My Villain Academy

Torin's strategy was one that lacked a lot of finesse. It lacked a lot of creativity and a lot of potential. But then again, Torin...didn't bother with any of that artistic crap. He wasn't going to come up with creative ways of blowing up the monsters, punching the monsters...anything like that. He was a fighter. A bruiser. The more he hurt, the better he felt.

And frankly, at this point in his life, he felt no pain and it was such a euphoric feeling.

His strategy had ultimately boiled down to "smack them down as hard as you can until you feel something pop under your knuckles.". It wasn't a great, pretty looking strategy but it was his dammit.

The arrival of the Bio-mimes caught his attention and he gave an annoyed growl.

Mimes? Clowns? This really was a villain again. So, perhaps it was a good time to show off some new techniques. Reaching behind him, he grabbed an approaching Clown in the Rune-hand and let it fill with the mystical eldritch energies.The clown twitched for a moment before it went still, as the crackling purple lines began to fill ITS body as well, moving from the head where it was gripped and moving down the length of its form.

"Fire in the hole!" He shouted to his companions, a sign for them to get the fuck out of the way as he threw the crackling form towards the largest cluster of Bio-Mimes...and once it landed, or struck anything stupid enough to get in its way, it exploded in a cloud of crackling purple mystical energy.

He liked making things bombs. He liked making LIVING things bombs.

This was a fun practice.

The Room

“This is incredibly inefficient!” Elisabella called out over the din, actually sounding somewhat indignant for the first time. “Solve the puzzles as instructed and we'll have an easier– oh, screw it...” she murmured, glancing over to the one resembling a Rubik's Cube before returning her attention to the new set of clowns in a huff.

She really wanted to see them solved as well.

The Bio-Mimes weren't too hard for her considering they shouted every single attack they were going to make, but she still had to hop from table to table a bit as her skin whips blurred at lightning speeds.

“Are you absolutely sure they're about to run out? There may be a country's worth of a mutant circus troupe outside for all we know,” she called out again—her tone now resembling sarcasm. “Oh for goodness sake– why do you clowns have to make this so difficult...?”

She threw herself into the fight with even greater fury, skewering one of the mimes on a knotted spear of skin before slamming him repeatedly into the floor and eventually tearing him apart entirely as she untangled the thing from his insides. That was her frustration dealt with at least. That and the remaining parts could be used to blind her further targets.

She threw a table for good measure.

Teachers Lounge-Villain Academy

"So, what do you think of our newest students?" the synthesized voice of Broker rang out across the meeting table, where the staff of the Villain Academy sat with their drinks of choice while watching the live broadcast.

"Bit silly going to look for a way out innit?" Pact took a sip of coffee and watched some of the battles. "As if we wouldn't plan for them to try and break out, the cheeky buggers."

Jack Anarchy glared at the woman from across the table. "I think it shows out of the box thinking, through given that you colonial heathens just copy whatever you want and call it a masterpiece shows how creatively bankrupt you are."

"Do you need to be pulled apart again?" Phantom looked across the Leech, who was eyeing some of the students with an almost hungry gaze.

Herr Doktor simply laughed. "Such spirit, I believe this might be the best batch of test sub-students. Test...students." he clapped his hands together. "I think our investors have seen enough dearest Broker, the kinder have performed their job."

Broker drummed his holographic fingers against the table, turning to look at the hundred of other shadow screens. Across the worlds various villains, criminal organizations, and some high ranking members of various countries were observing the test. The first impression of these students was the most important, and no doubt some of them were already putting aside money so that they could support their choices.

"It would seem so, then I think it is time to reward their efforts."

White Room

All at once the water that had been draining down from the roof stopped, and in fact seemed to drain into small holes that opened along the floor, with the few Bio-Mimes and Clowns that had been left alive by the onslaught falling to the ground as if someone had cut the strings of a puppet. "Death Trap Test Complete, congratulations." the simulated womans voice that had counted them down to the 'test' rang out once more, followed by a triumphant chime.

