Story sets itself up interestingly, but unfortunately it fails to deliver itself in the end.
Main problem the story has that it lacks focus and good main character. Nick, now bitter shell of self, ends up invalidating the nominal main character (July). July is very quickly pushed aside so we can focus on Nick moping around.
Story relies also very heavily on "remember this from the movie" elements. Entire lines are lifted and reused from the movie.
Story has bad habit of invalidating actions of everyone else except Nick. July doesn't break a case open because she is good, but because she was directly lead to the solution by evil politicians whose... evil plan you don't know unless you read separate story. July doesn't really DO anything, her shining moment is cowering in fear, holding a kid, while Nick saves them.
All in all, if the story had stuck to July and her actions, her motives and all, this could have been something great. Unfortunately, it ends up flopping by the end, trying too much to pull on the feels.
Flawed gem
Story sets itself up interestingly, but unfortunately it fails to deliver itself in the end.
Main problem the story has that it lacks focus and good main character. Nick, now bitter shell of self, ends up invalidating the nominal main character (July). July is very quickly pushed aside so we can focus on Nick moping around.
Story relies also very heavily on "remember this from the movie" elements. Entire lines are lifted and reused from the movie.
Story has bad habit of invalidating actions of everyone else except Nick. July doesn't break a case open because she is good, but because she was directly lead to the solution by evil politicians whose... evil plan you don't know unless you read separate story. July doesn't really DO anything, her shining moment is cowering in fear, holding a kid, while Nick saves them.
All in all, if the story had stuck to July and her actions, her motives and all, this could have been something great. Unfortunately, it ends up flopping by the end, trying too much to pull on the feels.