History Funny / FreemansMind

18th Jul '16 9:11:29 AM Morgenthaler
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* After being shot at by the military for the [[PerfectlyCromulentWord eleventy billionth]] time, he decides to use the strategy of "wait around a corner, let them pass, then shoot" that worked for him so far. But then the soldiers catch [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy on to him]]...

to:

* After being shot at by the military for the [[PerfectlyCromulentWord eleventy billionth]] time, he decides to use the strategy of "wait around a corner, let them pass, then shoot" that worked for him so far. But then the soldiers catch [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy on to him]]...him...
11th May '16 9:03:02 AM SonicWind
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--> [''Scientist falls to his death'']

to:

--> [''Scientist falls to his death'']death, screaming'']



-->[''later'']
--> '''Freeman:''' "Why does everyone have to keep dying on me? Is it really so hard to just not die? I mean, look at me! I was in the chamber at freaking ground zero and I'm still here! Yet you guys slip on a banana peel and that's it! Ugh. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin Darwin]] was right. I didn't realize I was working with a bunch of lemmings."

to:

-->[''later'']
--> [''splat'']
--> '''Freeman:''' "Why Aah, you ''suck''! Now you're dead and I ''still'' can't get out of here! Thanks for nothing! Why does everyone have to keep dying on me? Is it really so hard to just not die? I mean, look at me! I was in the chamber at freaking ground zero and I'm still here! Yet you guys slip on a banana peel and that's it! Ugh. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin Darwin]] was right. I didn't realize I was working with a bunch of lemmings."



-->'''Freeman:''' What the fuck!?! Now I'm ''covered'' in blood! My hair... this is gonna jam my gun! [''to scientist''] And what about you! Enjoying the show!?!

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' What the fuck!?! Now I'm ''covered'' in blood! My hair... this is gonna jam my gun! [''to scientist''] And what about you! you!? Enjoying the show!?!



-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, no shit Skippy. I've got more blood on me than an axe murderer. I'd be arrested if I were to approach a child looking like this.

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' Yeah, no shit shit, Skippy. I've got more blood on me than an axe murderer. I'd be arrested if I were to approach a child looking like this.



* "Call me Ali Baba. Open Sesame!" *BANG*
** Fires three shots at door "3 shots point blank... man, what the hell? It's like one of those doors in WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes where they blow up the building, but the door's still standing."

to:

* "Call me Ali Baba. Open Sesame!" *BANG*
** Fires
''(fires three shots times at a door "3 shots to no effect)'' "Fine, then-- ''Close'' Sesame! Man, 3 rounds of buckshot point blank... man, what the hell? It's like one of those doors in WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes where they blow up the building, but the door's still standing."



* "Ohhh my God that was stupid! [[StupidityIsTheOnlyOption Why do I keep doing stupid things?!]] Oh my Guh- I could've died!"

to:

* "Ohhh "Ohhh, my God God, that was stupid! [[StupidityIsTheOnlyOption Why do I keep doing stupid things?!]] Oh my Guh- I could've died!"



-->'''Freeman:''' Aww yeah, the rescue team!

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' Aww Aww, yeah, the rescue team!



* In what is possibly one of the best quotes from anything ever, when shooting at the soliders outside... "Give peace a chance! Or at least stand still!"

to:

* In what is possibly one of the best quotes from anything ever, when shooting at the soliders soldiers outside... "Give peace a chance! Or at least stand still!"


Added DiffLines:

-->'''Freeman:''' "Follow me."
9th May '16 12:59:46 PM GoldenKeyblade
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-->'''Freeman:''' What the hell is happening!? Nothing's immune to explosives! Is this a god? Am I fighting ''GOD!? '''IS THIS WHAT GOD LOOKS LIKE!?'''''

to:

-->'''Freeman:''' What the hell is What's happening!? Nothing's immune to explosives! Is this a god? Am I fighting ''GOD!? '''IS THIS WHAT GOD LOOKS LIKE!?'''''
8th May '16 6:23:50 AM rjd1922
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-->"Why would we do that?! Either everything conforms to standards, or we blow up the assembly line, is that it? What the hell, this is an ''American'' company; we're not supposed to have that AllOrNothing mentality like the Japanese. I'm gonna shoot it. I don't care if it blows up the conveyor, it's ''their'' fault." '''*blows it up*''' "Yep, I blew up the conveyor. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Now the district manager has to commit harakiri, I guess]]. This reminds me of those old video games from Japan that were impossible to beat, and if you died [[SeriousBusiness they would tell you how many fingers to cut off to preserve your honor]]."
* "Oh this is ''[[DoorToBefore that]]'' door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! '''LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION!''' '''''RAAUUUGHH!''''' ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actually I was just kidding,]] [[SarcasmMode I don't like that option.]]"

to:

