The Backyard: Gardeners, Assemble!

A fence it is.

Which reminds me, people can put barbed wire on their fences as long as they put a "Warning, Barbed Wire" sign.

Edit: Wait no, that's illegal too, people just do it more often. Like my neighbors.

edited 1st Sep '12 9:58:41 PM by Leradny

I'm still liking this "pit-trap" idea...

@Maddy: Unfortunately clover grows to monstrous proportions up here.

@Drunkscriblerian: We can just use those anti-bird spikes your mom has on the top of her fence.

edited 1st Sep '12 10:05:46 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

@DG: those things are evil. I would not mess with those bastards again unless someone paid me a lot of money to do it.

@Drunkscriblerian: But it would certainly keep the children squirrels out of your yard.

That is true. I'm also imagining the lawsuits that would result should one of those dumb kids try to climb my fence and end up tangling with that evil bit of wire...

I was about to suggest keeping foul-smelling plants on the outer edges, which would deter a lot of thieves, but it would also be unpleasant for law abiding citizens, too.

Trick vegetables on the outer edge, like green tomatoes? Root vegetables that would stay hidden? Boring vegetables like kale, spinach, or loose-leaf lettuce? Tedious harvests like beans or peas?

An honor system? "Knock on the door and ask nicely if you want something and we might just give it to you"?

It's less that we're worried about them stealing veggies as we are worried about them destroying them by walking through the yard and being careless. We already have problems with the neighborhood children and their mindless destruction.

Ahhh. That's much trickier than thieves.

Yeah, although a fence would be sufficient. I don't think they're the sort to go through the effort of jumping a fence to break something, and while they'll take stuff that's just laying around, I don't think they'd jump a fence to get at random junk either.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I have a scythe.

A full-sized scythe Cool. My folks had one. I always wanted to learn how to use it properly. I could never figure it out on my own. Pout.

So, Mister Inverurie Jones, I want a video of you using it.

edited 2nd Sep '12 9:18:23 AM by Madrugada

Gee, I thought the thing poking up out of the pot was the clove I'd planted being pushed up, but no, apparently all garlic sprouts look like weird little rubbery giraffe tongues colored green.

Yup... the whole onion lot looks like that at that stage. It's their version of "puppy".

I have scrubbed out the mouldy terra cotta starter pot that housed the aphid-infested old mint, and set the garlic in a deeper pot. It used up the last of my potting soil. I shall get a huge bag for the three extra mint cuttings and repotting my basil.

The garlic smell was incredibly strong. I consoled myself by fussing with my nice smelling plants.

Officially over the hump with my massive yard project! We have gotten all the turf loosened and broken up, now all that remains is raking the remaining clods/rocks out of the soil. Then the tractor will return and grade everything off properly (my yard has a definite slope towards the house, do not want), and we'll have to erect some kind of temporary fence to keep the neighborhood kids from messing with the grass seedlings. Once again, wish I had the resources for sod but I don't.

Went to the store today after spending all afternoon grubbing in the dirt...forgot how filthy I was, and got a lot of strange looks from people. The clerk at the register asked, "tough day in the yard?" I just smiled and replied "whatever gave you that idea?"

She thought it was funny.

If I had a yard, and that yard had a slope, I'd personally just put plants that like lots of water near the house and plants that need well-drained soil at the top. Then I'd dig out some shallow steps. Grading sounds like it'd be a real pain in the ass.

This suggestion is proven legal by a thirty-second Google search.

Well, it's less that we're concerned about plants, and more that we're concerned about water collecting in the foundation of the house and causing damage.

edited 3rd Sep '12 7:16:26 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

Also, plants next to the house = bad. They always get bigger than you think they will and root structures are death to concrete...like, you know, the concrete in the foundation that holds up a house.

Had to rip out a massive rhododendron that the previous occupant had planted right at the corner of the house...the roots were growing under/into the foundation there, fortunately I got to it before serious damage occurred. Same with a camellia bush on the other side of the house...fucker was growing up through the gutters and causing them to separate from the eaves.

Oh, it goes right up to the house? Hrmph.

If you're willing to do some extra work, you could get some root killer in the plumbing section and keep it in a semi sealed layer around your foundation. That way, any plants that get through find only poison.

@deboss: yeah, but those things have a habit of poisoning things you don't want dead. I'll just do grass up to the house and invest in a weed whacker.

The reason most yards have nothing but grass is because grass is about the easiest thing to take care of. Beds need weeding, watering and fertilizer. And the more successful you are at providing soil the plants you do want like, the more you have to weed...because weeds love that soil too.

My mother invested 20 years in getting her soil just perfect...and now has to weed her property constantly because of it.

Also, random tip; never ever ever plant lily-of-the-valley. It will take over the universe, and if you decide you don't like it getting rid of it is all but impossible. That shit is the Taliban of the plant world, I swear.

But it's pretty!

Pots? Raised beds with rocks at the bottom?

@Leradny: Pots would be okay. But whatever you do, don't put that shit in the ground. It'll spread like herpes at a frat-house.