leveling it with explosives... I need a bomb."
** Freeman's plans to terrorize and plunder cruise ships with a giant sea turtle, and explicitly ending episode 26 with the comment "I shoulda' been a pirate." The results are mentioned above.
** Not to mention that he talks about buying a scientist zombie off of the G-Man in episode 12. Guess what later happens to him in-canon?
** "This is so unfair, [[LargeHam I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS!]] [[TemptingFate I'll show everyone...]].
*** In episodes 5 and 36, he actually calls himself "The Freeman".
**** [[FridgeBrilliance Of course, this might explain why the rebels call him 'The One Free Man' in Half-Life 2...]]
* FrickinLaserBeams: Gordon has frequent encounters with laser beams. Sometimes they're straight-up deadly, other times they activate something else that's deadly, like trip-mines and sentry turrets.
* FromACertainPointOfView: At one point Gordon considers taking one of the Xen aliens to a taxidermist, thinking he would tell them that he doesn't know what it is and that he'll just say he got while out hunting. Then he realizes that what he's doing is ''sort of'' like hunting, and that he ''really doesn't'' know what the aliens are.
* GeneralFailure / GeneralRipper: Freeman theorizes whoever is in charge of the Black Mesa cleanup is this.
-->We must hire over a thousand people, you can't hunt down every single-- ''(gets attacked by a zombie and kills it)'' and aliens. We've got aliens popping out of nowhere. What are they going to do? Shoot everyone in New Mexico?
* GenreSavvy: "Uh-oh, I'd better check my flank. That's how they got that dude in ''JurassicPark''."
* GrapplingHookPistol: Gordon wants one, badly.
* GratuitousGerman: "Zeigen Sie mir [[NaziGold das Geld]]!"
** There's also Gratuitous Haitian in episode 12 and Gratuitous Hindi in 28. Either Gordon is a prodigy with languages or he's making it up.
** Episode 33 gives us "[[GratuitousSpanish Quiero un poco de drogas, ¿donde están? Tengo dinero]]." -- ''"I want some drugs, where are they? I have money."'' So the 'prodigy' angle seems more and more likely.
* HandWave: Gordon usually doesn't take any real damage, because the creator is playing the game with godmode on, presumably. This is handwaved by the damage Freeman takes being written off as minor. Electricity hurts, but doesn't injure. Bullets bounce off the suit or [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy miss altogether]]. Large caliber rounds or explosives can kill him right through his suit, but he dodges them. Headcrab bites are scratches. Bullsquid spit stinks but doesn't hurt.
* HardOnSoftScience: Gordon has a dim view of Freudian psychology and relishes the prospect of disproving string theory.
* HarsherInHindsight: In-universe example. In Episode 32, Freeman theorizes that his boss may be trying to take over the world. In HalfLife 2, his boss actually ''does'' take over the world, and it's implied [[spoiler:that Freeman's boss used the whole incident to do this.]]
* HeroicSociopath: Freeman eventually begins to enjoy killing aliens and soldiers.
** Although he only really does it when he has to. He tries to negotiate with them at first (it doesn't work), and in episode 28 goes out of his way to avoid fighting a few soldiers.
** From Ross Scott himself in an interview with ''PC Gamer'':
-->'''Ross:''' In retrospect, I realized that the sheer number of people you have to kill in the Half-Life games suggests that some sort of paranoid psychopath might actually have a far better chance of survival than someone sensible.
** "Oh, look at this. Aliens that can't shoot back! I'm gonna take my time here."
* HopeSpot: Gordon ''finally'' finds an elevator that isn't broken and goes up instead of down. He starts dancing in glee. Then it reaches the top, and the exit is blocked by explosive crates.
** Gordon finds a set of ridged pipes he can climb out of the facility with. [[spoiler:Then remembers he is in New Mexico, surrounded by barren desert wastelands that he wouldn't survive.]]
* HypocriticalHumor: When Gordon encounters the soldier firing a rocket launcher, he rants about how stupid and dangerous it is to fire one inside an underground tunnel. Then after killing the soldier and approaching the rocket launcher, his first reaction is to try to use it himself.
* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: When he finally gets his hand on the shotgun he was looking for, Freeman accidentally ''almost'' shoots a scientist who holed up in the room where he found it.
* IncompetenceInc: Black Mesa appears to be this to Freeman. One of the signs implores employees, "Work Harder, Not Smarter."
-->'''Gordon:''' Yeah, that's us alright -- we stay the course with stupid.
* IndianBurialGround: Gordon speculates that Black Mesa may have been built on top of one.
* InkSuitActor: [[http://civil-protection.blogspot.com/2008/03/portrait.html Ross Scott looks surprisingly similar to Gordon.]]
* InnerMonologue: The whole point.
* InsufferableGenius: Gordon graduated from M.I.T., and we he won't hesitate to let everyone know it.
-->'''Gordon''': ''(firing at soldiers)'' MY DIPLOMA'S WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!
* InsurmountableWaistHeightFence: Gordon runs into several flavors of these every time he thinks he's found an exit out of Black Mesa, {{Lampshading}} the original game's {{Railroading}}. Gordon winds up giving his own rationalizations for why they're there in the first place. However, unlike in the original HalfLife, Gordon can actually do pull-ups over easy obstacles, which ends up saving him a lot of time.
-->'''Ross Scott''': ''(in an interview with Podcast 17)'' Well I mean if you were in that situation what are you going to do? You see a bunch of things hanging down their tongues that can eat you, with a bunch of turret guns and mines lined up along the way, and you hear a bunch of soldiers chattering on their radios. Do you go that way, or do you just do a pull-up over a 7 foot wall?
** Gordon is convinced that the Adamantium (Exit) Doors have one-way mirrors and bulletproof glass. And they're all locked.
** Gordon encounters the Frictionless Hill during his brief stint on the surface ("The sandstone just breaks off!"). He finds a ridged pipe to climb, though that becomes a HopeSpot of its own.
* {{Jerkass}}: Gordon.
* JustifiedTrope: Gordon himself provides the answers for Black Mesa's unstable structure when he realizes the monsters might be teleporting into the walls. He has some more when he realizes that the "Box Smashing Room" was probably built to pad out the facility's costs so they could get the same amount of grant money on the following year.
* KillItWithFire: With regards to taking down the tentacle monster:
-->"''Haha! If you can't take the heat, get out of the rocket propulsion test chamber! [''EvilLaugh''] Burn! Burn! '''Burn!''' Physics rules!''"
* KineticWeaponsAreJustBetter: Gordon has this opinion when confronted with the lightning spewing aliens.
* LackOfEmpathy: Freeman actually ''does'' feel bad about killing the soldiers at first, but later starts to just stop caring all together. They probably don't deserve any better.
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Having just killed several soldiers''] You know, its strange. I thought I would feel weird about killing all these people, but really, I don't. That's because they're all [[SociopathicSoldier pricks and deserve to die]]! I'll make a speech at their funerals if someone wants me to. I have no problem with going up to a grieving widow and telling her "I'm sorry for your loss... but your husband was a [[DumbMuscle ratfuck meathead who tried to kill me for no goddamned reason because he was too stupid to figure out what the word "civilian" means]]. [[MercyKill If I hadn't put him down]], he likely would have come home later and strangled you in your sleep. [[{{Fetish}} And not in the kinky way]] either. I know how you base wives are..."
* LampshadeHanging: Gordon is quick to point out the ridiculous architectural design of Black Mesa, including the lack of structural integrity of every catwalk he tries to cross, the chutes-and-ladders elevator shaft, and the infamous "Box Smashing Room".
-->'''Gordon:''' So where do these things go that we need this many crates? ...That doesn't go anywhere! That's a wall! That means we're just loading up these crates so we can drop them into this pit! That means there's NO DAMN POINT TO THIS WHOLE ROOM!
** Also, Episode 14: Gordon starts pointing out holes in the plot of the game, saying that a government-funded conspiracy would not only be expensive, but pointless against randomly-teleporting aliens.
** He's also noticed that his day seems to consist of [[DeathCourse escaping from one death trap only to fall into another one]].
** Episode 28 also hangs a lampshade on the [[YouAllLookFamiliar limited models]] for NPC scientists, when Gordon finds out they know his name.
--->'''Gordon:''' Dammit, my '''beard''' betrayed me! They found my ID because I'm the only fucking scientist in here with a beard! If I went with that stupid [[EinsteinHair Einstein hairdo]] they wouldn't have been able to pick me out from a lineup.
* LargeHam: Again, Gordon.
* MadeOfExplodium: "Why does everything keep exploding?! Did we wire this place to self-destruct?"
* MadeOfIndestructium: Gordon is not happy that the doors all have bullet-proof glass. He ''is'' happy that, in an inversion, the concrete barriers shatter like Styrofoam when the tram car rams into them, but he's very confused.
** He's likewise confused why blowing an entire pile of crates full of explosives does nothing to the walls but leave scorch marks. "THOSE WEREN'T FIRECRACKERS!"
* MadeOfIron: The series abandons the standard convention of health bars and medkits, presumably in the name of realism, but in its stead simply has Gordon not take any persistent damage aside from the hole in his ear that he needs to bandage up. The creator says this is because, in this version of the ''Half-Life'' universe, the suit is impervious to low-caliber rounds. Gordon has repeatedly expressed his amazement at the durability of the suit.
* MadScientist: Freeman wishes he could be one.
-->Working in an underground lab is pretty cool. It makes me feel like I'm an evil scientist. I've always wanted to be an evil scientist. [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha. BWAH HAHAHAHAH-]] wait, I better shut up. I don't want a repeat of [[NoodleIncident Monday.]]
* {{Manchild}}: It borders on PsychopathicManchild in later episodes due to his mental breakdown, but Ross Scott once described Freeman in an interview as:
-->'''Ross:''' He has shifting paranoia, egomania, mild schizophrenia, over-aggressiveness, petty motivations, and immaturity in general.
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: '''All. The. Time.'''
* MindScrew: The ladder in the elevator shaft in Episode 11.
-->"''Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator! How do you get to the ladder? You take the elevator that doesn't work! Who thought this one up?!?''"
* MookChivalry: The marines usually either avert this or play it straight, due to the schizophrenic AI of HalfLife. On one hand, they politely run around corners after they just saw their partners get shot doing the same thing, but on the other, they do things like throw grenades and aim for the head.
-->'''Gordon:''' Goddamit, those shots came dangerously close to my head... why can't you [[MookChivalry aim for my impenetrable body armor like everyone else!]]
* MoreDakka: "Is that an [[CoolGun MP5]]? It '''is'''! (EvilLaugh) Now I can solve up to 800 problems a minute!"
** And then the marines bring in the tripod guns and rocket launchers...
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: In episode 3 during the resonance cascade:
-->'''Gordon:''' [[ScienceIsBad This is a bad experiment!]] [[HumansAreBastards We are bad people!]] WHY DID WE USHER FORTH THE GREEN APOCALYPSE?!
* NiceJobBreakingItHero:
-->Jesus Christ I launched a missile... I'm not helping ''anything''.
* NoodleIncident: In episode 3, Gordon says that he should calm down to avoid a repeat of "Monday".
** And after shooting a Barnacle and watching its innards (or lunch) spill onto the floor, he says "This is like a repeat of when I worked in fast food that summer."
** And in episode 16, after turning on a fan that almost cuts his head off:
-->'''Gordon:''' I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself. You go around pushing enough buttons and heavy machinery, and you end up in trouble. At least there were no witnesses this time. I mean, this is ''nothing'' compared to woodshop back in high school. I almost got expelled over that.
** He states in episode 35 that he woke up in a trash compactor ''again''. One can only imagine the other times it happened.
** He also mentions an incident in Austria that he considers even worse than the current situation, where he woke up naked and had to make clothes out of garbage bags.
** It's a character trait and not an event, but his fear of [[TheMuppets Muppets]] is presented with the same casual tone and lack of elaboration as these.
** Then there's his "memory" of "last night" when he comes to in the trash compactor. Was it his dream, a false memory induced by the temporary memory loss, or something that really happened the night before the experiment?
* NoOSHACompliance: One of Gordon's many sources of ramblings.
* NoThemeTune: But it does have a pretty recognizable "Bump bump chu...bump bump chi...bump bump" noise that plays at the beginning.
** That noise is the opening to "Military Precision" from the ''HalfLife'' soundtrack, and is copied into every ''Mind'' clone. The part right after that can be heard in the closing credits of ''Barney's Mind'' (see under FollowTheLeader above).
* NothingCanStopUsNow: Gordon finally finds the elevator to Surface Access by the end of Episode 12. [[ItGotWorse It doesn't go well next episode...]]
* NotThatKindOfDoctor: "Oh hell. Is that guy dead? Dammit, I'm a doctor not a... normal doctor!"
* OhCrap: In episode 23, Freeman camps out behind a corner and waits for the soldiers to run around, because he had killed several soldiers like that already, and is confident that they'll continue to do so. One of them instead chucks a grenade. After running in terror, he comments that he is watching natural selection in action.
** Earlier than that, there was his reaction to the first HECU soldier he found:
--->'''Scientist:''' Rescued at last! Thank god you're here! [''Runs towards the soldier'']\\
'''Gordon:''' Alright the rescue team!\\
[''Soldier guns down the scientist'']\\
'''Gordon:''' Or ummm, what?
