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This fic was a huge disappointment.
The plot was extremely flimsy and weak. Supposedly, it's a divergence AU in which things go differently because Frieza didn't blast Goku. The problem is that nothing that turns out differently stems from this event. Namek still explodes, Cold still finds Frieza and roboticizes him. It diverges once Cooler takes Friezaís place on Earth, but the problem is that this isnít caused by him not shooting Goku. It just happens.
Friezaís Heel Face Turn was poorly written, his nature excused entirely by a cheap Freudian Excuse. He suddenly felt remorseful and cried about what he did. Having his planet blown up and a nice mommy wouldnít make him care. The author fails to understand how ruling by fear and sociopathy work, painting Frieza as an unintelligent puppy-kicker who is being saved from a weak straw viewpoint.
The writing itself is awful. The grammar, formatting, and spelling were terrible, misspellings and abysmal sentence structures littered abundantly throughout the fic.
The characterization is terrible. Frieza is incredibly OOC, the author completely re-imagining him to suit the storyís needs. Queen Cold was a Purity Sue; sheís only there to excuse Friezaís evil nature. King Cold is way more evil than in canon. Inyon is intrusive and ruins the general tone of the fic, her dialog being out of place and unappealing. The pairings made no sense and had little believability; Yamcha/Inyon and Polarri/Midgyo randomly hook up after some minor flirting. As do Frieza and Zangya, for some reason.
There was blatant Author Appeal. Sometimes itís acceptable, but here it was unappealing and disruptive, mainly with the authorís hatred of the Buu saga. Instead of just rewriting it with Majin Frieza or something, he decides to make a GT knockoff villain blow up Badibiís ship Ė a cheap Take That. Cellís line namedropping Honor Trip was beyond blatant and completely unnecessary. Humans are suddenly relevant and learned the kaioken just because.
The author also had a nasty habit of spoiling parts of the story in the Authorís Notes; even the poorest of writers know that thatís a big no-no.
See, Iím a Frieza fan, and there arenít many good Frieza-centric fics out there. Hearing positive reviews of this fic, I was excited. Unfortunately, I was let down by a poor Freudian Excuse, poor writing and grammar, and subpar characterization.
How is this able to have 405 words?
Sounds like hot garbage.
The only thing I agree on is the purity sue and the weird ass random pairings.
Huh, according to my counter, it only has 390 words. Maybe the site's counter is glitched?
While some of your complaints are valid a lot of them really aren't. Why wouldn't Namek still blow up? The change was that he didn't blast Goku, but the planets fate was already sealed from earlier, and him deciding not to blast Goku had little to do with it. Frieza's mechanic limbs last all of 1, or 2 chapters, and since Frieza didn't get exploded on he can get his flesh, and blood body back. Cooler going to Earth with his father did make sense. He went with Frieza in cannon, but since Frieza refused to go in this AU then King Cold took his other son.
While there are always spelling, and grammatical problems the fic is still far better than the average fic you see on the site. Inyon is an OC, and they're pretty hit, or miss so I'll abstain from your commenting on your opinion of her. I'm at a loss as to why the humans being relevant, and learning a skill that they could easily be taught is an issue.
See I was expecting a deep insightful discussion on the flaws on the story since I read it, and overall was very pleased with it. But I was let down by a poor excuse for a review that was mostly full of opinions, and so decided to write a negative review without thinking.
See what I did there?
"He decides to make a GT knockoff villain blow up Badibiís ship"
That line right there showed me you really don't know that much about the series. The "knockoff" villains Raichi and Hatchiyack originate from Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans, which predates GT by 3 years. Yeah, grammar and spelling was niffy in the beginning but it did actually get better. When his father dies, Frieza is free from his influence and is surrounded by more positive influences such as Inyon and Slak. He still has slightly evil intentions though and does not truly perform a Heel Face Turn until he saves Trunks in the Cell games. And this part is personal opinion but I thought that the reference to Honor Trip by Cell was just a subtle little shoutout and nothing close to "name dropping".
I just hate how extremely opinionated this review is, that's all.
Wow, no need to lash out. It's just a review.
Itís funny, you say my review is opinionated, yet here you are nitpicking my negative review because you personally enjoyed the fic. I was disappointed from legitimate examples of poor writing and characterization, and the fact that you canít recognize them simply baffles me. Freudian excuses are cliched and lazy, Frieza is completely OOC and boring, and the writing in general is either average at its best and childish at itís worst. The point of mentioning Namek exploding, Frieza becoming Mecha Frieza, ect was to show that Goku choosing to not blast Goku, the supposed reason why the story turns out differently than it did in cannon, didnít affect these things. That was supposed to be a key reason why events turned out differently and it didnít, outside forces and decisions that the author pulled out of his ass like Cooler deciding to take Friezaís place to travel to earth did.
There is nothing wrong with being critical of things, the point of this review wasnít to outright bash the fic in blind hatred, but to show WHY this fic fails as a Heel Face Turn AU. Maybe if you werenít so opinionated youíd understand that.
Alright but what does that have to do with anything? Either way itís still blatant Author Appeal. Yes, the spelling errors got a bit better but thereís still the fact that the characters, plot, fighting scenes, internal conflict, dialog, and descriptions were all poorly written. Thatís just one less thing out of the dozens of reasons why this fic is overhyped and not very good. One.
I didnít see Frieza do anything even remotely evil after Namek exploded, he was neutral and personality-less for most of the fic. And ďpositive influencesĒ doesnít cure a lack of empathy and complete sociopathy, and thatís not even the reason why he became good in the first place. He became good because his mother was a Purity Sue, his father became Ron the Death Eater, and his planet exploded, all convenient, poorly written excuses. Finally that Honor Trip name drop COULD have been subtle if it wasnít so awkwardly written and had the title capitalized. If you instantly recognize what the author was referring to then itís NOT subtle.
Iím up for legitimate debates and challenges over my criticisms of the fic, but they need to be ACTUAL CRITICISMS, not minor bullshit nitpicks because you liked the fanfic. And if you think my review was opinionated for being a negative one then youíre not only hypocritical, but not very understanding to what criticism is, or the point of reviews in general. Donít get offended just because someone had a different response than you towards the fic.
valid reasons, but completely wrong.
King Cold is way more evil than in canon
I...don't see how that's a problem. In canon, King Cold was the head of an organization that regularly committed genocide of planets, and brushed off the death of his own son. The main reason he's not as bad as Frieza in canon is because he doesn't get nearly as much screentime as his son. Making somebody who was already a cruel bastard even worse doesn't seem like an issue.
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