Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation, Fully Ramblomatic)

There's also that. I love being able to skip the opening sequence on Youtube, something that always annoyed me on The Escapist.

There's also the bonus that I pay for Youtube Premium, so there's no ad-blocking guilt.

You can skip it just as easily on the Escapist player.

I tried using the site a few times and I couldn't resize the player. It was glitchy in other ways, too. I haven't tried since their rebuild.

Resident Evil 2 (Zero Punctuation)

Obligatory, "So he liked it then," comment aside, I do see Yahtzee's point here. The game is built on nostalgia, and thus regardless of how well it does the survival, horror, and combat aspects, it's still chained to the same Idiot Plot as the original. I always wondered why nobody else in the entire United States got concerned about being unable to contact anyone in a major city for days or weeks and sent in police and/or the National Guard to check things out.

Obviously, the answer is, "Because we need this game to happen," but it smacks of lazy writing nonetheless.

As popular as the thing is and as much as I do want to play it, the price tag is going to keep me away for a bit.

Edited by Fighteer on Feb 13th 2019 at 12:48:25 PM

I'm honestly not that much of a fan of the new remake. It lacks the camp charm of the original game in favor of being a 100% serious zombie horror game. It's worth it for the Mr. DMX memes though.

there was a quarantine around the city how Leon or Claire got through it in both games is not really expand.

Kingdom Hearts 3 (Zero Punctuation)

So, he finds the plot incomprehensible. Sounds about right. Half the comments are saying, "Yeah, it's crazy," and half are saying, "Well what did you expect playing the third game without playing the first two (or five)?"

His impression of the dialogue was spot on though Kh 3's dialogue as a whole is an improvement over the rest of the series.

"Teaching Facebook to your Grandma Angry" is my new favorite expression

(I also really hope KH 3 actually has a Song of the South and Cool Runnings levels)

Edited by Ghilz on Feb 20th 2019 at 2:21:26 PM

Re: Sident Evil 2 (see what I did there?): The running gag with the neckbeard had me in stitches. Good review, though.

Re: Kingdom Hearts 3: Man, I never expected he'd review it. A few of his complaints are answered by the rest of the franchise (every other game deals with non-Pixar films, for instance, and the plot is... somewhat more understandable if you've played the other eight games), but it's a fair enough shake and if anything less lapidary than I'd expect from Yahtzee (unlike some other Youtube game critics that spring to mind). His impression of the dialogue was hilariously spot-on too, I've just become inured through a decade and a half of this franchise. Oh, and he quit before shit got real incomprehensible with the end.

Why do all the Kingdom Hearts games have Word Salad Titles anyway?

Given what the plot is like it'd be weird if they didn't. And there's coded

That dialogue impression was so spot on it had me .

Now I'm tempted to watch some L Ps just to see if the dialog really is that bad.

It kinda is, yeah. Imagine all the unselfconscious cheesiness of both a Disney movie (particularly the less acclaimed one), a JRPG and a shonen anime and you'll have a good notion.

The word salad, I suspect, is just because of the tendency of Japanese content creators to think English just sounds plain cool. All the names do have some sort of meaning, though:

• Chain of Memories: the game deals with memories and how they link with each other to construct a person's past and personality. Gets a namedrop.
• 358/2 Days: probably the most infamous one. It was named that because it takes place over 358 days (a year minus a week, the final week is seen in KHII) over the perspective of two people who exist for that time. It's supposed to be pronounced "Three five eight days over two".
• Birth By Sleep: the most tenuous one, gets a namedrop but doesn't make much sense in context either. It's mainly to do with the game being a prequel to the series serving as an origin story for several antagonists and good guys, and ends with all three main characters in one state of dormancy or another.
• Dream Drop Distance: Obviously just going for the 3D acronym as it's a 3DS game (in the vain of ye olde Super Advance 64 games), but in-game it's a somewhat engrishy way to refer to "how far you fall into your dreams", which fits the game's themes of, well, dreams and being trapped in them.

... you know, I genuinely appreciate that. Neat to hear.

I should play Kingdom Hearts. When I bought my second PS 3 off of eBay, there happened to be a KH disc in there.

It's easier than ever. There's several collections (for PS 4, I believe) that have the entire series, more or less. To be specific, they have the remastered versions of I, Chain of Memories), II, Birth By Sleep, Dream Drop Distance, and movies covering Days, coded and Unchained X (the mobile game).

Wait, I thought Recoded was just a remake? What's with the title then?

Edit: Apparently there are two games called KH Coded and KH Recoded with the later being a remake of the former. Talk about confusing.

Edited by storyyeller on Feb 21st 2019 at 9:55:30 AM

Re:coded is the remake's name. Coded was the original Japanese only mobile game.

Also, the name of coded is because they digitize Jiminy's journal and create a data Sora to explore why the journal has been corrupted.

Edited by tclittle on Feb 21st 2019 at 8:56:08 AM

The original was a Japan-only mobile game, the remake is a DS game. Since only the latter was international to most people that's what they think of when they hear coded.

So out of curiosity, I did start watching an LP of KH 3.

Yes the dialog really is that bad. Half the stuff they say sounds like a parody of My Little Pony and the rest is mind numbingly repetitive.

Also, I can't believe that combat really does involve summoning Disney World rollercoasters. I should know by now that everything Yatzhee says about the games is true, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

Also, why do they keep calling Remy "Little Chef"? Are they not allowed to use his name for some reason?

I found the mentions of Terra confusing, since I kept assuming it was Terra from FF 6, but apparently this Terra is a guy.

Also, the cutscene where Mickey recaps the plot to Riku is supposed to explain the story to new players I guess, but it really just makes the whole thing sound ridiculous. So this dude got betrayed by his student and split into two. One of the pieces stayed in the present and founded an organization to find 13 bodies for himself. The other half went into the past from where he traveled back into the future to found another organization that does the same thing which for some reason gets called "the real organization". And that's just all I can remember from before it got too confusing and silly.

Edited by storyyeller on Feb 23rd 2019 at 9:15:35 AM

Is that what it's supposed to be?

I've always called it "358 Half-Days", assuming the meaning to be that it's a story told over the course of 358 days from the perspective of Org. XIII. We were told in KHII that each "Nobody" in the Organization is basically a soulless husk, each one having lost their "Heart" and thus a key fragment of their identity and emotional capacity.

Since it's a story fleshing out the half-people over the course of 358 days, I figured the title signified that it was 358 half-days.

It also serves as an origin story for the main franchise's hero and villain, Sora and Xehanort. By game's end, Terra's possession results in the creation of the villains Ansem and Xemnas from the first two games, while Ventus's connection with Sora allows him to take up the Keyblade and become the hero despite never formally having such a weapon passed on to him.

Kingdom Hearts, as a franchise, is Born by Terra and Ventus's Sleep.

Remy doesn't speak. In the original film Linguini calls him Little Chef since there's no way for him to communicate his name, and so does every other human that learns about him. That seems to have been kept for this incarnation. And yes, the details aren't exactly right but the story is actually that convoluted. It helps to have been there as it was being told rather than having it dumped all at once, though.

Yeah, I was trying not to get too in-depth. That way lies discussion of the metaphysical mechanics behind Roxas and Namine's existence, or put another way, madness.