* {{Omniglot}}: Gordon apparently speaks five languages, English, Spanish, German, Hindi, and Haitian Creole. He says he's been to Haiti and India in the past, and he mentions Austria a few times (where German is spoken)--specifically Innsbruck, which matches with Freeman's ''canon'' background. No word yet on where he learned Spanish, though he ''does'' live in New Mexico....
* OneManArmy: Freeman, as usual. Though Deconstructed to a degree: Freeman is very vocal about the outcome of his body count, probably predicting it will result in extreme mental breakdown and the U.S. Government hunting him down even if he manages to escape. Also, while Freeman's high intellect, physical strength, and resourcefulness help him survive, he's clearly acknowledged several times that without his suit he'd most likely be dead. [[ArtificialStupidity His enemies']] [[UnfriendlyFire blunders]] also help.
** In episode 31, he has come to the conclusion that, since he has no prior military or firearms training, doesn't belong to any extremist groups, and is just a theoretical physicist, it would be extremely difficult for the military to really believe he's killed dozens of their numbers single-handedly, and thus he may not end up being the fall guy.
* OneSteveLimit: Averted, Freeman mentions having a cousin Jesse as well as another Jesse who likes to zap himself with a cattle prod for fun.
* OnlySaneMan: Freeman sees himself this way. Surprisingly, there is a lot of truth in his statements, as per the nature of ''Half-Life'', everyone is either completely retarded (he frequently lampshades the scientists' and marines' suicidal tendencies) or trying to kill him. Or both. At the beginning of episode 13, he even says "Everyone is crazy but me!" while reacting to the marines bombing the surface. This by no means makes him [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} that sane himself]]
* OwlBeDamned: In Episode 28 when Freeman's mocking those who called him paranoid, he says "Owls can't read your mind, Freeman!"
* PaintingTheFourthWall: See ContractualImmortality.
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: When faced with a keypad lock, Gordon successfully tries "1234" as a combination. He laments that this can be attributed not to his genius, but someone else's stupidity.
* ProperlyParanoid: He uses the CrazyPrepared example above to claim being this, but then starts listing off the ridiculous things he's paranoid of.
** After all the crap that has happened at Black Mesa who to say that there isn't frogmen in the sewers and owls that can read his mind? (Probably escaped
Aperture Science experiments.)
* ProtagonistCenteredMorality:
-->'''Gordon:''' "Sooooo...guess I just started WorldWarThree. This has been a busy day. But in
Emancipation Grid actually emancipates her tooth.
--->'''Chell''': Vy toof! Vy toof!
--->Following
the end, there's only one thing Emancipation Grill incident: "I ''hate'' this place, with its big retarded cubes that matters: ''I'' did not leave any fingerprints. ''I'' was wearing my suit."
* PunchClockVillain:
-->'''Gordon:''' [''After seeing a soldier gun down his co-worker''] You see, he's not
don't even trying to plant a gun on him or hide the body. That's a bad sign. Like this is just another day at work for him.
* PunctuatedPounding: Just about every time he attacks something.
* RasputinianDeath: A subversion. In episode 15, Gordon starts pondering about how he's still alive with
have food in them, and that computer's compulsive lying, and all the injuries he's suffered.
-->'''Gordon''': So far, I've been bitten, shot, bombed, electrocuted, almost drowned, almost fallen to my death, and strangled! Rasputin wasn't so lucky! Now here I am, exposing myself to radiation! [[SarcasmMode Why not? Let's add to
creepy stains on the list! Maybe I could get burnt, stabbed and poisoned before the day's done.]]
** Incidentally, in later episodes, he [[TemptingFate gets bludgeoned, burned, poisoned, and almost crushed]]. Still not dead, obviously.
* RefugeInAudacity: Freeman thinks that there's no way that the military can convict him for the killing of dozens of marines simply because it wouldn't make sense.
-->'''Gordon''': "No military training, never fired a gun, acquitted for petty theft, not a member of any extremist organizations, has a PhD in theoretical physics. [[SarcasmMode Yeah, that sounds like our man]]."
* RuleOfFunny: Freeman slurs to an extreme degree whenever dizzy. Why? Because it's goddamn funny.
* RunningGag: Gordon repeatedly...
** ...commenting that he misses his suit helmet.
** ...killing barnacles and getting [[BloodIsTheNewBlack showered by gore]].
** ...channeling his inner monkey.
** ...wishing his suit had a grappling hook.
** ...realizing he's just gone through a DoorToBefore.
** ...contemplating hocking a loogie into various deep pits.
** ...trying to kill all of the cockroaches.
** ...getting frustrated by dead ends and trying to open them by hitting them with his crowbar (even the metal ones).
** ...checking whether someone is following him.
** ...ruminating that things are okay because he has a ''gun''. (Emphasis his.)
** ..."I should have been a _______"
* SanitySlippage
** "OH GOD I'M OUT OF AMMO!! WHOSE JOB IS IT TO RELOAD?! YOU'RE FIRED!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO AMMO LEFT?! YOU'RE FIRED TOO!!" Yep, he's talking to himself. It seems to calm him down a little.
* ScheduleSlip: After making a new video about once a month Scott didn't upload anything for the last four months of 2010[[hottip:*: Not entirely his fault since Machinima seems to take a while to put his videos up]].
** {{Subverted}} from May 7 to June 24 2011 Ross Scott made episodes 32-37
floor, and the bonus episode 0 running a nearly weekly schedule, Scaffold of Death, but most of all, ''most of all'', I hate this stupid rickety elevator, and Ross Scott has stated he hopes to prevent large droughts again, but unfortunately, the switch to Windows 7 and the time spent its infuriating Emancipation Grid! A plague on setting everything both your houses! And your summer homes! And your ''shower curtains''!
* Sheperd's Mind:
** (upon picking
up delayed ep.38 for almost two months.
--> '''''Progress Report''': Windows 7
a spore launcher) [[FullMetalJacket "This is kicking my ass.''
* SchizoTech: In the Rocket Test Lab, Gordon is flabbergasted upon seeing a reel-to-reel memory storage device from the 70's. He's even more confused when he sees what looks
weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like a punch card slot.
* ShakyCam: As the series
it, but this one is in first-person, Gordon's freaking out and spraying bullets everywhere during a firefight creates a similar effect. Justified, as a real physicist with no prior military training would probably do that too.
* ShoutOut: A lot of them. ''Film/DieHard'', ''StarWars'', ''{{Alien}}'', HPLovecraft, ''JurassicPark'', SpiderMan, SuperMarioBros... Gordon is a bit of a pop culture junkie.
** Players of ''Half-Life'' mods can notice clever references to mods.
** "[[IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I have no tail, and I must swing.]]"
** Episode 5 had Gordon saying that manslaughter [[SweeneyTodd sounds like a butcher in a evil meat shop who grinds up people for meat]].
** Episode 25 had [[{{Doom}} him wondering if the aliens were in fact demons.]]
** [[StarTrek "Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a... normal doctor!"]]
** "Bugs can crawl on walls. Maybe I should have been a bug. [[TheMetamorphosis Go team Kafka.]]"
** [[{{Airplane}} "Roger, Roger. What's your vector, Victor?"]]
** "YOU SHOT ME [[FightClub IN THE EAR]]!"
** "WHY ARE YOU BOMBING? THERE'S NO ONE HERE! WHY ARE THE SOLDIERS BOMBING EACH OTHER? [[UnReal IS THIS REAL?"]]
** "We're the ''big'' [[LittleShopOfHorrors shop of horrors.
mine."]]
** [[TheTimeMachine "Yeah, I'm (hanging on to a first generation Morlock!"]]
* ShutUpHannibal: In one episode, Freeman overhears two soldiers talking about how mad they are
ladder) "What's that Freeman killed all their friends (in self defense). Gordon responds with machine gun fire.
-->There, that's for trying to guilt trip me! Yeah, the BigBad Freeman. Of course! [[SarcasmMode
ladder? You guys didn't start shit!]].
* SmallNameBigEgo: Gordon ''is'' actually pretty smart, physically fit, and overall competent, though he tends
want me to [[UpToEleven inflate it to godlike levels.]]
-->'''Gordon''': ''(after killing a Gargantua)'' That's why the dinosaurs went extinct: ME!
* StealthPun: In episode 28, he complains about an attacker disrupting his "train of thought"... while he's on a rail car, thinking to himself.
** Every now and then he mentions "solving problems" (i.e., through violence)... and he is a physicist. [[DontExplainTheJoke A profession that involves lots of math.]]
* SteelEarDrums: Averted in episode 8.
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Sees a few Head Crabs in the vent''] Oh, you son of a bitch!\\
[''Fires several shots with his handgun, which are immediately accompanied by a high-pitched 'eeeeeee~' sound'']\\
'''Gordon:''' ''Auuuugh!'' My ''ears!'' That was not smart... firing a gun inside an air vent! I hope I'm not deaf!
* TheStoner: Gordon seems to have an unhealthy fixation with Oxycodone, though it only shows up twice so far in the series. In one of the first episodes, he presumably has a "stash" of it in his locker (which goes missing beforehand), and in Episode 17, he sees a sign reading "Oxy" and thinks it stands for Oxycodone
take my clothes off?"
*** Just
before he realizes it's liquid oxygen for a test rocket. "I don't think you can get high off oxygen.[[hottip:*:You can't, in case you were wondering.]] He later climbs into a shark cage in the hope of procurring animal tranquilizers (and is disappointed upon finding out he can't get high off the type Black Mesa uses)
** Upon seeing a crawlspace in the ceiling in Episode 20, he remarks "You could store a lot of drugs in there!"
**
Gordon's Oxycodone addiction becomes a cross-series BrickJoke when, in episode 18 of Shephard's Mind, Adrian stops to take some antidepressants [[spoiler:that he found in Gordon's Locker]], only to discover after that fact that he had in fact overdosed on stolen Oxycodone, and spends the next episode completely stoned on the stuff.
** As noted above in the BilingualBonus entry, Gordon straight-up offers to buy drugs from a passing scientist.
* StopHelpingMe:
-->'''Gordon:''' Uh oh, everything's working fine, better call in the military!
* StuffBlowingUp:
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates''] I ''have'' to blow everything up! ''[[SanitySlippage It's the only way to prove I'm not crazy!]]''
* StupidityIsTheOnlyOption: Lampshaded in episode 11, after leaping across an elevator shaft onto a ladder on the opposite wall.
-->'''Gordon:''' Oh my God! That was stupid. Why do I keep doing stupid things? Oh my God. I could've ''died!''
* SuperWindowJump: The BadassGrandpa scientist pulls this, and Gordon is suitably impressed. Too bad he dies not five seconds later.
* SuspiciousVideoGameGenerosity:
Oxycontin fully kicks in.
***
"This is... suspiciously convenient. I haven't been used to things is the best ladder ever!!"
** "I'm
going to shove [The G-Man's] briefcase so far up his ass he'll have to open his mouth to scan his ID!"
** "Electrified Toxic Waste?"
** (Notices 4 dead marines right next to some aliens) "Come on, get up Williams! Hey! Damn it. Jones! Maxwell! (notices the fourth body) Err, ummm, Well... I don't remember your name. But you're dead too, that sucks!"
** Shepard thinks that all the skeletons in the room he is in are talking to him:
-->'''Soldier''': [''off screen''] I got a bad feeling about this mission...
-->'''Shepard''': [''thinking it's the skeleton''] AHHH! What the hell? Oh
my way god! I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the marines that died because of me!
-->'''Same Soldier''': I was told to guard this area.
-->'''Shepard''': [''still talking to the skeleton''] I know... you were just following orders. It wasn't your fault, soldier. [''sits down next to the skeleton and starts crying'']
** Shepherd finds a phone and tries to call
for quite a while now.help. It doesn't go well.
--> '''Shepherd''': Yes, please put me on with your supervi-- NO DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD! [''slams phone''] RRRGH JUST DIE! [''fires pistol'']
--> '''Shepherd''': [''calmly, to the scientist''] Phone's dead.
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
--> "Where are my pants?!
--> [*ZAP!*]
--> "Oh there they are.
"
** "What's with all these grenades everywhere?"
* TakeAThirdOption: Gordon brings this up when talking about
'''ADRIAN KICKS ASS'''
** And now from
the Uncertainty Principle (how measuring an electron's position changes its momentum, and vice versa). According to Gordon, there's only one correct answer--to get drunk and light things on fire.
* TakeMyHand: Gordon tells an elderly scientist to do this in an early episode after the Resonance Cascade. The scientist [[spoiler:falls soon after, letting Gordon spout
season finale, a hilarious line.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Gordon:''' No, your ''other'' hand, you idiot!]]
* TakeOverTheWorld: Freeman wishes he could do this, and constantly fantasizes about what he'd do if he ruled it. He also has always wanted to build a robot army, and live in a giant metal spider fortress. He has no way of
moment that is actually following through on it though, so it's pretty harmless.
* TalkLikeAPirate: Episode 27
* TastesLikeChicken: One of Freeman's rants is against those who claim everything they haven't tried tastes like chicken, and he emphatically states that the giant tentacle he just barbecued likely tastes ''nothing'' like chicken.
* TastesLikeFeet: He says the bullsquid's secretions "taste like dead caterpillars."
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: Gordon tries to kill a cockroach with his machine gun, and when it fails, he says that's why he needs a shotgun.