The students would have a few seconds to rest before a section of the floor dipped down, rising after a second with a figure who was familiar to each of them.

"Well then, I suppose it would be best if I explained." The Saint, top ranked hero in the entire world smiled toward the villains to be from the center of the room, before laughing as his body drained away to reveal a rather portly middle aged man in a worn suit. "I kid of course, that sort of twist is a bit too unbelievable."

Shapesmith- Villain Rank D

"You've done well students, each and everyone of you passed on your own merits. Through puzzle solving, teamwork, and sheer ability you have each displayed a reason for the Academy to invest in you. I believe even the Broker might have been on the edge of their seat." he walked over to the edge of the room and tapped on the walls. "Now then, as a reward let me tell you a quick story. Long ago people believed that all justice, good, and virtue in the world came from the sun, as its light was radiance personified." the white screens that made up the room began to flicker for a moment, until they finally gave way to clear glass.

"So then, any guesses on where evil must lay?" through the glass the other students would be able to see the Moon before them, with the Earth becoming smaller as they moved. The surface of the moon seemed to shift for a moment, revealing a skull like building. "Welcome to Villain Academy." the portly man gave a bow, through it wasn't exactly graceful. "We will be landing in about ten or so minutes, feel free to talk among yourselves. I am sure after having struggled against such odds you might have found a new sense of appreciation for one another. This is far from the last death trap you will see in the academy but I find the first is rather thrilling."

Chapter 2: I heard that evil comes from the moon

Notes: The Simulated Death Trap event is now passed, which means this is a good time for characters to interact with each other now that they have gotten to see a bit more of each other.

The Ship

Elisabella blinked blandly at the sight of the ‘Saint’, but her gaze became half-lidded again once he revealed himself. She'd had a feeling, but still. Disappointing. Didn't even let it sink in that long.

But nonetheless, it looked like they were on a ship. She'd always wanted to see space.

And just as she'd hoped, it was beautiful.

“It was decent,” Elisabella shrugged, letting her skin weave itself back into place around her and wiping parts of herself free of organic gunk. “A little sloppily done, I must admit. Did you all chime in for that? Would explain why.”

She picked up a slightly battered chair and plonked herself down on it; clasping her hands in front of her as she smiled ‘sweetly’ at the others.

“Well, you heard the man. Woman. Sexless blob thing. They're a shapeshifter so really anything goes. But in any case, wow. You truly showed your worth back there. I've never seen such... such efficiency and... and splendor. Truly marvellous. Have a present.”

A Rubik's Cube was thrown towards one of their foreheads. She didn't care who.

“You've earned it. Ooh, look. Martian.”

Daniel – The Aftermath

Oh my. A shapeshifter. Maybe Lord Dédrome would like to have one of those in his army.

Also, the choice of placing the Academy on the moon is a clever one. If it was on Earth, the heroes, vigilantes, autorities etc. would have found it and neutralized it.

Hopefully, any Myjtridan ship won't stumble upon this Academy. It would be...unfortunate to have Father know that he is interacting with other people when he should be trying to make some super-powered soldiers...

   This trap was not too shabby. It may be just me, but I've really got the thrills for the chills and dangers...   , Daniel said to the Shapesmith.

   Thank you, Ms. Hutchinson   , the hooded teen curtsied.    You weren't half-bad either...   

Sage Miller, The Mad Artificer

"We..."

Sage couldn't quite enunciate properly. Not with the way she was grinning ear to ear with a manically unhinged look on her face.

"W-w-w-we're..."

She tried again.

"WE'RE..."

"We're going to the mooooooooooooooooooooon!!" she ultimately shrieked in complete and utter joy, throwing both her hands up into the air. Then she broke down in tears, putting both her hands on the glass and giggling to herself.

Behind her, the terminal that she had to input code into (with several mistakes) suddenly fizzled and went dark, wires popping.

