Alternate Versus Battles

Rather than just the usual slug-fests (or saying that So-and-So could win solely due to having superpowers), here's how it'll work: I'll suggest a contest of sorts between two characters, and the respondee decides who'd be the likely victor. Then they'll suggest the next contest, and so on.

Let's begin:

• Piloting Contest: Benjamin J. Grimm vs. Hal Jordan; who'll fly it better?

It's probably equal. Maybe Ben, because he doesn't have a Green Lantern ring and thus flies more.

How about Batman VS Doctor Doom in a game of chess?

It's not especially hard to tie in chess (there are only a limited number of outcomes, after all), so probably tie. Unless Doom uses his magic to fudge Bruce's mind or something.

Steve Rogers vs. Clark Kent, writing the Great American Novel.

Well, Clark does the news and has a mobility advantage, so probably him. Steve's only chance is if he does a through the ages type of thing, having been through them.

Megatron vs Death's Head. Who can go the longest without killing something?

Megatron, probably. He just has to aim at plot-relevant characters.

Lady Deathstrike vs. Katana in...Ikebana (traditional Japanese flower arrangement.)

I'll give that to the woman who doesn't have knives coming out of her fingers.

Mary Jane Watson vs Mari Mc Cabe in a Zoolander-style walk off.

Have to give this one to Mary Jane on the count of her being a full time model instead of juggling two careers of model and super hero.

Spider-Man (Peter) vs. Blue Beetle (Ted) in who can out Ditko Roast Each Other.

... given that both characters are canonically extremely irritating (to others stuck in-universe with them, I mean), I suspect that they'd discover that their audience had walked out in annoyance, about ten minutes belatedly.

Then they'd both shrug bemusedly, award the win to each other, and wander off to compete in seeing how many labs they can blow up accidentally (incidentally, Ted canonically has memories of Spidey passing through the DCU and even got a modified copy of his webbing formula, at least according to the rather iffy Extreme Justice series).

Superman vs. Batman in a Pieta-off.

Superman can hold far more people like that, but Batman has more experience, what with all the dead allies and stuff. Hmm.

Superman. The image of him holding several dozen people in that pose is amusing.

Killer Frost vs Mr. Freeze in a hot-sauce-eating contest.

edited 3rd Aug '17 11:38:00 PM by caivu

Frost. She once went for a dip in a volcano.

Jaime Reyes vs Kamala Khan in a game of geek trivia.

That's because Frost is powered by heat, which would do nothing to help her against pepper based condiments, which directly attack mammalian pain receptors.

And I'm giving it to Reyes on account of him being around longer. He should know more, unless he's become a kind of hipster or something who refuses to keep up and all the questions are about new things.

Rena Titañon(Love And Rockets) vs Elicity(Super Pro KO). You're a promoter who is looking for a new wrestler to carry your show. You've discovered two good candidates but your rivals are also bidding for them, so you can't afford them both. Who gets the job?

Okay from what I gather of the two, one is an icon in lucha libre and the other is an up and coming star. As far as booking logic goes, it makes sense to go with the bigger draw and have Rena as my star attraction. However the goal is to find a wrestler to carry the show, in other words the whole promotion; and in the long run developing original talent is better than relying on already established stars so I have to go with Elicity.

In honor of the new Ducktales show and Thor Ragnarok movie who both are more true to the comics they are based on, the following battle is thought up in honor of the REAL stars of the respective works:

Hulk vs. Donald Duck! For who can be the more pissed off contest.

Donald has got nothing on Hulk. The green guy's anger is near infinite.

Human Torch vs Booster Gold for who can rack up the most headlines in the news.

Assuming that Fantastic Four-as-a-group headlines are disallowed for the Torch, Booster Gold at a walk. Johnny's got a strong instinct for headline seeking, and revels in the attention, but I swear that Michael feeds off it. Booster's also got an instinct for it- I'd argue an even better one than the Torch's- that's been honed by years of using shameless self-promotion as the means of generating his living. And Booster, all bumbling aside, is smarter than Johnny (at least as he's usually portrayed).

Fone Bone (Jeff Smith's Bone) vs. Gert Yorkes (Runaways) in a "WTF is wrong with my life?"-off.

Well Gert died pretty early in series to miss all of the weirder crapola the group experienced, so Fone is winner by default. The two sweetest words in the english language!

John Constantine vs. Jessica Jones (most likely the one from the Netflix series) vs. Armstrong vs. Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze) in a drinking contest. Personally I would bet on Armstrong as he literally spent over thousands of years to develop an immunity to the effects of beer.

Ghost Rider would just burn the alcohol when it gets into his mouth, right? So it doesn't even affect him.

Sanji vs. The Denizens of Redwall Abbey in a cookoff.