* ThisIsMySide: He declares one of the laser tripwires to be "the line" and tells the aliens to stay on their side of it. Apparently he played the trope straight in college.
* TookALevelInJerkass: Freeman gets noticeably
more callous, uncaring, and cynical as of a crowning moment of awesome till the series goes on. Compare episode 4, where he tries to [[TakeMyHand save a scientist from falling]], to episode 10, where he says to a scientist "You're on your own, chump" and abandons him. He also talks about how slavery was a good idea and makes a back-up plan in case he accidentally shoots a civilian. There's a [[SanitySlippage couple]] [[RuleOfFunny reasons]] for this.
* TrackingDevice: In episode 33, Gordon is understandably upset when he learns his suit is full of these, which is how the HECU has been tracking him.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Doritos. Spends several episodes musing about them, and when he gets them in episodes 10-11, he thinks there's something wrong with them, despite having "enough preservatives...to mummify a small dog."
** In later episodes, he spends considerable time talking about pizza, and unusual ways of delivering it (via trams, amphibious deliveries to beaches, etc.). Unsurprisingly, this coincides with Freeman mentioning that he's pretty hungry.
*
end...
-->
[[spoiler: TraumaInducedAmnesia: Gordon's "apprehension" at '''Shepherd''': "All right. I was never a good marine. I couldn't protect the end of episode 34 consisted of at least one blow to the head. In episode 35, he can't remember the events of the previous day or so, including the resonance cascade scenario. It's not until halfway through episode 37, after he faces a bullsquid, that he really starts to remember all of what had happened.]]
** But for
people under my command. I never caught Freeman. I couldn't go fifteen meters without running into some reason [[spoiler: he has false memories of insurmountable delay. I didn't earn my advanced training or even my rank as Corporal. Some guys just dropped it being caused by a Lovecraftian cult.]]
* TwoKeyedLock: Gordon comments
on the unusual lack of this (among other security measures) at the launch site. Granted, it's me! I'm not even fighting for a missile like he thought it was, but still.
* UnfriendlyFire: In episode 30, an officer blows up a pair of his troops with a grenade launcher. Freeman theorizes this is the reason.
-->'''Gordon''':
cause, I just don't even think he was aiming for me, want to die. All the good things I did today were just because I was just the excuse!
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: Freeman,
backed into a corner and all the other mind series protagonist, to an extent.
* ViolationOfCommonSense: He occasionally does this in order to progress, as in the game. Usually lampshaded, like when he speculates that the surprisingly-flimsy concrete barriers are actually just Styrofoam.
* ViolenceIsTheOnlyOption / ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer: Invoked by Freeman, who makes a few attempts at communication with the aliens and HECU and comes to this conclusion because, well, they still try to kill him.
* WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld: "This is almost getting to be like a chore. You know, wash the dishes, do the laundry, shoot the [[EldritchAbomination Snot Thing]], empty the trash..."
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: The usual reaction to finding a new button or switch he hasn't touched yet.
-->"''[[CatchPhrase Hey, what's this do?]]''"
* WhatTheHellHero: Gordon's reaction to the HECU soldiers trying to kill him.
-->"''This is the worst rescue operation in '''history!'''''"
* WhoWritesThisCrap: Gordon is less than enthused about the "fall three stories aiming for a red circle" part of training.
* WhyWontYouDie: Gordon ponders this about ''himself'', saying, "I've brushed with Death so often, I should start giving him high-fives as I pass."
* WouldHitAGirl: Freeman does so by necessity, gunning down the female black ops he mistakes for ninjas.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Occasionally; in Episode 26, Gordon wonders if there's any hidden NaziGold inside Black Mesa. Wrong FPS game, Gordon!
* YouMakeMeSic: Averted. Gordon doesn't even deem "Yore Dead Freemen" to be worth mocking.

!!Examples In The Spinoffs

* AdaptationExpansion: The last episode of Baney's mind involves Barney hijacking a plane and escaping Black Mesa which wasn't in Blue Shift. (It's filmed in MS Flight Simulator X.
* AmusingInjuries: In Shephard's Mind.
--> '''Shephard:''' [[ShotInTheAss "Aw, I have shrapnel in my ass now.
could only keep charging forward."]]
* ApologeticAttacker: Parker's Mind episode 6, when he shoots the technician who won't lower the submarine.
** More or less Shephard, when he attacks the Black Ops agents that he wishes to go on a date with.
* [[AllThereInTheManual All There In The Video Description]]: "Who's Felix?"
** "What game is Parker's Mind really in?"
** "Are you really a girl??"
* AprilFoolsDay: The author of Felix's Mind pulled off a very convincing April Fools prank, having everyone think he was giving up his series with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcpVbGdh9Lk this]] episode.
* ArtShift: The last half of the final episode of Barney's Mind are recorded in [[MicrosoftFlightSimulator Flight Simulator]].
** Parker's Mind in episode 4, where Parker traverses through Half-Life, Doom 1 and real life.
* ArtificialStupidity: In Parker's Mind, he is constantly raving about how stupid the Ultor guards are. This is somewhat subverted however, when he first fights the Mercenaries, who actually have proper combat training.
* AWizardDidIt: Shephard decides that this is surely the reason for everything that's going on.
* AxeCrazy: Chell is slowly becoming this. She takes great delight in burning up many a CompanionCube, [=GLaDOS'=] cameras, and even a Radio when the lyrics to the song freak her out.
* BeardOfEvil: Chell is convinced that her EvilTwin has one.
** Chell thinks GLADoS has this ''and'' eyeliner
* BelligerentSexualTension: Felix alternates between demonstrating attraction and clear disdain for "Joni" (Alyx). Particularly when she volunteers him potentially suicidal missions while she stands somewhere safe doing little, yet [[DudeWheresMyRespect is routinely given a share in the credit afterwards.]]
** From what he describes, Felix's relationship with Chell definitely appears to have been this.
* BerserkButton: ''Everyone'' mistakes Felix for being Gordon, much to his annoyance.
* BrickJoke: In the Barney's Mind/Shephard's Mind crossover episodes, Shephard finds a bottle of "antidepressants" in Gordon's locker, with the brick dropping in episode 18 when he finds out that it was actually oxycodone ''after'' he had already taken about four of them. Cue CrowningMomentOfFunny that lasts all through episode 19 and partly into episode 20.
** Remember when Gordon yelled "Sucker!" to the random guard banging on the door in the first episode of Freeman's Mind? The same joke gets shown again from Barney's point of view in the first episode of Barney's Mind, with Barney soundly thinking that he'll kill Gordon for that.
** When Shephard and Barney are talking (with Shephard in a locker and Barney pondering how to get him out), they come to the conclusion that the electrified toxic waste is "an ingredient in Red Bull or something". In Chell's Mind, Chell says "Red Bull, now with more electrified toxic waste! Red Bull, if gives you cancer!"
** Felix mentions Gordon Freeman's stash of gold.
* CallingYourAttacks: "[[{{Pokemon}} Barney uses crowbar! It's ''super effective''!]]"
* CelebrityParadox: Present in the spinoff Barney's Mind. While chattering away at attacking soldiers, he asks them if they play various video games, including Counterstrike. When you consider [[HalfLife what game]] that was modded from...
** Shephard does the same thing with ''TeamFortress2'' in one episode by doing his best impression of the Sniper.
* ColdSniper: Shephard wishes he could be one:
-->'''Shephard:''' [''Looking at the G-Man''] Man how badass would it be if I just shot that phone right out of his hand right now. He'd just freak out for a second, then look around for where the shot came, then he'd see me with my smoking rifle and my cold emotionless mask, I'd slowly raise my hand, point to my eyes then back to him, and in that moment, he'd know I was the wrong person to-- [''G-Man walks into a teleporter''] god damn it my monologue took too long!
* CompanionCube: Ironically, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device ([[ICallItVera She calls it ASHPoD]]) in Chell's Mind.
** Even more ironic as she actually takes wonderful sadistic delight in burning up the CompanionCube.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Pretty much a must for any mind series but Chell is especially note worthy.
* CrossOver: Barney and Shephard meet each other at one point. And at the end of the 5th episode of ''Chell's Mind'', Chell hears [[spoiler:Barney's voice]]. Krimsin, Ian and [=CyhAnide=] all mentioned collaborating and borrowing jokes from each other.
** Chell appears in episode 14 of Felix's Mind, just after he had been [[spoiler:mortally wounded by a sniper]].
* DidIJustSayThatOutLoud: Parker comments on a useless guard while searching for Gryphon. Said guard takes offense to the comment, causing Parker to invoke the trope.
* DivideByZero:
** Shephard thinks about this with one of the enemies.
---> '''Shephard:''' What if a barnacle tried to eat a barnacle? I think that's how black holes are formed.
** Before that, he fired a Displacer shot at the Anti-Mass Spectrometer thinking that it would "teleport a teleporter."
** Also, from ''Chell's Mind'':
---> '''Chell:''' What will happen if I shoot a blue portal into an orange one. Radiation? Black Holes? What do you get when you divide by zero again. Man I hate calculus.
* DoomMagnet: Shephard lampshades it in Episode 22: Nobody he meets seem to stay alive for much longer.
** Every friendly (the [[RedshirtArmy Red-suited people]]) Parker meets seems to die at some point or another.
* ExpositionFairy: Shephard has a conversation with a Black Ops agent in episode 24 who basically serves this role.
* EvilTwin: Chell thinks the voice in her head is one.
* {{Expy}}: Harrison is pretty much just Barney in AlienVsPredator. (Not that this is bad.)
* FlatWhat: Shephard lets out a string of these after releasing the snarks in episode 15.
* FluffyTamer: Shephard, who at this point has three [[LivingWeapon alien creatures that he uses as weapons]], who he's named [[FluffyTheTerrible Gil, Sparky, and Barney]].
* GenreSavvy: Chell becomes aware that [=GLaDOS=] is a malfunctioning evil AI who's constantly lying to her by the ''third room''.
* GratuitousJapanese: Chell will often break into Japanese phrases for no particular reason.
* HyperspaceArsenal: Lampshaded by Shephard:
-->'''Shephard:''' [''Shooting at a giant alien worm''] I'm carrying more ammo than should be physically feasible on one human being! I'll sit here and shoot at you all day if I have to.
** Also averted, as he refuses to pick up the heavier weaponry (the missile launcher and the heavy machine gun) because it would be too hard to carry.
* HypocriticalHumor: In episode 10 (part 1) of "Barney's Mind", Barney complains how stupid scientists are for getting locked in freight trains. A few seconds later, he enters a freight train and it closes and locks on him.
* ICallItVera: Chell calls her portal gun "[=ASHPoD=]," [[CompanionCube and talks to it as if it were a person]].
** Parker likes the Semi-Automatic rifles used by the Mercs so much he gives his own one a name.
* IFellForHours: Shephard's Mind plays this trope about as straight as possible in episodes 10 and 11.
** Chell falls ''several miles'' via Portal recursion and is utterly terrified.
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder: Gryphon: "Damnit Parker, I'm an executive, not a pilot!"
* IntoxicationEnsues: Actually, Shephard, those aren't antidepressants.
* ItsTheBestWhateverEver: Shephard finds the "best ladder ever" at the end of episode 18. Then at the end of episode 19, when he's high off oxycodone, he finds another ladder and happily proclaims "I was wrong before! '''This''' is the best ladder ever!"
* IveGotAnXAndImNotAfraidToUseIt: Shephard uses this line, sort of.
--> '''Shephard:''' I've got a half-melted chocolate bar and I'm not afraid to eat it! 'Cause it would be good...
* JerkAss: Again, a must for any mind series, but the protagonists of Ander's and Parker's mind really stand out.
** Of all of the Mind series, Shephard seems to be the most sociable one despite being a marine. He strikes a chord with Barney and treats other people reasonably friendly. On the flip side though, people around him [[DoomMagnet seem to die quite frequently]].
** Toward the end of Parker's Mind, he
[[spoiler: [music starts to feel a little more for the people around him (even when he went on a [[spoiler:RoaringRampageOfRevenge against the mercs after they shot Hendrix]]), but still lives up to this trope.
** Averted by Chell, who is more psychotic than a jerk. Then again, there isn't anyone to be a jerk to.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Barney and Shephard. The former starts off cold and detached, but eventually ends up growing fond of some scientists and helps rescue them. The latter is a marine, and is of course going to be combat oriented, but he genuinely cares for competent people, most notably Otis.
* KarmaHoudini: Felix is starting
up]]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': "If I die today, nobody's gonna remember. Adrian Shepherd might as well never have existed. And you know what? I refuse
to believe that his misfortunes are the result of the Universe actively punishing him for previously acts of jerkassery he got away with.
* KilledMidSentence: Shephard is in the middle
this overconvoluted clusterfuck of a battle and asking one of his comrades about the operation
-->'''Shephard:''' Hey, is it true this whole thing is all a government cover up?\\
[''Spore grenade lands next the medic'']\\
'''Medic:''' Government cover ups are--\\
[''Spore grenade explodes and kills him'']\\
'''Shephard:''' [''To the aliens''] Oh fuck off! He was
disaster happened just about to explain everything!
* MoreDakka: From Shephard's Mind.