-->"Why would we do that?! Either everything conforms to standards, or we blow up the assembly line, is that it? What the hell, this is an ''American'' company; we're not supposed to have that AllOrNothing mentality like the Japanese. I'm gonna shoot it. I don't care if it blows up the conveyor, it's ''their'' fault." '''*blows it up*''' "Yep, I blew up the conveyor. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Now the district manager has to commit harakiri, I guess]]. This reminds me of [[NintendoHard those old video games from Japan that were impossible to beat, beat]], and if you died [[SeriousBusiness [[{{Yubitsume}} they would tell you how many fingers to cut off to preserve your honor]]."
* "Oh this is ''[[DoorToBefore that]]'' door. So leaving was never an option. Crawling in circles until you fucking die there's an option! I LIKE THAT OPTION! '''LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION!''' '''''RAAUUUGHH!''''' ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Actually I was just kidding,]] [[SarcasmMode [[SincerityMode I don't like that option.]]"
5th May '16 2:06:59 AM Horo-kun
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-->"Why would we do that?! Either everything conforms to standards, or we blow up the assembly line, is that it? What the hell, this is an ''American'' company; we're not supposed to have that AllOrNothing mentality like the Japanese. I'm gonna shoot it. I don't care if it blows up the conveyor, it's ''their'' fault." '''*blows it up*''' "Yep, I blew up the conveyor. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Now the district manager has to commit harikari, I guess]]. This reminds me of those old video games from Japan that were impossible to beat, and if you died [[SeriousBusiness they would tell you how many fingers to cut off to preserve your honor]]."

to:

-->"Why would we do that?! Either everything conforms to standards, or we blow up the assembly line, is that it? What the hell, this is an ''American'' company; we're not supposed to have that AllOrNothing mentality like the Japanese. I'm gonna shoot it. I don't care if it blows up the conveyor, it's ''their'' fault." '''*blows it up*''' "Yep, I blew up the conveyor. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Now the district manager has to commit harikari, harakiri, I guess]]. This reminds me of those old video games from Japan that were impossible to beat, and if you died [[SeriousBusiness they would tell you how many fingers to cut off to preserve your honor]]."
20th Apr '16 12:39:21 AM erforce
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* "So, my only way out of here is to take some flying LeapOfFaith like that scene in IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade, then claw like a mad cat, and hope like hell I get a grip and don't break my ribs! Once again, I need a [[GrapplingHookPistol grappling hook.]] I can't believe this. Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator! ''How do you get to the ladder?'' '''You take the elevator that doesn't work!''' Who thought this one up?! Jesus Christ! I suppose I could do the math on whether this jump is feasible or not, but, you know... we'll have plenty of time for that when I'm dead.

to:

* "So, my only way out of here is to take some flying LeapOfFaith like that scene in IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade, ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade'', then claw like a mad cat, and hope like hell I get a grip and don't break my ribs! Once again, I need a [[GrapplingHookPistol grappling hook.]] I can't believe this. Why do you have a ladder in an elevator shaft? To fix the elevator! ''How do you get to the ladder?'' '''You take the elevator that doesn't work!''' Who thought this one up?! Jesus Christ! I suppose I could do the math on whether this jump is feasible or not, but, you know... we'll have plenty of time for that when I'm dead.
28th Feb '16 11:18:23 AM AnonFangeekGirl
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Added DiffLines:

* Freeman commenting that his current location would make for a great water park, if they made a few changes like expanding the length of the canals and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick getting rid of the special forces unit]].
--> '''Freeman''': The customers shouldn't have to be packing heat in order to finish the ride.
16th Feb '16 7:55:47 AM Berserker88
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* "People say you have to play the cards you've been dealt in life. I don't think so. I think if you've been dealt a stacked deck, you can knock the table over, pull out a gun, and start firing on... [[Metaphorgotten life, I guess]]."

to:

* "People say you have to play the cards you've been dealt in life. I don't think so. I think if you've been dealt a stacked deck, you can knock the table over, pull out a gun, and start firing on... [[Metaphorgotten [[{{Metaphorgotten}} life, I guess]]."
16th Feb '16 7:55:15 AM Berserker88
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* "People say you have to play the cards you've been dealt in life. I don't think so. I think if you've been dealt a stacked deck, you can knock the table over, pull out a gun, and start firing on... life, I guess."

to:

* "People say you have to play the cards you've been dealt in life. I don't think so. I think if you've been dealt a stacked deck, you can knock the table over, pull out a gun, and start firing on... [[Metaphorgotten life, I guess.guess]]."
8th Feb '16 6:36:05 PM PaulA
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* "Whoever set up this intercom system clearly wanted to fight me. I keep hearing "dimensional power! Dimensional contamination!" What the fuck are they talking about?? I'm pretty sure these aliens are THREE-dimensional! They're probably from somewhere deep in space, but SPACE isn't another dimension! Does somebody here think they're BuckarooBanzai? But OK, let's say the teleportation event represents cross-dimensional activity. How do we know this? Have we figured all this out in the past 2 days during a ''panic?'' AND invented and set up cross-dimensional detectors around the facility like they're smoke alarms? [[RuleOfThree AND]] set up a network to intercom system to inform us when one happens?? If so, WOW! Color me ''impressed''!"

to:

* "Whoever set up this intercom system clearly wanted to fight me. I keep hearing "dimensional power! Dimensional contamination!" What the fuck are they talking about?? I'm pretty sure these aliens are THREE-dimensional! They're probably from somewhere deep in space, but SPACE isn't another dimension! Does somebody here think they're BuckarooBanzai? [[Film/TheAdventuresOfBuckarooBanzaiAcrossThe8thDimension Buckaroo Banzai]]? But OK, let's say the teleportation event represents cross-dimensional activity. How do we know this? Have we figured all this out in the past 2 days during a ''panic?'' AND invented and set up cross-dimensional detectors around the facility like they're smoke alarms? [[RuleOfThree AND]] set up a network to intercom system to inform us when one happens?? If so, WOW! Color me ''impressed''!"
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.FreemansMind