Reviews Film / F 9

How did we end up here?

Do you remember when "they're going to space!!!" was just a wild, ridiculous, hyperbolic joke? It was around the time they used cars to fight off a tank and bring down a military cargo plane on an infinitely long runway. "Ha ha," we all thought. "The Fast and Furious franchise is crazy dumb, but it's not that crazy dumb."

Then they made a movie where they used muscle cars to bring down a nuclear submarine.

"See?" we all thought. "They're crazy, but they're not going to space. It's just a nuclear sub, it's not that crazy."

We were only deluding ourselves the whole time.

I don't quite know how we got here, but at the same time, it also felt inevitable. This is, by far, the craziest one yet. And it's self-aware enough to acknowledge that. It is, in fact, that crazy dumb.

Some people may have jumped off this crazy train a long time ago. Perhaps it was when the secret special government agency thought hiring a bunch of street racers was the best idea to save the world. Maybe it was when The Rock flexed his arm out of a cast and manually wielded a minigun. Maybe it was when they race-fought their evil mirror team. Maybe it was when they played Skip-It with a bank vault. Perhaps it was before that.

In any case, at this point, you should all know where this train is going. If you haven't bailed out by now, you should already know the direction it's headed. If you're somehow surprised by what's going on with this film... well, perhaps you're the crazy one.