Anonymous8043
Since: Jun, 2017
06/04/2017 00:00:00
I\'d just like to say thanks for reading even -half- of my story, and that I\'ve taken your criticism to heart. I don\'t actually have any idea what I\'m doing, so every bit helps.
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Quid Pro Quo
DISCLAIMER: This review was written after reading only the first half of the (very long) story. While I think this is enough to have gotten a feel for the writing, I obviously cannot properly judge the whole arc of the plot.
While rva98014's review characterized their relationship in this fic as Platonic Life Partners, I'm not sure I agree with that. Even if they don't get together in the fic, they seem to have way too much UST for it to really feel like a fully platonic portrayal, and the writing style of the prose often made me feel like I was reading a romance novel during the scenes with Nick and Judy together.
Although it's hard to tell to what extent this is intentional, since the style of the prose is somewhat strange overall, replete with Said Bookism abuse and lots of odd word choices all over. This being the case, what I'm perceiving as UST may well actually be more of a Relationship Writing Fumble.
Another thing that doesn't sit well with me about the fic is that its portrayal of Nick is massively over-the-top extreme in terms of how messed up he is inside. Yes, his experiences had made him rather bitter and cynical, and until he met Judy he had resigned himself to being nothing but a two-bit hustler. But this portrayal comes across as mentally unstable and barely holding it together, with his internal monologue being more of a dialogue with multiple distinct voices constantly arguing, and the extent to which his personality is generally warped, and the lengths he goes to put up a facade and hide his true self, just seem too extreme to feel authentic to canon.
And there were several other things that didn't mesh well with canon. An example of this is that Nick is said to maintain dozens of fake identities and almost never uses his real name. That this contradicts the fact that he was never shown doing this in the movie and used his real name with Judy from the moment he met her is Lampshaded and Hand Waved, but never really satisfactorily explained.
Despite its faults, this fic is not without redeeming qualities. Despite the questionable prose, the author is clearly a decent storyteller, and this crazy version of Nick manages to be interesting even if he doesn't really authentically feel like the same character from the movie.
Interesting enough that the fic kept me reading long after I had identified its severe faults, although I did finally lose interest around the halfway mark.