Ryan George (Pitch Meetings)

Pirates Of The Caribbean Pitch Meeting

Huh. Surprised that they haven't done this already.

Another episode of that company that named everything.

Pineapple guy has a shirt with Chris Pine on the front. Because of course he does. Okay, and there's Eric Bana. The theme. And a Fourth Wall call-out.

"Blueberry is fine." Yes!

Prometheus Pitch Meeting

Ah yes, the Prometheus School of Running Away From Things that put Cinemasins on the map.

No matter how often I hear this movie summarized it never stops to fascinate me how not a single action anyone takes in this movie makes even the slightest bit of sense.

I am genuinely confused as to what was accomplished or what even happens in this movie.

It feels like literally nothing of note was accomplished.

Prometheus is approximately 90 percent world-building for the Alien cinematic universe that would give us all the other prequel films. The problem is that it feels constrained to follow the exact same formula: a bunch of dipshits find Alien goo and get infected by it.

Even then, the world building is kinda meh and the film can't ever settle on anything. (Why did they make humans? Why do they wanna kill us now?)

Plus saying it follows the formula is insulting to the other alien movies who dont have characters who act like dumbass, or who develop random personality traits which they discard equally randomly. ("I'm a space archeologist terrorized by 1000 year old corpses but also I'm completely unafraid of obviously hostile cobra things")

It feels like each scene was written by a different person and they never talked to each other.

Right!?!?!?!!!!?

If Infomercials Didn't Offer Any Solutions #shorts

Ryan is just trolling us now, I see.

Also, closing lids is tight.

Edited by Fighteer on Feb 18th 2021 at 4:59:11 AM

...That scenario actually has happened to me, so it's already diverging from regular infomercials 3 seconds in.

The First Guy To Ever Wear Contact Lenses

I never got contact lenses. I went straight from looking like an owl to having some man cut my eyes open with a laser.

Transformers Pitch Meeting

Man am I grateful Last Knight bombed.

Took 5 movies but it’s all over now.

I'm sure Michael Bay and Paramount are crying in the piles of money they earned.

I mean. Bumblebee was good and honestly I don't think they would've shifted gears if TLK was the success they expected.

Captain CrossFit Is The Worst Superhero #shorts

That bit about vegans... is so true.

Well yes, those of us with dietary restrictions (and in my case, yes, "vegan") kind of do need to inform ppl of that when we aren't prepping food ourselves.

Goddamn people with peanut allergies telling you they have peanut allergies.

I could just as easily say its the animal-eaters who go around telling you they eat animals.

Or, all the fucking straights forcing their heterosexuality down our throats all over media, think of the children!

Edited by TheAirman on Feb 26th 2021 at 10:15:16 AM

Sorry, "vegan" is not a dietary restriction, it's a choice. Much like gluten-free, there may be some people who have legitimate medical reasons for it, but 99 percent of people who embrace those diets are doing it for other reasons.

Actually, gluten-free diets are a response to a very specific condition known as celiac disease, although as I said most people who follow them are doing it as a fad. Vegan is different. I am not a medical expert but I would really like a citation for a disorder that prevents you from consuming any animal protein.

Regardless, that's not what the video is about. I have never met a vegan who wasn't eager to tell me all about how much healthier it is and how much better they feel. It's the totally unprompted marketing pitch that is being made fun of here.

I am milk protein intolerant and I tell people about it as needed so they know not to serve me milk products. "Vegan" labels are helpful because I know those products won't have milk, but you won't catch me giving someone a sales pitch for the lifestyle.

Edited by Fighteer on Feb 26th 2021 at 11:19:46 AM

I'm sorry you've had that experience.

Mine has been that there are far more people complaining about vegans being assholes, than vegans being assholes. Not every culture has the western concept of "vegan", and I only mention it if relevant to the discussion or event at hand, and if asked politely why I am "vegan" will respond in kind.

Yes, we are all biologically capable of consuming animal-derived products. I consider my "choice" of food to be really no different than say, a Catholic person's "choice" to not eat land-meat on Fridays during Lent, or an Islamic person's "choice" to not eat pork.

So maybe we shouldn't be painting entire groups with the same brush, and if we must, lets not start with a shitty brush?

Edited by TheAirman on Feb 26th 2021 at 10:24:10 AM

Dude, I met a group of raw vegans when I was at an empowerment training course. They were nice people, but boy did they go on about it. For the amount of effort they put into preparing their food and adding amino acid supplements so they didn't waste away from malnutrition, I could play several hours a day of World of Warcraft and consider it the more useful activity.

By the way, it's gauche to be offended when a person whose humor is based on making fun of people makes fun of your specific group.

Edited by Fighteer on Feb 26th 2021 at 11:24:09 AM