-->"''On the other hand, do
so I could get eaten by a giant squid in a dusty ventilation shaft! So screw it. I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna fight, and I'm gonna fucking win! Come and get me yo-"]]
--> [[spoiler: [Music cuts off, Shepherd runs back into hiding.]]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Shepherd''': "Ow! Leg cramp, leg cramp, ow! Jeez! Ow, damn! Man!
I really need four guns? '''Hell yes I do it's an alien invasion!'''''"
* NoIndoorVoice: Shephard gets annoyed with one Marine in episode 21 for this.
--> '''Shephard:''' HI. HELLO THERE. DO YOU MAYBE HAVE AN ''INDOOR'' VOICE?
* OhCrap: In episode 21, Shephard turns on his night-vision only
to find [[spoiler:an alien staring at him]].
* OneLiner: Most Mind series protagonists are pretty prone
remember to this, but Shephard in particular seems to absolutely love these. There are ''at least'' seven or eight in episode 22 alone, with plenty more to be found in other episodes.
* OneManArmy: every main character, obviously. Well, except Chell. Special mention goes to Felix and his 1st season finale.
* PaintingTheFourthWall: [[DeadSpace Isaac Clarke]] (Isaac Clarke's Mind) seems to be at least partially [[MediumAwareness aware that he's in a video game]], often acknowledging "plot holes" as he comes across them, as well as being able to hear the background music. Also, Barney, in musing about the strangeness of his situation, says that it's almost as if someone's "recording [his] every move and thought for some strange tv series and posting the videos on a website."
* PresentCompanyExcluded: After being attacked by a shock roach: "Not today you jumping thunder****! No offense [[FluffyTheTerrible Sparky."]]
* PromotedFanboy: In-universe example. The core Mind series group, called the "Masterminds," originally started out with just Ian (Barney's Mind) and Krimsin (Shephard's Mind). All the Masterminds that came after are pretty much one of these.
* ProudToBeAGeek: Shephard seems to enjoy tabletop RolePlayingGames and orders around a squad of soldiers as if they were all playing ''WorldOfWarcraft'' together.
* PunctuatedPounding: Shepherd in Episode 24. With a shotgun.
--> '''Shepherd:''' Dammit! Stop! [''Bang''] Shooting! [''Bang''] Me! [''Bang'']
* TheQuietOne: Douchebag in Barney's Mind,
limber up until the final episode.
* RunningGag: Chell is ''starving''.
** Parker hates Hendrix, and constantly comments on how ugly Capek is.
** Felix is often mistaken for Gordon.
** Barney hates bees. And stairs. Did he mention that he hates stairs?
* SanitySlippage: Chell is obviously starting to crack.
* SchizoTech: Parker is quite weirded out when he has to send out an encoded message, that is stored on a floppy disk, when they are several decades obsolete.
* ShoutOut: Shephard's Mind ep 23: "Diplomacy with aliens is hard. That {{Iji}} chick makes it look so simple!"
** Shephard's Mind Episode 20:
---> '''Shephard:''' Come to think of it, Mark Meer kinda sounds like me. '[[MassEffect I'm Corporal Shephard, and
before this is my least favorite tunnel in Black Mesa.]]'
** Shephard recalls a time he snuck into Aperture Science and messed with all the keyboards as a prank. This a reference to a small easter egg in ''{{Portal}}'' where all the keyboards
kind of crap. Anyway, have the letters in "Adrian Shephard" lit up.
** Barney's Mind Episode 14: After Barney rants about the Alien Grunts launching bees, he wants to know why they don't launch [[FindingNemo mollusks... or sea turtles]].
at you!"]]
* StopHelpingMe: Parker's Mind, with Hendrix.
* TalkingToTheDead: Barney's Mind episode 4: "Hey dead guy, got anything useful on you?"
* ThoroughlyMistakenIdentity: The whole point of Felix's Mind; Felix is Gordon Freeman's twin brother
Mind:
** From Episode 10: "There's no way anyone could defeat this robot. I know one man who could: ChuckNorris. He could!"
** From Episode 14-2, how about
that everyone else is constantly mistaking for Gordon.
* ThisIsSparta: Done in emulation of
cutscene:
--> '''Parker''': Why does
the [[ThreeHundred trope namer]] in Shephards mind episode 18 by smashing a window through kicking
** And played for laughs in spin-offs were theres a SPARTA remix of certain lines (Like [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mmqRqey3pQ Barneys mind 300 bees]] for example).
* UnexplainedAccent: The protagonist of Declan's Mind is supposed to be an American black ops agent, but he speaks with a Lithuanian accent. The series probably wouldn't be as funny otherwise.
** Even Chell is confused why [=ASHPoD=] is British.
* UnflinchingWalk: [[spoiler: Shephard]] shows a fantastic example of this, during [[spoiler: his fight with the lightning pigs]] in the finale.
[[spoiler: Shephard]]: This makes me ask myself, did teleporting to an alien planet make you completely Asiatic? To which I respond: "Yes, but watch this."
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: Quite common in all Mind spinoffs. Except perhaps Chell's Mind, where it's more obvious as to what the buttons do.
* WhatWouldXDo: In episode 3 of Parker's Mind, Parker is hesitant to climb a rickety ladder due to his fear of heights but realizes he can't stay at the bottom of the elevator shaft forever. He wonders what Jesus would do -- cut to a cartoon of Jesus telling Parker to
music stop being a wuss and climb the ladder.
* WouldHitAGirl: Shephard, of all people, in a pretty brutal way, with a healthy dose of [[HeroicSociopath Sociopathy]] to boot.
-->''Yup. I'm a saint''.
----
whenever I start talking?
--> '''Eos''': We need that antidote Parker! If you're not gonna help, shut up!
----
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[[caption-width-right:280:This is your brain on Gordon.]]

->''Ah, tick-tick-tock...is that the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both! That's right, here at Black Mesa when we talk about [[TitleDrop Half Life]], we mean it in [[JustifiedTitle more ways than one.]] So make your peace and come to Black Mesa! Here you'll win a chance to fight [[AliensAndMonsters freaks of nature]]; [[NoOSHACompliance escape countless safety hazards]]; [[DoorToBefore wander aimlessly for hours]]; and [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel die scared, tired and alone]]!''
-->--'''Gordon Freeman'''

''Freeman's Mind'' is a {{Machinima}} by Ross Scott that's somewhere between a LetsPlay and an AbridgedSeries of the original ''HalfLife''. The series follows the rambling, eccentric and narcissistic thoughts of SilentProtagonist Gordon Freeman as he tries to survive the events of the game, showing us that perhaps it was for the better he kept his mouth shut.

Check it out [[http://www.accursedfarms.com/movies/fm/ here]].

For both the official (with Ross's approval) Mind sidestories of Adrian Shephard, Barney Calhoun, Chell, Parker, Felix, and Freeman(-ish) respectively, see also [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNaJX6gOYMA Shephard's Mind]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGgO8O6JuM8 Barney's Mind]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgncUYbzMA Chell's Mind.]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFR1hzjV4HA Parker's Mind.]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs1Z4UqW_Ak Felix's Mind.]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AH0Y7Pla_s Freeman's(-ish) Mind 2.]]

----
!!Examples In The Main Series
* TheAbridgedSeries / DungeonBypass: Thanks to the use of cheat codes, Gordon can "climb" over obstacles and skip some sections of the game. His guns also deal more damage.
** Gordon's ability to "climb" obstacles is possibly {{lampshaded}} in one of the episodes as he comments on how he can do a pull-up.
** And later subverted in episode 24, where he attempts to do this and fails due to a sloped edge. In fact, the whole Power Up arc is something of a subversion, since he spends more time wandering around and backtracking than he needed to.
** Gordon at one point nearly bypassed the rest of the game... only to realize that he was in the middle of the desert in a metal suit with no supplies. He promptly returned to the dungeon.
* AccentuateTheNegative: The first rant of episode 26 begins with Freeman acknowledging that he's doing this. He claims that to do otherwise would be absurd because he sees so little "positive."
-->'''Gordon:''' Wow, you sure did a great job falling down that elevator shaft!
* AccidentalHero: See TheFool
* AccidentalPun: Gordon asks "What's up with this ceiling?" not knowing he made an awful pun, then chastises himself over it.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: "My simian skill saw me safely" and "The ruptured, rusty rods reveal a rift!"
* TheAlcoholic: Upon finding an elevator finally leading to the surface and presumably to his escape, Freeman muses: "I am gonna get ''so'' drunk tonight. I mean, ''way'' more than usual." And he comes into work having had two shots of vodka for breakfast.
* AliensAreBastards: Gordon is quick to take this view, which isn't that unjustified, considering the circumstances. He even calls out the trope by name!
* AluminumChristmasTrees: In the first episode, Gordon recalls how a squirrel got caught in an electrical wire at M.I.T, and how it knocked out power to the whole campus once a transformer blew up. According to Ross Scott, this actually happened. In fact, squirrels killing themselves on power lines is common enough that it comes up in the news every now and then.
* AppliedPhlebotinum: In episode 0, when Gordon notices that nothing is projecting the {{Hologram}} that's talking to him, he says it "must be nano-emitters or something".
* AprilFoolsDay: Two episodes so far. Both of them feature a variant of the "Gordon head" title card, relevant to the episode's gimmick.
** 2009, Episode 10.5: Short non-canonical episode, at the end of which Gordon dies. Episode 11 begins at the same spot as this one, with Gordon having a strange feeling of deja vu, which he suspects comes from eating bad doritos. The title card features X marks in Gordon's glasses.
** 2010, Episode 27: Gordon spends the entire video talking (or thinking) [[TalkLikeAPirate like a pirate]]. Title card features Gordon's pirate version, complete with an eyepatch and a scar on his cheek. Episode 28 starts with Gordon deciding that the pirate accent is too hard to keep up.
* [[OohMeAccentsSlipping Argh, Me Accent Be Slippin'!]]: Episode 27
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Episode 38, on a conveyor belt, trying to go past what is practically a DeathCourse:
-->Red lights, walking backwards, GIVE ME SOME MORE PRESSURE, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH! '''YES! BIOHAZARD! PERFECT! THANK YOU!''' AAAHH, FALLING TO MY DEATH! TANK OF ACID, SUPERB! ''[annoyed]'' Sidestepping...
* ArtificialStupidity: Gordon is very quick to point out the marines stupid tactics, including bombing the area where their soldiers (and no one else) are, killing each other with grenades, running straight at him around a corner even though they just saw their friends getting shot running around the same corner, firing missiles in an underground tunnel, and shooting him in the body with their [=MP5=]'s, even though he repeatedly lampshades that it has little to no effect on his bullet proof suit. This is a very ironic meta joke, since Half Life was the first game to include complex and smart enemies, but they appear stupid in Freeman's Mind for two reasons: 1. They are pretty aged in terms of AI. 2. They were never designed to fight enemies with realistic damage values (in Freeman's Mind, it only takes 3 shots to kill a soldier rather than 10 as in the original HalfLife or 7 in source). He thinks that natural selection is making them smarter though, commenting on how a few actually throw grenades instead of suicidally charging forward, and how they set up powerful turrets which could probably breach his suit.
** Then the Marines hired ''TheThreeStooges'' for episode 30 and they starting blowing each other up with grenades.
* AxCrazy: Gordon, [[DrivenToMadness in later episodes]]. For example, in episode 15, he comments on how fun it was to shoot aliens, and in episode 24, he thinks about decapitating an injured security guard and using his intestines as rope, but decides against it because it would be too slippery (and [[{{Squick}} gross]]). As of episode 39, he's killed a Black Mesa security guard in cold blood, believing that the guard was out to get him.
-->'''Freeman:''' Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, everyone dies!
* BadassBeard: Freeman constantly rants about how awesome his beard is, and how no one else has any style and how [[YouAllLookFamiliar everyone looks the same]].
-->'''Freeman:''' Does my beard intimidate you?
** This of course bites him in the ass when he realizes it helps the ''HECU'' marines pick him out from the rest of the science team, and [[SarcasmMode totally not the hazard-orange, bulletproof safety suit...]]
* BadassBookworm: Gordon makes no bones about his education; he's a graduate of MIT, and among other things he tells a bunch of enemy soldiers that his diploma is more valuable then they are. He simultaneously mocks his fellow scientists for not being as fit as him.
-->'''Gordon:''' I'm a physics-crunching badass. I'm the complete package.
* BadassGrandpa: The scientist who jumps through a window in Episode 10 and keeps a shotgun in his desk, Freeman even remarks on his badassery. Somewhat ruined since the scientist is killed by zombies moments later.
* BerserkButton: He hates cockroaches. And locked doors. And dead ends. And Vortigaunts or soldiers interrupting his train of thought.
-->"''Okay children, Class is in session! Everyone take your seats! '''I said everyone take your seats!''' Dammit Billy, that means you too! '''Take your seats!'''''"
* BigElectricSwitch: One of the few design elements in Black Mesa of which Gordon wholeheartedly approves.
* BigOMG During episode 37, he gets one of these as he is dropped from a conveyor belt 10 meters up into a pool of water. To make matters worse, [[spoiler:he's still recovering from being knocked out, and as such, is drowsy]]
--> '''Gordon:''' OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DROWN!!
* BilingualBonus: In Episode 33, Gordon gets the impression that a scientist is Spanish.
