In a shady boardroom, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, the jarred head of Ronald Reagan, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffet, Jimmy Buffett, Mike Bloomberg, and Taco sit around a table, smoking, and listening to a radio, in a situation similar to this picture.◊

Zuckerberg pipes up. Im done waiting. Let’s just call it now!

Bezos shakes his bald head. We need to know what we’re disapproving of. Tamatomas, or Waluigimas.

Weeeeell, what’s the plan once we do know what it is?

At this point, Taco steps in. “Whatever holiday it is, we claim it’s not very Christian, and say it’d be “Unamerican” of us to consider it a federal holiday.”

And we get the workers to work on Christmas?

“Jeff, you’re salivating,” Taco informs, passing Bezos a handkerchief, which he gladly accepts. “Whatever happens, we’ll get the day, don’t worry.”

Edited by TacoBadger on Jan 5th 2021 at 5:39:49 AM

The North Pole

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Santa is PASSE! OLD NEWS! WALUIGI IS THE NEW GREATEST BRINGER OF JOY! WALUIGI WALUIGI WALUIGI! WAAAAAA!"

Waluigi punctuates his tantrum with frenetic stomps on the wooden floor of Santa's office.

Afar Observation

A figure saw things from afar, still unsure about joining the main event.

I should join... Nah, not here. Not now

Jakarta, Indonesia

It's the rainy season, and this time, large chunks of trash float over the floods of the city. 59 patterned boxes end up at Libre's home after the rain clears.
(sigh) "They say Jakarta is a literal trashfire, I thought the term meant it had lots of trash and fires. Apparently it means something poorly done; a mess. Still fits, I guess."

Edited by SomeLibre on Jan 7th 2021 at 3:02:57 AM

Somewhere nearing the North Pole

In the distance, Bob's car begins hauling towards the workshop at a consistent 30 miles per hour.

"We are almost there."

"Oh my god. I'll go there myself."

I kick the passenger side door open, then toss out my keyblade, which turns into a hoverboard. I then hop on, keeping quick pace with Bob's car.

"You coming, Tropes? I'll give you a piggyback ride."

Edited by Afterwards on Jan 5th 2021 at 9:05:23 AM

Tropes wakes up

"Oh, sure! Just let me untangle myself from this seatbelt prison."

Tropes does so...eventually, and then jumps on After's back.

I begin to hover the rest of the way to the North Pole.

"So.... Why were we coming up here again? Feels like we were in that guy's car for days...."

"Uh...wait...I think I wrote it on my hand."

Tropes looks down at his hand.

"Get...peasants? Uh, maybe we're here to start a revolution against a tyrant king? I dunno."

"Hmmm.... yes..... We must unionize the elves against the capitalist oppressor Santa Claus....... Yes......."

"We must make haste."

I speed up my hoverboard.

Edited by Afterwards on Jan 5th 2021 at 9:18:58 AM

The figure, Bale, kept himself warm with a stuffy coat then wondered to himself.

Do elves have dental care? If not, then we could riot about it.

"Awesome! I can't wait. Do you think you'll get a hammer and sickle keyblade? That'd be so cool."

Edited by TropesForever on Jan 6th 2021 at 3:20:44 AM

"Oh, I'm totally getting a hammer and sickle Keyblade. I'll forge one in Santa's workshop once we seize the means of production."

Edited by Afterwards on Jan 5th 2021 at 9:27:52 AM

"Amazing!"

Santa Tamatoa's office

Of course. That's why it's 'brought to you by Waluigi'! the 'brought to you by' is ALWAYS the most important part.'

Edited by TropesForever on Jan 6th 2021 at 4:11:48 AM

The North Pole

"Fine! If you're going to be so insistent this is "brought to you by" Waluigi, then WALUIGI WILL DO THE BRINGING!"

He cartwheels out of the office, purple paintbrush in hand. Seconds later, the distant terrified screams of the elves can be heard.

Hoverboard

We arrive at the North Pole. I set my hoverboard down upon a snowy plaza, where Santa's shop lies at the end of a festive street.

"This is it," I say as we touch down. "The revolution begins now."

"I wish I'd brought some kind of revolution-bringing tool. Like, I dunno, the manuscript of a new manifesto or something."

Workshop

Now, don't do anything hasty! It took care and precision to build up this brand! Tamatoa darts out after Waluigi.

I slowly lift a small paperback book onto the screen, titled "The Christmas Manifesto", authored and illustrated by one Afterwords.

Jakarta, Indonesia

Back at Libre's home, he opened the presents, and started disassembling it's contents. He finds a photo...

"(Reads photo with handwriting on it) Tropesburg? That seems... interesting. (reads location written on the photo) ...United States? Well crap that's far, but I guess it's better than this hometown trashflood!"

He decides to craft a makeshift hook gun out of the present's contents (to hitch a ride on a flying vehicle), and packs up his personal necessities and belongings (cylinder hairbrush, mbira, writing utensils, etc) in a suitcase and a duffelbag.

"Wow...incredible work! How long did that take you to write?"

"I have secretly been planning this for years. Let's go. Where is the elf practice room?"

At this moment, a terrified elf, covered head to toe in purple paint, drops out of the sky and lands buried headfirst in the thick Arctic snow.

"Did you see that? I've always wondered where elves come from. I guess they're a type of precipitation."

Edited by TropesForever on Jan 6th 2021 at 11:58:09 PM

Bob stops at a gas station, with a sign reading "North Pole Gas Station: No, this isn't actually the North Pole, That One's Just A Few Miles From Here, Santa Doesn't Live Here, Please Stop Bothering Us About This Please." As he gets gas, he notices that After and Tropes left.

"Did they leave. Oh no. They left me. I don't know what to do. What did I do wrong." He leans on the gas pump and cries boring tears.

Bob?

Alfredo waddles over to Bob from his car, recently parked.

Bob, don’t let those jerks get to you!