Dwarf Fortress

Use goblin bones to make bolts so you can shoot sieges with their fallen dead.

"Never let the truth get in the way of a good story." Twitter

That's the funny thing— my fortress has been around for nearly 10 years, has accumulated over 1000000☼ in wealth, but has never seen a single goblin.

Are you in a location that gets goblins?

Not nearly a good enough singer for the Choir Invisible, and the Basement Room With A Synth Invisible is much less prestigious.

Apparently not. Haven't seen any elves, either— just the dwarven liason, the annual human caravan, and a kobold every few months or so.

Oh, that's probably because you've embarked in a remote island.

You could always check your neighbors before embarking by hitting tab a few times on the embark screen. If any overground civ is accessible via land or ice, they can and will "visit" you no matter how far you are.

Exceptions are Necro Towers. You need to be somewhat close to them to be your neighbors.*

Needs more gunslinging bunnies. <><

Well, I didn't generate that large of a world. As far as I'm aware, it's all on one continent.

On a random note, here are the Forgotten Beasts that have appeared in the vast, currently locked-off cavern:
- Lim Adagrulush ("Soakedsplashed"). A giant mite. Three-eyed, five-legged. Took down a few civilians and a marksdorf. Status: DEAD.
- Thora Sleponengo ("Gristlesucked"). Another giant mite. Only killed a marksdorf. (Who was apparently named Sibrek Daggerstroke, which is an awesome name. Bastard.) Status: DEAD.
- Taba Tabadirlu ("the Sprayed Drink"). A quadruped (quintuped?) composed entirely of mud, with one right leg, four left legs, and a trunk. No kills. (Sucker.) Status: DEAD.
- Corowa Aranivilela ("Dustphantom"). A gigantic skinless panda twisted into humanoid form. (Ew.) I'm hesitant to send my militia after it, because it apparently has deadly blood. Status: still lurking the caverns.
- One Nelara Nula ("the Tomb of Burials"). A gigantic feathered earthworm. Another one I'm hesistant to pursue, in this case because of its poisonous vapors. Status: still lurking the caverns.

edited 12th Mar '12 9:43:56 AM by Blueeyedrat

Maybe goblins just got wiped out?

I just got my first siege (at 200+ dwarves; took them long enough) but all they did was slaughter the dwarven caravan and flee.

Not nearly a good enough singer for the Choir Invisible, and the Basement Room With A Synth Invisible is much less prestigious.

Okay, it seems sir Nelara Nula just busted up the pump stack I took an in-game year to build. For this, it dies.

At least, it would if it would COME OUT OF THE WATER AND FIGHT LIKE A DWARF, YOU PANSY-ASS WORM

edited 12th Mar '12 10:06:12 AM by Blueeyedrat

Maybe everybody is very far from you. When ambushes / traders will arrive depends on how far you are from them.

Also about One Nelara Nula, try to give him a path to a door or a statue. All BD2s are enticed by destroyable buildings, in fact, they will sometimes try to path to them before even considering attacking your dwarves.*

Addendum: Oh, and keep your Hospital ready for the poison.

edited 12th Mar '12 10:28:06 AM by jcruz

Needs more gunslinging bunnies. <><

I think the bottom pump being wrecked was my fault. I kind of sucked it in when I was pumping. What's more, it hasn't moved from its spot ever since then— I don't know if it's stuck or if it's waiting for someone to go down and rebuild the pump.

I'll try a statue as bait, though. I will have to deal with a troll and a giant cave swallow in the vicinity first, but my blade traps should make short work of them. What's your airspeed velocity now, bitch?

<><

Zero, he's dead.

Come on its not that hard.

"Tyyr's a necessary evil. " Spirit

Seconding the

edited 12th Mar '12 11:36:39 AM by fishsicles

Not nearly a good enough singer for the Choir Invisible, and the Basement Room With A Synth Invisible is much less prestigious.

Killed the troll, chased the cave swallow up to the surface and off of the map, and caught One Nelara Nola in the engine room at the top of the pump stack. Kept getting caught in its own cloud of gas, but a single untrained miner managed to hold it off for a good while before the cavalry arrived. It didn't kill any dorfs directly, but its gases stunk up most of the hallways and killed four dwarves via suffocation or infection, including that miner and my veteran manager. Dammit, Kûbuk, I had big plans for ya.

EDIT: It seems Corowa finally engaged my armada as well. A barrage of melee strikes and crossbow bolts brought it down. Now to see if the wounded can survive the aftermath.

edited 12th Mar '12 12:54:20 PM by Blueeyedrat

I am now certain my Master-in-numerous-social-skills Legendary-Appraiser of a Broker is a vampire.

Now, to figure out how to construct an isolated trade depot so I can make use of her without further dead legendary miners.

Not nearly a good enough singer for the Choir Invisible, and the Basement Room With A Synth Invisible is much less prestigious.

@Blueeyedrat: You mind if I put that on the quote page?

Thank you for linking to that, now I must make some kitten-powered dwarven drop pods.

<><

Oh twisted gods of fun, a forgotten beast composed of flame that shoots fireballs around. Right now my lowest cavern is ablaze, while my dwarves are very glad they had that drawbridge installed.

Not nearly a good enough singer for the Choir Invisible, and the Basement Room With A Synth Invisible is much less prestigious.

T'would be an honor.

Anyway, it seems those FBs left my fortress with a rather nasty infection. I've managed to contain the miasma, but the illness already taken out another manager, my legendary weaponsmith, several children, and several cats (good riddance). I've also noticed a few children have gone pale— please tell me that's just the infection; I don't want to deal with another vampire. Morale is dropping faster than I can produce alcohol. My dorfs are starting to tantrum again (most importantly, my medical staff) and I've already had a couple go berserk and be put down. Everybody calm the fuck down. I got this.

O yeah. Now there's a point in making all those Leather Robes again.

Oh Toady, you're such a compassionate and loving person.

By the way he mentioned stacking in the Devlog. Does this mean that we might see re-stacking items soon? Or that might just mean that multiple items were just dropped on the same tile when he was unequipping clothes / chopping limbs off.

Needs more gunslinging bunnies. <><

Oh god. If the clothing bug finally gets fixed, the biggest killer of my forts (some ass claiming the stuff in crucial doors and refusing to put it in his closet and jamming it open) will be gone.

This is a signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

You cut off the best part of the second quote:

Oh yeah! I forgot about that.

I wonder if those debug buttons will be usable on the next release. If it did, it'll presumably be in Arena Mode.

Needs more gunslinging bunnies. <><

A less noticed change in 2012: most of the potentially offensive words were removed from the in-game languages, because Toady realized there's almost nowhere they show up that isn't stupid. Looks like the "Funniest Names" thread won't be quite as funny from now on.