-->'''Gordon:''' Quiero un poco de drogas. ¿Dónde están? Tengo dinero.
---->''I want some drugs, where are they? I have money.''
** In an earlier episode, he uses German.
--->'''Gordon:''' Zeigen Sie mir das Geld!
-----> ''Show me the money!''
* BondOneLiner: After killing the Ichthyosaur.
-->'''Gordon:''' Call me [[MobyDick Ishmael]], [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!
* BrickJoke / CallBack: In episode 4, Gordon recalls a time when he stayed awake for four days and thought his house was being invaded by frog people. In episode 28, during a rant on how he is ProperlyParanoid, he lists one of the reasons as being "There's no race of anthropomorphic frog people in the sewers Freeman! You're just being paranoid!"
** When Gordon gets his hazard suit, he mutes the suit's computer as it narrates activating all the various systems. In the first April Fool's episode, when Gordon falls to his death, the impact unmutes the suit computer.
* BunnyEarsLawyer: Despite his ramblings, Gordon's inner monologue does show that he knows a lot about science.
--> '''Random Scientist:''' Do you know who ate all the doughnuts?\\
'''Gordon:''' NO! Do you know if leptons are really compound particles?! Friggin' donuts...
** Early on, he mentions seeing one of the [[YouAllLookFamiliar (many)]] white-haired geezer physicists writing down the equation for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitational_force gravitational force]], mentioning how it's something you'd see in Physics 1 classes. Truth of the matter? ''It really is.'' Most physics teachers (college-level, at least) also have (much) longer equations ''completely memorized'' so having to write down such a short, basic equation ''at all'' is just plain sad for a [=PhD=]-grade physicist.
--> '''Gordon:''' Those monkeys in there are having trouble learning about gravity. Whereas I can recite the quantum chromodynamic gauge-invarient Lagrangian in my sleep!
** Not to mention he actually ''does'' start reciting a lecture about fermions as he comes to in the trash compactor.
* CaptainObvious: "You know, I'm starting to think this ''isn't'' a rescue operation..."
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Seeing the Anti-Mass spectrometer malfunction and blow up the room'']: No no, this is not good.
* CasanovaWannabe: By his own admission (though without any air of self awareness), a lot of dates he goes on end with him getting tasered. He also makes reference to repeatedly hitting on a girl named Heather and failing, and theorizes he probably ended up in a trash compactor since she threw him in there.
* CatchPhrase: "Hey! I have a doctor's degree!"
* TheChewToy: Gordon. Half the fun of the series is seeing how freaked out he will get the next time he sees a giant alien or another new obstacle courtesy of the HECU.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Gordon
-->'''Gordon:''' I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes ordering you to open!
* TheCuckoolanderWasRight: In the first episode, as Gordon gets off the train, he looks back down the tracks asking "Is someone following me?" While this, at first, comes across just as him being paranoid, if one considers the actual events of Half-Life, the G-Man ''is'' following Gordon. Throughout all of the events that have happened to him so far.
* ClusterFBomb: Expect Gordon to carpet bomb the area whenever he gets ambushed or almost dies.
* ComedicSociopath: Gordon keeps fantasizing about killing his coworkers. As well as scamming the company in various ways (and it's implied at one point that he's ''already been'' stealing from them).
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: When Gordon isn't being more GenreSavvy (and crazy) than everyone else, he's frequently this.
** "[[HeroicSociopath I'm on your side, you fucking idiots!]] [[TriggerHappy How many of you do I have to kill]] [[TooDumbToLive before you understand that?!]]"
** "This self-defense crap isn't cutting it because I never get to fire first!"
** "Look at all these dead scientists! This rescue mission's a disaster."
** "Those shots came dangerously close to my head. You guys could've killed me you know that?"
* ComputerEqualsTapeDrive: "Whoa, whoa, what's this? Are you kidding me? Are we using tape reel computers? Noooo! Wait ... are those slots for punched cards?"
** "I think they ''are'' punch card slots!"
* ContractualImmortality: Double-subverted with the April Fools episode 10.5, which ends with Gordon taking a flying leap at a ladder, only to fall down into a chasm and die. The episode fades out as the HEV suit voices phrases such as "Emergency! User death imminent!" The next episode picks up where the previous one began as though it never happened. Gordon [[LampshadeHanging remarks on a feeling of deja vu]] and assumes he has eaten some "bad nachos".
* CopyAndPasteEnvironments: The staircase that looks exactly like the one Gordon got shot by a turret gun in makes him freak out for a moment.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: Freeman decides that Black Mesa is surely run by one.
-->'''Gordon:''' I wonder if the CEO just rubs himself with money...
** Episode 34 has him concluding that the company is, in fact, run by a [[JamesBond Bond]] villain.
-->'''Gordon''': We've got missiles, tons of weapons, lasers, a shark tank, and now ninjas.
* CrazyPrepared: After realizing his bank accounts are probably frozen, Gordon mentions getting back to Massachusetts to find the 10,000 dollars in gold he has buried in Harold Park State Forest.
* CreatorBacklash: Sort of. Ross Scott prefers to work on ''CivilProtection'', but difficulty in coding caused him to concentrate more on the easier to make ''Freeman's Mind''.
* DeadpanSnarker: Gordon of course, the quote at the top of the page should say it all.
* DitzyGenius: Gordon ''is'' legitimately intelligent, knows much about theoretical physics, and speaks five languages. [[HeroicSociopath He just]] [[TheStoner has]] [[TheAlcoholic a lot]] [[CrazyPrepared of]] [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} weird]] [[ProperlyParanoid habits.]]
* DrivenToMadness: It's supposed to be funny, but in the beginning of episode 17, an exhausted Gordon becomes frustrated with the monsters for not answering his questions. Later in the episode, in an unconnected rant, he questions whether he's already insane and imagining it all, then goes on about the unimaginable psychological torment he's going to endure later in life. It's actually one of the series' smartest rants, and one of few that could actually be taken rather seriously.
** ''Gordon:'' (Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates) I ''HAVE'' TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! '''''[[SanitySlippage IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!!]]'''''
** ''Gordon:'' (Shooting at a group of soldiers) I AM ON YOUR SIDE GOD DAMMIT, ''HOW MANY MORE OF YOU DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU REALIZE THAT!?!?''
** In episode 24, he thinks about decapitating an injured security guard and using his intestines as rope, but later decides against it simply because he figured the intestines would be too slippery.
** Episode 18 has him concluding that he must have encountered a pixie. He's frighteningly serious. It's safe to assume he's snapped at this point. Although, when you consider what has happened that day, the existence of pixies wouldn't be completely out of the question.
** Episode 25, he's hearing voices of the damned.
--->(It's worth pointing out that the sounds he's hearing are ''actual'' cries of the damned. The zombie Horde warning cry from Left4Dead / Left4Dead2, to be specific.)
** And in 26, he genuinely can't remember if gnomes exist (but again, considering what he ''has'' run into so far...)
** And now in Episode 27, he's started talking (thinking?) like a pirate.
** In episode 29 he starts howling like a wolf for no reason when he sees the full moon outside.
--->'''Gordon: *clears throat*''' AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- wait, what the hell am I ''doing''?
** In episode 39, he decides that everyone in the world is out to kill him, and thus he should kill everyone in the world. While he's said things like this before, he finally substantiates it by killing a friendly security guard without a second thought and shooting marines on sight. [[JumpingOfftheSlipperySlope It may be all downhill from here.]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Gordon:''' "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, ''EVERYONE DIES!''"]]
*** To be fair to Gordon, he does have amnesia at this point. He's forgotten that the security guards are friendly. Although he's definitely in a "shoot first, don't bother to ask questions" mode of thinking. Gordon also rightfully points out that the soldier he just shot would have needed to pass by said guard, who obviously wasn't harassed.
* DyingLikeAnimals: Even Gordon gets his moments.
-->'''Gordon''': ''(staring down a chasm filled with water and contemplating whether or not to jump)'' So... let's assess: Cons, I could starve to death where no one could ever find me. Pros, this could be fun as hell... I'm gonna do it. ''(jumps)''
* EasyAmnesia: Gordon has amnesia from Episode 34 onwards after a few punches to the face. He writes it off as the result of getting drunk the night before.
* EldritchAbomination: One of Freeman's nicknames for the Bullsquids is "Cthulhu Dog."
** He also thinks the tentacle is a huge creature buried beneath black mesa, and that what he destroyed was only its hair strands. Its pretty safe to say he reasonably thinks all the aliens are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s.
* EmergencyStash: Mentioned in ep. 28.
* EverythingTryingToKillYou: "I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me?! I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!?"
* FanNickname: In-universe, although the "fan" part is up for debate. Gordon calls Headcrabs "[[{{Alien}} Face-huggers]]'', Vortigaunts "Zappers", and Bullsquids "Cthulhu dogs". Interestingly, he comes up with the "Face-hugger" name before he sees one actually jump on a scientist's head, just because it looks like one.
* FlatWhat: Gordon has one of these in episode 28. He finally comes across an elevator that goes up towards the surface, and gives a deadpan "what" when he finds out the [[YankTheDogsChain path out is blocked by explosive crates.]]
** It appears again later ([[ContinuitySnarl earlier?]]) during Episode Zero (The Hazard Course) when he figures out the training program wants him to jump off a narrow platform, over a dozen feet off the ground, onto a hard concrete floor. On purpose.
* FollowTheLeader: At this point, it seems every kid with FRAPS and [[GarrysMod Garry's Mod]] is making his own version of "''So-and-so's Mind''". Because they mostly rely on the same exact jokes as the original, with poor pacing and less attention to detail, they are generally not as good as the original, though YourMileageMayVary. However, there are some rather well done {{Spinoff}}s which include:
** "[[http://parkers-mind.blogspot.com/ Parker's Mind]]" by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/emperorpsymon Emperorpsymon]], "[[ResidentEvil Leon's]] Mind", "[[BioShock Jack's]] Mind", [[http://www.shephardsmind.half-lifecreations.com/ Shephard's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/KrimsinYT Krimsin]], [[http://barneysmind.blogspot.com/ Barney's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/IRAMightyPirate Ian Riley]], [[DeadSpace Issac]][[http://www.youtube.com/user/WolfGamerX Clarke's Mind]] , and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgncUYbzMA/ Chell's Mind]] by [[http://www.youtube.com/user/CyhAnide/ CyhAnide]].
*** And the spinoffs have spinoffs: [[http://felixsmind.blogspot.com/ Felix's Mind]] claims to be inspired by Barney's Mind.
* TheFool: In his blind efforts to get out, Gordon manages to clear his own path simply by wandering around. Most obvious example is in episode 19 when, when he returns to the rocket testing station after activating the electricity and fuel needed to start the rocket and kill the worm monster.
-->'''Gordon:''' Hey, the lights are on! [''Pushes button''] Hey, it's doing something! Did somebody fix this? ''(Rocket begins to start up)'' What did I just do?
-->[''shortly thereafter'']
-->'''Gordon:''' Awwright! [[LampshadeHanging I'm making a lot of progress for not knowing what the hell I'm doing!]]
* {{Foreshadowing}}: "I'm torn between wanting to kill every bug in this building, or just leveling it with explosives... I need a bomb."
** Freeman's plans to terrorize and plunder cruise ships with a giant sea turtle, and explicitly ending episode 26 with the comment "I shoulda' been a pirate." The results are mentioned above.
** Not to mention that he talks about buying a scientist zombie off of the G-Man in episode 12. Guess what later happens to him in-canon?
** "This is so unfair, [[LargeHam I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS!]] [[TemptingFate I'll show everyone...]].
*** In episodes 5 and 36, he actually calls himself "The Freeman".
**** [[FridgeBrilliance Of course, this might explain why the rebels call him 'The One Free Man' in Half-Life 2...]]
* FrickinLaserBeams: Gordon has frequent encounters with laser beams. Sometimes they're straight-up deadly, other times they activate something else that's deadly, like trip-mines and sentry turrets.
* FromACertainPointOfView: At one point Gordon considers taking one of the Xen aliens to a taxidermist, thinking he would tell them that he doesn't know what it is and that he'll just say he got while out hunting. Then he realizes that what he's doing is ''sort of'' like hunting, and that he ''really doesn't'' know what the aliens are.
* GeneralFailure / GeneralRipper: Freeman theorizes whoever is in charge of the Black Mesa cleanup is this.
-->We must hire over a thousand people, you can't hunt down every single-- ''(gets attacked by a zombie and kills it)'' and aliens. We've got aliens popping out of nowhere. What are they going to do? Shoot everyone in New Mexico?
* GenreSavvy: "Uh-oh, I'd better check my flank. That's how they got that dude in ''JurassicPark''."
* GrapplingHookPistol: Gordon wants one, badly.
* GratuitousGerman: "Zeigen Sie mir [[NaziGold das Geld]]!"
** There's also Gratuitous Haitian in episode 12 and Gratuitous Hindi in 28. Either Gordon is a prodigy with languages or he's making it up.
** Episode 33 gives us "[[GratuitousSpanish Quiero un poco de drogas, ¿donde están? Tengo dinero]]." -- ''"I want some drugs, where are they? I have money."'' So the 'prodigy' angle seems more and more likely.
