Defiler of Shops
>FILM with iPHONE for later use as AMUSING VIDEO GAME SPARTA REMIX.
Sadly, you don't even have a CELLPHONE.
Soul is ugly.
Fwomph
> Cringe at own Incredibly Lame Pun
> Assemble gun compatable with MAGAZINE out of random objects
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
Defiler of Shops
> Assemble gun compatable with MAGAZINE out of random objects
You also are not a FIREARM ENGINEER.
>PIZZA: Be MADE already!
A BORED YOUNG ADULT EMPLOYEE delivers the PIZZA to your TABLE. It looks DELICIOUS. You take a PIZZA SLICE... AND EAT IT! Omnomnomnomnnomnnomnnommonpokemon
Soul is ugly.
HIP HOP HIPSTER
> Save some PIZZA for LATER
> Return to your DWELLINGS
Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
Gristknife
>Order XBOX 360 online to round out your CONSOLE COLLECTION.
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
>SELECT SUPER-ULTRA-SUPERFAST SHIPPING on the SHIPPING LIST OF WAYS TO SHIP.
>EXAMINE SHELF NEAR TELEVISION.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
HIP HOP HIPSTER
> PLAY your PS 3
Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
>Get BORED of VALKYRIA CHRONICLES, which you have been playing for four hours. Fire up NO MORE HEROES 2.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
>REALIZE you've been playing until 2AM. GO TO PERFECTLY GOOD BED and SLEEP.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Gristknife
>ADDENDUM TO PREVIOUS COMMAND: W/ WIFE.
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
>IGNORE her attempts at CANOODLING. BLAME INSOMNIA.
edited 7th Nov '10 7:40:35 PM by vaguelyyaoilookingcatboy
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Ghosts' Poet
> Smoke AFTERSEX CIGARETTE despite not having sex.
you'll then have a grave in the clouds where you won't lie too cramped
Fwomph
> Open ERRANTS DIARY to page 13
> Remember that the only reason you have this diary belonging to ERRANT is because it was handed down to you by your grandfather BORIS
edited 7th Nov '10 7:52:22 PM by Pentigan
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
>DROP ERRANT'S JOURNAL carelessly.
>SLEEP, realizing you have to be up at 7:00AM tomorrow, and that it's 3:30AM right now.
>WIFE begins to SNORE IRRITATINGLY.
edited 7th Nov '10 7:47:38 PM by vaguelyyaoilookingcatboy
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
> Save some PIZZA for LATER
> Return to your DWELLINGS
After paying $5 and placing the PIZZA in HAMMERSPACE, you get in your PERFECTLY GOOD CAR and drive HOME.
>Order XBOX 360 online to round out your CONSOLE COLLECTION.
Ah yes, XBOX 360 has that knew KINETICS thing and it sounds really COOL. Plus, if you order it withing the nest 15 MINUTES, you get it FREE, even with SHIPPING and KENKEN. You go ONLINE to a GAME STOP and go to XBOX 360.
>SELECT SUPER-ULTRA-SUPERFAST SHIPPING on the SHIPPING LIST OF WAYS TO SHIP.
Might as well take the FASTER THAN LIGHT TRAVEL OPTION if it's FREE. You hear a DOORBELL.
>Do a bunch of STUFF related to GAMING, your WIFE, and ERRANT'S JOURNAL
You sure do ALL THAT STUFF, and then unpacking your XBOX 360 and KINDLE, or as the BOX says, KINECT. You then SLEEP. Also, the LETTER on PAGE 13 of ERRANT'S JOURNAL was just a RECIPE for CLOCK SOUP.
>Be PERFECTLY GOOD CAR
You are HENRY'S PERFECTLY GOOD CAR, DESCENDANT of GERTRUDE. How that works, you don't work. You're sitting in the GARAGE with no LIGHT. You're BORED.
- Name: Perfectly Good Car
- Class: Perfectly Good Car
- Race: Automobile
- Stats:
- You're a car, numbnuts! You don't have stats!
- Passive Abilities
- PERFECTLY GOOD: You win every CAR SHOW ever.
- Weaknesses
- PARTY ANIMAL: No FUN or THINGS TO DO make PERFECTLY GOOD CAR somethin somethin. Go CRAZY? DON'T MIND IF I DO!
- NOT ALIVE: You're not even a ROBOT or anything. Why do you have a CONSCIOUS?
- Money: $1.72 in LOOSE CHANGE.
edited 7th Nov '10 8:34:49 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>ATTEMPT SENTIENCE.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
>ATTEMPT SENTIENCE.
You kind of already are SENTIENT, just not ALIVE, don't ask how THAT works either.
>CRASH THROUGH GARAGE DOOR
You REVERSE a few feet... GO! You hit the GARAGE DOOR FULL BLAST and knock it at THE HACKLEBERS' WINDOW, breaking it. You are going to PARTY TONIGHT.
Soul is ugly.
>DRIVE through nearest MINI-MALL in an AMUSING ODE TO THE BLUES BROTHERS
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Ghosts' Poet
> Win every CAR SHOW ever made in order to increase LOOSE CHANGE
you'll then have a grave in the clouds where you won't lie too cramped
HIP HOP HIPSTER
> PARTY like a ROCK STAR
Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
Fwomph
> Very Antique Grandfather Clock: Wish for someone to use you in an OVERCLOCK aggression again...
> PERFECTLY GOOD CAR: Decide on a name to call yourself. Drive into the light of the full moon. Feel the power of your ancestors Were-Horseness come into effect.
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
Defiler of Shops
>DRIVE through nearest MINI-MALL in an AMUSING ODE TO THE BLUES BROTHERS
You don't like the BLUES, but you drive into a MINI-MALL anyways. EVERYONE is freaking out and calling the COPS. There are EIGHTY CAR SHOWS going on now.
> Win every CAR SHOW ever made in order to increase LOOSE CHANGE
You do, and win $8,000 in TOTAL.
> PARTY like a ROCK STAR
You drive into a nearby CLUB and everyone starts DANCING on you.
> Very Antique Grandfather Clock: Wish for someone to use you in an OVERCLOCK aggression again...
You haven't been HAPPY at all since BORIS died. But you feel as if you'll be a MINOR CHARACTER.
> PERFECTLY GOOD CAR: Decide on a name to call yourself. Drive into the light of the full moon. Feel the power of your ancestors Were-Horseness come into effect.
PERFECTLY GOOD CAR IS your NAME! You exit the CLUB and go into an OPEN ROAD. You transform into a HELICOPTER. Sweet!
- Name: Perfectly Good Car
- Class: Werecar
- Race: Automobile
- Stats:
- You're a car, numbnuts! You don't have stats!
- Passive Abilities
- PERFECTLY GOOD: You win every CAR SHOW ever.
- Weaknesses
- PARTY ANIMAL: No FUN or THINGS TO DO make PERFECTLY GOOD CAR somethin somethin. Go CRAZY? DON'T MIND IF I DO!
- NOT ALIVE: You're not even a ROBOT or anything. Why do you have a CONSCIOUS?
edited 8th Nov '10 3:15:18 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>TRANSFORM into RACIST STEREOTYPE MECH.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
>FILM with iPHONE for later use as AMUSING VIDEO GAME SPARTA REMIX.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.