I'm a little afraid about having written a Spotlight-Stealing Squad (spoilers for Fate/stay night UBW!)

I've been for sometime writing (or rather, attempting to) a little Fate fic and there's this prologue at a part 3 on one of 3 routes where I switch POV to Shirou and Rin, investigating a mysterious Magus doing shit. Then he laughs because he didn't expect them and basically grabs a sample of Shirou's powers for a plan, later revelead to be another HGW (the prologue is a flashback).

My plan basically was to show and deconstruct an old meme from the last episode of the UBW anime. The last scene was Shirou on a desert, implying that he would save people in some Middle Eastern country, like Archer once had. The prologue starts with Tohsaka and Shirou from there.

And well, after reading about how Oath Under Snow Shirou was a SSS, I became very concerned because I´m afraid in my story they might be getting too much attention and I pulled another OUS, even though the main story is about another Grail War with another set of characters. This prologue is not action-filled like Oath Under Snow, but I still dedicate some time to them and it's probably the longest of these prologues.

But, I also want them to interview the survivors at the epilogue of this story and I don't want take focus and characterization out of the other characters.

Pls help me because I'm getting a little anxious xD

My best advice is this

"When writing a story, pick a Verse, and then use your own OCs when writing a story in it foremost."

That way, there's no way one can go out of character like with established ones.

While it may be easier to use original characters, I do think that canon ones can work, too.

As to the question of a Spotlight Stealing Squad, why is it that you think that your specific execution of the character will develop the same issue as did the execution of the character in the other work that you mentioned? After all, I presume that your narrative focus, plot, and character-handling are likely to be different.

However, if you're worried, my best suggestion is to put your work in front of some readers and find out whether the character has indeed become once again a Spotlight Stealing Squad. It may be that the problem has manifested in your take on the character, and it may be that it hasn't—but we're not likely to have a good idea of which is true until it's tested, I feel.

(Have I used this arrow correctly?) You haven't read or watched Fate/Prisma Illya? In case you haven't:

Oath Under Snow is basically a really long flashback of the verse's Shirou fighting to save Miyu. But it's not a spin-off or anything: it's takes about 8 manga chapters/ an anime movie or so before it returns to the main story (the movie though does seem like a spin-off). The rest of 3rei continues on with Illya and Co as main protagonists; but I´m still a little anxious after having read of how he hogs attention.

So in my own story, it's also true that most of the Grail War story unravels around my OG Masters plus a canon one (and the Servants too, of course), and I feel like I´m repeating the same thing.

Sometimes I seriously think about sending what I've written so far to someone too.

Then I guess according to your advice I shouldn't worry. Still...

If you were replying to me, then yes, you have. ^_^

Based on your descriptions, the two stories seem different to me: "Oath Under Snow" seems to revolve around Shirou, while yours does not.

However, even if that were not so, that doesn't mean that because the character was a Spotlight Stealing Squad in that work that they'll be so too in your work.

Two different executions may lead to two very different outcomes.

Maybe it's worth thinking more seriously about it? ;P

The thing is, in this one the main-ish protagonist is a girl supposed to be a deliberate Expy of Shirou (partially), so I´m afraid the real Shirou and Tohsaka in my story will get more attention and thus will be even more blatant, kinda like what happened with Oath Under Snow. I want them to be some of the closest characters to a Greater-Scope Paragon or a Big Good, but no more.

Like, I don't mind if it turns into a little Nested Story, the full story is kinda long already; just that it doesn´t happen like in OAU where they draw too much attention from the OCs. Or maybe OAS Shirou just happened to be more popular, idk. But the SSS is supposed to be more objetive not YMMV (though the YMMV page for Prisma Illya does say it doesn't last too long).

As for sending it for a check: I wanted to keep things secret and I don't even know how to send it to you xD. I know it won't be the fic of the century (just with being good, entertaining and that who ever reads it will like is enough for me), plus what I've written so far is quite sparse and disconnected.

Edited by syncsns on Feb 10th 2022 at 4:01:16 PM

But as I said, this is a matter of execution; it's not a matter concept.

The fact that one work produced a "spotlight stealing squad" in a given character doesn't necessarily imply that another work using that character will produce the same effect. Even if those two works share similar concepts.

I would say that sometimes it's worth revealing a few secrets to a few people in order to get feedback on your work.

Feedback can be invaluable, I feel, and, as long as you don't send your work out to your entire audience, you may well still have some people remaining to surprise.

To clarify, I wasn't suggesting that you send it to me! ^^;

My apologies if I gave the impression that I did so suggest!

Rather, I'd suggest sending it to someone who you trust and are comfortable with, and whose opinion as a reader you respect.

In that case, I'd suggest that you simply let your beta-reader know that the piece is a work-in-progress, and what specific feedback you're after.

But if your work is still so nascent, then it may well be too early to tell if the character will become a "spotlight staling squad"!

Well, that's true. I also forgot to add that my story isn't just about this character but switches POV to the other characters as well: that's what I meant with main-ish protagonist.

Probably you haven't watched/read it but it's similar to Fate/Zero xD, so I also try to balance focus (characterization and powers) for the others. This prologue does a take a while, since it's the prologue to a Part/Act 3 (just this story in total has like 174 pages so far lol).

Dunno, in case it helps.

Edited by syncsns on Feb 10th 2022 at 4:19:46 PM

Well, that may make it less likely that you'll end up with a "spotlight stealing squad", I imagine.

You're correct: I haven't! XD

Again, that's encouraging, I do think!

I suppose let me add this: Nothing that you've posted here leads me to think that there's any real likelihood of the character in question becoming a "spotlight stealing squad".

Good to know then. Thanks.

I hope that it has helped! ^_^