Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

Title is pretty much Exactly What It Says on the Tin.

...

When I was a kid, I thought prostitutes were... well I thought the job had something to do with court/the law. Apparently I'd gotten the word mixed up with something rather different...

I thought beating me was my mother's way of showing she cared. Oh my, that was morbid.

I thought oral sex was sex performed over the phone.

When I was a kid, I thought prostitutes were... well I thought the job had something to do with court/the law. Apparently I'd gotten the word mixed up with something rather different...

I got Prostitutes, Protestants, and Protestors mixed up a bit when I was younger.

I thought beating me was my mother's way of showing she cared. Oh my, that was morbid.

I thought oral sex was sex performed over the phone.

That would be aural sex. -Rimshot-

I used to think that semen was pee.

Also, that Charizard evolved into Moltres.

I thought Cloyster could be forced to devolve into Gastly.

edited 17th Oct '10 11:29:43 PM by Mapi

I used to think that everytime you ate a chocolate biscuit, a fairy died.

I thought movesets like Fire Blast/Flamethrower/Fire Spin/Ember were a good idea.

I used to think all attack movesets were the best. Thankfully, a Google search on "Baton Pass" a decade ago changed that.

I thought that if you swallowed a slug, it would expand in your stomach and kill you.

Did you people do nothing but play Pokemon as a kid?

Well, it was all the rage when I was 8 years old.

I thought that when you watched a VHS tape, there was an actual broadcast. And when you rewound or fast-forwarded, there was a staff of people to turn the video back or speed it up.

edited 17th Oct '10 11:56:18 PM by AXavierB

I used to think that Che Guevera was Karl Marx cause I thought "Oh yeah, he's the Head Communist Guy"

I used to think that I could control the wind.

The rest of you are lame.

edited 18th Oct '10 12:02:21 AM by LuckyRevenant

And I thought that Niccolo Machiavelli wrote The Little Prince.

edited 18th Oct '10 12:02:39 AM by Mapi

I thought that if you didn't close the car door in ten seconds after opening it, the car would explode.

My mother was a very desperate liar at the time.

I thought the sex shop in my neighorhood sold car insurance.

^ Must've made for quite a few interesting conversations.

Nope, never mentioned it until I put two and two together.

I used to think I had psychic abilities. Actually, I still think I have psychic abilities. I'm telling you guys, I can totally see into the future when I dream. Maybe I should become a super hero!

You could be the Sandman (or Sandgirl, as it were).

I thought babies came out of the butt. I got that from "The Lion King", somehow.

^You too?

I thought sex was just rolling around in bed kissing.

I thought that kissing people was spitting seeds into someone's mouth that would turn into a baby because one of my friends convinced me so, and we'd go telling all of the girls chasing boys to kiss them on the playground.

I used to think I was insane and everyone was just too nice to tell me. Not that I think that now >_>