Arakawa Rin, Start A New Chapter With A :|

So, that was it then? Rin watched the fake Saint explain the situation with a look of someone who expected to be disappointed. A single swing of her blade later to get the clown-mime ichor off, Sensou was back in its sheath. Sheer ability, huh? It sounded like most of them were going to pass either way. Then the walls revealed what was around them and, for a moment, Arakawa was caught off guard.

I could have gotten all of us killed, she thought before dismissing that notion with a shake of her head, catching the Rubik's Cube out of instinct. Rin stared at it for a moment, then back to the one who threw it. Resisting an urge to either hurl it back at the skin whip girl or to crush the cube to powder, she just put it back at the table. "I don't know if this is cowardly or ingenious to have us on the Moon." She muttered after a moment, seating herself on the floor again with a deep breath.

She needed a moment to calm down, especially to even out Sage's enthusiasm.

Eva was ready for shit to get talked, and she had a prepped response. She pulled a dog treat out of her own pocket and threw it back at Elisabella. "It's a lair fit for us." She said. She was definitely concerned about maybe being able to leave this place, but see that was only contingent on her ever needing to flee this place. If things went poorly she could of course take this whole place for herself. Provided she had some kobolds of her own. She gave Rin a tap on the shoulder. "You did really well, Rin, and I'm looking forward to working with you."

The Ship

“Oh I'm not insulting your skills. You're exceptional fighters. It's the tactics I take issue with. Inefficient. And now that we know we're in a ship probably lethal. But that's in the past,” Elisabella shrugged—her skin unravelling for but a moment to catch the dog treat and pop it into her mouth.

“And if you're unsure, settle on a compromise. ‘Ingeniously cowardly’, for example,” she suggested through her crunching of the thing. Issuing a slight grimace at the taste, she elected to distract herself by picking up the Rubik's Cube again—beginning to flick through it as she took her seating position once more.

“You'd think even if they don't care for our wellbeing they'd try and avoid destruction of their undoubtedly expensive vessel... but I suppose if they could gather up our dead bodies from space and sell them on the black market, they'd get a profit anyhow.”

The Ship

Lillian sat next to Rin. "I've seen that look before. On the face of people who made tactical decisions which ended up being the wrong call due to unknown information." She said softly.

"And that's never easy. One cannot be totally blameless for the risk presented by those mistakes. Yet at the same time there is no way to avoid them at the time. Perhaps all the relief you can take from this is you are not the only one who attempted the same thing. And perhaps the only lesson we all learned is to be more patient in the future."

The Ship

And they don't stop comin' and they don't stop comin' and they- oh shit we're done.

The added presence of the mimes hadn't so much as registered to Charlie. At some point he'd just tuned out the rest of the world in favor of gorging himself on clown flesh. He'd even shifted his legs to act sort of like strainers, pulling the toxins out of the water - not out of concern for his comrades, but simply primal hunger - only for the water to drain away.

He snapped back to reality, excess biomass sloughing off of him as he became cognizant of how overstuffed he was. Rolling his shoulder, he let his armor fade away, shifting back into civilian clothes, and running a hand through his hair to make sure it was in order.

"Well shit, we're in space. Broker don't fuck around." Charlie whistled at the sight. Then his eyes flicked over to Miss Skin Ribbon. "Yo, it's Liz, yeah? Anyone ever tell you you're a bitch?"

Maybe insulting his classmates wasn't the best way to start things off, but on the other hand, villains gonna villain.

The Room

“I like ‘Lizzie’. And yes. Many a time, and worse. They stopped after a while. The reactions weren't sufficient enough for their tastes. All but confirmed it, really.”

Blank eyes looked up at him for a moment, and then back down at the puzzle in her hands.

“Manwhore.”

Annnd there went her life. Ah well. He deemed it appropriate to insult her, so she went and did it right back. Maybe they could even have an insult battle. If nothing else it'd provide intellectual relaxation for a change. Spouting increasingly worse remarks at each other sounded quite exhilarating.