* HandWave: Gordon usually doesn't take any real damage, because the creator is playing the game with godmode on, presumably. This is handwaved by the damage Freeman takes being written off as minor. Electricity hurts, but doesn't injure. Bullets bounce off the suit or [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy miss altogether]]. Large caliber rounds or explosives can kill him right through his suit, but he dodges them. Headcrab bites are scratches. Bullsquid spit stinks but doesn't hurt.
* HardOnSoftScience: Gordon has a dim view of Freudian psychology and relishes the prospect of disproving string theory.
* HarsherInHindsight: In-universe example. In Episode 32, Freeman theorizes that his boss may be trying to take over the world. In HalfLife 2, his boss actually ''does'' take over the world, and it's implied [[spoiler:that Freeman's boss used the whole incident to do this.]]
* HeroicSociopath: Freeman eventually begins to enjoy killing aliens and soldiers.
** Although he only really does it when he has to. He tries to negotiate with them at first (it doesn't work), and in episode 28 goes out of his way to avoid fighting a few soldiers.
** From Ross Scott himself in an interview with ''PC Gamer'':
-->'''Ross:''' In retrospect, I realized that the sheer number of people you have to kill in the Half-Life games suggests that some sort of paranoid psychopath might actually have a far better chance of survival than someone sensible.
** "Oh, look at this. Aliens that can't shoot back! I'm gonna take my time here."
* HopeSpot: Gordon ''finally'' finds an elevator that isn't broken and goes up instead of down. He starts dancing in glee. Then it reaches the top, and the exit is blocked by explosive crates.
** Gordon finds a set of ridged pipes he can climb out of the facility with. [[spoiler:Then remembers he is in New Mexico, surrounded by barren desert wastelands that he wouldn't survive.]]
* HypocriticalHumor: When Gordon encounters the soldier firing a rocket launcher, he rants about how stupid and dangerous it is to fire one inside an underground tunnel. Then after killing the soldier and approaching the rocket launcher, his first reaction is to try to use it himself.
* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: When he finally gets his hand on the shotgun he was looking for, Freeman accidentally ''almost'' shoots a scientist who holed up in the room where he found it.
* IncompetenceInc: Black Mesa appears to be this to Freeman. One of the signs implores employees, "Work Harder, Not Smarter."
-->'''Gordon:''' Yeah, that's us alright -- we stay the course with stupid.
* IndianBurialGround: Gordon speculates that Black Mesa may have been built on top of one.
* InkSuitActor: [[http://civil-protection.blogspot.com/2008/03/portrait.html Ross Scott looks surprisingly similar to Gordon.]]
* InnerMonologue: The whole point.
* InsufferableGenius: Gordon graduated from M.I.T., and we he won't hesitate to let everyone know it.
-->'''Gordon''': ''(firing at soldiers)'' MY DIPLOMA'S WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!
* InsurmountableWaistHeightFence: Gordon runs into several flavors of these every time he thinks he's found an exit out of Black Mesa, {{Lampshading}} the original game's {{Railroading}}. Gordon winds up giving his own rationalizations for why they're there in the first place. However, unlike in the original HalfLife, Gordon can actually do pull-ups over easy obstacles, which ends up saving him a lot of time.
-->'''Ross Scott''': ''(in an interview with Podcast 17)'' Well I mean if you were in that situation what are you going to do? You see a bunch of things hanging down their tongues that can eat you, with a bunch of turret guns and mines lined up along the way, and you hear a bunch of soldiers chattering on their radios. Do you go that way, or do you just do a pull-up over a 7 foot wall?
** Gordon is convinced that the Adamantium (Exit) Doors have one-way mirrors and bulletproof glass. And they're all locked.
** Gordon encounters the Frictionless Hill during his brief stint on the surface ("The sandstone just breaks off!"). He finds a ridged pipe to climb, though that becomes a HopeSpot of its own.
* {{Jerkass}}: Gordon.
* JustifiedTrope: Gordon himself provides the answers for Black Mesa's unstable structure when he realizes the monsters might be teleporting into the walls. He has some more when he realizes that the "Box Smashing Room" was probably built to pad out the facility's costs so they could get the same amount of grant money on the following year.
* KillItWithFire: With regards to taking down the tentacle monster:
-->"''Haha! If you can't take the heat, get out of the rocket propulsion test chamber! [''EvilLaugh''] Burn! Burn! '''Burn!''' Physics rules!''"
* KineticWeaponsAreJustBetter: Gordon has this opinion when confronted with the lightning spewing aliens.
* LackOfEmpathy: Freeman actually ''does'' feel bad about killing the soldiers at first, but later starts to just stop caring all together. They probably don't deserve any better.
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Having just killed several soldiers''] You know, its strange. I thought I would feel weird about killing all these people, but really, I don't. That's because they're all [[SociopathicSoldier pricks and deserve to die]]! I'll make a speech at their funerals if someone wants me to. I have no problem with going up to a grieving widow and telling her "I'm sorry for your loss... but your husband was a [[DumbMuscle ratfuck meathead who tried to kill me for no goddamned reason because he was too stupid to figure out what the word "civilian" means]]. [[MercyKill If I hadn't put him down]], he likely would have come home later and strangled you in your sleep. [[{{Fetish}} And not in the kinky way]] either. I know how you base wives are..."
* LampshadeHanging: Gordon is quick to point out the ridiculous architectural design of Black Mesa, including the lack of structural integrity of every catwalk he tries to cross, the chutes-and-ladders elevator shaft, and the infamous "Box Smashing Room".
-->'''Gordon:''' So where do these things go that we need this many crates? ...That doesn't go anywhere! That's a wall! That means we're just loading up these crates so we can drop them into this pit! That means there's NO DAMN POINT TO THIS WHOLE ROOM!
** Also, Episode 14: Gordon starts pointing out holes in the plot of the game, saying that a government-funded conspiracy would not only be expensive, but pointless against randomly-teleporting aliens.
** He's also noticed that his day seems to consist of [[DeathCourse escaping from one death trap only to fall into another one]].
** Episode 28 also hangs a lampshade on the [[YouAllLookFamiliar limited models]] for NPC scientists, when Gordon finds out they know his name.
--->'''Gordon:''' Dammit, my '''beard''' betrayed me! They found my ID because I'm the only fucking scientist in here with a beard! If I went with that stupid [[EinsteinHair Einstein hairdo]] they wouldn't have been able to pick me out from a lineup.
* LargeHam: Again, Gordon.
* MadeOfExplodium: "Why does everything keep exploding?! Did we wire this place to self-destruct?"
* MadeOfIndestructium: Gordon is not happy that the doors all have bullet-proof glass. He ''is'' happy that, in an inversion, the concrete barriers shatter like Styrofoam when the tram car rams into them, but he's very confused.
** He's likewise confused why blowing an entire pile of crates full of explosives does nothing to the walls but leave scorch marks. "THOSE WEREN'T FIRECRACKERS!"
* MadeOfIron: The series abandons the standard convention of health bars and medkits, presumably in the name of realism, but in its stead simply has Gordon not take any persistent damage aside from the hole in his ear that he needs to bandage up. The creator says this is because, in this version of the ''Half-Life'' universe, the suit is impervious to low-caliber rounds. Gordon has repeatedly expressed his amazement at the durability of the suit.
* MadScientist: Freeman wishes he could be one.
-->Working in an underground lab is pretty cool. It makes me feel like I'm an evil scientist. I've always wanted to be an evil scientist. [[EvilLaugh Heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha. BWAH HAHAHAHAH-]] wait, I better shut up. I don't want a repeat of [[NoodleIncident Monday.]]
* {{Manchild}}: It borders on PsychopathicManchild in later episodes due to his mental breakdown, but Ross Scott once described Freeman in an interview as:
-->'''Ross:''' He has shifting paranoia, egomania, mild schizophrenia, over-aggressiveness, petty motivations, and immaturity in general.
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: '''All. The. Time.'''
* MindScrew: The ladder in the elevator shaft in Episode 11.
-->"''Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator! How do you get to the ladder? You take the elevator that doesn't work! Who thought this one up?!?''"
* MookChivalry: The marines usually either avert this or play it straight, due to the schizophrenic AI of HalfLife. On one hand, they politely run around corners after they just saw their partners get shot doing the same thing, but on the other, they do things like throw grenades and aim for the head.
-->'''Gordon:''' Goddamit, those shots came dangerously close to my head... why can't you [[MookChivalry aim for my impenetrable body armor like everyone else!]]
* MoreDakka: "Is that an [[CoolGun MP5]]? It '''is'''! (EvilLaugh) Now I can solve up to 800 problems a minute!"
** And then the marines bring in the tripod guns and rocket launchers...
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: In episode 3 during the resonance cascade:
-->'''Gordon:''' [[ScienceIsBad This is a bad experiment!]] [[HumansAreBastards We are bad people!]] WHY DID WE USHER FORTH THE GREEN APOCALYPSE?!
* NiceJobBreakingItHero:
-->Jesus Christ I launched a missile... I'm not helping ''anything''.
* NoodleIncident: In episode 3, Gordon says that he should calm down to avoid a repeat of "Monday".
** And after shooting a Barnacle and watching its innards (or lunch) spill onto the floor, he says "This is like a repeat of when I worked in fast food that summer."
** And in episode 16, after turning on a fan that almost cuts his head off:
-->'''Gordon:''' I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself. You go around pushing enough buttons and heavy machinery, and you end up in trouble. At least there were no witnesses this time. I mean, this is ''nothing'' compared to woodshop back in high school. I almost got expelled over that.
** He states in episode 35 that he woke up in a trash compactor ''again''. One can only imagine the other times it happened.
** He also mentions an incident in Austria that he considers even worse than the current situation, where he woke up naked and had to make clothes out of garbage bags.
** It's a character trait and not an event, but his fear of [[TheMuppets Muppets]] is presented with the same casual tone and lack of elaboration as these.
** Then there's his "memory" of "last night" when he comes to in the trash compactor. Was it his dream, a false memory induced by the temporary memory loss, or something that really happened the night before the experiment?
* NoOSHACompliance: One of Gordon's many sources of ramblings.
* NoThemeTune: But it does have a pretty recognizable "Bump bump chu...bump bump chi...bump bump" noise that plays at the beginning.
** That noise is the opening to "Military Precision" from the ''HalfLife'' soundtrack, and is copied into every ''Mind'' clone. The part right after that can be heard in the closing credits of ''Barney's Mind'' (see under FollowTheLeader above).
* NothingCanStopUsNow: Gordon finally finds the elevator to Surface Access by the end of Episode 12. [[ItGotWorse It doesn't go well next episode...]]
* NotThatKindOfDoctor: "Oh hell. Is that guy dead? Dammit, I'm a doctor not a... normal doctor!"
* OhCrap: In episode 23, Freeman camps out behind a corner and waits for the soldiers to run around, because he had killed several soldiers like that already, and is confident that they'll continue to do so. One of them instead chucks a grenade. After running in terror, he comments that he is watching natural selection in action.
** Earlier than that, there was his reaction to the first HECU soldier he found:
--->'''Scientist:''' Rescued at last! Thank god you're here! [''Runs towards the soldier'']\\
'''Gordon:''' Alright the rescue team!\\
[''Soldier guns down the scientist'']\\
'''Gordon:''' Or ummm, what?
* {{Omniglot}}: Gordon apparently speaks five languages, English, Spanish, German, Hindi, and Haitian Creole. He says he's been to Haiti and India in the past, and he mentions Austria a few times (where German is spoken)--specifically Innsbruck, which matches with Freeman's ''canon'' background. No word yet on where he learned Spanish, though he ''does'' live in New Mexico....
* OneManArmy: Freeman, as usual. Though Deconstructed to a degree: Freeman is very vocal about the outcome of his body count, probably predicting it will result in extreme mental breakdown and the U.S. Government hunting him down even if he manages to escape. Also, while Freeman's high intellect, physical strength, and resourcefulness help him survive, he's clearly acknowledged several times that without his suit he'd most likely be dead. [[ArtificialStupidity His enemies']] [[UnfriendlyFire blunders]] also help.
** In episode 31, he has come to the conclusion that, since he has no prior military or firearms training, doesn't belong to any extremist groups, and is just a theoretical physicist, it would be extremely difficult for the military to really believe he's killed dozens of their numbers single-handedly, and thus he may not end up being the fall guy.
* OneSteveLimit: Averted, Freeman mentions having a cousin Jesse as well as another Jesse who likes to zap himself with a cattle prod for fun.
* OnlySaneMan: Freeman sees himself this way. Surprisingly, there is a lot of truth in his statements, as per the nature of ''Half-Life'', everyone is either completely retarded (he frequently lampshades the scientists' and marines' suicidal tendencies) or trying to kill him. Or both. At the beginning of episode 13, he even says "Everyone is crazy but me!" while reacting to the marines bombing the surface. This by no means makes him [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} that sane himself]]
* OwlBeDamned: In Episode 28 when Freeman's mocking those who called him paranoid, he says "Owls can't read your mind, Freeman!"
* PaintingTheFourthWall: See ContractualImmortality.
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: When faced with a keypad lock, Gordon successfully tries "1234" as a combination. He laments that this can be attributed not to his genius, but someone else's stupidity.
* ProperlyParanoid: He uses the CrazyPrepared example above to claim being this, but then starts listing off the ridiculous things he's paranoid of.
** After all the crap that has happened at Black Mesa who to say that there isn't frogmen in the sewers and owls that can read his mind? (Probably escaped Aperture Science experiments.)
