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Avengers: Age of Ultron came out in 2015 but it feels like a million years ago. I blame the fact that there have already been ten other Marvel movies since then. I skipped Ultron the first time around because Avengers was such a mediocre first movie, and I had absolutely no intention of trying out the sequel. But you know, the recent run of decent to good Marvel films made me want to go back and fill in that gap. 'I have now learnt that Ultron is a piece of shit.
Now I can understand why people go on about superhero fatigue so much. DC have been making crap movies for ages, but at least those are spectacularly crap. Marvel movies are the bland wallpaper paste of bad movies. Everything about Ultron feels anaemic and lifeless, whether it's showing us an unconvincing, CGI heavy action scene or an equally unconvincing CGI heavy mooch around some glass and steel office space for designated emotional moments. It's a thing utterly devoid of genuine drama, tension or excitement.
The most obnoxious fishbone in the throat though is Whedon's writing. Remember those horribly dated action movies/games where a hero spots an army of henchmen charging at them, and they'll mutter something lame about "having a party" or "needing a vacation"? Imagine if a writer in 2015 thought those were the cleverest jokes, and decided to make every line in his movie just like that. Whedon's characters don't talk, they just regurgitate clichés past one another in some vague semblance of a conversation. Occasionally one cliché will set up a smart arsed comeback, which Iron Man will inevitably make because any moment of not talking is a bad moment in Whedon's book.
Oh yes, also Iron Man. Fucking Iron Man! Remember in the first Iron Man movie, where Iron Man learns to stop building deadly weapons because they keep falling into the hands of bad guys? Iron Man unlearns this lesson before every movie, because the next thing he does is build ever more complicated drones and weapon systems for baddies to hijack. He's such a plot leech. Whedon fell in love at first sight with the wisecracking, libertarian, genius, ladies man and decided to make him the focus of everything forever. He creates the main villain of this movie, so of course, its up to him to deal with it too. It has to be him making all the big speeches, it has to be his crisis of faith to drive the story, it has to be his bildungsroman. Let someone else have a go!
The only thing I almost liked was Ultron himself. He bucks the Marvel trend of standard, spiky, super serious, super villains. Instead he's this self-aware, shrugging, 9 foot tall, killer robot bloke. In any other movie this would be a fun character, but in this movie where every character blathers and quips with the same voice, the one squirt of originality is diluted out.
On Netflix, this movie cost me nothing except the two hours and twenty minutes I invested in it. It was a bad investment.
Remember in the first Iron Man movie, where Iron Man learns to stop building deadly weapons because they keep falling into the hands of bad guys? Iron Man unlearns this lesson before every movie, because the next thing he does is build ever more complicated drones and weapon systems for baddies to hijack.
That\'s...not entirely accurrate. Tony never stopped building weapons in Iron Man 1. If that were the case, all of his other suits would have never been made. He stopped using them to profit from war, and instead, decided to start using his inventions to help people. Hence why he made the drones. They\'re made with intent to aid civilians and not made for combat.
He creates the main villain of this movie, so of course, its up to him to deal with it too. It has to be him making all the big speeches. Let someone else have a go!
That\'s also not accurate. Like...at all. Speeches are also made by Cap, Clint, Vision, and Wanda, the latter being the one who destroys Ultron\'s primary body (and Vision destroying a remaining straggler body). Tony (along with Thor) destroyed Ultron\'s machine, but he did in fact \"Let someone else have a go\" in this film.
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