“Don't tell me I've offended you with that. Consider it training. School of villains and all. Prepare for the worst and you won't be surprised. Well... not worst worst. I have some things I'd rather not do,” she shrugged—glancing over at him and then at the rest of them.

“Oh. Are you upset at me?”

Edited by Enirboreh on Mar 3rd 2019 at 3:58:30 PM

The Ship

"Manwhore, huh? Eh, you're not wrong." Charlie merely shrugged in response, though he was amused by her comeback. "Though I ain't the type to get offended. Sticks and stones and shit, y'know?"

He inched closer to her, accentuating the height difference between them - Charlie generally kept himself at around 6'4", but in preparation for villain school he'd made himself even taller, for the intimidation factor - and giving her a shit-eating grin. "Protip, though: you really wanna insult someone though, it helps to have feeling behind it. So you ever wanna really feel something, ya robot, let me know and I'll give you something you really feel."

He winked, making it unclear whether his words were supposed to be a threat or a pickup line.

Daniel – Towards the Moon

Daniel's grin widened as Charlie started calling 'Bella a "bitch". He also restraining himself from laughing when 'Bella called him a "manwhore".

   Wow...Charlie! I didn't know you had feelings for this..."robot". Are you going to give her a big hug? Are you going to kiss her?   , Daniel sounded mockingly airheaded and dumb.

The Ship

“I'll keep that in mind,” Elisabella replied in a blank tone of voice, momentarily shifting her attention from the puzzle up to Charlie. Her face twisted into an expression grotesque; her whole form trembling with barely suppressed animosity as she snarled with so much ferocity she was practically frothing at the mouth.

“Pitiful cretin.”

She relaxed again in an instant, clearing her throat as she rubbed at her larynx absently.

“Would that do? I'm out of practice, see.”

She placed the cube down with a smile, standing up to face him as she delicately put her hand up to his face and leaned in as far as her (comparatively) diminutive stature would allow for her to whisper to him.

“Keep trying, big boy.”

She let her smile linger even as she turned away; a mild sashay to her hips apparent as she seated herself back down again.

“We'll just have to see, won't we?” she called out in reply to Daniel for good measure.

Edited by Enirboreh on Mar 4th 2019 at 1:33:36 PM

Arakawa Rin Doesn't Need Your Pity

She shrugged off the drake's pat with a mild scoff. "Do not praise the fool, or they shall endeavor to top their previous exploits." Really, as far as Rin was concerned, Eva was just trying to butter her up. Like any school, this was a hub of social interactions, and having some people on your side made things easier for you. "Nor should the fool be pitied." Lillian's words seemed to rankle her more than the "good work" from the drake Mastermind.

"I do not belong here, but perhaps that's why I must pass this final test." She had a couple of reasons to be upset about, namely the realization of her own inadequacy. Her usual enemies were below her. Even if they could wield a sword half-decently, the sheer force of her swings was enough to shatter their paltry katanas. They weren't supernatural and if they were, it hardly mattered. The supremacy of Shuten-Douji Consortium, ironically, made her weak.

"You're annoying." She glowered at Daniel from her seat. The "manwhore" seemed to be a typical alpha male, with all the subtlety of an oni, but this one seemed to take pleasure in taking cheap and obvious shots at others. "You'll have to work on your quips. Or shut up, ideally." The whip girl seemed to be having fun with the alpha male, so at least that wasn't too much of an issue.

"Hey, a lot of people get called fools the first time they try something." Eva replied softly. "I got here because I kidnapped a Dark Bank shareholder's kid. If we played things safe and normal and uhh, smart," She gave scare quotes around it, "none of us would be here, training to become master criminals."

The Ship

“On the contrary; that's your fault. I'm here by proxy, for instance. Bigger project at play here. Though I don't doubt some of the others are here because of a similar mistake. I'm simply correcting your claim that ‘none’ of us would be here otherwise. It's outlandish.”

Elisabella turned to Rin then, staring at her pointedly.