* ProtagonistCenteredMorality:
-->'''Gordon:''' "Sooooo...guess I just started WorldWarThree. This has been a busy day. But in the end, there's only one thing that matters: ''I'' did not leave any fingerprints. ''I'' was wearing my suit."
* PunchClockVillain:
-->'''Gordon:''' [''After seeing a soldier gun down his co-worker''] You see, he's not even trying to plant a gun on him or hide the body. That's a bad sign. Like this is just another day at work for him.
* PunctuatedPounding: Just about every time he attacks something.
* RasputinianDeath: A subversion. In episode 15, Gordon starts pondering about how he's still alive with all the injuries he's suffered.
-->'''Gordon''': So far, I've been bitten, shot, bombed, electrocuted, almost drowned, almost fallen to my death, and strangled! Rasputin wasn't so lucky! Now here I am, exposing myself to radiation! [[SarcasmMode Why not? Let's add to the list! Maybe I could get burnt, stabbed and poisoned before the day's done.]]
** Incidentally, in later episodes, he [[TemptingFate gets bludgeoned, burned, poisoned, and almost crushed]]. Still not dead, obviously.
* RefugeInAudacity: Freeman thinks that there's no way that the military can convict him for the killing of dozens of marines simply because it wouldn't make sense.
-->'''Gordon''': "No military training, never fired a gun, acquitted for petty theft, not a member of any extremist organizations, has a PhD in theoretical physics. [[SarcasmMode Yeah, that sounds like our man]]."
* RuleOfFunny: Freeman slurs to an extreme degree whenever dizzy. Why? Because it's goddamn funny.
* RunningGag: Gordon repeatedly...
** ...commenting that he misses his suit helmet.
** ...killing barnacles and getting [[BloodIsTheNewBlack showered by gore]].
** ...channeling his inner monkey.
** ...wishing his suit had a grappling hook.
** ...realizing he's just gone through a DoorToBefore.
** ...contemplating hocking a loogie into various deep pits.
** ...trying to kill all of the cockroaches.
** ...getting frustrated by dead ends and trying to open them by hitting them with his crowbar (even the metal ones).
** ...checking whether someone is following him.
** ...ruminating that things are okay because he has a ''gun''. (Emphasis his.)
** ..."I should have been a _______"
* SanitySlippage
** "OH GOD I'M OUT OF AMMO!! WHOSE JOB IS IT TO RELOAD?! YOU'RE FIRED!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO AMMO LEFT?! YOU'RE FIRED TOO!!" Yep, he's talking to himself. It seems to calm him down a little.
* ScheduleSlip: After making a new video about once a month Scott didn't upload anything for the last four months of 2010[[hottip:*: Not entirely his fault since Machinima seems to take a while to put his videos up]].
** {{Subverted}} from May 7 to June 24 2011 Ross Scott made episodes 32-37 and the bonus episode 0 running a nearly weekly schedule, and Ross Scott has stated he hopes to prevent large droughts again, but unfortunately, the switch to Windows 7 and the time spent on setting everything up delayed ep.38 for almost two months.
--> '''''Progress Report''': Windows 7 is kicking my ass.''
* SchizoTech: In the Rocket Test Lab, Gordon is flabbergasted upon seeing a reel-to-reel memory storage device from the 70's. He's even more confused when he sees what looks like a punch card slot.
* ShakyCam: As the series is in first-person, Gordon's freaking out and spraying bullets everywhere during a firefight creates a similar effect. Justified, as a real physicist with no prior military training would probably do that too.
* ShoutOut: A lot of them. ''Film/DieHard'', ''StarWars'', ''{{Alien}}'', HPLovecraft, ''JurassicPark'', SpiderMan, SuperMarioBros... Gordon is a bit of a pop culture junkie.
** Players of ''Half-Life'' mods can notice clever references to mods.
** "[[IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream I have no tail, and I must swing.]]"
** Episode 5 had Gordon saying that manslaughter [[SweeneyTodd sounds like a butcher in a evil meat shop who grinds up people for meat]].
** Episode 25 had [[{{Doom}} him wondering if the aliens were in fact demons.]]
** [[StarTrek "Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a... normal doctor!"]]
** "Bugs can crawl on walls. Maybe I should have been a bug. [[TheMetamorphosis Go team Kafka.]]"
** [[{{Airplane}} "Roger, Roger. What's your vector, Victor?"]]
** "YOU SHOT ME [[FightClub IN THE EAR]]!"
** "WHY ARE YOU BOMBING? THERE'S NO ONE HERE! WHY ARE THE SOLDIERS BOMBING EACH OTHER? [[UnReal IS THIS REAL?"]]
** "We're the ''big'' [[LittleShopOfHorrors shop of horrors."]]
** [[TheTimeMachine "Yeah, I'm a first generation Morlock!"]]
* ShutUpHannibal: In one episode, Freeman overhears two soldiers talking about how mad they are that Freeman killed all their friends (in self defense). Gordon responds with machine gun fire.
-->There, that's for trying to guilt trip me! Yeah, the BigBad Freeman. Of course! [[SarcasmMode You guys didn't start shit!]].
* SmallNameBigEgo: Gordon ''is'' actually pretty smart, physically fit, and overall competent, though he tends to [[UpToEleven inflate it to godlike levels.]]
-->'''Gordon''': ''(after killing a Gargantua)'' That's why the dinosaurs went extinct: ME!
* StealthPun: In episode 28, he complains about an attacker disrupting his "train of thought"... while he's on a rail car, thinking to himself.
** Every now and then he mentions "solving problems" (i.e., through violence)... and he is a physicist. [[DontExplainTheJoke A profession that involves lots of math.]]
* SteelEarDrums: Averted in episode 8.
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Sees a few Head Crabs in the vent''] Oh, you son of a bitch!\\
[''Fires several shots with his handgun, which are immediately accompanied by a high-pitched 'eeeeeee~' sound'']\\
'''Gordon:''' ''Auuuugh!'' My ''ears!'' That was not smart... firing a gun inside an air vent! I hope I'm not deaf!
* TheStoner: Gordon seems to have an unhealthy fixation with Oxycodone, though it only shows up twice so far in the series. In one of the first episodes, he presumably has a "stash" of it in his locker (which goes missing beforehand), and in Episode 17, he sees a sign reading "Oxy" and thinks it stands for Oxycodone before he realizes it's liquid oxygen for a test rocket. "I don't think you can get high off oxygen.[[hottip:*:You can't, in case you were wondering.]] He later climbs into a shark cage in the hope of procurring animal tranquilizers (and is disappointed upon finding out he can't get high off the type Black Mesa uses)
** Upon seeing a crawlspace in the ceiling in Episode 20, he remarks "You could store a lot of drugs in there!"
** Gordon's Oxycodone addiction becomes a cross-series BrickJoke when, in episode 18 of Shephard's Mind, Adrian stops to take some antidepressants [[spoiler:that he found in Gordon's Locker]], only to discover after that fact that he had in fact overdosed on stolen Oxycodone, and spends the next episode completely stoned on the stuff.
** As noted above in the BilingualBonus entry, Gordon straight-up offers to buy drugs from a passing scientist.
* StopHelpingMe:
-->'''Gordon:''' Uh oh, everything's working fine, better call in the military!
* StuffBlowingUp:
-->'''Gordon:''' [''Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates''] I ''have'' to blow everything up! ''[[SanitySlippage It's the only way to prove I'm not crazy!]]''
* StupidityIsTheOnlyOption: Lampshaded in episode 11, after leaping across an elevator shaft onto a ladder on the opposite wall.
-->'''Gordon:''' Oh my God! That was stupid. Why do I keep doing stupid things? Oh my God. I could've ''died!''
* SuperWindowJump: The BadassGrandpa scientist pulls this, and Gordon is suitably impressed. Too bad he dies not five seconds later.
* SuspiciousVideoGameGenerosity: "This is... suspiciously convenient. I haven't been used to things going my way for quite a while now."
** "What's with all these grenades everywhere?"
* TakeAThirdOption: Gordon brings this up when talking about the Uncertainty Principle (how measuring an electron's position changes its momentum, and vice versa). According to Gordon, there's only one correct answer--to get drunk and light things on fire.
* TakeMyHand: Gordon tells an elderly scientist to do this in an early episode after the Resonance Cascade. The scientist [[spoiler:falls soon after, letting Gordon spout a hilarious line.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Gordon:''' No, your ''other'' hand, you idiot!]]
* TakeOverTheWorld: Freeman wishes he could do this, and constantly fantasizes about what he'd do if he ruled it. He also has always wanted to build a robot army, and live in a giant metal spider fortress. He has no way of actually following through on it though, so it's pretty harmless.
* TalkLikeAPirate: Episode 27
* TastesLikeChicken: One of Freeman's rants is against those who claim everything they haven't tried tastes like chicken, and he emphatically states that the giant tentacle he just barbecued likely tastes ''nothing'' like chicken.
* TastesLikeFeet: He says the bullsquid's secretions "taste like dead caterpillars."
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: Gordon tries to kill a cockroach with his machine gun, and when it fails, he says that's why he needs a shotgun.
* ThisIsMySide: He declares one of the laser tripwires to be "the line" and tells the aliens to stay on their side of it. Apparently he played the trope straight in college.
* TookALevelInJerkass: Freeman gets noticeably more callous, uncaring, and cynical as the series goes on. Compare episode 4, where he tries to [[TakeMyHand save a scientist from falling]], to episode 10, where he says to a scientist "You're on your own, chump" and abandons him. He also talks about how slavery was a good idea and makes a back-up plan in case he accidentally shoots a civilian. There's a [[SanitySlippage couple]] [[RuleOfFunny reasons]] for this.
* TrackingDevice: In episode 33, Gordon is understandably upset when he learns his suit is full of these, which is how the HECU has been tracking him.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Doritos. Spends several episodes musing about them, and when he gets them in episodes 10-11, he thinks there's something wrong with them, despite having "enough preservatives...to mummify a small dog."
** In later episodes, he spends considerable time talking about pizza, and unusual ways of delivering it (via trams, amphibious deliveries to beaches, etc.). Unsurprisingly, this coincides with Freeman mentioning that he's pretty hungry.
* [[spoiler: TraumaInducedAmnesia: Gordon's "apprehension" at the end of episode 34 consisted of at least one blow to the head. In episode 35, he can't remember the events of the previous day or so, including the resonance cascade scenario. It's not until halfway through episode 37, after he faces a bullsquid, that he really starts to remember all of what had happened.]]
** But for some reason [[spoiler: he has false memories of it being caused by a Lovecraftian cult.]]
* TwoKeyedLock: Gordon comments on the unusual lack of this (among other security measures) at the launch site. Granted, it's not for a missile like he thought it was, but still.
* UnfriendlyFire: In episode 30, an officer blows up a pair of his troops with a grenade launcher. Freeman theorizes this is the reason.
-->'''Gordon''': I don't even think he was aiming for me, I was just the excuse!
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: Freeman, and all the other mind series protagonist, to an extent.
* ViolationOfCommonSense: He occasionally does this in order to progress, as in the game. Usually lampshaded, like when he speculates that the surprisingly-flimsy concrete barriers are actually just Styrofoam.
* ViolenceIsTheOnlyOption / ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer: Invoked by Freeman, who makes a few attempts at communication with the aliens and HECU and comes to this conclusion because, well, they still try to kill him.
* WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld: "This is almost getting to be like a chore. You know, wash the dishes, do the laundry, shoot the [[EldritchAbomination Snot Thing]], empty the trash..."
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: The usual reaction to finding a new button or switch he hasn't touched yet.
-->"''[[CatchPhrase Hey, what's this do?]]''"
* WhatTheHellHero: Gordon's reaction to the HECU soldiers trying to kill him.
-->"''This is the worst rescue operation in '''history!'''''"
* WhoWritesThisCrap: Gordon is less than enthused about the "fall three stories aiming for a red circle" part of training.
* WhyWontYouDie: Gordon ponders this about ''himself'', saying, "I've brushed with Death so often, I should start giving him high-fives as I pass."
* WouldHitAGirl: Freeman does so by necessity, gunning down the female black ops he mistakes for ninjas.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Occasionally; in Episode 26, Gordon wonders if there's any hidden NaziGold inside Black Mesa. Wrong FPS game, Gordon!
* YouMakeMeSic: Averted. Gordon doesn't even deem "Yore Dead Freemen" to be worth mocking.

!!Examples In The Spinoffs

* AdaptationExpansion: The last episode of Baney's mind involves Barney hijacking a plane and escaping Black Mesa which wasn't in Blue Shift. (It's filmed in MS Flight Simulator X.
* AmusingInjuries: In Shephard's Mind.
--> '''Shephard:''' [[ShotInTheAss "Aw, I have shrapnel in my ass now."]]
* ApologeticAttacker: Parker's Mind episode 6, when he shoots the technician who won't lower the submarine.
** More or less Shephard, when he attacks the Black Ops agents that he wishes to go on a date with.
* [[AllThereInTheManual All There In The Video Description]]: "Who's Felix?"
** "What game is Parker's Mind really in?"
** "Are you really a girl??"
* AprilFoolsDay: The author of Felix's Mind pulled off a very convincing April Fools prank, having everyone think he was giving up his series with [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcpVbGdh9Lk this]] episode.