“Advice: best not dwell on it. You know your mistake, so you're already no fool. Adapt. Improve. Simple. Needn't bother yourself with any of that other nonsense. And it'd help if others didn't harp on and stop you from doing so,” she added with a bit of further weight to her voice, before reverting back to her usual monotone. “Don't misinterpret me. I don't care. Really, I don't. Forgive and forget, I say. Or just forget. But I'd rather this be easy for us as a group if we remained as efficient as possible. If you can respect that.”

Daniel – Towards The Moon

Daniel chuckled a bit.    Heh. I'm sure that he will be really happy for you, especially after you said that...   , he replied to Elisabella.

He listened to Elisabella's reply to Eva. The reason he got contacted here is because he couldn't control his first corruptee. But it doesn't really bother him emotionally and psychologically. People learn from their mistakes. And even though it was a mistake, the havoc that the "monster" has wrecked was wonderful...

   Heheh, if you think that I'm annoying, then I'm sorry...   , he crossed his arms,    ...but I'm sure will be "annoying" for a while, so you'll need to deal with it...   , he replied, deadpan, to Rin.

Edited by Theyja on Mar 4th 2019 at 6:15:11 PM

The Ship

Charlie's eyebrows rose at Lizzie's demonstration.

"Well, if you were going for 'give me a rager' than I'd say mission success. Yowza."

He kept his eyes on her as she sashayed away, now grinning like a loon. He didn't so much as twitch an eye at Daniel's words.

"I was thinking more 'fucking' than hugging, but only if the lady wants. I may be a manwhore but I'm a gentleman manwhore. Gentlemanwhore? I ain't a rapist, is what I'm saying." He was smirking at Daniel now. "I know you're probably still in your 'girls are icky' phase, kid, but you'll be interested in sex when you're older."

Daniel – The Ship

Daniel rolled his eyes at Charlie. Is he one of those nyphomaniac jocks that normally plague your typical American high school?

   Can you please stop being, well, a manwhore? I'm literally inches away from using my vemom to make your loins as flaccid as a noodle   , Daniel deadpanned, as he glared at the Dark Skinned Blonde.

"Ooh, whoof," Eva licked a finger and sarcastically winced. She was trying to have a goddamn moment here, maybe sneak in a humblebrag, only for this to go down too, god. "Careful not to cut yourself on all that edge. You going to school to finance your Crunchyroll subscription? Jesus." She idly wrung out her shirt, a little wet. "Thought I was raised bad, I guess I should thank you goobers for making me feel a little better about my own ability to talk to people."

The Ship

“You're very welcome, person who I've forgotten the name of. You're doing an excellent job,” she distantly replied to Eva, before glancing up at Charlie again.

Tall one's backing his own name. That's helpful. Libido prevailing over common sense. Assumedly. May be smart. Keep cautious.

She let her sight linger on him a little longer, making sure to trail across his body, before flicking her attention back down to the puzzle once more.

“I don't think he's annoying. Quite entertaining, actually. We should keep him. Actually, we should keep everyone. You're all very... nice,” she decided after a brief pause over what word to use. “Rin, dear. You don't hate me, do you? I rather like your company. We should hang out sometime.”

"Oh my god, this is going to drive me up the wall."

Torin didn't speak to anyone in particular, as he was currently sitting as far away from everyone else as he could. He knew in a matter of seconds, any kind of comraderie would be destroyed by some kind of snide statement, as it tended to, and frankly, the further he was away from everyone else, the better.

His constant pain, and the slowly building frustrations of everyone else here trying to out-villain each other, were not to make a good combination, especially when Eldritch lasers were a possibility.

The Ship

Lillian raised an eyebrow. "Pity, is that what you think? No, your efforts are not pitiable. I merely am attempting to build bridges and offer understanding of your situation." She replied with a shrug and a small smile.

The blonde eyed the argument going on among some of the other students. "And to think I used to wonder why villains had not run roughshod over this world. I think the answer grows more apparent by the minute."