* ArtShift: The last half of the final episode of Barney's Mind are recorded in [[MicrosoftFlightSimulator Flight Simulator]].
** Parker's Mind in episode 4, where Parker traverses through Half-Life, Doom 1 and real life.
* ArtificialStupidity: In Parker's Mind, he is constantly raving about how stupid the Ultor guards are. This is somewhat subverted however, when he first fights the Mercenaries, who actually have proper combat training.
* AWizardDidIt: Shephard decides that this is surely the reason for everything that's going on.
* AxeCrazy: Chell is slowly becoming this. She takes great delight in burning up many a CompanionCube, [=GLaDOS'=] cameras, and even a Radio when the lyrics to the song freak her out.
* BeardOfEvil: Chell is convinced that her EvilTwin has one.
** Chell thinks GLADoS has this ''and'' eyeliner
* BelligerentSexualTension: Felix alternates between demonstrating attraction and clear disdain for "Joni" (Alyx). Particularly when she volunteers him potentially suicidal missions while she stands somewhere safe doing little, yet [[DudeWheresMyRespect is routinely given a share in the credit afterwards.]]
** From what he describes, Felix's relationship with Chell definitely appears to have been this.
* BerserkButton: ''Everyone'' mistakes Felix for being Gordon, much to his annoyance.
* BrickJoke: In the Barney's Mind/Shephard's Mind crossover episodes, Shephard finds a bottle of "antidepressants" in Gordon's locker, with the brick dropping in episode 18 when he finds out that it was actually oxycodone ''after'' he had already taken about four of them. Cue CrowningMomentOfFunny that lasts all through episode 19 and partly into episode 20.
** Remember when Gordon yelled "Sucker!" to the random guard banging on the door in the first episode of Freeman's Mind? The same joke gets shown again from Barney's point of view in the first episode of Barney's Mind, with Barney soundly thinking that he'll kill Gordon for that.
** When Shephard and Barney are talking (with Shephard in a locker and Barney pondering how to get him out), they come to the conclusion that the electrified toxic waste is "an ingredient in Red Bull or something". In Chell's Mind, Chell says "Red Bull, now with more electrified toxic waste! Red Bull, if gives you cancer!"
** Felix mentions Gordon Freeman's stash of gold.
* CallingYourAttacks: "[[{{Pokemon}} Barney uses crowbar! It's ''super effective''!]]"
* CelebrityParadox: Present in the spinoff Barney's Mind. While chattering away at attacking soldiers, he asks them if they play various video games, including Counterstrike. When you consider [[HalfLife what game]] that was modded from...
** Shephard does the same thing with ''TeamFortress2'' in one episode by doing his best impression of the Sniper.
* ColdSniper: Shephard wishes he could be one:
-->'''Shephard:''' [''Looking at the G-Man''] Man how badass would it be if I just shot that phone right out of his hand right now. He'd just freak out for a second, then look around for where the shot came, then he'd see me with my smoking rifle and my cold emotionless mask, I'd slowly raise my hand, point to my eyes then back to him, and in that moment, he'd know I was the wrong person to-- [''G-Man walks into a teleporter''] god damn it my monologue took too long!
* CompanionCube: Ironically, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device ([[ICallItVera She calls it ASHPoD]]) in Chell's Mind.
** Even more ironic as she actually takes wonderful sadistic delight in burning up the CompanionCube.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Pretty much a must for any mind series but Chell is especially note worthy.
* CrossOver: Barney and Shephard meet each other at one point. And at the end of the 5th episode of ''Chell's Mind'', Chell hears [[spoiler:Barney's voice]]. Krimsin, Ian and [=CyhAnide=] all mentioned collaborating and borrowing jokes from each other.
** Chell appears in episode 14 of Felix's Mind, just after he had been [[spoiler:mortally wounded by a sniper]].
* DidIJustSayThatOutLoud: Parker comments on a useless guard while searching for Gryphon. Said guard takes offense to the comment, causing Parker to invoke the trope.
* DivideByZero:
** Shephard thinks about this with one of the enemies.
---> '''Shephard:''' What if a barnacle tried to eat a barnacle? I think that's how black holes are formed.
** Before that, he fired a Displacer shot at the Anti-Mass Spectrometer thinking that it would "teleport a teleporter."
** Also, from ''Chell's Mind'':
---> '''Chell:''' What will happen if I shoot a blue portal into an orange one. Radiation? Black Holes? What do you get when you divide by zero again. Man I hate calculus.
* DoomMagnet: Shephard lampshades it in Episode 22: Nobody he meets seem to stay alive for much longer.
** Every friendly (the [[RedshirtArmy Red-suited people]]) Parker meets seems to die at some point or another.
* ExpositionFairy: Shephard has a conversation with a Black Ops agent in episode 24 who basically serves this role.
* EvilTwin: Chell thinks the voice in her head is one.
* {{Expy}}: Harrison is pretty much just Barney in AlienVsPredator. (Not that this is bad.)
* FlatWhat: Shephard lets out a string of these after releasing the snarks in episode 15.
* FluffyTamer: Shephard, who at this point has three [[LivingWeapon alien creatures that he uses as weapons]], who he's named [[FluffyTheTerrible Gil, Sparky, and Barney]].
* GenreSavvy: Chell becomes aware that [=GLaDOS=] is a malfunctioning evil AI who's constantly lying to her by the ''third room''.
* GratuitousJapanese: Chell will often break into Japanese phrases for no particular reason.
* HyperspaceArsenal: Lampshaded by Shephard:
-->'''Shephard:''' [''Shooting at a giant alien worm''] I'm carrying more ammo than should be physically feasible on one human being! I'll sit here and shoot at you all day if I have to.
** Also averted, as he refuses to pick up the heavier weaponry (the missile launcher and the heavy machine gun) because it would be too hard to carry.
* HypocriticalHumor: In episode 10 (part 1) of "Barney's Mind", Barney complains how stupid scientists are for getting locked in freight trains. A few seconds later, he enters a freight train and it closes and locks on him.
* ICallItVera: Chell calls her portal gun "[=ASHPoD=]," [[CompanionCube and talks to it as if it were a person]].
** Parker likes the Semi-Automatic rifles used by the Mercs so much he gives his own one a name.
* IFellForHours: Shephard's Mind plays this trope about as straight as possible in episodes 10 and 11.
** Chell falls ''several miles'' via Portal recursion and is utterly terrified.
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder: Gryphon: "Damnit Parker, I'm an executive, not a pilot!"
* IntoxicationEnsues: Actually, Shephard, those aren't antidepressants.
* ItsTheBestWhateverEver: Shephard finds the "best ladder ever" at the end of episode 18. Then at the end of episode 19, when he's high off oxycodone, he finds another ladder and happily proclaims "I was wrong before! '''This''' is the best ladder ever!"
* IveGotAnXAndImNotAfraidToUseIt: Shephard uses this line, sort of.
--> '''Shephard:''' I've got a half-melted chocolate bar and I'm not afraid to eat it! 'Cause it would be good...
* JerkAss: Again, a must for any mind series, but the protagonists of Ander's and Parker's mind really stand out.
** Of all of the Mind series, Shephard seems to be the most sociable one despite being a marine. He strikes a chord with Barney and treats other people reasonably friendly. On the flip side though, people around him [[DoomMagnet seem to die quite frequently]].
** Toward the end of Parker's Mind, he starts to feel a little more for the people around him (even when he went on a [[spoiler:RoaringRampageOfRevenge against the mercs after they shot Hendrix]]), but still lives up to this trope.
** Averted by Chell, who is more psychotic than a jerk. Then again, there isn't anyone to be a jerk to.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Barney and Shephard. The former starts off cold and detached, but eventually ends up growing fond of some scientists and helps rescue them. The latter is a marine, and is of course going to be combat oriented, but he genuinely cares for competent people, most notably Otis.
* KarmaHoudini: Felix is starting to believe that his misfortunes are the result of the Universe actively punishing him for previously acts of jerkassery he got away with.
* KilledMidSentence: Shephard is in the middle of a battle and asking one of his comrades about the operation
-->'''Shephard:''' Hey, is it true this whole thing is all a government cover up?\\
[''Spore grenade lands next the medic'']\\
'''Medic:''' Government cover ups are--\\
[''Spore grenade explodes and kills him'']\\
'''Shephard:''' [''To the aliens''] Oh fuck off! He was just about to explain everything!
* MoreDakka: From Shephard's Mind.
-->"''On the other hand, do I really need four guns? '''Hell yes I do it's an alien invasion!'''''"
* NoIndoorVoice: Shephard gets annoyed with one Marine in episode 21 for this.
--> '''Shephard:''' HI. HELLO THERE. DO YOU MAYBE HAVE AN ''INDOOR'' VOICE?
* OhCrap: In episode 21, Shephard turns on his night-vision only to find [[spoiler:an alien staring at him]].
* OneLiner: Most Mind series protagonists are pretty prone to this, but Shephard in particular seems to absolutely love these. There are ''at least'' seven or eight in episode 22 alone, with plenty more to be found in other episodes.
* OneManArmy: every main character, obviously. Well, except Chell. Special mention goes to Felix and his 1st season finale.
* PaintingTheFourthWall: [[DeadSpace Isaac Clarke]] (Isaac Clarke's Mind) seems to be at least partially [[MediumAwareness aware that he's in a video game]], often acknowledging "plot holes" as he comes across them, as well as being able to hear the background music. Also, Barney, in musing about the strangeness of his situation, says that it's almost as if someone's "recording [his] every move and thought for some strange tv series and posting the videos on a website."
* PresentCompanyExcluded: After being attacked by a shock roach: "Not today you jumping thunder****! No offense [[FluffyTheTerrible Sparky."]]
* PromotedFanboy: In-universe example. The core Mind series group, called the "Masterminds," originally started out with just Ian (Barney's Mind) and Krimsin (Shephard's Mind). All the Masterminds that came after are pretty much one of these.
* ProudToBeAGeek: Shephard seems to enjoy tabletop RolePlayingGames and orders around a squad of soldiers as if they were all playing ''WorldOfWarcraft'' together.
* PunctuatedPounding: Shepherd in Episode 24. With a shotgun.
--> '''Shepherd:''' Dammit! Stop! [''Bang''] Shooting! [''Bang''] Me! [''Bang'']
* TheQuietOne: Douchebag in Barney's Mind, up until the final episode.
* RunningGag: Chell is ''starving''.
** Parker hates Hendrix, and constantly comments on how ugly Capek is.
** Felix is often mistaken for Gordon.
** Barney hates bees. And stairs. Did he mention that he hates stairs?
* SanitySlippage: Chell is obviously starting to crack.
* SchizoTech: Parker is quite weirded out when he has to send out an encoded message, that is stored on a floppy disk, when they are several decades obsolete.
* ShoutOut: Shephard's Mind ep 23: "Diplomacy with aliens is hard. That {{Iji}} chick makes it look so simple!"
** Shephard's Mind Episode 20:
---> '''Shephard:''' Come to think of it, Mark Meer kinda sounds like me. '[[MassEffect I'm Corporal Shephard, and this is my least favorite tunnel in Black Mesa.]]'
** Shephard recalls a time he snuck into Aperture Science and messed with all the keyboards as a prank. This a reference to a small easter egg in ''{{Portal}}'' where all the keyboards have the letters in "Adrian Shephard" lit up.
** Barney's Mind Episode 14: After Barney rants about the Alien Grunts launching bees, he wants to know why they don't launch [[FindingNemo mollusks... or sea turtles]].
* StopHelpingMe: Parker's Mind, with Hendrix.
* TalkingToTheDead: Barney's Mind episode 4: "Hey dead guy, got anything useful on you?"
* ThoroughlyMistakenIdentity: The whole point of Felix's Mind; Felix is Gordon Freeman's twin brother that everyone else is constantly mistaking for Gordon.
* ThisIsSparta: Done in emulation of the [[ThreeHundred trope namer]] in Shephards mind episode 18 by smashing a window through kicking
** And played for laughs in spin-offs were theres a SPARTA remix of certain lines (Like [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mmqRqey3pQ Barneys mind 300 bees]] for example).
* UnexplainedAccent: The protagonist of Declan's Mind is supposed to be an American black ops agent, but he speaks with a Lithuanian accent. The series probably wouldn't be as funny otherwise.
** Even Chell is confused why [=ASHPoD=] is British.
* UnflinchingWalk: [[spoiler: Shephard]] shows a fantastic example of this, during [[spoiler: his fight with the lightning pigs]] in the finale.
[[spoiler: Shephard]]: This makes me ask myself, did teleporting to an alien planet make you completely Asiatic? To which I respond: "Yes, but watch this."
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: Quite common in all Mind spinoffs. Except perhaps Chell's Mind, where it's more obvious as to what the buttons do.
* WhatWouldXDo: In episode 3 of Parker's Mind, Parker is hesitant to climb a rickety ladder due to his fear of heights but realizes he can't stay at the bottom of the elevator shaft forever. He wonders what Jesus would do -- cut to a cartoon of Jesus telling Parker to stop being a wuss and climb the ladder.
* WouldHitAGirl: Shephard, of all people, in a pretty brutal way, with a healthy dose of [[HeroicSociopath Sociopathy]] to boot.
-->''Yup. I'm a saint''.
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